Chapter 130: Dissolve: His Last Choice

Every time I listened to this song, it felt like it was telling my story.

At the touch of Yoon Jooho’s hand brushing through his hair, neck, and cheek, memories floated up—days when I’d rise gently only to crumble under harsh words again and again.

I used to mock myself for reading too much into something as trivial as him finding and listening to the song I told him about on his own, optimistically believing his heart leaned toward me.

But at this moment, just knowing he wore that watch again made my heart melt once more.

Because I knew it was Yoon Jooho’s own way of extending a gesture of reconciliation.

Listening to the languid, slow melody, Yoon Jooho flicked the ash off his cigarette and finally spoke.

“I told you—I can’t explain, can’t make you understand. That’s why it never worked out before.”

“I didn’t realize you were this bad at it.”

“I’m Yoon Jooho. Shouldn’t you have some idea how bad I am since it never worked out?”

“Because sex felt animalistic, so I dumped you.”

At Song Hyunsoo’s sulky mutter, Yoon Jooho chuckled. Then, resting his head against the headrest, he turned toward me.

“I’ve never heard you complain about that, though.”

His face faintly reflected the neon sign’s light—captivating, yet I now understood it held a venom of its own.

Could he act out Baek Kang’s pure-heartedness but never truly be Baek Kang?

When Song Hyunsoo didn’t respond to the joke, Yoon Jooho lifted his upper body off the seat and tapped his cigarette into the ashtray.

“How am I supposed to get you to come inside?”

“……”

“Is it really impossible?”

“……”

“Even if it hurts so much you think you’ll die, just like you said?”

“……”

It was an unexpected curveball.

Frozen, cigarette balanced between his fingers, Song Hyunsoo stared intently at Yoon Jooho’s face.

There was no way Yoon Jooho would say lines like this in real life.

And yet, his face bore a desperate sincerity so painful it felt almost unbearable.

It was like a scene from a movie—something that shouldn’t be possible.

But the surprise didn’t end there.

“I threw that box away.”

“……”

“I also got rid of the Escalade.”

“Why the Escalade?”

“I reordered a new model.”

“So why? You’re wasting a perfectly good car…”

As he spoke, Song Hyunsoo suddenly realized: he had done the same with the Escalade and ‘that person.’

Watching Song Hyunsoo’s expression shift, Yoon Jooho didn’t look away. His gaze was steady and unwavering, as if to confirm the accuracy of the assumption.

But this time, there was no jealousy.

Yoon Jooho was trying his best in his own way.

Even if I couldn’t understand it with my heart, at least my mind recognized he was learning, adapting.

More than any words or actions he’d shown before, this felt like a clear declaration.

“Why… go to such lengths?”

My voice trembled with the question.

We’re not even married, as you said.

There’s no responsibility or obligation between us.

Why do all that?

In an alley softly lit by a few neon signs, Yoon Jooho hunched his back and looked my way.

“Removing traces of the past. It’s the least you can do for the one you’re with now.”

“……”

I couldn’t grasp his words.

Still, every cell in my body started to rage.

I shivered several times behind my ear.

Yoon Jooho stubbed out his cigarette, then took the butt from my hand.

Only then did I realize the cigarette in my hand was about to drop its ash.

His right hand reached out and cupped my cheek.

“You said I’d be different. You promised to fix me.”

His thumb swept across my cheek—not gentle, but trying to be soft.

It was the touch of Yoon Jooho I knew.

He wiped the tears away, and only then did I realize they had been falling.

“I only ever make you cry.”

His voice was self-deprecating, as if at a loss.

Frozen the whole time, I shook my head repeatedly and wiped away the tears with my own hand.

“They’re tears of joy, so don’t worry about them.”

“I’m gonna hurt you again, though. I’m defective.”

“That’s not true…”

“But I need you.”

“……”

“No matter how much I act like an asshole, don’t give up. Fix me while I’m beside you.”

How selfishly straightforward he was.

Yet, at the same time, it was the most Yoon Jooho confession ever.

He wasn’t the type to spout empty promises like “I’ll make you happy,” or “I won’t make you cry anymore”—those sweet lies he couldn’t keep.

“I may cry and make a fuss, but I’m not naive enough to think you don’t mean it.”

I wrapped my hand around the arm cradling my cheek.

