It didn’t seem like such a long time, yet so many things had changed because of one person named Song Hyunsoo.
He had definitely preferred comfort before—comfort that didn’t try to change him.
He detested any attitude that demanded or interfered.
Without a second glance or hesitation, he would coldly announce, “It’s over.” Likewise, Yoon Jooho never expected anything from the other side.
So why had he gone along with Song Hyunsoo’s insistence to adopt Monroe?
He had sworn never to have pets again, and had stuck to that decision until now.
Why did it bother him so unbearably whether he lived in a house where the wind blew right through and the windows had to be sealed with air bubble wrap?
How had he even thought of bringing something like that into his home?
Why did it feel like fresh wounds opened every time someone called him pathetic?
From the first moment they met until now, everything had been so unlike the Yoon Jooho he knew.
He allowed himself to be colored by Song Hyunsoo, pulled him deeply into his life, and dyed him with his own hues—changes that happened without him even realizing it.
And now, he found himself hanging onto his phone, staring desperately, just to get a single reply.
He had no idea how things had come to this.
Staring intently at the chat window that hadn’t changed to ‘read,’ Yoon Jooho sighed and stood up from his chair.
It was time to get ready to leave for the set.
Standing in front of the wardrobe, just about to take off his robe, the doorbell rang.
It was his Manager.
The Manager stood at the door holding an A4-sized cardboard box.
“What is this?”
Taking the box from him, Yoon Jooho asked.
“There’s a quick delivery for you. It’s from Seoul, apparently.”
“Quick delivery?”
“Probably something from the company?”
Yoon Jooho moved aside to let the Manager in and shook the box.
It was neither too heavy nor too light. From the weight and sound alone, he couldn’t guess what was inside.
“What is it? Didn’t you eat again?”
The Manager’s eyes widened in shock at the almost untouched meal.
“If you keep this up, you’re really going to collapse. How are you supposed to shoot?”
“I’ll just eat a protein bar.”
“I have no choice but to report this to Director Bang.”
Yoon Jooho half-listened, half-ignored the Manager’s warning as he opened the box.
Inside was a photo album roughly the size of a notebook.
“……”
The pages inside, designed so you could stick photos and write comments, were filled with nothing but Song Hyunsoo.
It was a meticulous chronological collection of Song Hyunsoo coming and going from Yoon Jooho’s mansion.
Each photo was carefully labeled with dates and times of when he entered and left the mansion.
Included was a picture of the two getting into Jooho’s Sprinter together in the hotel parking lot after his birthday party.
There was also a shot of Jooho buying an orange puffer jacket at the department store, followed by another showing Song Hyunsoo wearing that jacket walking into the Production Company office for a script reading.
Every single page was lovingly preserved, looking almost like a photo album made by lovers to commemorate their time together.
“Hah.”
Clicking his tongue, Yoon Jooho threw the photo album onto the bed and ground his teeth.
“Damn it, they really want to fight.”
“Why? What’s wrong, hyung? Did something happen?”
He practically shoved the frightened Manager out of the room and immediately called Director Bang.
[So you’re going on a hunger strike to get Hyunsoo back…]
“They’re probably trying to pin the gay rumors on me. Tell them that’s not going to happen.”
Director Bang had started to lecture him the moment he answered the phone after hearing the Manager’s text about Yoon Jooho leaving all his food, but Jooho cut him off.
“What? What are you talking about, man?”
“I got photos of Song Hyunsoo. Coming and going at my place.”
Only then did Director Bang realize it was about Yoon Jooho’s parents, and his voice tensed immediately.
[Are there any photos that could serve as decisive evidence?]
“Unless they installed cameras inside the house, there’s no way.”
[Even if they can’t prove the relationship clearly, they can make things complicated. That’s probably their goal.]
“If they’re going to try and call me gay with just this much, then two-thirds of the male actors in the Republic of Korea must be gay. Hyung, I come and go to my own house all the time. Does that make me gay too?”
[They’ll probably throw whatever they can find at you.]
“They think they can threaten me with this? They must be pretty cornered themselves. Ready to go all out?”
