I did come home just like Shihyun said, but now that I’m here, there are a lot of awkward things.
It feels strange to say this, but anyway… Shihyun’s friends who are staying at his house don’t look like the kind of people you’d see on the street every day.
Plus, they speak Korean very fluently. If they said they came from the countryside, I start wondering if they are really Korean… The names were all quite common Korean names, but still seemed a bit unusual.
Thinking about it again, Shihyun is an adult. The Shihyun in my memory is fixed at the time of the graduation ceremony, so even when I see Shihyun, who is twenty-four, I still think he looks ‘young.’ In fact, compared to others his age, Shihyun does look a bit younger.
That’s why, when I saw his friends staying at his house, I was a bit surprised.
The first person I met, with pink hair, looked younger than Shihyun. Of course, they were still an adult, but at first, I thought Shihyun was literally just living with his friends for a while. It’s common for college students to live with friends to save on rent.
Besides, this isn’t just a one-room apartment. Each person has their own room, so it wouldn’t be a big problem even if many people lived here. I didn’t think there would just be one bathroom.
However, my thoughts started to change when I saw the three others who followed behind.
The person who introduced herself as Kalia seemed a year or two older than Shihyun. She was calmer and more mature than the first person I met, named Fia, and her voice didn’t have as much emotional fluctuation.
Arna was similar in appearance to Kalia, but her calm voice seemed even deeper than Kalia’s.
Still, the person standing in the middle, Dana, looked about the same age as Shihyun. In fact, she looked the most reserved of the four people I met today. She even followed Shihyun into the kitchen, so she might be someone who is really shy.
All four of them had distinctive appearances. Even excluding the fact that they looked “foreign,” their individual beauty might make anyone feel a little insecure.
“……”
“……”
As I heard the clinking sounds from the kitchen, I sat down briefly in the living room.
No one was sitting directly on the sofa. Was it because I instinctively sat at the living room table? Kalia, Dana, and Arna were all sitting on the floor, not the sofa. They were sitting on cushions, but did they look a little uncomfortable, or was it just my feeling? Should I tell them that it’s fine to sit on the sofa?
……No, maybe that’s a prejudice. Since they speak such good Korean, they might actually be Korean, not foreigners. It would be rude to treat people like foreigners when they might not be.
“So, you’re… I Ayun, right?”
Kalia asked gently. But there was something oddly stiff in her tone. It didn’t seem like she had negative feelings toward me, but it reminded me of people who use a very formal, professional tone. For example… maybe a soldier. Of course, I don’t actually know any soldiers, so this was just my own stereotype.
And since she said she came up here to find a job, it might actually be stranger to think she works in such a job.
“Oh, yes. I’m I Ayun, and I work with Shihyun. Nice to meet you.”
After introducing myself, I realized I hadn’t properly introduced myself when I came in. It made me feel a little embarrassed.
“Let me introduce myself again, then. I’m Kalia. I’m staying with Shihyun.”
“Oh, yes…”
She said she was staying with Shihyun, but I think she mentioned she’s paying rent. Maybe Shihyun is helping her stay here at a much cheaper price than the average rent around here. Since she said they were friends.
“……”
“…..”
Silence returned once again.
Even Fia, who had run out excitedly like a puppy at first, now looked like she didn’t know what to say. It was understandable. The person who could bridge the gap between us was in the kitchen.
I really wanted to shout, “Hurry up and come!” but… I understood. The amount we brought wasn’t small. Besides, Shihyun is the owner of this house, and I’m the guest, so if I took charge of preparing things, it would make Shihyun feel really awkward.
I let out a small sigh.
Right. It’s awkward, but as a guest, I can’t make the people who live here feel uncomfortable.
Plus, they were all people who had been friends with Shihyun before I even knew him, so I should try my best to get along with them. After all, they’re people I might meet many more times in the future.
“So, you’re Shihyun’s friends, right?”
I asked, loosening up my shoulders. As soon as I said that, it seemed like Fia had been waiting for me to ask, and she nodded eagerly.
“Yes, that’s right! We’re really close friends.”
At that, Kalia and Arna nodded as well.
So, it seemed like they were really close friends. Dana, who was probably in the kitchen, was probably the same.
Hearing it directly after only hearing about it from Shihyun made my chest tighten a little. When I think about how each of these people had known Shihyun much longer and had a deeper bond with him than I did, a sense of inferiority rose up inside me.
I’d been pushing myself on Shihyun, my same-gender junior at work, in all sorts of ways, but these people seemed so much more connected to him.
“Is that so…”
“Eh? Ah, no, what I meant was!”
Without realizing it, I answered with a slightly tired voice, and Fia quickly waved her hands, flustered.
“What I meant by ‘close friends’ is really just close friends. I didn’t mean anything more than that…”
As Fia spoke, Kalia and Arna’s eyes turned toward her, and Fia’s face immediately turned bright red. Maybe it was because she realized she had misspoken.
“Did Shihyun talk about me?”
“Uh, well, um…”
Fia seemed like the type who couldn’t lie well.
Seeing Fia like this, Kalia let out a light sigh and said,
“We talk about all sorts of things after work, so we end up hearing about our coworkers, too.”
Hmm…
Well, I’ve had a lot of conversations with Yuri about different things. Shihyun might not have shown it outwardly, but he probably had plenty to say about me. It’s only natural to share concerns with friends.
“By the way, could I ask what kind of things were said?”
I tried to speak as casually as possible, managing my expression, hoping it would sound like just a passing remark. I’m not sure if I pulled it off.
“Hmm.”
Kalia hesitated.
“We don’t think Shihyun would get mad if we talked about it, but… before that.”
After a brief pause, Kalia spoke again.
“We use informal speech with Shihyun, but… could you tell us how you usually interact with him?”
When Kalia asked with such a polite tone, I breathed a sigh of relief internally.
It seemed like they hadn’t shared *everything* after all.
“Shihyun uses formal speech with me, but I speak informally with him.”
“I see.”
Kalia looked like she was thinking for a moment before slowly speaking up.
“Then, I think it’s okay for you to speak informally with us, just like you do with Shihyun…”
“Sorry?”
“Even if we keep using formal speech, it’ll make things uncomfortable for all of us. It’s fine if you treat us equally, just like Shihyun does.”
“But…”
She might be younger than me, but she definitely looked older than Shihyun. Even if Shihyun spoke informally with her, it wasn’t something I could easily do…
Ah.
“Then, how about this?”
I decided to make a suggestion.
“If I speak informally, then you should too.”
“Sorry?”
Fia’s eyes widened.
“It would be more uncomfortable for me if only I speak informally. Rather, I think it would be easier if we all speak informally together.”
“But Shihyun…”
Right. Shihyun was still using formal speech with me, even though it’s been three months since we met.
I hadn’t minded until now, at least not consciously.
But now, seeing Shihyun speak informally with his ‘friends,’ I couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of jealousy.
The act of speaking informally was a sign of how close they were to each other.
“Then, in that case, I’ll start speaking informally with Shihyun too.”
Because I wanted to get closer.
And as I got closer, I wanted to know more.
Yeah, the people in front of me were all people who knew Shihyun in ways I didn’t. Maybe if I became friends with them too, I’d get to know Shihyun much better.
Shihyun doesn’t talk much about his past, so I really wanted to dig deeper.
Yeah.
I wanted to know more about Shihyun.
That was my true feeling.