Chapter 16: The Reluctant Lesson

Sahyeon modestly clasped his hands together and cautiously covered his mouth.

Then, rolling his uneasy eyes, he glanced to gauge Dan Ijae’s expression.

Narrowing his eyes sharply, his gaze grew fiercer as he stared at him…

“Sh-should we study now? Please?”

Sahyeon forced an awkward smile, silently begging for it to just pass by.

Perhaps sensing his thoughts, Dan Ijae soon lowered his eyes and let out a snort of laughter.

It was not a bad sign.

“Well, our Baek Munhak said that if I lie down on the bed and just loaf around, I’d get bored, but as you can see, I have a lot to do. This is no time to waste on books.”

“There’s nothing in the room anyway. What else is there to do besides sleeping?”

“Since ancient times, to reach the pinnacle of pleasure, one must learn the Way (Do), and then, to feel joy, one must study.”

“That’s right. The Way may be far away, but study is close by, so Confucius encourages us to experience the utmost joy.”

“But the thing is, doesn’t everything require taking steps? To enjoy the highest level of pleasure, one must also know what lower levels of pleasure are.”

Sahyeon’s tightly curled lips trembled slightly.

He thought, “Why is he dragging this out so much? Is this just a way to say he doesn’t want to study?”

“So you enjoyed drinking, didn’t you?”

“Then drinking is out of the question. What’s next?”

“Studying.”

“No, isn’t it ‘Unwoo Jirak’ (雲雨之樂)?”

Again, again…

Does he think I’d freak out and run away if he said something like that?

But Sahyeon was someone who had become immune to such silly antics.

He could tell whether the other person really had some kind of desire for him when they said such things, or if it was just a deliberate ploy to scare him off.

That morning, when the gatekeeper had grabbed Sahyeon’s hand and spoken as if nothing happened, his gaze had sent chills down his spine, but Dan Ijae’s eyes, openly talking about ‘Unwoo Jirak’, didn’t make him feel that unpleasant—just irritated.

No, damn it.

Is he just saying “study” so only Sahyeon does well?

No matter if it means Baek Munhak will give land or whatever to Dan Ijae.

Or maybe he should just take a sword and cut off the enemy commander’s head.

Sahyeon bit his lower lip hard and swallowed what he wanted to say, so as not to make a mistake like before.

Then, forcing a strained smile across his face, he finally spoke.

“Pleasure is something you should learn to enjoy alone, anytime, anywhere.”

Dan Ijae, instead of answering, opened and waved his right hand which had been propping his chin.

“Are you serious? Really?”

“Why, is Baek Munhak ashamed of masturbation?”

“Masturbation is something anyone does, but waving your hands around and announcing you’re about to do it in front of others—that’s embarrassing, yes, it is!”

“Seems like people in the south are like that. In the north, it’s polite to freely take it out and wave it whenever you want.”

“No, what, no one lives in the north? Even animals don’t do that!”

He folded his fingers one by one, leaving only his index finger shaking obnoxiously.

Then Dan Ijae pointed at his own eyes with that finger.

“Animals do that sometimes.”

He wasn’t studying but researching ways to make a person speechless all day.

If Sahyeon kept silent here, this method of pushing him away would continue.

Since he was his ‘famed teacher,’ he showed at least some respect.

He treated Sahyeon more like a person than when they first met in front of the inn.

Even when he slipped up, he didn’t scold him harshly.

Then maybe it was worth pushing the limits of rudeness a little more…

Sahyeon suddenly grabbed Dan Ijae’s finger pointing at his own eyes.

Not expecting him to allow such a thing, Dan Ijae immediately frowned.

Hesitating would mean being underestimated.

Surely he wouldn’t kill the neck of the teacher who had waited until this late night just to teach him study.

“I don’t know how Confucius sees himself, but learning the Way of humanity is exactly what studying is.”

“Long ago, when the Taoist master Imok stayed briefly in Namya, he was shocked by the lascivious customs there and compiled a method to harmonize yin and yang correctly, spreading it widely.”

“If you want to know the proper way of masturbation, look at Volume 2. It’s written in the back about why one should not copulate with beasts.”

“In life, there is a Way everywhere, and it is learned through books. Once you finish the ‘So Hak,’ I’ll introduce you to various books that Confucius would like.”

Whether Dan Ijae was listening or not, he didn’t relax his furrowed brow and stared only at the back of Sahyeon’s hand that was holding his own.

