“You’re acting like a fool, seriously.”
I laughed at myself in disbelief.
I couldn’t believe I was still weighed down by something from a life that no longer existed, with a person who no longer existed.
We were broken off, time had passed, he had disappeared… I had thought Pedro meant nothing to me anymore.
Even after finding out that he had deceived me, the things he crushed and dismissed left scars that still bound me.
“I thought it was all over, but it wasn’t.”
I sighed.
Only then did I realize I hadn’t overcome it.
I don’t love Pedro anymore.
In fact, I hate him.
But if he truly meant nothing to me now, I wouldn’t even feel that hatred.
The very existence of that feeling meant I was still clinging to him.
“It’s hard.”
I had never gone through something like this before, so I didn’t know what to do.
It was awkward to talk to anyone about it.
My family knew me too well — they would immediately know something was off.
“Because it’s something only I remember.”
As I sat in thought, not knowing what to do with this newfound truth, Ray moved his hand and brushed my hair, then let go.
It looked like he was going to pin the brooch back to my collar, but instead, he attached it like a pin below one ear of the bunny doll.
“Do you think it doesn’t suit the doll either?”
The white-furred doll was lighter in color than my hair, but the cream-colored pearl looked good on it.
“…It suits it.”
When I shook my head, Ray finally smiled brightly.
That’s when I remembered he had once said the bunny doll looked just like me.
What Ray really wanted to say was this: if the bunny doll that resembled me looked good with the pearl, then so would I.
“Seiana, you’re smart, so why are you thinking such foolish things?”
“…Someone once told me pearls didn’t suit me and looked weird.”
I hesitated before blurting it out.
It was hard to talk about with family because they knew me too well, but Ray didn’t know me that well yet — it felt less burdensome.
Hearing that, Ray pouted and once again called me a fool.
“You were tricked by some idiot who doesn’t know you.”
“Idiot… yeah, I guess so.”
Ha.
His blunt honesty made me laugh.
When I laughed, Ray laughed too.
We ended up holding our stomachs, laughing together for a while.
And as the laughter faded…
“So who’s the idiot?”
***
Raymund visited Seiana the very next day after receiving her permission, simply because he missed her.
He actually knew he should’ve arranged the visit’s date and time, but pretended not to.
People would overlook it anyway even if he broke the rules.
Even before becoming a gifted one, etiquette had always been more formality than necessity.
No one scolded him for not following it.
And after becoming a symbol of fear as a gifted one… even more so.
“Visits should always be arranged in advance to follow proper etiquette.”
So when Seiana’s brother Sincere said that, Raymund was taken aback.
People avoided speaking directly to Raymund because every word exchanged with him could extend the time spent facing him.
Whether he was right or wrong, they would just bow their heads.
Sincere clearly feared Raymund too, yet still spoke out — maybe because of a unique personality, or maybe out of sincere loyalty and concern.
Raymund couldn’t tell.
Raymund suddenly grew wary.
He worried Seiana might dislike him for getting scolded by her brother over his careless mistake.
He tried to excuse himself by saying it was just a friendly visit.
But when Sincere pointed out that even such a small mistake could lead to Seiana being attacked instead of him, Raymund snapped back to his senses.
“I didn’t know.”
Raymund never kept anyone close, so he had never considered the possibility of someone else being hurt by his actions.
It was Seiana who stepped in to shield the flustered Raymund.
“Just don’t make the same mistake next time.”
She stepped in front of Sincere as if to say “That’s enough,” siding with Raymund.
Seeing her stand by him, even in conflict with her beloved family, Raymund felt deeply happy.
It made him glad — that she had chosen him over her family.
Once Seiana took his side, Sincere stopped talking.
It seemed he had only scolded Raymund as a warning: that if he kept acting recklessly, Seiana would be the one to suffer.
Raymund wasn’t angry, because he knew it came from concern for his precious sister.
Still, he couldn’t help feeling a bit dissatisfied.
“He could’ve said it when Seiana wasn’t around.”
What if she thought he was a fool after hearing that?
