Cui Wei was even more considerate.
“Even the red inner robe is too much—Xinzi made you a set of light gauze attire, much lighter than inner robes!”
Fang He: “….”
Thinking of her old lotus spirit, fox spirit, and flower spirit costumes, she felt like a carriage had run over her face.
She didn’t know if Kangxi still had the energy for it, but she certainly didn’t.
‘Passion returning? Oh, adults always have more heart than strength.’
Anyway, every kind of play had already been exhausted between her and Kangxi—nothing was fresh anymore.
Compared to just physical enjoyment, she felt it was time for them to enter… cough, the soulmate stage.
She pointed to the box in the corner, her tone casual.
“Take out the clothes at the bottom of the box and give them a press—I’ll wear that set. For tonight’s dinner, have a small table brought in—none of you need serve me in the hall.”
Cui Wei watched as Xinhua obeyed, pulling out the clothes from the bottom of the chest, and her eyes widened—it was actually the winter uniform from the Imperial Teahouse?
Hearing about the small table, Cui Wei felt a headache coming on.
“Are you planning to reminisce about the past?”
But with all the things her mistress had done in front of the Emperor back then, what was there to reminisce about?
Was she planning to toss His Majesty again, or turn the hall into a bloodbath once more?
Fang He replied confidently, “Don’t mind it, I have my own plans… By the way, where are Jiujiu and Er Bao?”
Yanxi Palace had been so lively earlier, Fang He was worried the children might get knocked about, so she’d had them taken to play in the conservatory.
‘Why weren’t they back yet?’
Xinhua replied, “Ninth Princess and Fifteenth Prince went to settle accounts with Seventh Princess.”
“Settle what—” Fang He hadn’t finished asking when she suddenly remembered that doggerel banner she’d seen outside the city gate, and her mouth twitched.
“How long have they been gone?”
Xinhua glanced at the water clock and replied, “Mistress, they left for Yongshou Palace around the middle of the hour of Wei—almost two hours now.”
Fang He knew that these past two years, the Imperial Consort’s health had declined, and Niuhulu Clan wasn’t one to meddle.
As for Concubine Jing in the rear halls of Yongshou Palace, she was even gentler.
Two hours with no commotion—likely they’d finished settling accounts and started playing together.
She was so tired, with dinner approaching, she didn’t have the energy to manage her increasingly wild little ones—just wanted a good bath to relax, fulfill her marital duty with Kangxi, and then sleep.
With Chunlai and Xinke guarding them—one strong, one steady—nothing serious should happen.
But to Fang He’s surprise, before dinner, with her hair still damp, Kangxi strode in, carrying a child in each hand and a black face.
Kangxi had never before shown a dark face to Jiujiu.
Especially after Fang He had told him that daughters must be raised with wealth and care so they could one day be a good example to their husbands.
Sometimes, Kangxi was gentler to Jiujiu than even to Fang He.
But now, even with Jiujiu puffing up her cheeks, eyes rimmed red, her little mouth quivering on the verge of tears—so pitiful it could melt a heart—Kangxi was unmoved.
He set the two children firmly on the soft couch, right across from Fang He, his voice stern: “Stand up, face the window. Until you’ve reflected on your mistakes, no dinner!”
Er Bao fiddled with his fingers, head lowered so his face couldn’t be seen, but obediently faced the wall.
Jiujiu, however, let out a loud sob, teary eyes beseeching Fang He for rescue.
Fang He: “……”
‘With such adorable little ones, what normal father could bear to bully them?’
Anyway, as their mother, she couldn’t stand it.
She sat up straight and with a smiling face said, “Your Majesty, so imposing! They’re just four and two years old—what could they possibly have done to anger you so?”
Kangxi looked down at Fang He, his face betraying a hint of numbness.
“Forerguo Chun and Yin Hui, after learning that Uxihan was misled by a little eunuch in the imperial garden, helped Yin Hui become my most memorable son in a most…unusual way. They went to the Imperial Household Department, found the little eunuch, and brought him to the Office Of Punishment and Investigation.”
Fang He: “…..”
‘Worthy of being my children!’
Oh, this was perfectly logical, and their behavior was completely within the rules, wasn’t it?