Getting closer might have earned a slap, so Sahyeon gently let go of his hand.

“How about it?”

Dan Ijae finally looked directly at Sahyeon.

His brow was still furrowed.

“I’m tired. I’m going to sleep.”

“Will you study when you wake up?”

Without replying, Dan Ijae lay down.

It was a relief he hadn’t loosened his waistband yet to masturbate.

“Won’t you avoid the temple again and go out somewhere right after you wake up?”

He turned his back and flipped over as if he didn’t want to hear it.

“Sleep well. I’ll wait here until you get up.”

Still, no answer came.

Staying up all night was nothing new.

From the blood-stained Maechun to wandering aimlessly to enter Chae Gong’s discipleship, enduring stares from elder brothers and juniors there, and fleeing to this place after Chae Gong’s death, Sahyeon had always stayed up wide-eyed, fighting off deathlike sleep.

So what was difficult about staying up all night here, in this warm room with no danger?

…or so he thought, at first.

He realized too late that staying up in a freezing forest, where the cries of wild animals echoed in the darkness, was better than the warm room.

With barely open eyes, he strained to see the flickering oil lamp finally go out.

That was Sahyeon’s last memory.

***

Hearing busy footsteps outside, Sahyeon opened his eyes wide.

White light poured through the long-drawn curtains.

Where was this?

It didn’t look like an inn room… just for a moment, he thought.

Then he realized whose soft silk blanket he was cozily lying under.

“Gasp!”

Startled, he jumped up.

Cold sweat ran down his forehead.

What on earth was going on?

Dan Ijae had fallen asleep first, and he sat waiting all night until he woke, only dozing briefly…

“Sir, have you awakened?”

A large palace guard entered, wearing a smile as big as a basin.

Sahyeon blinked in confusion and looked up at him silently.

“What is this…?”

“Oh, the Confucius ordered that when the chief librarian found you lying here, struggling to sleep, you should be laid here.”

“That really sounds like what he said,” Sahyeon muttered.

The palace guard, caught, rolled his big eyes and scratched his cheek.

“Actually, you said, ‘Just roll it roughly and lay it here. I’m curious what kind of expression it will have when it wakes up from sleep,’ but… actually, I think Jang Seogam Nae-rigi hoped that Dan Ijae could sleep peacefully.”

Damn that guy.

Sahyeon covered his face with both hands.

Thinking about how much Dan Ijae must have laughed seeing him lying face down after waking up made the future look bleak.

“So, where did Gongja go again?”

“Oh, even now, it shouldn’t be hard to find him. He said he was going to the gyeokgujang (擊毬場).”

Gyeokgu.

At least it was a relief he wasn’t drinking from early morning.

Sahyeon quickly brushed off his seat and stood up.

Whatever happened, catching Dan Ijae and sitting him down was the priority now.

“Oh, please don’t rush. The gyeokgu match is probably in full swing right now. You can eat first and go there at a leisurely pace.”

“No, I’m not hungry yet, so I plan to eat later back at Seogoro.”

Setting aside the urgency of his mind, he was embarrassed to have just lazed around here and didn’t want to be fed a meal.

But Gung-gwan blocked Sahyeon’s way as he tried to leave the room and shook his head firmly.

“I have prepared breakfast for you, sir.”

“I really am okay.”

“Please, eat. Even Gongja left without eating, so everyone now…”

Gung-gwan sighed and pushed open the half-closed door.

The Gung-gwan hiding behind the door finally became visible.

All of them looked at Sahyeon with earnest eyes…

…they were on the brink of starving to death.

“Ah…”

Come to think of it, he had heard somewhere that the Gung-gwan who served their master survived by eating the leftovers from the master’s meals.

That’s why they apparently ate all the dried persimmons brought yesterday to serve guests.

Then, Dan Ijae seemed to wander outside the pavilion every day, but how on earth were these people eating?

“I understand. Then, without shame, I’ll have the meal…”

“It’s been so long since we had guests. We specially used plenty of ingredients that are either your favorites… ah no, delicious.”

A big-bodied Gung-gwan pushed Sahyeon into the dining room.

From behind, he could hear the excited whispers of the Gung-gwan.

“I even skipped breakfast to eat this. What was the side dish this morning again?”

“Radish soup and deodeok salad.”

“I’m sick of radish soup. It’s time to feast on some skewers for once.”

…It seemed there wasn’t the inhumane custom of starving people within the palace.

They just wanted to eat something tasty.