Shangguan Xiyue’s head was spinning.
She couldn’t get over the whiplash from her deeply ingrained mental image—from the dependable, warm “big bro” in-game who always looked out for others…
To that petite, sweaty, barely-able-to-carry-a-suitcase delicate freshman girl.
How the hell could those two be the same person??
Reality really was a fanfiction rewrite of a novel—only wilder and more absurd.
The WeChat screen between them fell into total silence.
Two people.
Both trying to digest a mental bombshell in complete wordless horror.
【Bro.】
Shangguan Xiyue’s chaotic thoughts trembled at her fingertips.
Then she corrected herself:
【Wait. No—Sister…】
Shangguan Xiyue felt a full-blown internal meltdown coming on.
Her dude… her bro… the guy she’d called family for years…
Turned out to be a girl??
What the hell kind of catfishing case study was this??
She felt like she’d just been through an online romance scam, starring herself.
Never trust online relationships.
Online relationships kill.
The moment she remembered how she’d ranted and joked for years in front of such a proper-looking little freshman girl, she wanted to relocate permanently to Mars out of embarrassment.
And yet… the clues had been there all along:
Si Xinyan.
Jiu Yan.
(Nine Words / Yan God)
Shangguan Xiyue tugged hard at her own hair, trying to mentally reboot.
Right now, her entire brain was consumed with one mission:
Find Si Xinyan.
Pin her down.
Demand answers.
How the hell could you lie to me for years using a voice changer??
Then she got a message from me:
【How about… you just keep calling me “bro”?】
Honestly, I knew I’d messed up—
But this was the only “least horrible” solution I could come up with.
【……】
Shangguan Xiyue didn’t reply.
She just stood straight up from her chair, then took off like a sprinter.
To hell with it.
She was going to find that girl and confront her face-to-face.
Tackle her to the bed if needed.
*****
514 Dorm Room
After wrestling with my thoughts for a bit, I finally logged into my main account and joined the voice chat room.
The rich girl had paid a fortune, after all.
I couldn’t just leave her hanging.
【Wanna play a game?】
I typed that one line.
On the other end, Su Liumeng’s voice lit up like a firework.
“Is that you?? IS THAT YOU?? Yan God!!”
Her voice changed tones at least three times from pure excitement.
She already spoke with a natural softness.
Now, with all the excitement and a bit of a girlish squeak—
It was straight-up electric.
【It’s me.】
I typed back swiftly on the keyboard.
【Add me as a friend. I’ll duo queue with you.】
“Mm-hmm!” Su Liumeng nodded enthusiastically, headset on, already so excited she could barely speak.
Once the friend request was accepted, she stared at the #1 ranking on the global leaderboard.
Finally—she was absolutely sure: this really was the one and only Yan God she’d been dreaming about.
“Yan God, Yan God, I…”
Su Liumeng struggled for a while before finally squeezing out a soft confession:
“I’ve liked you for a really long time…”
Her voice was so quiet that I, deeply immersed in the game, didn’t hear a thing.
【Hmm? What did you say just now?】
My fingers flew across the keyboard so fast they practically left afterimages.
That one line?
Took me one second flat—barely a dent in my gameplay.
Su Liumeng, being a young girl after all, immediately blushed bright red.
There was no way she could say that kind of thing a second time.
She felt like she was about to crush her mouse out of sheer nervousness.
Aaaaahhh, I’m so tense I could explode!!
“Y-Yan God, why aren’t you talking to me?” she finally mustered the courage to ask.
She wouldn’t normally dare, but then she remembered:
She paid for this!
With that thought, she went from meek to meekly self-righteous.
【Caught a cold. My throat hasn’t recovered yet—can’t speak right now.】
That was a lie I’d prepared long in advance.
If the rich girl client found out that her idol “Yan God” was actually the same girl she just fought with in voice chat—
Boom.
Career over.
Say what you want, bicker all you like—but making money comes first.
My professionalism was maxed out. I didn’t even care that she had just argued with me a few hours ago.
Su Liumeng gradually calmed down and got less jittery.
Then she casually, oh-so-innocently asked, “Yan God… that girl in the voice chat earlier… what’s your relationship with her?”
She quickly reassured herself—I’m the one who paid, I’m totally allowed to ask about this!
Why shouldn’t a rich, paying client like herself be entitled to a couple of harmless questions?
With that thought, she sat up straighter, feeling way more justified in her nosiness.
I paused to carefully consider how to reply.
【Not that close.】
And that wasn’t even a lie.
After all, how close can you be… to yourself?
I still wasn’t used to this body.
Every time I showered, I couldn’t even bring myself to look too closely—
Let alone “get to know it better.”
Su Liumeng let out a long sigh of relief.
“Not that close”? That’s perfect!
In an instant, all her worries vanished.
Her bottled-up chatter finally spilled out like a floodgate opening.
“Yan God, Yan God, you have no idea how annoying that girl I ran into in the voice chat was just now.”
“Hmph! Good thing she finally realized her place and backed off!”
But the moment she remembered that final line, her cheeks started to flush again for no reason.
“Your husband is yours.”
She had to admit—that line hit her right in the feels.
Only when she was alone would she dare to let loose and squeal about it.
