Chapter 169: Dissolve: His Last Choice

His eyes revealed anxiety.

It was different from the bold confidence he had shown when shamelessly claiming exclusive rights in front of Jung Sungwon.

But possessiveness and the desire for exclusivity were not the destinations Song Hyunsoo sought.

Even before he said he wanted to date, Yoon Jooho had already displayed possessiveness and a craving for ownership in abundance.

Those things might mark the beginning of love, but they could never be the ultimate form of love.

No, leaving everything aside, what Song Hyunsoo wished for from Yoon Jooho was far more than just that.

He never imagined that he would be so greedy with someone as great as Yoon Jooho. But his heart felt that way.

He wanted all of him and wanted the version of him that had surpassed everything he had been until now.

Anything less was unacceptable.

“You’re not really doing this because you don’t understand how I feel, are you?”

Yoon Jooho’s hands cupped Song Hyunsoo’s cheeks.

His breath rose and fell sharply, so close that it seemed to flow into his lips.

It had been a long time since they had looked at each other’s faces this closely, except when they filmed Scene 93.

Their gazes traced every corner of each other’s faces.

Only lovers had the privilege of looking at each other’s faces at such a distance.

He searched for his place in Yoon Jooho’s eyes.

Yoon Jooho’s thumb gently stroked Hyunsoo’s cheek.

Then, unexpectedly, he tilted his head and pressed his lips against his.

Song Hyunsoo’s body stiffened.

He tried to turn his face away to resist the rubbing and pressing lips.

But Yoon Jooho tightened his grip on Hyunsoo’s cheeks.

The moment his lower lip was drawn between Yoon Jooho’s, Hyunsoo shoved him away with his shoulder.

“What do you think you’re doing? Are you out of your mind??”

He rubbed his lips with the back of his hand, his face flushed red with anger as he panted.

Yoon Jooho was pushed back four or five steps, his gaze wavering wildly.

“I thought you might cry…”

“Why would it matter if I cry? If I cry, does that mean you get to kiss me? Do you even have the right to do this to me right now?”

Yoon Jooho’s eyes dropped at a slant.

Hyunsoo shouted at the side profile of his lips as he licked them.

“Am I the kind of guy who can say whatever when he’s pissed off and then come back to hug and kiss you when he regrets it? Is that what I am to you?”

“You know that’s not it!”

Yoon Jooho reached out, but Song Hyunsoo stepped back just as far.

“Is your idea of dating always like this?”

“What do you mean?”

“You do whatever you want. Even saying it’s over… just like that, so easily…”

The moment he heard the word “over,” it all came rushing back.

Tears welled up violently, and his voice trembled.

He pressed his nose and wiped the tears away haphazardly.

Though Yoon Jooho wanted to approach, unsure what to do, he didn’t cross that line after being rejected once.

His jaw tensed, his lips moved silently, and in front of Hyunsoo’s tears, he looked almost frightened.

“You said it was over… so why are you angry and why are you kissing me? Damn it, by what right?”

“Hyunsoo.”

He rejected Yoon Jooho’s hand again as it reached out.

This time, he even flicked his wrist coldly.

“Don’t touch me. I’m not yours anymore.”

“……”

A complex expression of hurt, shock, burning heat, and anger danced like a tongue of fire across his beautiful face.

Song Hyunsoo’s overflowing emotions boiled uncontrollably.

“You hide things, you lie. It’s not just that.”

“……”

“Have you ever thought about how I feel knowing what happened?”

Hyunsoo clenched his fists tightly.

“Did I try to get close to you because I’m friends with Jin?”

“No!”

“Maybe I was hoping to hear something about him from you.”

“That’s not true.”

Before he could deny it, Yoon Jooho lunged forward and gripped Hyunsoo’s shoulders tightly.

“Hyunsoo, look at me.”

He stubbornly avoided the gaze, staring over his shoulder, holding back tears.

“Did I ever ask you once how Jung Jin is doing? Did I ever ask even casually? That’s really not true. You know that. Why do you think like that?”

“When Jin was struggling on his business trip to Paris, did I think about calling him? Did I hesitate? Did I even wonder about that?”

Yoon Jooho shook the shoulders he held fiercely.

“I was only thinking about you.”

“……”

“Remember? You left after we fought. I wanted to go see you quickly, I wanted to make up. Why would I think about those things?”

“I can’t help but imagine. I get all sorts of thoughts!”

Holding Hyunsoo’s shoulders, Yoon Jooho nodded slowly.

He closed his eyes and opened them again, swallowed hard.

He was trying to stay calm.

“Okay, I’m sorry. It’s all my fault.”

