Upon hearing these words, Jiang Ling was stunned almost instantly.
Even though she had prepared herself mentally, she still hadn’t expected Mo Ran’s request to be like this…
Jiang Ling felt the rise and fall of Mo Ran’s breathing so close to her. After a long silence, she asked in a timid voice:
“Mm.”
Mo Ran nodded honestly.
She lifted her arm and wrapped it around Jiang Ling’s neck. “To be honest, I don’t really understand what love is—whether it’s familial, friendship, or romantic love.”
With those slow words, Jiang Ling felt a tickle at the nape of her neck and unconsciously held her breath.
“But I really long for that so-called love.”
Mo Ran slowly lifted her chin, making it easier for Jiang Ling to move. “So what kind of feeling is that, exactly?”
“Tell me, Jiang Ling.”
At those words, Jiang Ling actually wanted to refuse.
Because she felt that physical contact and the collision of feelings were not the same. But looking at Mo Ran’s genuinely longing expression, Jiang Ling just couldn’t say the words to push her away.
So she added quietly, “Just… just to try…”
Then, she carefully pressed her lips to the long-awaited red lips.
It was different from the rest.
Is this what you want? Jiang Ling rarely took the initiative to kiss others; most of the time, she had her chin grabbed and lips pressed together, so her movements were especially clumsy, just using her burning lips to peck at Mo Ran.
Mo Ran’s body, after a moment of stiffness, gradually relaxed. Her arms around Jiang Ling’s neck tightened a little more, almost digging in with force.
Their bodies naturally pressed together.
The burning heat, along with the occasional subtle sounds, was especially clear in the quiet night.
Jiang Ling had already closed her eyes. In that darkness, she fumbled to recall how to kiss, awkwardly and slowly rubbing Mo Ran’s lips, her mind muddled and unable to think of how to continue.
Sensing the stalling of their progress, Mo Ran guessed that Jiang Ling didn’t really know what to do next, so she moved a little away.
Jiang Ling immediately gasped for air, a thin sheen of sweat appearing on her forehead.
Mo Ran stared at her flushed cheeks and asked, “What’s wrong?”
“… I—I don’t know how.”
Jiang Ling’s voice was tinged with shame, but it was also intoxicatingly alluring.
Seeing her flustered expression, Mo Ran naturally didn’t blame her. Instead, she pulled Jiang Ling closer again, took her hand, and placed it on her own shoulder.
“Help me take this off.”
Though it was a request, Mo Ran spoke naturally and straightforwardly, so Jiang Ling instinctively did as she was told.
Mo Ran’s clothes weren’t complicated; after undoing a few buttons, that beautiful scene was laid bare.
Jiang Ling wanted to look away, but then she heard Mo Ran’s lingering voice pressed against her ear: “Look at me.”
For Jiang Ling, this demand was too direct. She hesitated for a long time before squeezing out a weak voice from her throat: “But, but…”
“Can’t you?”
Mo Ran hugged her even tighter, as if afraid to lose her beloved toy, her voice laced with a heart-aching hint of tears.
“Didn’t you say, anything’s okay?”
Jiang Ling was left speechless.
She had promised Mo Ran so firmly.
Although she hadn’t expected things to turn out like this, since she had agreed, Jiang Ling had no reason to back down. She bit her lip and brought her gaze back.
And the moment she saw that fair skin, the embarrassment in Jiang Ling’s heart faded by more than half.
Because on Mo Ran’s front, there were also scattered scars—though not as terrifying as those on her back, they were still there, stabbing painfully at Jiang Ling’s eyes.
Even though Mo Ran hadn’t asked, Jiang Ling still reached out with trembling fingers to touch those scars, pressing gently and carefully, then as if scalded, she quickly withdrew.
She realized her actions might be misunderstood and hurriedly explained, “I’m not disgusted by you, I’m just afraid it’ll hurt—”
“Kiss me again.”
Mo Ran cut off her hurried words, pressing her bare body to Jiang Ling’s front, the soft touch spreading instantly. Jiang Ling had no reason to refuse; she swallowed and once again kissed Mo Ran at the corner of her lips.