“We’ll fight like hell, make up passionately, and things will work out between us.”

“Yeah, they will. But promise me—you won’t leave.”

“R-right now?”

“Yes.”

Yoon Jooho’s eyes were endlessly serious.

At the moment of confessing to date, he looked almost anxious about how things might end.

It was probably because everything before had gone so badly.

“You were an asshole from the start.

If I was going to leave because of that, I would have already gone.

And I already told you.”

“Told me what?”

“That I wouldn’t hate you.

I wouldn’t betray you.”

Yoon Jooho’s face softened from the seriousness, a faint smile touching his lips.

Then he pinched my cheek lightly.

It wasn’t the kind of touch a close older brother uses with a younger sibling.

It was an intimate contact, so thrilling it made my shoulders tense.

He turned his body fully toward me, and the hand on my cheek moved to the back of my neck.

Pressing our foreheads together, he gently brushed the skin at the nape with his thumb.

“Come inside. Monroe’s waiting.”

“Hyunsoo.”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t use Monroe as an excuse.”

“Don’t expect too much all at once.”

“Hyunsoo.”

“Yeah?”

“…I’m sorry too.”

Yoon Jooho smiled like a gentle breeze.

Then his lips, a bit rougher than usual, covered my breath.

Our first kiss as lovers.

■

Just a few hours ago, this was the house I left.

But when I turned on the light at the door, it felt awkward, like I’d come back after months away.

Maybe because I opened the door with Yoon Jooho.

Or maybe because we were now lovers.

I was in a completely different position than the moment I walked out earlier.

Like the first day I came here, Yoon Jooho paced in the middle of the room.

He really is dating me now.

Even though I didn’t quite believe it yet, I kept smiling as I watched his back.

I laughed softly with bitten lips and rubbed the back of my neck before heading back to the kitchen.

I pulled out the bundle of Shopping Bags I’d collected behind the fridge and handed a few to Yoon Jooho.

“Hyunsoo, here.”

“What am I supposed to do with these?”

“Put all the clothes hanging on the right side of the second floor in here. They’re the ones you wear often.”

I nodded toward the hangar, and Yoon Jooho took the bags without complaint, heading over to start removing T-shirts and sweatshirts from the hangers.

I started sorting through the items on the desk from the opposite side.

Without even taking off his coat, the two of us rummaging around the room felt like burglars.

Grinning at the thought, I tossed scripts, transcription books, the Cat Notebook, ballpoint pen sets, phone holders, a few acting theory books, and other items haphazardly into the Shopping Bags.

“Today.”

“Huh?”

“You didn’t wear this because of the protest, right?”

I turned at Yoon Jooho’s voice.

He tugged at the sleeve of his orange padded jacket and looked at me.

I wrinkled my nose and looked away.

“More than protest… I wondered if it was okay to wear it after fighting like that.”

“What’s wrong with that? It’s yours. Or were you going to pack everything up and send it back too?”

“……”

At that moment, Yoon Jooho’s face looked like a child whose heart had just been rejected.

He seemed pitiful, just like my grandmother once said.

For him, I forced a bright smile and shrugged as if it was nothing.

“No, why would I do that? We just fought, that’s all.”

Yoon Jooho nodded, smiled faintly, and started roughly folding the padded jacket on the hanger.

“Pack only what you really need. Most things are already here.”

“Got it.”

“Are those really necessary?”

I brought the rabbit slippers I’d taken off by the door and was about to stuff them into the Shopping Bag when Yoon Jooho’s incredulous voice stopped me.

I looked up and saw him holding the hangar, looking down at me with a scornful expression.

“No… they’re warm. But yeah, your place isn’t cold, so you probably don’t need them.”

With a defeated expression, I pulled the slippers back out, and above my head came a resigned sigh.

“If you want to take them, just do it.”

He’s giving in because I want to.

Honestly, though my mouth’s a bit sour, he usually treats me really well.

If Yoon Jooho isn’t a perfect 100-point boyfriend, he’s definitely a 99.

Thinking that, I shoved the rabbit slippers into the already full Shopping Bag.

I’m Yoon Jooho’s boyfriend.

His first boyfriend, even though Yoon Jooho said he doesn’t date men.

No matter how hard I press my lips together and bite down, a smile breaks out and my cheeks twitch.