[What do you want to do? Come up to Attorney Moon’s office now?]
“Why?”
[We need to figure out a countermeasure…]
“Do you think I’m going to throw away filming because of this pathetic threat?”
[They’re already prepared to go dirty, so I’m just saying.]
“Song Hyunsoo is an actor who signed a contract with me, and he had nowhere else to stay, so he was just crashing at my place for a while. Now he’s staying at a friend’s place I’m close to. If we were really involved like that, there’d be no reason for him to leave my place and stay at someone else’s, right? That explanation alone should be enough.”
Yoon Jooho glared at his reflection in the mirror across from the wardrobe and added,
“Don’t tell Song Hyunsoo.”
[Don’t tell him?]
“It’s no big deal. Why should we worry him? If two people are worried, then there are three people worrying.”
[Are you… okay?]
“What?”
[…]
Instead of answering, the sound of Director Bang’s deep sigh came through the phone.
Yoon Jooho scoffed and opened the wardrobe door.
“My parents are using these tactics to drag me down. You want to ask if I’m okay?”
He picked out comfortable clothes to wear to the set and threw them on the bed.
“Fortunately or unfortunately, I’m too busy with other things to care about that right now.”
[Send me those photos they say they have. Anyway, I’ll meet with Attorney Moon and talk it over.]
“Tell them if they want to threaten me, they better bring something real—like a photo of us kissing passionately. Song Hyunsoo looking sexy, that kind of thing.”
[…]
“I’ll buy it from them with money if that’s the case.”
Ending the call, he tossed his phone onto the bed.
After taking off his robe, he put on boxer briefs over his bare skin and started putting on the clothes from the mattress one by one.
These were the clothes he never dared wear outside while under his parents’ control.
Even though he would change into the costumes prepared on set once he arrived, his parents had always demanded he appear perfectly dressed.
Going out in training pants and a padded jacket was the first act of rebellion he allowed himself only after meeting Song Hyunsoo.
Wearing black knit pants that fell straight down, an oversized white T-shirt, and layering a dark gray sweatshirt on top, Yoon Jooho’s expression remained indifferent the whole time.
But as his hand reached for a black long padded jacket in the wardrobe, he hesitated.
With a hand on his waist, he lowered his head and took a deep breath.
The accusation of being gay was essentially a declaration that the name Yoon Jooho—the actor Yoon Jooho—was worthless.
From the moment the certified mail was sent, both sides had prepared to dig deep and fight fiercely.
Neither was someone who would easily give up the name Yoon Jooho and its value.
Still, somewhere deep inside, maybe he was holding onto some kind of hope.
That it wouldn’t fall so far.
That, as their only child born of their blood, they might ultimately take his hand at the very end.
“‘Are you… okay?’”
Director Bang’s worried question echoed in his mind.
Straightening his bent back, he pulled the jacket off the hanger and muttered,
“I never even expected anything, so how could I be disappointed?”
He just wanted to be by Song Hyunsoo’s side.
Like the time after meeting with his parents at Attorney Moon’s office, when he had driven to Song Hyunsoo’s house.
He desperately needed Hyunsoo’s affection, trust, and warm lips.
At that time, Yoon Jooho had been like a trapped animal instinctively seeking the safest place to hide without hesitation.
To survive.
To avoid destroying himself buried in anger and misery.
He had run toward him.
In the car heading to the set, Yoon Jooho gazed absentmindedly out the window.
Then, as if nothing had happened, he sent a message to Song Hyunsoo as usual.
《On my way to the set. Tomorrow, it’s been a few days since I last saw you.》
As if he was looking at the chat window at the same moment, the message was immediately marked as read.
Just that alone made his heart race.
What kind of foolish romance was this…?
Rubbing the corner of his mouth, staring at the chat window as if trying to drill through it, he hurriedly typed another message before Song Hyunsoo could leave the conversation.
《We’ll see each other tomorrow. Why do I miss you so much?》
《I wish you were here beside me right now.》
This time, the read receipt appeared the instant he sent it again.
Absurdly, just that was enough to feel somewhat comforted by him.
What exactly had I lost?