Perhaps because her mind was clearer now, Jiang Ling slowly recalled how she had been treated before and imitated, gently licking Mo Ran’s somewhat dry lips with her soft pink tongue, swaying like a little snake.
The kiss didn’t last long, barely more than ten seconds, but Jiang Ling still felt her heart pounding wildly out of control.
“Ha…”
When their lips and tongues parted, Jiang Ling breathed heavily again, suddenly feeling unbearably hot. She tugged at her collar, trying to dispel the heat.
Mo Ran, seeing this, spoke again.
“Take your clothes off too.”
This time, Jiang Ling agreed almost immediately, quickly removing her upper garments and leaving only the closest-fitting, delicate underwear.
But Mo Ran shook her head.
“All of them. Just like me.”
As if to demonstrate, she spread her arms, taking off the last barrier, her exposed skin glowing even more brightly in the air.
Jiang Ling wanted to say something, but seeing that lonely and pitiful look in Mo Ran’s eyes, she closed her mouth and followed Mo Ran’s example, removing her clothes.
They sat face to face, completely naked.
Jiang Ling had never experienced anything like this before. The strange sensation made her heart itch, mixed with an unspeakable sense of shame, so she lowered her gaze and stared at the wrinkled bedsheet. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Mo Ran slowly moving closer.
Then, Jiang Ling felt herself being gently embraced by a pair of arms, not with much force.
She didn’t resist, letting Mo Ran’s hands tentatively move along her back until they found a comfortable position and stopped.
“Hugging feels so good.”
Mo Ran murmured softly, “I haven’t hugged anyone in so long. The last time… Never mind, it’s better not to think back on things so far away.”
Listening to her self-mocking tone, Jiang Ling felt a stabbing pain in her heart, as if a needle had pierced it. She immediately hugged her back tightly, responding with a firm voice.
“If it’s a hug, it doesn’t matter how many times you want it.”
“Pfft, are you the lead in some idol drama?”
Mo Ran couldn’t help but laugh, her voice now tinged with happiness.
After speaking, Jiang Ling also realized that she might have been too cheesy, but she didn’t regret it. Instead, she hugged tighter.
They embraced, not taking things further, but Jiang Ling still felt that scorching, intoxicating sensation wandering through her body.
No one knew how long had passed—maybe two minutes, maybe five—but neither of them let go.
Because of their naked bodies pressed tightly together, fine beads of sweat formed where their skin met, making previously dry places become slick. Jiang Ling could even feel the soft sway of Mo Ran’s chest.
She pressed her lips together, afraid Mo Ran would notice her reaction. After a long silence, Mo Ran suddenly let out a soft laugh.
“So, hugging and kissing really are actions that make people drunk with delight.”
It was as if she were giving her thoughts on what had just happened, her tone serious and entranced.
“I’ve never tried it before, and I never understood why people would want to do these seemingly pointless things—hugging and kissing even in the heat of summer—it always seemed so stupid.”
Listening to Mo Ran’s merciless teasing, Jiang Ling had nothing to refute, since she’d thought the same before joining NOVA.
“But it’s different from what I imagined.”
Mo Ran’s voice grew softer as she spoke.
“Kissing. Maybe it was invented as a way to convey feelings between two people… To feel a close bond, something only those with an intimate relationship can do.”
“Hugging, a naked embrace. You can clearly feel your temperature merging with mine, heartbeats slowly overlapping, as if two people have become one… Come to think of it, I once saw something like this in a column—”
“Humans were originally split in half, and in the course of life, they search for their other half. And hugging makes you feel, ‘this person was always mine.’”
Mo Ran spoke gently, and Jiang Ling listened seriously, not refuting her.
Because she knew, at times like this, what Mo Ran needed wasn’t someone to debate right and wrong, but a faithful listener—someone to quietly hear her true thoughts.
“I think I can understand why couples are always so reluctant to part.”
Mo Ran continued, as if recalling something: “Back at my dorm building, at night, there’d always be couples embracing out in public. At the time, I wondered—are they really that reluctant to say goodbye?”
