At the foot of Longhu Mountain, the air buzzed with voices.
People flocked in endless streams to offer incense and pray for blessings.
An elder in Daoist robes walked step by step down the mountain peak.
The endless staircase, teeming with travelers making their way up, seemed not to notice his presence at all.
Halfway down, the old man suddenly stopped, formed a hand seal with one hand, and gazed into the distance.
“I cannot divine it.”
“Heaven’s Will may know all, but even it has its blind spots.”
“The rules grant it omniscience, but those very rules can blind its eyes.”
“As long as I can make Heaven’s Will completely give up its surveillance, the disaster of Heaven’s Wrath can be avoided at its root.”
“But all of this—can’t escape my eyes.”
Standing with hands clasped behind his back, youthful-faced with white hair like a crane, he looked every bit the immortal sage, his robes fluttering in the wind.
“All living things in this world, as long as they have existed, leave some kind of trace.”
“Even if you left no trace at all, you must have interacted with others.”
“If I cannot deduce your location, I can still deduce those near you.”
After a while, he suddenly lifted his head, his eyes flickering, “A rough location, same as the place of Heaven’s Wrath—it’s within the Second Ring of Jing City.”
“No matter how monstrous a child may be, it can’t change the fact that your mother is just an ordinary person.”
“The ancients said, take one’s life while they are ill.”
“This is my opportunity.”
“If you want to blame someone, blame your own fate.”
How could he refuse a chance bestowed from the heavens?
A prodigy whose true soul is still ignorant—right now, in his eyes, she was a prize already within reach.
*****
Inside the Beiqing campus.
Even though I hadn’t come to campus for a long time, there were still people who recognized me at a glance.
My appearance was just too memorable.
No matter if someone is extremely beautiful or strikingly ugly, they always leave a long-lasting impression.
“Junior, are you the campus belle who won the vote this year and then vanished from sight?” A not-so-tall senior sister spotted me and said excitedly.
“When… was I ever the campus belle again?”
Shangguan Xiyue laughed, “You weren’t on campus, but your stories kept spreading. During the last campus belle election, Su Liumeng put up your photo. You took first place in a landslide.”
I bit my lip, my face unreadable, “Did Su Liumeng put up her own photo?”
Of course she didn’t.
Otherwise, whether I could win first place would be another question entirely.
Back then, I already had Zhizhi.
When it comes to innocence, I could never compare to Su Liumeng.
Her votes would surely be even higher.
“No, she didn’t.” Shangguan Xiyue’s brows twitched.
Was it just her imagination?
Why did she feel like someone was in for it?
“Only my photo, huh… I see.” I had an expression of ‘as expected’, a faint smile on my lips, my small hand tightening secretly at my side, “Still, I have to thank Su Liumeng. My darling always cares for me, she knew to fight for honor for me.”
You… better pray for yourself, Shangguan Xiyue’s eyelids twitched a few times.
Once Si Xinyan gets angry, even Shangguan Xiyue dared not provoke her.
Let’s head to the Academic Affairs Office.
At the office window, I unexpectedly ran into someone familiar.
It was the bespectacled junior who often sat next to me. When she saw me carrying my daughter, she adjusted her glasses, surprise flashing in her eyes.
“Si, long time no see… You’re even more beautiful. Is this your daughter?”
“Yes, my daughter. She’s almost five months old now.”
“Zhizhi, Auntie is talking to you. Say hi to Auntie.” I gently rocked my daughter.
She reached out her little hand with a babbled sound, waving half-heartedly.
Those soft, chubby hands, that adorable little face—she hit all the bespectacled girl’s soft spots. Stars nearly sparkled in her eyes. “So cute! Can Auntie hold her?”
I smiled, “She’s a bit wary of strangers, she might not like being held.”
“So sad.” The bespectacled girl suddenly remembered something, “By the way, are you still with Miss Su?” As one of the earliest shippers of this couple, she cared the most about their relationship status.
