Lü Lingbi frowned deeply when she heard this, clearly not reassured—on the contrary, she looked even more troubled.
She looked at Xu Duoyan, who, though biologically male, dressed and styled himself like a woman.
Her heart ached with guilt, and tears welled in her eyes.
“Ah Yan, you don’t have to say that to ease my burden. It’s me who dragged you into this…”
Xu Duoyan reached up and wiped the tears from his mother’s face.
Frowning, he said,
“Mother, why bring this up again?”
“I made one wrong decision after another,”
Lü Lingbi shook her head painfully, “and now you have to live like this, not even able to lead a normal life. I should never have agreed.”
Xu Duoyan sighed helplessly.
Seeing his mother cry was far more painful than living in disguise: “This was my choice. If you must blame something, blame the cruel times we live in.”
In truth, the family hadn’t been poor back then.
Lü Lingbi was born into a wealthy household.
She was originally from the city of Fucheng, born to a concubine.
Because of her beauty, her father and the official wife planned to marry her off as a concubine to the local magistrate.
But she strongly opposed the match.
Though becoming a concubine was already humiliating, the magistrate was also over fifty.
Young and strong-willed, Lü Lingbi resisted fiercely.
When crying and hunger strikes proved useless, she escaped one night, cutting ties with her family.
After fleeing, she met Xu’s father.
They got married and had Xu Duoyan.
Though not from a wealthy background, Xu’s father was capable and hardworking.
The family lived peacefully for a few years.
Unfortunately, war broke out.
Xu’s father enlisted and never returned.
Lü Lingbi knew that soldiers were like ants in war, but she still held on to the hope that he might return, waiting endlessly at home.
Not long after, war reached their county.
Villagers fled in all directions.
Lü Lingbi had no choice but to escape with her young son.
The mother and son became drifters, facing hardship after hardship until they finally settled in Tonggou Village.
By then, Lü Lingbi was already suffering from multiple illnesses, surviving only through sheer will to protect her son and the hope that her husband might return.
Though they were safe from war, they were penniless.
They didn’t even own a house—the village chief kindly offered them an abandoned one.
Lü Lingbi, too sick to work, was rejected even by landowners for tenant farming.
Facing starvation or death, they learned the wealthy Qian family in town was hiring servant girls for household chores.
Xu Duoyan was thin and small—he looked like a girl.
With no other options, he dressed as a maid and pretended to be mute, going to apply.
The Qian family steward, seeing his clean looks and strong build, thought he was fit for chores like stoking fires and washing clothes.
Being mute was even a plus.
He was hired.
For several years, Xu Duoyan did hard labor at the Qian household.
He never spoke, worked diligently, and the steward, knowing his mother was ill, even made sure his monthly wages—around 100 wen—were paid fully.
They survived with those earnings.
Lü Lingbi earned extra from embroidery and copying texts.
In a flash, five or six years passed, and Xu Duoyan, though a man, had reached “marriageable age” in his female guise.
Though poor, his looks inherited from his mother attracted many suitors.
This alarmed the mother and son.
Xu Duoyan realized he was now grown, and returning to his male identity would prevent marriage proposals and allow broader job options.
However, everyone in the village thought he was a girl.
If he suddenly changed identities, even if people didn’t care, the Qian family might not forgive the deception.
Once the bow is drawn, there’s no turning back.
The situation had become dangerously complicated.
Their only option: leave the village.
But that needed money and a plan.
For two years, they saved as much as they could, preparing to escape and start over where no one knew them.
But things never go as planned.
Xu Duoyan rejected every proposal.
Most suitors accepted rejection gracefully, but not all.
One man—Zheng Kui, cousin of Cao Wen—was particularly shameless.
Zheng Kui, a steward at the Qian household, was disliked but feared by tenants.
He sometimes crossed paths with Xu Duoyan and grew infatuated, despite being married.
After repeated cold shoulders, he began sabotaging Xu’s work and got him fired.
Then, shockingly, he went to Xu’s house with a marriage proposal, claiming it was from his cousin.
Xu Duoyan detested him and refused.
