Lin Ziyan ran all the way back to her bedroom.
She gasped for breath, trembling as she took off her schoolbag and collapsed onto the bed. Her heart pounded violently, as if even it couldn’t believe such a truth.
Why… why? How could this be…
Her own home… why did it have such a secret, such a filthy past?
The home she depended on for survival, the parents she trusted implicitly… liars…!
Her fingertips clenched the bedsheet tightly, then went limp and released. Lying on her back, she stared blankly at the ceiling, tears sliding down her cheeks onto the sheet.
It was like a terrifying nightmare. The family she relied on was actually built on lies. Her kind, gentle parents were fake, were liars; her own superiority was fake, nothing more than her parents’ preferential treatment.
Only Ye Xingmian’s words back then were true, and the excessive things she had done to Ye Xingmian were also true.
How could this be… why was it like this…
She buried her face in the bedsheet, blocking out all sound from outside, until she was so stifled she couldn’t breathe, then raised her head to look out the window. On the dark road illuminated by streetlights, a few cars roared past.
It hurts… it hurts so much…
Her spirit was more fragile than ever before. If she weren’t Lin Ziyan, but Ye Xingmian—if their identities were swapped, would her parents still be so good to her? Would they still indulge her unconditionally? Would they still forgive her willfulness?
Even the academic achievements she was so proud of, which she always thought were because she was smarter than Ye Xingmian, allowing her to step all over the other girl…
If their identities were swapped, if she had to face endless household chores, family cold violence, and bullying from classmates every day… could she still achieve the grades Ye Xingmian had now?
She didn’t know.
She had never thought about it before, but now, just putting herself in that position a little, she felt that kind of life was enough to drive anyone mad. Perhaps she wouldn’t last a few months before breaking down, even falling into despair.
Ye Xingmian… just what kind of willpower did she have? How did she persevere?
Only by putting herself in the other’s shoes could she realize how excessive her own actions had been.
Her arm moved, unconsciously bumping into something.
She lifted her head, her gaze struggling to focus—
It was Ye Xingmian’s doll.
Ah, she hadn’t been lying. This little bear really was bought with her mother’s money.
Was that why she treasured it so much? Even treating it as a precious treasure, willing to give up her dignity to get it back from her.
To her, this must have been something extremely important.
Yet she herself had torn it apart right in front of that girl. Even though Ye Xingmian showed no expression then, she must have been utterly heartbroken inside, right?
Then why didn’t she show it?
Ah… she was afraid of being hit, afraid of being mocked and threatened by her.
How desperate must she have been then? How sad? And with what kind of willpower did she forcibly endure that pain, uttering those casual, indifferent words?
She knew she had wronged Ye Xingmian. From start to finish, she had been terribly wrong.
She finally understood that she had become the very kind of person she used to despise most, yet remained completely unaware, even mocking Ye Xingmian’s suffering and feeling smug about it.
Ridiculous, and childish.
In Ye Xingmian’s eyes, was this what she had looked like all along?
She began to realize her parents’ mistakes, and it also made her start to reflect on herself. It was unbelievable, as if the life she had lived for over a decade had all been for nothing.
Tears flowed silently.
She hugged the toy bear, not crying out loud. The person she bullied hadn’t shed tears, so what right did she have to cry?
But she couldn’t control it, couldn’t hold it back. She felt she shouldn’t cry—what right did a villain have to cry?
On the toy bear, there still lingered a faint trace of fragrance. If you didn’t smell carefully, you could hardly detect it.
Would she come back?
Even if just to give her a chance to atone, a chance to start over.
…Hah.
What was this, then?
Should she apologize to her? Apologize to Ye Xingmian?
Really… the first time since she could remember. It wasn’t that she couldn’t accept it, but how should she say it?
She couldn’t do it, couldn’t figure it out. What kind of apology would the other person accept? What kind of apology would make her feel a little better?
In the midst of this inner torment, a knock sounded at the door.
“Ziyan, come down for dinner, it’s ready.” It was her father.
She knew she shouldn’t be so cold to the parents who raised her. But she was really angry, really furious.
Precisely because she trusted them, precisely because she depended on them, discovering she had been deceived, confirming her parents were liars, made her even more furious.
Only today did she feel like she was meeting them for the first time.
She also understood that her relationship with her parents had plummeted to freezing point, and it could never go back to how it was before.
Was this her choice? To be honest, she didn’t want things to develop to this point.
But unfortunately, there were no ‘ifs.’
Even if she were willing, the Lin family could never return to that former state of harmony. The matter of Ye Zhiyun was like a thorn, deeply embedded in the softest part of the Lin family’s heart, impossible to pull out or break off.
Once touched, it would only bleed profusely.
She didn’t respond. Soon, her father tactfully left.
Her parents truly loved her, even to the point of doting. No matter what she did, they had never hit or scolded her. Or perhaps… everything that should have fallen on her was borne by Ye Xingmian in her place.
Time passed slowly. She ignored her parents and didn’t go downstairs for dinner.
Her stomach was a little hungry, but she could endure it. Missing one dinner wasn’t a big deal.
She quietly went out to wash up, then returned to her room.
After her parents finished eating and the lights outside her door went out, her heart suddenly felt hollow.
Was she feeling a bit lost? Perhaps.
Hugging the toy bear, she thought dazedly.
Since leaving childhood, she had rarely slept hugging a doll. Only this one was an exception.
Just as she thought her parents had returned to their room to rest and she closed her eyes preparing to sleep, another knock sounded at the door.
No one spoke, silence spreading in the darkness. After the knock, footsteps gradually faded away.
After a while, Lin Ziyan got up, opened the door, and looked. On the floor by the door, she found a dinner.
She bent down and touched it. It wasn’t cold, even a little warm, clearly just reheated. The food was placed on a simple little board, making one worry it might slide off at any moment.
She fell silent.
In the end, she brought the food into her room, ate her fill, then silently went downstairs to clean up.
She didn’t refuse her parents’ final gesture of kindness tonight, perhaps only because she was really hungry.
But everyone understood that the atmosphere in the Lin household could never return to that former harmony.
Even when Ye Xingmian wasn’t there.