Chapter 17: Letters from the Palace

“Ruby. Don’t you want to study abroad?”

“Suddenly? No, um… I’m only 10 years old?”

In Korea, even entering an academy is done at 12 years old, but studying abroad at 10?

I couldn’t hide the nervousness in my eyes.

Is it true?

Is he really trying to send me abroad because he has an interest in me, a boy?

Fortunately, the study abroad talk seemed to fizzle out when I showed my bewilderment.

Unlike my second brother, who seemed relieved, my first brother and my parents appeared to be a bit disappointed.

Then, one night,

I blinked.

Pretending to sleep with my eyes closed, I opened them when the moon passed over the mansion.

Then, like a snake, I crawled off the bed and set my bare feet on the floor.

“I’ll make sure to check tonight.”

After realizing that my father had been burning mysterious letters, I found out that the letters came several times a day.

At first, it seemed like it was only one letter a day, but as time went on, the letters increased.

Just today, there were 8 letters — before breakfast, after breakfast, before lunch, after lunch… and so on.

Each time, my father would scowl in irritation, so there was no way I could not notice.

‘What could be in those letters that he’s trying so hard to hide from me?’

I was so curious I couldn’t contain myself.

I knew the letters my father had received during the day would have been burned, but I thought the ones received in the evening and before bed might still be around.

So, I planned to secretly sneak into my father’s study and steal a peek at the letters tonight.

I went outside barefoot.

There were slippers available, but since they had low heels that made noise when walking, it was better to be barefoot.

The hallway was dark, but relying on the moonlight and my memory, I carefully walked, and…

“Ah, it’s open.”

I had arrived at my father’s study.

Luckily, the door wasn’t locked.

The study was just as dark as the hallway, but I couldn’t turn on the light.

If someone patrolling saw the study lit up, they would naturally come over.

I relied on the moonlight to search the usual drawer where the letters were placed, but the drawer was empty.

“Nothing?”

Flustered, I searched the other drawers, but there were no letters to be found anywhere.

Just in case, I touched the fireplace in the study, and I felt a faint warmth.

‘He must have burned them before going to bed.’

I thought he had perfectly hidden his actions, but it seemed I had been found out right away.

I felt exposed.

Since this attempt had failed, I needed to wait for the next opportunity…

‘I wonder if the letters will keep coming.’

Tomorrow, the letters might stop coming, so there was no guarantee that there would be another chance.

In the end, I thought I wouldn’t be able to solve this curiosity, and I turned around with a disappointed face.

But to my surprise, the next day, I was able to solve it.

***

I had thought my parents would scold me in the morning for sneaking into the study, but surprisingly, no one said anything to me.

I wondered if they were deliberately avoiding mentioning it, so I felt uncomfortable.

After eating, I quietly avoided my father.

‘How frustrating…’

Although my body was still young, my mind felt like an adult.

The behavior of my family made me uncomfortable and suffocating.

I knew they were doing it because they loved me, so I couldn’t say anything.

I became sulky and hid in the garden bushes.

If I stayed in my room feeling down, my family would probably come around awkwardly to check on me, so I decided to stay hidden here until I felt better.

‘Now that I think about it, after everything that happened, I couldn’t even think about the future.’

My mind was quickly filled with thoughts of the male and female leads.

I wanted to meet them in this life no matter what…

“Both of them have too few clues.”

I muttered to myself, thinking of the two I had never seen before.

I wished I could see illustrations of them like the gods.

But that wasn’t allowed, and I was disappointed.

‘The male lead has golden hair, and the female lead has sky-blue hair…?’

Sigh.

Half of the citizens of the empire had blonde hair, and sky-blue hair was so common that you’d trip over it in the streets.

I didn’t have to look far because both my mother and my first brother had blonde hair, and there were quite a few people with blonde hair among our family’s knights as well.

…Rey also has blonde hair.

Thinking of Rey, the damned Pedro naturally came to mind, and my face contorted, but he was such a jerk that I decided to call him “poop-haired” instead of blonde-haired.

‘Blonde hair, blonde hair…’

Huh?

Now that I think about it, isn’t there a chance that Rey is the male lead?

He’s around my age, has blonde hair, and considering we met in the previous life in the palace, it seemed possible.