But Zheng Kui threatened: if he didn’t agree, he’d make their lives miserable in the village.
Fearing what Zheng Kui might do, Xu Duoyan reluctantly agreed—for now.
He planned to take the bride price, stall for time, and use the money to escape with his mother.
Yes, his plan from the beginning was to use Cao Wen to buy time and money.
Yet, even when Cao Wen offered money, Xu Duoyan refused.
Why?
In such a desperate world, why didn’t he take it?
Maybe it was pride.
Or maybe he sensed that Cao Wen, unlike Zheng Kui, wasn’t truly malicious—and didn’t want to deceive him further.
“Mother, don’t worry. I’ll save up. I’ll get us out of here soon,”
Xu Duoyan suddenly said.
It sounded like he was reassuring Lü Lingbi, but perhaps he was also reminding himself.
“Ah Yan…”
Lü Lingbi looked at him.
A mother knows her son—she could read his every emotion.
Grabbing his hand, she asked seriously,
“Did he…?”
Xu Duoyan’s brows twitched.
Though she didn’t finish, he knew what she meant.
He quickly said,
“No!”
Seeing her still suspicious, he added,
“If he had, would I be standing here fine? Mother, does that kid look like someone who’s into men? On the way back, he nearly popped his eyes out staring at Widow Qin.”
As soon as he said it, he noticed his mother’s surprise and frowned—why was he even telling her that?
Feeling awkward, he was about to say more when a voice called from outside: “Madam Xu, Duoyan came home today, huh~”
Hearing the voice, Lü Lingbi’s eyes moved slightly, and Xu Duoyan fell silent.
They both walked outside.
A young man with a hoe was standing outside.
Seeing them, he looked past Lü Lingbi at Xu Duoyan.
“I passed Widow Qin’s house just now and saw a stranger. I wondered who it was, thought he looked like Duoyan’s husband. So I came over to check—turns out it really was Duoyan!”
Hearing this, the mother and son’s faces turned a bit grim.
It was clearly said to provoke them.
This man had once proposed marriage too—and now he’d come to mock them.
Xu Duoyan smiled lightly: “We were out of salt at home, so I asked him to go borrow some.”
The man didn’t quite understand what Xu meant, so Lü Lingbi repeated it for him.
“Really? I thought he went there on his own. After all, everyone knows what kind of person Widow Qin is. Flies just love rotten meat. Ugh, listen to me talk. I’m just too blunt—don’t take it to heart, Duoyan.”
He grinned.
“If you’re out of salt, just come to my house! Isn’t it closer than Widow Qin’s place?”
“I thought you wouldn’t be home at this hour. Happened to run into Qin Xieyue, so he went to their place,” Xu replied.
The man scratched the back of his head,
“Oh~ I see. That works too.”
Lü Lingbi said,
“Daniu, would you like to come in and sit for a bit? Stay for lunch before heading back. Ah Yan and I were just about to cook.”
Hearing this, the man quickly waved his hand.
“No need, Madam Xu, Duoyan—you two go ahead. The sun’s high already and I’ve still got work left in the fields.”
Once the man had gone far enough, Xu Duoyan’s polite and pleasant expression vanished.
He glanced once in the direction of Qin Xieyue’s house, then quickly looked away, unaware that his brows had furrowed.
Lü Lingbi, observing her son’s expression, quietly said,
“Go call him back.”
Xu Duoyan immediately signed to her with his hands: “Why should I go call him? He can go wherever he wants! If he’s really with Qin Xieyue, maybe it’s not such a bad thing after all.”
Lü Lingbi looked at her son quietly and said nothing.
Under her steady gaze, Xu Duoyan started to feel uneasy.
He slowly lowered his hands.
Lü Lingbi turned toward the kitchen and said,
“If you won’t go, then go rest inside. You probably haven’t had a moment of peace even at the Cao household. Get some rest—I’ll make lunch. Eat before you go back…”
“I’ll go call him back if you really want me to.”
Xu Duoyan stood under the eaves, glanced around to make sure no one was outside, then said this quietly to Lü Lingbi.
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