In front of Yan God, though, she’d instantly shrivel up like a quail.
Meanwhile, my hand froze on the mouse.
What am I supposed to say to that?
I mean—was I supposed to start badmouthing myself?
Luckily, Su Liumeng didn’t seem the type to hold grudges.
She moved on quickly and didn’t bring it up again.
I kept laser-focused while gaming, totally immersed, headset on—
Which is probably why I didn’t notice someone standing behind me.
Three games flew by in no time.
Each match was a complete stomp—pure domination.
Su Liumeng, for the first time in her gaming life, experienced the bliss of being carried to victory.
Just looting high-level gear was enough to send her over the moon.
No wonder they call you Yan God…
【Let’s play again next time.】
“Mm-hmm!” she chirped.
A true gamer girl to the core, Su Liumeng had now completely surrendered to Yan God’s gameplay skills.
Her big sparkly eyes were practically radiating pink anime bubbles.
No… I need a picture of Yan God. I’ll print it and pin it to my wall to worship daily!
Once she logged off, the very first thing she did was head to her secret diary space, where she eagerly wrote a gushy post sharing today’s amazing experience.
Chin on her desk, lips pursed, she started daydreaming:
What would Yan God look like in real life?
I can’t wait to meet them someday…
At that moment, the only thing filling this rich girl’s head was:
How do I meet Yan God in person?
*****
I had just taken off my headset when suddenly a shadow loomed over me.
I jumped in surprise.
“Who’s there?!”
Before I could finish, someone suddenly grabbed me by the head, spun me around, and pinned me facedown on the desk.
I let out a grunt of shock—my long, slender white legs now dangling helplessly in mid-air.
“W-Wait, let’s talk about this calmly! Why are you pinning me to the desk?!”
“Hmph. Oh, I’ll talk alright,” a voice snarled.
“You dare lie to me for all these years?!”
It was Shangguan Xiyue.
She had been holding back this whole time, waiting for me to finish gaming—and now she was finally here to unleash her righteous fury.
My baby-fat cheeks were squished every which way in her hands—like a soft, squishable mochi ball.
“Come on, say it—do you know what you did wrong? Still dare to use a voice changer?”
“Wrong… mm, I was wrong!”
“And? Still dare to lie to me?”
“Mmm… no more! I won’t lie again!”
After that little scuffle, Shangguan Xiyue’s pent-up anger had mostly dissipated.
As for me?
I’d been thoroughly manhandled—my cheeks flushed pink, my hair a tousled mess on either side, and my eyes, now shimmering and watery with irritation, made me look like a delicate flower bud just about to bloom.
Shangguan Xiyue looked down at the soft, ruffled girl in front of her.
In her mind, she involuntarily recalled the image of the same girl from yesterday—dragging a heavy suitcase all alone, refusing anyone’s help, exuding that quietly determined strength.
The sharp contrast between the two sides of me hit her like a truck.
Her single-for-a-thousand-years heart skipped a beat.
Turns out… even the strongest girls… still squish soft when you get your hands on them.
As she stared at my increasingly cute and expressive little face, a sudden urge welled up inside her again—she couldn’t resist the temptation to give me a few more squishes.
Finally—I’d had enough.
I slapped her mischievous hand away with my own little palm.
Then I turned around and crossed my arms in fake anger, rolling my eyes dramatically.
Shangguan Xiyue smoothed down the messy hair she’d just caused.
“Okay, okay~ no more face-pinching.”
Then she leaned closer, eyes glinting as she changed the subject.
“Enough horsing around. So? How’d it go with the rich girl?”
I tilted my head slightly, thinking about the in-game session.
“It was… fine, I guess?”
Just remembering that sweet twenty-five thousand transfer made my legs start to swing happily from the desk.
I was over the moon.
Shangguan Xiyue and I had known each other for years—we both understood the other’s temperament well.
Unless someone crossed a serious line, we’d never actually get mad at each other.
“What’s the rich girl’s real name?”
I tilted my head again, that overly familiar voice still echoing in my mind.
Something about it… gave me the strangest déjà vu.
No way the world is that small, right?
No way…
But before I could reason it out any further, I quickly shut that thought down.
Su Liumeng?
That explosive-tempered hellcat?
No matter how many lifetimes she reincarnates, I refuse to believe she’d be the one going ‘gege~’ in a soft, syrupy voice!
I sighed at how ridiculous my own imagination could get, then shoved the thought aside.
Shangguan Xiyue, oblivious to how my entire body had frozen stiff, replied casually:
“Her name’s Su Liumeng—Miss Su from the Su family. You haven’t heard of her?”
Her words dropped like a ten-thousand-ton sledgehammer, shattering my earlier denial and smashing my heart into smithereens.
Shangguan Xiyue didn’t notice the sudden rigidity in my posture.
Instead, she leaned over with a mischievous glint in her eye, teasing me playfully.
“Bro~ you smell so good~”
“Your hands are so tiny~ Wanna compare with mine?”
This kind of situation was exactly what she’d imagined during a hypothetical face-to-face meetup.
And even though the “bro” she used to dream about had apparently changed genders—
she found it all even more exciting this way.
After all—they were battle-tested bros through thick and thin.