I casually picked a flower and tucked it into my daughter’s short hair.
Her hair had just grown to her ears, making her already adorable round face look even more charming. It was a pale blue flower with six petals that shimmered like sapphires.
Si Zhizuo’s eyes darted around. “Mama, squat down.”
‘What does she… want to do?’
Feeling a bit puzzled, I slowly squatted beside her. The little girl picked another light pink flower, stood on her tiptoes, and tucked it into the center of my hair bun.
I blinked, startled. “Why are you giving me flowers?”
Si Zhizuo crossed her arms, speaking as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Who says Mama isn’t a young girl? You’re a beautiful little fairy, too, so of course you have to be pretty along with your daughter.”
“What ‘young girl’…” I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I touched the petals on my head, and a complex emotion suddenly surged in my heart. In the end, I didn’t take it off. “I’m already a mother who has given birth.”
Si Zhizuo pouted, completely disagreeing with that statement.
“Let’s go.” I took the little girl’s hand again. “Didn’t you want to see the fireflies? They should be a little further ahead.”
The sky was gradually darkening as the residual red of the setting sun prepared to leave the world. The temperature in the valley was dropping.
Breezes followed the reddening sun, swirling around my skirt and tangling in the crook of my arm. I looked at the clouds on the horizon, my thoughts drifting.
“Mama, you always smell so nice,” Si Zhizuo suddenly said. “It’s completely different from Zhizhi. I only smell like body wash.”
“You’ll be fragrant when you grow up, too,” I said casually, not really understanding the logic behind it.
Si Zhizuo looked up. “Will Zhizhi be as pretty as Mama when she grows up?”
I looked at her little face, which still hadn’t lost its baby fat. “You’ll definitely be prettier than me, and you’ll grow taller too.”
I lowered my head to look at my own arms, an unreadable emotion in my eyes.
Si Zhizuo pouted again. “But I think Mama is the prettiest.”
We reached the center of the valley.
As the sky grew darker, we could see many fireflies already dancing in the air. Most were high above, and since they hadn’t gathered in a large swarm yet, the sight wasn’t as breathtaking as imagined.
Two fireflies came darting toward us.
I subconsciously took two steps back, but Si Zhizuo caught the flash of emotion in my eyes. She pulled out a small net and handed one to me. “Mama, catch fireflies with me.”
“Mm.” Gripping the cold wood and looking at the countless insects before me, my expression grew even more strained. My grip tightened on the handle.
Si Zhizuo secretly performed a magic seal.
Countless brilliant fireflies began to converge toward the two people in the center. It was like a blossoming firework display—layer upon layer of starlight gradually forming a splendor comparable to the Milky Way. The flowing points of light were like the oil paints from a first childhood drawing, leaving an indelible mark on Si Zhizuo’s young soul.
My face went slightly pale.
I already disliked bugs, and now I was about to be rushed by countless of them. The intense visual impact even made me want to turn and flee.
Mother and daughter could sense each other’s subtle emotions. Si Zhizuo’s face froze for one second as a trembling suspicion entered her heart.
‘Does Mommy — hate bugs?’
This was a disaster. She really hadn’t known.
I forced myself to suppress my collapsing emotions and managed a gentle smile at the little girl. “Wait a little longer. They’re too far to catch right now. When they get closer, Mama will help you catch them.”
Darn it.
She had come here to make her mother happy. She didn’t come to see her mother endure discomfort for her sake.
The Firefly Plan was a complete failure. Si Zhizuo was busy condemning her own carelessness, her eyes already brimming with tears. The little girl turned her head away sadly, not wanting her mother to see her expression.
She secretly performed another seal, keeping the countless dancing fireflies at a certain distance from them. One could see the brilliant spectacle, but there was no way to get close.
I stood silently in the center of the clearing with the net. The sound of the wind nearby was quiet.
Si Zhizuo wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes, trying to cheer herself up.
It was okay. The Firefly Plan failed, but there were other, more perfect plans. The reason for this failure was that she had never truly understood her mother’s likes and dislikes. As long as she learned from this, she wouldn’t repeat the mistake next time.
“Mama.”
“Let’s go back.”
Si Zhizuo kept her head down. Her sudden suggestion left me a bit confused. I couldn’t see her little face clearly, so I put down the net and squatted in front of her, my voice full of concern. “Weren’t you having fun? Why do you suddenly want to go back?”
“Is it because Mama didn’t praise you?” I held her ice-cold little hand and leaned my head closer, coaxing her. “Mama really likes the flowers you gave me. Look, don’t I look prettier?”
Si Zhizuo bit her lip hard to keep her tears from falling.
I sighed and pulled her small body into a hug.
“Don’t cry.”
“Zhizhi is the strongest baby.”
“If you’re not having fun, we’ll just go back.”
“The fireflies aren’t going anywhere. We can come back tomorrow night. As long as you want to see them, Mama will accompany you anytime.”
Si Zhizuo’s voice was shaky, close to crying. “Does Mama… hate bugs?”
My body stiffened at her sudden question.
Hadn’t I hidden it well? How did this girl find out?
“Actually, I don’t hate them that much,” I said against my conscience.
Si Zhizuo made me stand up. she hugged my neck softly and buried her head in my shoulder, not wanting anyone to see her secretly crying. “Zhizhi doesn’t like bugs anymore either.”
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at her conclusion. “Why change your mind just because of me?”
“Mama is an adult. It’s not like I can’t overcome this. I’m not that delicate.”
“Mm, then Zhizhi doesn’t hate bugs, but I don’t want to catch them anymore either.”
From those childish words and the way she spoke, she really was just a child.
After coaxing Si Zhizuo for a while, I managed to stabilize her emotions. I played with her in the field of flowers for a bit longer, finally making her forget the little incident. Her face once again glowed with a heart-healing, sweet smile.
“Mama, what kind of flower is this?”
I thought about it seriously. “Mama doesn’t know the name either. I’m not omniscient. It might just be an unknown wildflower from the countryside.”
Si Zhizuo held it up in surprise. “A single one isn’t very pretty, but if you make a bouquet out of many of them, it becomes beautiful.”
I was surprised by her creative thinking and picked quite a few small flowers. Before the sky turned completely pitch black, we finally finished making a bouquet.
“I’m going to take this back and put it by my bed so I can see it every day.”
“It’s time to go back. We need to wake up early tomorrow.”
Thinking of tomorrow’s activities, Si Zhizuo became full of fighting spirit again. She secretly clenched her tiny fists, giving herself a silent pep talk.
*****
Late at night.
A figure appeared in the courtyard.
Zhizhi was curled up in Si Xinyan’s arms, fast asleep, but she suddenly opened her eyes. Her gaze collided with eyes that were staring at her through the darkness.
Su Liumeng?
She came back in the middle of the night—why wasn’t she coming inside?
Su Liumeng seemed to have only returned for a quick glance. She rubbed her brow tiredly and disappeared back into the night.
Si Zhizuo fell into deep thought.
The plan to reawaken the meaning of life for Mama… If it was just her alone, would it be too difficult to achieve?
Should she tell Su Liumeng and add one more person to the mission?
Si Zhizuo was hesitant, struggling against her internal feelings of rejection toward Su Liumeng.