Raymund almost pouted.
Anyway, the formalities ended there, and he took Seiana’s hand as they headed to her room.
The wallpaper was soft and calming like Seiana herself.
The carpet was thick and plush, like cotton or grass — it seemed like even if someone fell, they wouldn’t get hurt.
Her family had clearly put much thought into her safety.
The room’s layout was ordinary: cabinets, a desk, bookshelves, a sofa, and some cushions — nothing out of the ordinary.
Near the entrance was a display cabinet filled with dolls — some human-shaped, others animal-shaped.
Seiana commented: “It must be a boring room for a boy, right?”
As if.
Raymund chuckled to himself.
Everything in the room fascinated him — not because he liked dolls, but because everything here reflected what Seiana liked.
He was curious about everything related to her: what she liked, disliked, and what he could do to be loved the most.
But Seiana wasn’t just being polite — she really seemed apologetic, though he didn’t understand why.
Raymund wanted to say he liked everything to comfort her, but worried she might find that strange.
So instead, he looked toward the display cabinet and asked,
“Which one is your favorite?”
He felt he already knew the answer.
Amid all the dazzling, jewel-decorated dolls, there was one plain doll — placed where Seiana could easily see it.
A white bunny doll.
Unlike the others, it had beaded eyes instead of gems, and its only decoration was a short ribbon around its neck.
While the other dolls looked ready for a ball, this one was simple and modest.
That alone made it special.
As he expected, Seiana chose that one.
“It looks like Seiana.”
White fur and blue eyes.
Raymund wanted to touch it but hesitated.
People didn’t like it when he touched things.
He was always cautious with other people’s belongings.
He figured Seiana wouldn’t mind — it was hers, after all — but he didn’t want to risk it.
So he just stood there.
“It was the first gift I ever received.”
Raymond felt envy at Seiana’s whispering voice.
It wasn’t envy because of the gift she received, but rather because Seiana had become the first to receive it.
It was ridiculous that she, who had received the gift, was envious of the one who gave it, who was likely her father, the Count, and of the inanimate objects she was jealous of.
Raymond couldn’t help but let out a self-deprecating laugh at her own behavior.
“It’s not expensive. It’s just that as soon as I was born, my father hurriedly went to buy it nearby.”
The first gift for his newborn daughter, and the first friend she would have, was not even a custom-made doll.
It was just a doll she found at the toy store she had stopped by to find a companion for her daughter.
Nevertheless, since it resembled her, if this wasn’t fate, what else could be?
Seeing Seiana smiling softly, as if reminiscing, Raymond impulsively spoke.
“It looks like you, Seiana.”
At those words, Seiana opened her eyes wide, as if she hadn’t expected to hear that.
It seemed like she hadn’t thought of it at all. Seeing her like that, Raymond couldn’t help but smile.
“It’s white and blue. And…”
Cute, warm… something she wanted to pet or hug.
She couldn’t say the rest of the sentence, worried it might sound strange, but Raymond raised a finger and poked Seiana’s cheek gently.
Her soft and smooth skin wrapped around his finger.
“It’s soft.”
“Th-That’s not it!”
Seiana blushed, and in embarrassment, she shoved the rabbit doll, which she had taken from the shelf, into Raymond’s arms, almost as if to hand it over.
It was as if she was protesting that she wasn’t soft, but Raymond thought it was no different from the rabbit doll she held in her arms.
‘Seiana is such a fool. She looks just like it.’
Why does she keep denying it?
With difficulty, Raymond suppressed his laughter as he stroked the doll.
The fur that touched the palm of his hand was soft and warm.
This really felt like a reflection of Seiana herself.
He was tempted to keep it, but since it belonged to her, he couldn’t be greedy.
“Then, what do you like next?”
Not the doll, but something else.
Raymond asked, wanting to know Seiana’s preferences.
Even though it wasn’t a difficult question, Seiana froze as if she had never heard such a question before.
Then, her face darkened as if recalling something, and Raymond’s heart skipped a beat.
He couldn’t understand why she made that face.
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