Chapter 16: The Priestess’s Plants vs. Monsters

I have to admit, as a labor force, Hero is truly efficient.

The pile of unknown seeds left behind by the old priest were planted into the soil in no time at all.

“Phew, Priestess, all done! Anything else you need me to do?” Elent wiped the sweat from his forehead and turned to shout at Celia, who was lounging in a chair under the shade of the trees.

“No, that’s it. Leave the rest to me.”

Celia sat up from her recliner and picked up the half-empty fertilizer bucket in the corner by the wall.

After two days, the pitch-black fertilizer inside still seemed to wriggle slightly, emitting an unsettling vitality.

But as a former programmer, Celia understood one simple truth:

As long as the code runs before going live, it doesn’t matter how ugly it is. Likewise, fertilizer just needs to work.

She walked up to the freshly tilled, expansive land Elent had prepared.

So much.

With this much land, if she fertilized bit by bit like last time, who knows how long it would take? Way too time-consuming.

A very efficient method took shape in her mind—

Just dump the entire half-bucket of fertilizer on this field.

Dumping a little at a time is still dumping; dumping it all at once is also dumping. The result is the same.

“Though it’s a bit much, it should be fine, right?”

Celia stared at the fertilizer in the bucket, comforting herself.

At worst, the carrots would just grow bigger, or maybe crunchier? Even if a carrot spirit sprouted, with Hero here, it wouldn’t be much of a problem.

Celia cleared her throat, putting on a solemn expression.

“Feel the blessing of the earth—”

With this utterly insincere prayer, Celia flicked her wrist and splashed the entire half-bucket of fertilizer onto the soil.

She didn’t even bother to spread it evenly.

But that was no longer important.

The moment the fertilizer touched the earth, the previously quiet backyard suddenly convulsed violently.

The smooth land burst apart, countless green vines tearing through the surface. In just a single breath, the backyard was overtaken by a sea of lush green jungle.

“Is this a miracle?!” Elent was so stunned by the sight that he couldn’t speak.

“Ha, of course it’s a miracle.”

Celia forced herself to appear calm and lifted her chin, but the moment she saw the scene before her, her smile froze on her face.

Even though she’d mentally prepared herself, wasn’t this change a bit too drastic?

Before Celia could finish complaining in her mind, a strange plant at Elent’s feet began to stir.

It was a bean plant about half as tall as a person, with a large green pod at its tip, swelling and contracting as if it breathed.

“What sacred species is this now?”

Elent’s curiosity overwhelmed his sense of self-preservation; he could even feel the immense magical energy contained within the plant.

“Careful!”

Celia barely finished her warning before the plant moved.

A green bean shot out.

Elent’s instincts as a hero candidate screamed at him, and he jerked his head aside.

The bean grazed his cheek, then smashed into the church’s stone wall behind him, blasting a deep crater.

Elent stood frozen. If he hadn’t dodged just now, that blow to the face would definitely have ruined his looks—or given him a concussion.

Immediately after, the plant seemed to tremble from the overloaded shot, its leaves rustling, then quickly began recharging, the pod swelling once again.

Though it had neither eyes nor a mouth, Elent could feel its undisguised contempt.

“Priestess, this is?”

Celia’s eye twitched uncontrollably, but looking into Elent’s eager, inquisitive eyes, she knew she couldn’t lose her composure now.

“Ahem, that’s right, Elent.”

Celia gazed up at the sky, letting the sunlight gild her profile with an enigmatic golden halo.

“This is no ordinary plant, but the legendary Pea Arbiter.”

“Within it flows wild life force, making its temperament fierce. Even the slightest sluggishness will provoke its urge to attack.”

Celia turned to Elent, giving him a look full of disappointed expectation.

“It attacked you because it spotted your weakness. Your sword is fast, but your footwork is too slow.”

“This is its way of correcting your flaws.”

“This is a wake-up call!”

Celia turned away, cold sweat breaking out on her back.

Even she didn’t believe what she’d just made up.

“Priestess.” Elent’s voice trembled behind her.

It’s over. He’s seen through me?

“I understand!” Elent suddenly slapped his thigh.

“This plant has no eyes! You’re trying to tell me that a true guardian doesn’t need eyes—they sense with their heart, right?!”

“?”

Celia glanced back at the Pea Arbiter, which indeed didn’t have any eyes.

“Yes, you’re very perceptive.”

“Then, what about that one?”

Elent pointed to something not far away—a nut that looked just like a rock.

It stood there motionless, yet exuded an unshakable sense of oppression.

“Oh, that’s the Wall of Sighs. Its existence is to mock feeble attacks.”

Celia casually made up another name.

“I get it!”

Elent didn’t need Celia to elaborate—he’d already learned to answer ahead of time.

“You’re telling me that if I can’t even break a defense, I have no right to speak of protection, right?!”

With a low growl, Elent raised his greatsword and struck the nut hard.

The sword bounced high with a huge rebound, the force numbing his hands.

As for the nut, it only had a white mark on its surface. Then, as if annoyed by a tickle, a tiny crack appeared, and it sprayed a puff of mocking steam.

A thought seemed to slam into Elent’s mind:

That’s it?

Gripping his trembling sword, Elent wasn’t discouraged at all. Instead, his eyes brimmed with tears.

“What indomitable defense! What prideful bearing!”

“I too want to become a Wall of Sighs that drives enemies to despair! Priestess, is this the spirit of guardianship you wish to impart to me?”

“If that’s how you want to understand it, I have no objection.”

Celia gave up.

This kid’s self-guidance ability has reached S-rank. In the future, even if I hand him a scallion and call it a Holy Sword, he’ll probably come up with some grand leek sword techniques on his own.

“All right, Elent. These mentors are all a bit ill-tempered, so train by yourself under their loving guidance.”

Celia was about to slip away when the earth beneath her feet trembled again.

Because of her over-the-top fertilizer dump, the life energy radiating from this backyard was simply overwhelming.

To the hungry monsters at the edge of the Black Forest, this place was like a thousand-watt searchlight blazing in the darkness.

Or, a freshly cooked pot of braised pork.

“Rooaar—”

“Gugwaa—”

Countless greedy eyes lit up in the shadows of the distant woods.

A horde of Slimes, a few Goblins, and even quite a few Demonic Rabbits surged in from beyond the fence like a tide.

“Priestess, look out!”

Elent immediately gripped his sword and stood in front of Celia.

Looking at the teeming mass of monsters, Celia didn’t panic at all. Instead, she raised an eyebrow.

This scene—such déjà vu.

On one side, a tide of monsters charging forward on pure instinct; on the other, the newly planted magical plants.

Even though that crazy neighbor named Dave wasn’t here acting like a fool, she still couldn’t shake the feeling of a tower defense game.

Some kind of otherworldly Plants vs. Zombies.

Celia patted Elent’s tense shoulder.

“Don’t be nervous, Hero.”

“This isn’t an enemy attack—it’s teaching material sent for your mentors.”

Then, Celia brought out two more recliners from the house, dragged a thoroughly confused Lynn outside, and handed her a plate of freshly sliced Red Sun Fruit.

“Hero, the Trial is about to begin.”