Chapter 11: Self-examination

Lin Jianqing closed his eyes.

“Change clothes first.”

He reminded himself in a low voice. The most important thing now was to take advantage of the fact that the dorm was empty and change back to his original appearance as quickly as possible.

Lin Jianqing put the paper bags under the desk. Then he immediately walked to the closet and pulled out his own clothes.

A slightly worn T-shirt and a pair of ordinary pants. There was also a jacket whose cuffs had gotten loose from too much wear.

Under normal circumstances, he wouldn’t even spare these clothes a second glance.

But now, holding them again, he felt an indescribable sense of relief. As if as long as he changed back into these clothes, he would still be Lin Jianqing.

Lin Jianqing moved quickly. He took off the outfit he was wearing with almost the speed of fleeing, and swiftly changed back into his male clothes.

The moment the fabric touched his skin, he felt like he could finally breathe more smoothly.

The person in the mirror had turned back into the familiar version of himself.

His hair was a bit messy, his complexion… not great, a little pale.

Lin Jianqing stared at himself in the mirror for a few seconds, then let out a long breath.

But the real trouble was just beginning. He turned to look at the clothes he had just taken off, now lying on the bed.

The clothes lay there quietly.

Soft, exquisite, expensive. They stood out in stark contrast to this ordinary male dormitory room.

Lin Jianqing was silent for a moment. In the end, he resigned himself to walking over and starting to fold them one by one. Looking at these clothes, Lin Jianqing felt as if he were examining himself.

It was just like his future life—he could see the end at a glance…

In the past, it was always like that. But now that he had run into that weird woman Shen Huaixue… nothing was certain anymore.

Still, the contract was only for a year. He hoped that by then she would get tired of playing and let him go.

Lin Jianqing thought this as he continued tidying the clothes.

His movements were very gentle, not because he liked these clothes, but because he roughly remembered their prices.

Shen Huaixue hadn’t bothered to hide the tags when she bought them. He had only glanced at the numbers on those tags once, and he could never forget them.

The price of a single jacket was almost equal to half a month’s wages from his previous part-time job at a milk tea shop.

A skirt that didn’t look like it used much fabric was probably enough to buy him meals at the school cafeteria for a long time.

Even the inconspicuous accessories had prices so high that he wondered if he had misread an extra zero.

Lin Jianqing unconsciously loosened his grip on the shirt sleeve.

It wasn’t that he was reluctant to handle them—he was afraid of damaging them. What if Shen Huaixue used that as an excuse to make things difficult for him?

Lin Jianqing felt that was something Shen Huaixue would do. Although the contract didn’t seem to say anything about compensation for damaged clothes, he had already developed an instinctive distrust of the word “contract.”

What was written in black and white was terrifying. What wasn’t written seemed even more terrifying.

He spread the clothes flat and carefully smoothed out the small wrinkles, then folded them one by one along the original creases.

Halfway through folding, he suddenly thought his current appearance was laughable. Clearly, these things had been forced on him by Shen Huaixue. Yet here he was, handling them as if they were expensive stolen goods, cautious and afraid of a single bump or scrape.

“What a fucking joke.”

Lin Jianqing cursed under his breath.

He didn’t know whether he was cursing Shen Huaixue or himself.

But curse or not, his movements didn’t get any rougher. After finishing with the clothes, he started dealing with the accessories.

Hairpins, ribbons, stockings, and some small items he had no idea how to categorize.

Lin Jianqing stared at them for a long time. Finally, he found an empty shoe box and stuffed all the odds and ends inside.

The moment he closed the shoe box lid, he felt an inexplicable sense of relief.

At least out of sight, out of mind. As for the clothes, he hesitated for a long time before finally opening the suitcase under his bed.

The suitcase originally held some seasonal clothes and old textbooks. Lin Jianqing took out the thick clothes he only used in winter, neatly placed Shen Huaixue’s clothes at the very bottom, and covered them back up with the thick clothes.

After thinking for a moment, he also pressed a few old textbooks on top. After doing all this, he crouched on the ground and stared at it for a while. Only after confirming that nothing looked abnormal from the outside did he push the suitcase back under the bed.

If he hadn’t hidden them himself, even he would find it hard to believe that this completely ordinary-looking suitcase contained a bunch of ridiculously expensive women’s clothing, along with a contract he didn’t want to face.

Lin Jianqing sat back down on his chair and rubbed his temples.

The dorm was so quiet that he could hear his own breathing.

His phone screen lit up, and Lin Jianqing’s body tensed almost instinctively.

He picked it up and looked, only to find it was just a regular app notification. Not Shen Huaixue, not the hospital. Seeing that, he realized his palms had been sweating from nervousness.

Lin Jianqing let out a self-deprecating laugh.

Since when had he become afraid of the phone ringing?

Before, what he feared most was being broke. Now it seemed he was still short on money, but at least the most difficult and important matter seemed to have been resolved.

Lin Jianqing put his phone face-down on the desk and leaned back in his chair.

Everything that had happened today still felt surreal. What happened during the day… was as absurd as some third-rate melodrama.

But it had all come crashing down on him. Lin Jianqing closed his eyes, and Shen Huaixue’s way of speaking surfaced uncontrollably in his mind.

Sometimes you need a little self-deception to keep from being crushed by reality. Thinking of the reason Shen Huaixue had given, Lin Jianqing could only accept it with resignation.

“It’s just acting.”

Lin Jianqing opened his eyes, looking up at the old ceiling, and said in a low voice.

“As long as I remember who I am, it’s fine. Besides, Shen Huaixue is a lesbian.”

He said it very softly, as if trying to comfort himself. If Shen Huaixue wanted to look at that face, let her look. If she wanted him to wear those clothes, he would treat them like a uniform.

If she wanted him to stay with her for a while, he would treat it like overtime. Anyway, the contract clearly stated it was only until 9:30 PM. She also paid him. How could she possibly… forget it, she’s a lesbian, she can’t actually fuck me.

Lin Jianqing was originally thinking about the possibility of rape, but then he remembered how the news nowadays was full of stories about a bunch of random thugs doing XXX to passing male students…

If Shen Huaixue really had that kind of intention, she probably wouldn’t have gone through all this trouble, right?

At least tonight, he could think that way. Lin Jianqing reached for his water glass and took a sip of the now-cold water.

The chill slid down his throat, clearing his chaotic mind a little. He looked down at the space under the bed, where the suitcase lay quietly hidden.

Inside were the clothes Shen Huaixue had given him, as well as the period of life he would have to face next.

Lin Jianqing stared for a long time, then finally looked away.

Forget it. Sleep first.