Kangxi: “The Office Of Punishment and Investigation extracted a confession—the eunuch had taken silver from a maid of Chuxiu Palace to do it on purpose. With Galu Dai (Fifth Princess) and Uxihan analyzing the situation, they determined Suo’etu had deliberately framed Yin Hui, aiming to ruin both his and your reputation.”
Fang He’s eyes grew brighter as she listened.
Had she given birth to a pair of geniuses?
They weren’t even as old as one tenth of Kangxi!
Seeing the admiration in her gaze toward Jiujiu and Yin Hui, Kangxi sneered.
“They knew they couldn’t outwit Suo’etu, so they went to Shang Shufang. One distracted the teacher, the other played hide-and-seek with their brothers, locking them all inside the study room.”
Fang He froze, ‘What sort of move was that? Locking brothers up in a dark room? But Shang Shufang wasn’t even dark.’
Starve them?
The servants wouldn’t let the princes suffer.
Wait!
Weren’t the princes in class?
Why would they suddenly play games with the little ones?
She looked at Kangxi in confusion, eyes wide and asked, “There are locks in Shang Shufang?”
Kangxi: “That’s not the point.”
Fang He smiled—get to the point, quickly, so she could praise her painstakingly raised children.
“The point is, Jiujiu hoisted Er Bao, and Er Bao tossed a hornet’s nest through the window.”
Fang He: “……”
“…They tossed what???”
Kangxi looked at the two shrinking children and nodded with a stiff smile.
“You heard right. They said their mother told them that children of the Great Qing are flower buds, needing to be nourished by their teachers’ knowledge to blossom beautifully.”
Fang He: “……”
‘Little traitors!’
That was something she’d said—to encourage the children to study.
No, nothing wrong with that, was there?
Kangxi was already beyond explaining—it gave him a headache just to say it aloud.
“Let Jiujiu tell you herself.”
Fang He looked at Jiujiu.
Jiujiu mumbled, “Flower buds need more than watering—they need pollinating, Mother, you told us that.”
Er Bao piped up too, “No butterflies, Chun Aunty, catch bees!”
Fang He went black before her eyes—no wonder there had been no commotion, they’d been stung by hornets…
By now, everyone must be laid up!
“Your Majesty,” Fang He clutched her chest in mock agony, looking exaggeratedly hurt.
“They’re still so young—rules must be taught early. How could you be so soft and just bring them back… Wait, were the Crown Prince and the others badly hurt?”
Kangxi felt Fang He was somehow different today.
Suppressing his doubts, he couldn’t help pinching his brow.
“Yinreng has returned to Yuqing Palace. The others are at A Ge Suo palace—probably won’t be out for half a month.”
Fang He: “…..”
So the swelling must be severe.
Her exhaustion was instantly cured by her children’s antics—she was now fully emotional again.
She looked at Kangxi, her eyes red, “With your daughter and son so naughty, how can you ignore the other princes’ suffering? As their mother, I can’t stand for it.”
“Cui Wei, bring the house law!” Fang He shouted imperiously.
“Everyone serving the princess and prince gets twenty strokes of the biandan. If this happens again, they can leave this palace for good!”
Kangxi was startled by Fang He’s display.
He’d thought she would defend Jiujiu and Er Bao, but she was even harsher than him!
It made him lose his desire to punish the children.
This woman seemed so real with him now—more unruly than ever.
He looked at the two cowering children, tears already streaming down their cheeks—he really couldn’t bear it.
“They’re still young, they just need to understand right and wrong—”
“No!” Fang He stood akimbo, her voice firm.
“Don’t you know hornet stings can kill? No matter how young they are, they can’t develop a casual disregard for life, and they can’t drag their innocent brothers into it—those are their own brothers!”
“Indulging children is no different from killing them—must I teach Your Majesty this? They must be punished—beaten half to death and dragged to apologize to the Crown Prince and princes!”
“Otherwise, word will spread inside and outside the palace that Jiujiu and Er Bao, emboldened by their status, act lawlessly and cruelly. If you cover for them, you’re harming them!”
Fang He, hair loose, stormed out and shouted, “Are you all deaf? Bring the house law!”
Jiujiu, terrified, burst into wailing sobs, “Wuwuwu~ Mother, I was wrong, I won’t dare again, I’ll be good from now on, wuwuwu~”
Er Bao, in tears as well, bravely stood in front of his sister with a trembling baby voice.
