“Ugh, just kill me already.”
Amid the ruins, a black-haired girl knelt on the ground.
Her hair was a mess, her clothes were tattered, and her face was covered in dirt and ash.
All she could do was glare up at the person before her with powerless hatred in her eyes.
The other person had long, silver-white hair, a slender and graceful figure, and a flawless, spotless face.
Yet, those icy blue eyes were utterly devoid of emotion.
“Thunder Freak, your days of evil deeds are over!”
“In the past year alone, you’ve committed thirteen cases of public disorder for illegally harassing girls, seduced five of them with your body, then scammed them for money and ran off.”
“In addition, you’ve been involved in pyramid schemes, selling illegal videos, spreading rumors about improper relationships between magical girls, and even selling related doujinshi on the side.”
“The worst part is, you even sold little phoenix books to elementary schoolers. She’s only eight years old, you know, eight!”
“BYD, who has an eight-year-old that’s 1.8 meters tall! How was I supposed to know she was only eight?!”
The black-haired girl kneeling on the ground, looking utterly wronged as if she’d just lost a battle CG, was none other than Yijinmo.
As Thunder Freak, Yijinmo was actually quite formidable—whether it was Thunderbolt or Railgun, she could pull them off with ease.
But the problem was… her abilities couldn’t be used directly with just her body; she needed special equipment as a medium.
As the saying goes, the rich rely on technology and the poor rely on mutation, but for someone like her, half-tech, half-mutation, and dead broke, it was just plain awkward.
In order not to starve to death on the street out of sheer frustration, the girl had truly reached the pinnacle of money-making schemes.
She’d done everything except gambling and drugs!
But no matter how powerful a freak is, everyone slips up sooner or later… especially in this strange world crawling with magical girls.
To delay that day’s arrival, Yijinmo had actually made a lot of preparations.
Just the pile of magical girls who’d been defeated and left twitching under her lightning could form a small hill.
But who could have known…
Who could have known this person would be so strong!
She didn’t even get a chance to recite her entrance lines before she was instantly KO’d.
“How could you be so shameless? I didn’t even finish my lines before you charged over and beat me up! What kind of magical girl does that, sob sob.”
The more the freakish girl thought about it, the angrier and more aggrieved she felt, until finally she just burst into tears.
“Waaaah, isn’t there any justice left in the world—waaaah!”
“Eh, eh, don’t cry, don’t cry!”
Yijinmo, sobbing so hard her whole body trembled, had truly caught this mysterious magical girl off guard.
Thinking back, all she’d done was smash every piece of equipment on the freak girl to bits, then give her a few hard smacks on the butt.
She hadn’t even started doing anything particularly excessive, right?
Just as she was about to step forward and offer comfort, she didn’t expect that this was exactly what Yijinmo wanted.
“Ahahaha, bet you didn’t see this coming! This is my real counterattack route!”
“You bottom-tier magical girls, prepare to die!”
Yijinmo’s slender hand took the opportunity to slip under her skirt and pull out a silver dagger.
As the famous, never-defeated Thunder Freak, how could she not have a few backup tricks up her sleeve!
She drew the electric arcs from her body onto the blade, and in an instant, the magnetic field around her gave her a huge burst of acceleration.
Charging forward, Yijinmo could already imagine this cold, aloof magical girl, finally defeated, crouching meekly at her feet.
Well, if she graciously let this little beauty lick her toes as an apology or something, that wouldn’t be so bad…
Huh?
Her blood-red eyes blinked blankly twice, only to find that the white-haired magical girl was nowhere in sight.
Where’d she go?
Just as she was about to turn around, a cold wind swept past, her dagger flew from her hand, and her whole body was sent spinning sideways by inertia, the world spinning around her.
How… how could she be even faster than me?!
But in the end, she didn’t crash into the cold corner of the wall.
Instead, someone caught her from behind, and a pleasant, fresh scent filled her nose.
Eh?
“I hate liars.”
But the words that sounded in her ear were even colder than the corner of the wall.
“Thunder Freak, you are under arrest by force. Now, in the name of love and justice, I will execute you on the spot!”
Execute on the spot!
Held tightly in someone’s arms, Yijinmo trembled twice in fright, her soft, round bundles pressing fearfully into the magical girl’s hands.
No, sis! Selling a few doujinshi isn’t a crime worthy of this, right?!
Yijinmo summoned all her strength to try and break free from the other’s embrace, but being a whole head shorter, she was no match.
What’s more, what’s more… this position was way too embarrassing! Being pinned from the side by this person, she felt completely unsafe!
“Nnng!”
Wait, didn’t you say you were going to execute me? Why are you stripping my clothes now?!
“Y-y-you, what are you doing?!”
In the blink of an eye, her gorgeous blue-black dress was torn open by this person’s rough hands, revealing her fair, delicate waist and flat stomach.
“What do you think I’m doing?”
“Huh?!”
“Aren’t magical girls supposed to be the embodiment of love and justice? Why are you doing this?!”
“That’s right, love and justice. Love comes first, is there a problem?”
So this is the kind of love and justice you meant!
“Help, I’m being molested, I’m being molested!”
“Stop shouting. Even if you scream your lungs out, no one will come to save you, keh keh keh.”
“Scream my lungs out! Scream my lungs out!”
No, don’t just kiss me like that! At least book a hotel room first, please!
Mmph♡～.