“Still together. We’ve been married for nearly a year.” I waved Zhizhi’s tiny hand, “Did you hear that, Auntie’s calling you cute.”
I had no idea which three words in her sentence touched the little one’s reverse scale—her face almost spelled out the word ‘unhappy’, she twisted her little head, burying half her body in Mama’s chest, wanting nothing more to do with anyone else.
I gave an awkward smile, “She’s probably a bit sleepy.”
Suddenly unhappy.
It can’t be just from hearing ‘Su Liumeng’, right?
After the small talk ended, I looked at the withdrawal application, emotion swirling in my eyes, and signed my name in the bottom right corner.
With the official school stamp, my life as a student officially ended.
“Regretful?” Shangguan Xiyue noticed I wasn’t in high spirits. “Want to get hotpot?”
“I’m alright.” I pursed my lips, the murkiness in my eyes making it impossible for others to read me.
“Not really regretful, just a little melancholy.”
“I was thinking, about the meaning of my own life.”
“Maybe my life never had any meaning to begin with.”
“I used to want to live for myself…”
“And now?” Shangguan Xiyue pressed on.
I held my daughter even tighter.
The unsaid words splintered into scattered thoughts.
“If I have to say more, it’s just about being content or not content.”
My gaze was a blur as I looked at Shangguan Xiyue before me, gently holding my daughter’s tiny hand. “Maomao, you’ve known me a long time. You know what kind of person I am.”
“I’m not always content either.”
Shangguan Xiyue’s mind buzzed as she watched the growing sorrow in the girl’s eyes, as if struck by something.
That’s right.
Her Xiaoyan had never been less than anyone.
No matter what she did, she always wanted to be the very best.
How could she ever become someone else’s shadow, an appendage whose name always came with another’s as a prefix?
I patted Shangguan Xiyue’s shoulder, knowing her mood was more chaotic than mine. “Fate is just this helpless sometimes.”
“Destiny is me.”
“And also not me.”
Shangguan Xiyue watched the girl’s departing figure. “Xiaoyan, what do you plan to do next?”
“Try to live a few more years, spend more time with my daughter.” I paused my steps.
“I’m asking about you—what do you want for yourself?”
“I want to hear your plans for your own life, not just goals about other people.” Shangguan Xiyue was stubborn, determined to get a real answer.
Because she knew—
The Xiaoyan she knew must have other thoughts.
I suddenly turned, my eyes serious as I stared at her. “Who would’ve thought, there’d be someone who always puts my life in first place. Maomao, meeting you, being treated as a friend by you—I feel lucky.”
I pressed my lips together, gathering my words. “My own life plan…”
“I actually have one.”
“It’s just that no one ever asked before. Over time… I stopped bringing it up myself.”
Shangguan Xiyue watched the girl’s face grow calm and quiet, listening intently to her next words.
“I want to become strong too. I don’t want to be someone who always stands at the back, protected by others.”
“Su Liumeng always says I’m weak and fragile, wanting to hold me in her palms and cherish me. Every time I hear that, I’m not only happy, but also deeply disappointed.”
“Who wants their name to be tied to words like ‘weak and fragile’, to be called a delicate little flower?”
“Maomao, I once told you I’d protect you.”
“That protection—I want to give it myself, not borrow anyone else’s strength.”
“I want to stand by Su Liumeng’s side, to stand tall with her, to fight side by side with her and become a pair that others envy, a matchless, talented couple.”
“I want even more to be the strong support for my daughter, so others will envy and be jealous of her, just because she is my daughter.”
“I want her to grow up safe, healthy, and carefree.”
“All of this depends on my own strength.”
“More importantly, I want to make my life more meaningful, so that in the years to come, when people mention my name, it’s a word that stands alone, not just as Su Liumeng’s wife, or Si Zhuangyu’s mother, or Shangguan Xiyue’s sister, appearing only in sentences like those.”