But to become the male lead, there was an important condition…

‘Could he be an awakened one?’

Hmm, I didn’t think so.

When I approached him, he trembled like a newborn deer, and tears were welling up in his large eyes.

There was no way such a weak child could be an awakened one.

“Actually, he seemed more like someone I had to protect…”

And when I thought about it, his eye color was different.

‘The gods said the male lead’s eyes should be black…’

Ray had golden eyes, like the deep golden color of a sunset before the sun sets.

There was no way he could be the male lead.

His eyes also seemed to be functioning properly.

‘Wait, wait…?’

When I thought of golden eyes, suddenly, I remembered something.

In my previous life, I had met the male lead and spent money on him, but instead of setting up the meeting, he had looked at me suspiciously, as if asking what I was after.

Golden eyes weren’t that rare, but there was only one family with eyes as deep and golden as that.

The conclusion from my deduction shocked me, and my vision began to waver.

My pupils were shaking.

“I know that family… and their second brother is my father’s superior…”

Really…?

Is what I’m thinking correct…?

Thoughts of Rey, no, the prince, and the rude things I did to him flashed through my mind.

I touched him without permission, held his hand, and even spoke to him casually…

“Wait… all the letters we’ve been getting have been from the palace?”

The notices were probably summons for my rude actions toward the prince.

When I thought about it, my father’s behavior of burning the letters and the serious expressions on my parents’ faces made perfect sense.

“They told me to go study abroad for that reason!”

It was an action that might seem like betrayal.

“How could you do something so dangerous…?”

I was just feeling sorry for myself, thinking they were ignoring me.

But I felt heavy in my heart, even though I kept saying I was an adult.

I had been apologizing for the whining I had done, and at that time, I didn’t know what to do with myself.

There was a commotion in the garden, or rather, throughout the mansion.

The servants and knights seemed to be moving around busily, as if searching for someone.

Was it because I wasn’t in the room that they were looking for me?

I wondered, and at that moment, I peeked my head through the bushes.

“I found you.”

As I saw a lavishly decorated outfit in front of me, a shadow fell over my head.

I slowly raised my head to confirm the person, and I soon saw radiant blonde hair that sparkled like a fairy’s thread, with the sun behind it.

***

After that day, Raymund was tormented by thirst.

Or should I say, hunger?

His heart felt like a bottomless pit.

He was always empty and continued to long for someone.

‘I want to meet again.’

He missed the warmth that had been conveyed through his hands, so he clasped his own hands together.

But strangely, his hands were not as hot as Seiana’s.

The more he felt that way, the greater the emptiness in his heart became, but Leymund couldn’t go to meet Seiana.

He had sent letters saying he would visit regularly, but he never received a reply.

“Did I send it correctly?”

He asked the palace servant he had asked to deliver the letter, but the servant only responded with a voice full of grievance, saying they had delivered it correctly.

So, the count must have deliberately ignored the letter…

“Haha.”

Raymund was a little angry at the count’s rude actions, but he understood his position.

Before his precious daughter was devoured by a monster, he would want to avoid it, he thought.

He understood that feeling but couldn’t accept it.

He had just found an oasis himself.

It felt like he might die of thirst at any moment, but he couldn’t just do nothing because he was worried that stepping into it might pollute the water source.

“But it’s hard to take a firm stand.”

He had the strength and the reason to do so, but what if, driven by his feelings, he pushed too hard and made Seiana sad?

He feared that it might cause her to have ill feelings towards him.

The one who desires loses, so Raymund, unable to do anything, just sent more letters as a form of protest.

Even if he wanted to argue, the count himself did not attend court due to illness, so all he could do was this.

The letters he had been sending only in the morning were now sent at lunchtime, and in the evening too.

When that didn’t work, they were sent twice a day, even before going to sleep.

Every time the servant handed over the letters, the count would say that he personally received them properly… but it was clear that these letters wouldn’t even reach Seiana.

After being ignored for a while, one day, his brain, driven mad by repeated thirst, came up with a brilliant idea.

To hide me abroad until the matter settled down!

Ah, suddenly realizing this, I felt dizzy and collapsed in the garden.

“What are we going to do if we burn letters from the palace…?”

It wasn’t like they were refusing to receive orders directly from the messenger, but still, it was enough to make me feel overwhelmed.