…
“So, is this how you lost your chastity back then?”
“Ahahahaha!!”
In the dim bedroom, two distinctively beautiful girls sat facing each other, with a small table between them piled high with orange juice bottles and empty chip bags.
At first glance, you’d think they were a pair of hopeless otaku girls hanging out together.
The pink-haired loli sitting across from Yijinmo was her close gal pal, Vita.
Don’t be fooled by her not even being 1.5 meters tall—she was already the infamous tentacle freak whose name echoed throughout all of Jiangnan City.
At least a dozen magical girls had been defeated by her.
She was almost catching up to Yijinmo’s pre-retirement record.
“So you lost your innocence after a single defeat and then hid away in shame for three whole years. Big Sis Yi, you really are a pure-hearted little bottom-tier~ bottom-tier~”
“What do you mean shame? That’s not it! I was just secretly researching a way to defeat that monster!”
“Eh… are you serious?”
Vita tapped her finger to her lips, her big pink eyes full of confusion and surprise.
After all, the person who had utterly destroyed Thunder Freak three years ago was none other than the number one magical girl in Jiangnan City—Red Spider Lily!
So Big Sis Yi had been in hiding all these years to take revenge for her past humiliation… If she really succeeded in defeating Bianhua, then Big Sis Yi would rightfully become the leader of all freaks, leading them to greatness once again!
Though she didn’t hold out too much hope, little Vita still felt a deep sense of admiration.
“So what’s your plan?”
“Hmph, of course it’s this!”
As soon as she finished speaking, Yijinmo thrust her phone in front of Vita, the screen displaying a bunch of lines and numbers that the little loli couldn’t make heads or tails of.
“What is this, some kind of heavenly scripture?”
“Wrong, it’s stock trading!”
“Do you know why I lost to that monster three years ago?!”
“Because bottom-tier Big Sis Yi was just too weak?”
“You#!! Wrong, wrong, wrong!!”
The black-haired girl somehow produced a whiteboard, grabbed a black marker, and started scribbling all over it.
“As everyone knows, my ability is different from yours. It relies heavily on real-world attributes. That means, to fully unleash my power, I need the boost from equipment!”
“That also means I can’t just summon thunder from under my skirt out of thin air like you and your tentacles.”
“The materials I need to make equipment all have to be bought from the black market, and even the most basic parts have to be handcrafted bit by bit. The money needed for this is no small sum!”
“Three years ago, I set out from Jiangnan City to hunt down evil magical girls. All the freaks rallied under Thunder’s banner. Wherever I went, freaks welcomed me with open arms. I had every advantage!”
“That vibrant, thriving scene was right before my eyes!”
“In short, the reason I lost back then was because I had no money—no money to make better equipment, no money to buy better materials! As long as I have money, the advantage will be mine!”
Chatter, chatter, what is she going on about.
Vita shook her head, nearly dizzy from her bestie’s rambling, but at least she caught the main point. “But Big Sis Yi, with your luck so bad even the God of Wealth couldn’t save you… where are you going to get all that money?”
“Hmph, that’s where you don’t understand!”
“I’ve spent two and a half years studying the stock market, developed a complete investment formula, and now—this is the perfect time to get in!”
Looking at the string of numbers and letters Yijinmo excitedly wrote on the whiteboard, Vita’s head spun again…
For someone who’d never scored above double digits in math her whole life, this stuff was just impossible to understand.
“But didn’t you fall so low you’re living off shared meals every day?”
“Where’d you get the money to invest in stocks?”
“Haha, isn’t it obvious? By selling panties, of course!”
“Panties?!”
“You mean the kind of panties I’m thinking of?!”
“Hmph, of course.”
“Cute girl panties are hot sellers no matter what world you’re in. I put them up on Xianyu for less than a minute before everything was snapped up. Impressive, right?”
Is this really something to be proud of?!
The unconvinced little loli went on Xianyu to check for herself, and sure enough, she found the panties Yijinmo had put up for sale.
“Thunder Freak Original Panties, 100% Authentic, Buy Two Get One Free, Honest Seller!”
You have to admit, the price is actually pretty reasonable… Wait, no, why would anyone actually buy this stuff?! And in seconds, too!
As a tentacle freak who regularly disciplines magical girls, Vita considered herself pretty perverted.
But she never imagined there were even bigger weirdos online!
“So I’ve got my starting capital. Now it’s just a matter of execution. I threw all the money in at once!”
“I see… wait, all of it? Big Sis Yi, are you serious?!”
“Of course!”
“After all, if I hang onto it, it’ll just disappear for all sorts of reasons anyway, sob sob…”
One moment the black-haired girl was standing confidently with her hands on her hips, the next she was kneeling on the floor, secretly wiping away tears.
So you just went all in, huh.
Haki Yi, you really are something.
“In any case, trust in my two and a half years of hard work and sweat! Vita, look, all my stocks are glowing green right now!”
“My life and career are both on the up and up!”
Wow, amazing.
Vita’s little mouth hung open in shock.
You have to admit, the indexes on the screen really were all bright green.
But.
“Um, Big Sis Yi, if I remember correctly, the colors for our stock market and the one across the ocean are reversed, so…”
“……”
“Huh?”
As it turns out, the stock market doesn’t care about tears—or panties.
Avada Kedavra!
The mc is already funny af with how low IQ she is 😂
Thanks for the chapter!