She paused for a moment, then tightened her arms around Jiang Ling.
“Now I see, it really is hard to let go.”
“Your warmth, your breath, your expression—every part of you gives me an unprecedented feeling, making me want more, wishing time could stop right here.”
Mo Ran took a deep breath.
“Then you’d never leave me.”
Jiang Ling heard the deep loneliness in her last words, and didn’t know how to comfort her.
After all, she couldn’t guarantee that she would always be by Mo Ran’s side—no one can promise that the future will never change.
If she rashly promised to always stay with her, and something unexpected happened, the one who’d be hurt would only be Mo Ran, who’d believed in that promise all along.
So Jiang Ling fell into a brief silence.
She thought hard for a long time. Finally, under Mo Ran’s somewhat confused gaze, she leaned in and gave her a light, fleeting kiss.
Watching Jiang Ling sit up, Mo Ran was a little dazed. Then she heard the other speak honestly.
“If I promise to stay by your side forever right now, you might be happy for a while, but that wouldn’t be my true feeling. I’m just an ordinary person, I can’t bear the weight of someone else’s life.”
Hearing this, a look of understanding and loneliness flashed in Mo Ran’s eyes, but she didn’t protest or do anything extreme.
Because what Jiang Ling said was how any normal person would think.
Mo Ran was about to change the heavy topic when Jiang Ling cupped her face, their eyes meeting.
“Even if I can’t promise you an illusory future, no matter what you go through, no matter how you’re treated… I, Jiang Ling, will be here, in every moment, by your side.”
Jiang Ling wasn’t one to say sweet or manipulative words. What she said came straight from the heart, her truest feelings for Mo Ran.
Mo Ran stared blankly at Jiang Ling after hearing those words, not speaking for a long time as time flowed quietly by.
Jiang Ling didn’t rush her, just held her hand tighter and tighter.
“Mm…”
She heard Mo Ran sob softly, like an abandoned little animal.
This made Jiang Ling panic, thinking she’d said something wrong. She lowered her head in a hurry to look at Mo Ran’s face. “Sorry, I—”
Her words stopped abruptly.
Her wet lips were sealed, leaving her unable to speak.
Mo Ran bit at Jiang Ling’s burning lips, whimpering incoherently, “Really?”
“Mmm… really…”
Jiang Ling’s voice was swallowed in their entangled lips and tongues, every movement intoxicating. She responded with desperate breaths. “Love is a complicated thing.”
Mo Ran spoke softly, as if telling a story from long ago.
At first, she didn’t have such an obsession with love, never expected anyone to stay by her side day after day, forever.
But as time passed, never having been truly loved, she eventually became fixated on this so-called love.
Actually, Mo Ran didn’t like cooking at first. She was just forced to do all those trivial chores.
But as she grew older, she slowly began to like cooking, and also liked seeing the amazed and excited expressions of people tasting her food.
Just like Jiang Ling now.
Her eyes tinged red, breath hurried.
That delicate face utterly enchanting, flaunting the unique beauty of a young woman.
Mo Ran tightened her other hand, a burning wave gradually filling her chest.
It wasn’t a simple pleasure from touching flesh, but a trembling of souls brushing against each other.
Mo Ran pressed her tongue down, searching for a place to breathe, closing her eyes and mumbling, “Jiang Ling, more than pleasure, I want to feel love.”
“I want to be loved.”
As she spoke, her strength turned a little desperate.
This made Jiang Ling’s breathing even more erratic, eyes misty, her whole body looking helpless.
“I’m not a good person. My heart is always full of darkness, so I try not to get close to people, afraid I’ll scare them away, and I never craved being loved.”
“But Jiang Ling, you’re the one who stepped in…”
“Into my heart.”
Mo Ran’s face was no longer deathly pale, but flushed with spring.
“So you have to take responsibility.”
With a steady motion, she slowly raised her wrist, the touch at her fingertips now rough.
Jiang Ling turned her face away, letting out a quick cry.
“Don’t—”