Feeling the cold wind pouring into the room, Chi Qingya finally felt a little better.
Dragging her exhausted body, she boiled a kettle of hot water for herself, then stayed far away from the nearby dining table.
Chi Qingya curled herself up, resting her head on her knees, staring blankly at the shadows cast by the light in front of her.
She didn’t even know what she was thinking about— her head just felt foggy and heavy.
If she passed out at home and didn’t go to school, would Su Li come to check on her?
In a daze, that thought floated through Chi Qingya’s mind, but the sound of the boiling water quickly snapped her out of it.
She dragged her weary body, carrying the freshly boiled water, back into the bathroom, intending to wash herself clean with the hot water.
Her gaze briefly flicked toward Su Li’s room, but she quickly looked away and hurried into the bathroom without another glance.
Warm water trickled slowly down her pale skin, and only then did her fuzzy, clouded mind feel a bit clearer.
Not even the earlier cold wind had been able to wake her up like this.
She wasn’t even sure how she finished washing.
Maybe she had scrubbed every corner of her body, or maybe she only stopped when the kettle ran dry.
Chi Qingya stepped out of the bathroom again, and this time, the stench in the air was noticeably lighter.
She didn’t bother cleaning the mess on the floor. That could wait for a cleaning lady to deal with later.
She was exhausted—truly exhausted.
Wrapped in a towel and about to head back to her room to sleep, her head throbbed with pain.
But as she passed by Su Li’s room again, her body moved on its own, and she walked in, lying down on Su Li’s bed.
The bed still seemed to carry traces of Su Li’s scent.
Her body felt warm, almost feverish.
Compared to the lingering stench of spoiled food, the smell in Su Li’s room was so pleasant— too pleasant.
She couldn’t help but breathe it in deeply, again and again.
Chi Qingya didn’t know whether she liked it or hated it— she just couldn’t resist the urge to breathe it in.
She was like a child who had been away from home for years, finally returning to her mother’s embrace, greedily inhaling the scent of the room, her nose starting to sting again with a wave of helpless sorrow.
Why? Why did she have to go through something so humiliating…
“Su Li… Su Li…”
Chi Qingya murmured Su Li’s name softly. At some point, crystalline tears slipped down her smooth neck and dripped onto the bed.
She didn’t even notice. She just kept her eyes tightly shut, her mind replaying scenes of being with Su Li.
That quiet night, when the glow of the setting sun streamed through the classroom window.
As soon as the dismissal bell rang, the rest of the students hurried out, heading for the cafeteria.
It was Friday, after all— the weekend was just around the corner, and there were no evening classes. Laughter echoed as groups of students left together.
She didn’t have many friends, so she never left with the others.
In fact, for certain reasons, she often stayed behind alone to clean the classroom.
Everyone was curious about the new student who had just transferred into their class.
More than a few had greeted Su Li.
She looked delicate and pitiful, easy to pity, yet she gave off an air that warned others to keep their distance.
Her face remained expressionless, as if she didn’t know how to smile or cry.
Chi Qingya had also been drawn in by Su Li’s appearance, but unlike the others, she never tried to greet her.
Or maybe, she just didn’t deserve to greet Su Li.
She was the student on cleaning duty that day— or rather, she was on cleaning duty every day that week.
So that was how she got the chance to be close to Su Li, slowly approaching her and asking why she wasn’t going to eat.
From there, a connection began to form between them, and eventually, she brought Su Li home.
“Su Li…”
Chi Qingya murmured softly, her slender fingers clutching tightly at the bedsheet beneath her, as if she were gripping Su Li’s clothes instead.
Clothes…
Something seemed to flash through her mind. Just as she was about to open her eyes and get up to head to the balcony, she remembered—
The clothes she had left for Su Li, fearing they might be found by her girlfriends and used to mock her, had already been thrown into the trash by herself.
Chi Qingya’s long legs tensed and pressed together in frustration, then began to gently rub against each other.
Curled up, she suddenly remembered a bright, sunny afternoon from before.
It had been a weekend, so there wasn’t much going on.
Su Li always had so many odd little questions.
Answering them felt like guiding a naive child through the world, and it gave her a strange sense of fulfillment.
No matter what Su Li did, she was always so earnest.
That day, she had been fiddling with a mobile game, completely focused.
Sunlight fell on her pale cheeks, making her look like a fairy stepping out of a painting.
Chi Qingya couldn’t help but sneak a kiss on her.
At first, Su Li had been a little flustered when someone got too close, but she still gently guided her, gradually teaching her how to respond.
When their hair brushed together and warmth passed through their clothes, Chi Qingya suddenly realized she had grasped Su Li’s slender, fair wrist.
The faint scent of neroli on the pillow— identical to the one on Su Li— brought her back to that first day they met, when Su Li had held her hand and taught her how to kiss.
She could still recall the heat of her touch.
But now that familiar scent was tinged with an unfamiliar heat, making her unconsciously tighten her grip on the sheet.
Only when the warm air from the AC brushed against her ankles did she realize she had wrapped herself up like a cocoon, and the sweat from her feet had already soaked through the blanket.
“Su Li…”
Her muffled voice dissolved into the darkness as Chi Qingya buried her face into the pillow Su Li had once used.
Ever since they’d started deliberately keeping their distance, those quiet afternoons sharing bubble tea had become a web that trapped her heart, tugging painfully at it.
In this moment, she suddenly wished she could return to that afternoon, wished she could reach from behind to hold Su Li’s trembling wrist and gently guide her hands as she used her phone.
The pothos on the windowsill swayed gently under the moonlight, just like the umbrella they had once shared on a rainy night.
Chi Qingya hugged the blanket tighter and shut her eyes firmly.
Wrapped in a quilt that still carried Su Li’s scent, she felt as if she were being held tightly in Su Li’s arms.
“Su… Su Li…”