“What’s the fault of yours, Hyung?”

“……”

“You didn’t do a transfer break-up with me or Jin. You didn’t cheat. It’s not something to apologize for that you were with someone before me, is it?”

His hand, which had been holding Hyunsoo’s shoulders, dropped down along with his gaze.

He moved his lips several times and whispered as if exhaling.

“I was more afraid of losing you than the wounds you might get.”

His eyes cautiously searched for Hyunsoo’s gaze again.

“I need you more than you need me.”

“Ugh.”

This time, Hyunsoo wiped his face.

“Come home with me.”

Yoon Jooho gently held Hyunsoo’s fingertips.

When he didn’t pull away, he wrapped both of his hands tightly around Hyunsoo’s left hand.

“I’ll bother you as much as you want until your heart eases, okay?”

“I know you’ve treated me well. Being prickly and saying unpleasant things isn’t all there is to you.”

“Then…”

Song Hyunsoo wriggled to pull his hand away from Yoon Jooho’s.

“But, you know, life isn’t always good days, right?”

“……”

“If you try to run away like that again every time a problem arises?”

The corners of Hyunsoo’s eyes reddened once more.

Yoon Jooho’s anxious gaze traced over those tear stains.

From the hands that wouldn’t let go, Hyunsoo finally freed his hand.

“Each time, I’m afraid you won’t be the same person who hugged me and kissed me… I’m scared you’ll change like that again.”

He pulled back the curtains and left the private room.

By the bar counter, he started gathering his things.

A waiter brought his coat and scarf from the inner closet.

Yoon Jooho’s eyes followed the scarf.

Knowing that Hyunsoo still used the gift he had given him seemed to comfort him a little.

After putting on his coat first, Song Hyunsoo called a taxi and wrapped the scarf around his neck.

Beside him, Yoon Jooho sighed and pressed his hand down on the bag.

“I’ll take you home.”

“You can just take the taxi.”

“I brought my car. I’ll take you, so let’s talk a bit more on the way.”

“I have nothing more to say right now.”

Fortunately, a taxi was assigned nearby.

As he shrugged off Yoon Jooho’s hand and slung his backpack over one shoulder, Song Hyunsoo looked for Seo Hae with his eyes.

Seo Hae watched him with a worried expression.

Hyunsoo nodded briefly and turned away.

Yoon Jooho followed.

Pushing open the glass door, a taxi with its lights on was waiting.

After checking the license plate, Hyunsoo headed straight for the back seat.

Yoon Jooho grabbed his arm just as he reached for the door handle.

“Aren’t you sorry for me now?”

“……”

Yoon Jooho’s expression was desperate, like he was throwing his last card to win over Hyunsoo’s heart.

Words that were like a secret shared only between the two of them.

At that moment, more than ever, they felt a closeness that pitied and comforted each other.

Longing and strong sympathy for that moment rippled inside Hyunsoo.

It was enough to make him feel dizzy.

He captured that feeling in his eyes and looked back at him.

“I feel sorry for you.”

“……”

“But it seems I’m not pitiful enough to make me miserable.”

A flicker of hope appeared and then crumbled in Yoon Jooho’s eyes.

Song Hyunsoo opened the door and got into the taxi.

“Please, start driving, sir.”

He tried not to look out the window.

Even after the car started moving, the driver glanced at the rearview mirror and then turned his body to look out behind the rear window.

“The person you were with—Isn’t that Prince Yoon Jooho?”

“Excuse me? Ah… no way. It’s not Yoon Jooho.”

The driver responded as if it was nonsense, and then seemed to accept it.

When the taxi turned right at an alley corner, Yoon Jooho’s figure remained standing there in the same spot.

He stood with his arms at his sides, looking dazed.

He was watching this direction.

For a moment, Song Hyunsoo leaned forward.

“Um, sir.”

“Yes?”

“Ah, no, it’s nothing. Never mind.”

He clasped his hands together and lowered his head.

The taxi fully left the alley and joined the main road.

If he stopped the taxi now and ran back to hug him, he would surely hold him tightly in return.

He would whisper wholeheartedly that he was sorry, that none of those words had been true, in the voice he loved.

Then they would go to his place and have wild sex all night.

It would be easy to just move on like that.

But if that happened, this pattern would definitely repeat.

If this was not a fleeting flame but a future they were willing to face for each other, at least he and he had to speak the same language.

Leaning his head against the window, he aimlessly watched the passing scenery.

He wiped away the late-flowing tears carelessly with his hand.

He thought he would never forget the face of Yoon Jooho asking, “Aren’t you sorry for me anymore?”