Jiang Lai trembled when she heard Chi Yingyu talk about herself like that. The tears that had only wetted the corners of her eyes before now kept pouring out, sliding down her cheeks.
“Yingyu, you are not a substitute at all, you are yourself, you are my most important family—Chi Yingyu. I’ve never thought of you that way.”
Although Chi Yingyu had a face similar to his late wife, Jiang Lai had always kept the two clearly distinct in his heart. He had never confused them or overlapped one with the other. Chi Yingyu was simply herself—unique and irreplaceable.
Jiang Lai couldn’t understand why Chi Yingyu would think of herself that way. He glanced at the door, then looked at his tear-streaked sister-in-law. As if using up all his strength, he sat down again on the bed, reaching out to gently cup her face, clumsily wiping away the tracks of her tears with his fingertips.
“Yingyu, tell me, from the first time your sister brought me home until now, how many years have we known each other?”
“Twenty years…”
Chi Yingyu remembered all of this clearly, but she couldn’t understand why her brother-in-law would bring up these things now.
Jiang Lai softly stroked Chi Yingyu’s smooth hair, and with his other hand, pulled the quilt back up over her.
“At that time, your sister and I were still at university. Do you remember the first time your sister brought me home?”
Chi Yingyu nodded gently. She remembered.
But ever since her sister passed away, she never dared mention anything about the past. Even if it came up, she would try her best to avoid talking about her sister, never wanting to touch upon her brother-in-law’s deepest wounds.
Yet she remembered everything from the past vividly, branded deeply into her memory. The first time she met her brother-in-law, she herself was still in Primary School—looking back now, her behavior was quite mischievous.
It was the summer after Chi Yingyu graduated from Primary School that her brother-in-law and sister held their Wedding.
She still remembered that day at the Wedding so clearly. Her sister told her about how her brother-in-law had proposed.
The usually awkward and reserved brother-in-law chose to propose to her sister at their university graduation ceremony—something that even her sister hadn’t expected.
A big part of why Chi Yingyu was so enamored with Jiang Lai was because her sister had always shared stories about the things that happened between the two of them.
Back then, Chi Yingyu’s thoughts were so simple—not just because she was young, but because her sister and brother-in-law seemed to her like a match made in heaven.
Everything about them was so perfect.
In her first year of Middle School, the anniversary of her sister and brother-in-law’s Wedding, her sister became pregnant with Leyi. Back then, all Chi Yingyu thought about was whether the baby in her sister’s belly would look more like her sister or her brother-in-law.
Those years were the happiest of Chi Yingyu’s life—Jiang Leyi’s birth, her sister and brother-in-law’s thriving careers, everything was wonderful.
But the happier things are, the more fate seems to play tricks. Just when Jiang Leyi had barely learned to speak and the future seemed bright, her sister left them forever, and everything that had been happy changed.
From then on, throughout the years Chi Yingyu spent accompanying Jiang Lai, her mindset changed dramatically. Once, she believed her sister and brother-in-law were truly made for each other, but now, she had to take her brother-in-law away from her sister.
How could she possibly forget everything that happened in the past?
“How could I possibly forget the past?”
“Back then, I wondered—how could sisters be so different? Yingyu, you were lively and cheerful then, like a little sun. I still remember the smile on your face from back then.”
But after your sister passed away, the smile of that still-underaged girl disappeared from your face. It’s my fault, I didn’t give you a good life.
Jiang Lai was lost in memories, a wave of confusion washing over his heart. Looking back now, he wondered how he had even gotten through those days. If only he’d been more capable, everyone around him might have lived a better life.
“I’ve owed you a thank you for a long time. If not for you, I don’t know what my life would have become…
To me, you are not anyone’s substitute. Don’t even think of becoming a substitute for anyone else. You are you, my most important Chi Yingyu. Whatever you want, I’ll do everything I can to give it to you.
Because I love you… You’ve long held a place in my heart that I could never let go, no matter what happens, you’ll always be there.
In my heart, not even my daughter is as important as you. But you know, the love I’m talking about now isn’t the same as what you’re imagining—there are many kinds of human affection.
Don’t people always debate which is most important: family, friendship, or romantic love?
For me, family is without a doubt the most important. And you, Yingyu, you are number one among my family. You are someone I could never let go of in this life. Can’t we really just be together as a happy family, like we used to?”
Jiang Lai felt that his very nature was entirely in Chi Yingyu’s hands. No matter what outrageous thing his sister-in-law did, all those decades of memories in his mind were like countless get-out-of-jail-free cards she could use over and over.
“But what I want isn’t just that. Only when I completely have you can I be at peace…”
Jiang Lai could sense the fear and unease in Chi Yingyu at this moment. But why did his sister-in-law have such intense insecurity?
He didn’t know how else to explain his feelings to her. He’d said it so many times, revealing just how important she was in his heart.
Not even his daughter could compare to her. She was his most important family—someone he could never ignore, never even think of leaving.
He truly didn’t understand what made Chi Yingyu so uneasy, what left her without a sense of security. He had made so many promises—he would never be with anyone else, he would remove romance from his future life and leave only family affection.
But even with all these promises, Jiang Lai could still feel a deep, overwhelming anxiety in his sister-in-law.
“What is it that makes you so uneasy? Is it Xu Ruobing? If you’re worried I’ll be with her, then tomorrow morning, the three of us will talk face to face and clear everything up.”
“No need, I trust you on that, brother-in-law… But I still feel so uneasy in my heart. I’m really scared, so scared that one day there won’t be a place for me in your heart…”
Chi Yingyu’s tears were already streaming, but now even more came, unstoppable. She clutched her blanket tight in sadness, almost sobbing as she called out Jiang Lai’s name.
Jiang Lai looked at Chi Yingyu, her face a mess of tears, heart aching for her. He pulled her into his arms and gently held her hands, responding to every call she made. “What’s wrong? I’m always here. What are you afraid of? Tell me, alright? I’ll help you with anything.”
“No, no, this is something that can never be solved.”
Chi Yingyu let go of the blanket and buried herself in Jiang Lai’s arms, sobbing and choking on her cries, seeking comfort in her brother-in-law’s embrace.
Right now, her brother-in-law could still tell her she was his most important person, but that was only for now. If her sister ever came back, if her brother-in-law learned that her sister was still alive—
Then, no matter how many days she spent by his side, she would still end up just a fleeting shadow.