“Mo…Mother~ it’s Er Bao… hic… Er Bao was naughty, don’t hit Sister, wuwuwu~”
Inside the hall, the children were crying, and none of the palace staff dared intervene.
They handed over the cane, faces white, to a stern-faced Fang He.
Fang He snatched the cane and gave Jiujiu and Er Bao each a smack on the behind—making Kangxi’s eyelids twitch.
“Cry! You still have the face to cry! If you’d killed your brothers, how would your mother answer for it?”
The two clutched their bottoms and cried harder.
Kangxi couldn’t watch any longer, deftly snatching the cane from Fang He.
“Enough—why are you taking it out on two children? Chunlai would never let them make such a grave mistake. There were only a few hornets in that nest.”
“Besides, it was the third prince and the others who mocked Er Bao first—Jiujiu and Er Bao just overheard and couldn’t beat them in a fair fight. Their bruises will heal soon enough.”
As soon as he finished speaking, Fang He gestured to Jiujiu and Er Bao, who instantly stopped crying and looked at Kangxi with wide, teary eyes and puffed cheeks.
Fang He raised an eyebrow at Kangxi, “What did you say, Your Majesty? Where did the children go wrong?”
Kangxi: “…”
With such skill, this clearly wasn’t the first time they’d put on this act.
Fine.
The mother had dropped the pretense, and the two little rascals did the same.
All the palace servants and eunuchs had the same thought—’these ancestors…no, these three ancestors were truly monsters!’
From now on, they’d never dare cross the Imperial Noble Consort or her brood!
Kangxi ordered everyone out, glared at Fang He, then couldn’t help but chuckle.
“So you were just waiting for me here, hmm?”
“They used hornets to hurt others…” Before he could finish, Fang He cut in.
“Once word gets out, others will only say they’re too unruly…” The rest, she finished for him.
He couldn’t help but laugh and cry—this troublemaker was getting better at shutting people up.
Fang He crossed her arms and smiled at him, “Everything I said to the children just now—those were your true feelings, weren’t they?”
“Third Prince mocked Er Bao, and the Crown Prince and the others probably enjoyed it. No matter their motive, if they dared mock Er Bao, they have to bear the consequences.”
She’d made it clear she wasn’t easy to bully—now it was time for her children to show they weren’t easy to bully either.
No matter what mischief they got up to, she wouldn’t confine them just from a parent’s standpoint—but she would still have to teach them how to misbehave without leaving a trace.
Kangxi choked for a moment.
He didn’t have the modern idea that children shouldn’t be exposed to violence.
As princes and princesses, having their own edge was no bad thing.
Fang He made sense…
No, why did he carry the two children over here in the first place?
Kangxi pinched the bridge of his nose and asked, “But what if people start rumors and stir up trouble?”
Fang He smiled even brighter, almost smug, “Now I’m the Imperial Noble Consort, favored above all. My children receive the greatest grace—anyone who dares slander us should be ready for our revenge.”
“They’re not afraid—if we were, wouldn’t that just embarrass Your Majesty?”
Kangxi: “…”
‘It made sense, but something felt off.’
He thought quickly and countered, “Even so, as a prince or princess, they must obey palace rules—otherwise, how can they be proper?”
Fang He pointed at her still swollen children, “So I punished them. If that’s not enough, why not have Liang Jiugong bring a pot of wine?”
Kangxi felt his scalp prickle, “That’s not what I meant—why are you dredging up the past?”
Fang He told Cui Wei to take the children out to wash up and eat, and to coax them to sleep.
Once the children left, Fang He turned a somber look on Kangxi.
“Today was my great day. I had planned to reminisce sweetly with Your Majesty… But now that I think of it, the most unforgettable memories are still that poisoned wine on the dragon boat in Jiangnan, and you tossing me on the dragon bed till I bled and wept…”
“It was my fault…”
“No, it wasn’t!” Fang He, now more at ease with Kangxi than ever, changed her mind about the sentimentality.
Really, there were plenty of ways for old married couples to experience passion!
She walked to the door, turned, and smiled at Kangxi, “You’re right, let’s not mention the past. As for now, the children do need strict teaching. I’ve played the strict one—do you know what’s next, Your Majesty?”
Kangxi hesitated, “Why not tomorrow?”
A cup of tea later, Kangxi experienced the current might of the Imperial Noble Consort—his lips pressed tight from a slight sting, driven from the hall.