Fortunately, Ye Xingmian’s body was somewhat weak, but having gone through it once before, she had developed some resistance and didn’t catch it.
She had also been wearing enough clothes these days, possibly because she had a cold before. But hearing that voice, a sense of unease gradually spread in her heart.
She pursed her lips, dismissing it as overthinking.
Notably, after a while, her deskmate, Lin Ziyan, entered the classroom too.
But Lin Ziyan was frowning, as if somewhat dissatisfied.
As soon as she sat down, she demanded of Ye Xingmian.
“Hey, why did you come to school without telling me?”
“Mm… did you have breakfast?” Ye Xingmian had no desire to talk.
“Yes, I did. I’m talking to you!”
“Nothing, I just wanted to walk by myself.”
Lin Ziyan could see that Ye Xingmian was brushing her off, so she stopped being a nuisance and turned away to do her own thing.
They waited like this until class started, but the person Ye Xingmian was expecting still hadn’t come.
She finally realized something was wrong.
The class monitor had never been late. If she was late, there must be a special reason…
Sure enough, after the homeroom teacher arrived, he first tidied the podium, then cleared his throat.
“Today, the class monitor is taking sick leave, and her duties will be handled by the vice monitor. Don’t forget to collect the homework after class. I’ll approve the sick leave.”
The homeroom teacher’s expression turned serious.
“The weather has turned cold these past two days. Everyone must keep warm. If you feel unwell, come to my office to find me.”
“Alright, let’s start class.”
“Okay,” the female student who was the vice monitor responded after being called.
The class monitor… Liu Yinuo… she’s on leave?
***
After enduring the whole day, Ye Xingmian knew all too well the feeling of aching all over and being weak.
She wondered if Liu Yinuo felt the same… If she had a cold, it must be very uncomfortable. After all, she had previously endured a high fever…
Should she go visit her at home after school? But maybe it wasn’t necessary… after all, she had her parents to take care of her, and if she went… who would take care of whom was uncertain.
The idea of visiting Liu Yinuo was ultimately suppressed by Ye Xingmian’s inferiority complex.
But the hope she had held all morning of meeting Liu Yinuo at school was dashed. She felt empty inside, very uncomfortable.
Come to think of it, there seemed to be a physical education class today… For some reason, she felt inexplicably worried.
But tomorrow was the weekend. Visiting her then, that should be fine, right?
“What are you thinking about?”
Suddenly, a hand waved in front of her eyes. Ye Xingmian was startled and snapped back to reality. She turned her head and saw Lin Ziyan frowning.
“What’s wrong…”
Her voice sounded a bit dull and disappointed.
“I just saw you spacing out, not listening to class. What are you thinking?”
Was she probing her thoughts? Or did Lin Ziyan already have an answer and just wanted to confirm? Ye Xingmian didn’t know.
“Nothing… I’m just worried because the homeroom teacher said the class monitor is sick…”
“Are you concerned about her?”
For some reason, Lin Ziyan’s tone suddenly rose by several pitches, and she quietly clenched her fists.
But Ye Xingmian didn’t notice her abnormality, still immersed in her own world.
“Mm.”
“Why? Are you deliberately trying to anger me? You know I hate her! Don’t tell me you purposely came to school alone behind my back just to find her!”
Ye Xingmian suddenly fell silent.
She quietly turned her head to look at Lin Ziyan, her eyes revealing no particular emotion—at most, a hint of indifference.
It was a kind of apathy, an emotion that didn’t care about the other person’s reaction.
And what Lin Ziyan felt was outright contempt…
She didn’t speak, but it was as if she had said everything. Silently, she turned back to face the blackboard, no longer paying attention to Lin Ziyan’s reaction.
To Lin Ziyan, the meaning of all this was already clear—
‘Yes, I came to school behind your back just to find her. I care about her very much. What can you do even if you know?’
Yes, even without any words, that’s exactly what Ye Xingmian was expressing.
It was simply… disregard! Lin Ziyan thought through gritted teeth.
Words could not describe the anger in her chest at that moment. She had worked so hard to change, put in so much effort, only to get this kind of attitude.
It was as if, in Ye Xingmian’s heart, the gap between her and Liu Yinuo was as vast as the gap between a human and a dog.
And a dog, no matter how fawning or hardworking, could never catch up to the status of a human.
With that thought, Lin Ziyan’s powder keg of emotions exploded.
Everything she had done was meaningless, because that “sacred position” had already been taken long before.
So what could she do? What else could she do?
Change her attitude? Go back to the way she used to be, treating Ye Xingmian roughly?
No… no. Her change wasn’t to gain status in Ye Xingmian’s heart. Her initial goal was simply to make up for her actions through her own deeds, to ease her conscience.
From that perspective, she didn’t need Ye Xingmian’s gratitude.
But why… why did it end up like this?
Why did she suddenly care so much about Ye Xingmian’s attitude, feel so jealous of Liu Yinuo, to the point of reaching this state?
She didn’t understand, didn’t know.
Feeling her heart, she suddenly realized she couldn’t read it anymore.
After all, what was her attitude toward Ye Xingmian? Did she see her as a playmate? A family member? Was she her elder sister? Younger sister? Or just someone she needed to make amends to?
What were her feelings for her? Guilt? Pity? Or something else?
What did she… ultimately want to gain? Or rather, what did she want to get from her?
She couldn’t say. Every question was hard for her to answer. It was like being in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by thick fog, unable to see her hand in front of her, unable to discern any direction or goal.
Taking a deep breath, suppressing the inexplicable impulses in her heart, she suddenly realized…
There was no point in lying to herself anymore.
She did seem to have some special feelings for Ye Xingmian.
Not just as a playmate or someone she needed to make amends to, but a desire to get close, to spend every night together, to feel that warm and cozy sensation.
Spoiled as she was, she naturally couldn’t distinguish what it was.
But that didn’t matter. What mattered was that she had finally sorted out her course of action…
She had to keep Ye Xingmian by her side.
No matter what it took.
As gentle as possible, yet as forceful as necessary.
To take what she wanted.
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