Chapter 30: Rudella Bismark Part 5

It has already been two days since Yohan and Rudella hid in the cave.

Although Rudella, who had trouble sleeping even with the underbrush spread on the cave floor, had not adapted well initially, she was now able to rest enough to alleviate her fatigue.

“How are you feeling?”

Yohan, just back from outside, asked.

His deep blue eyes were relaxed.

However, there was something strangely alluring about his appearance, and Rudella momentarily swallowed hard.

“I’m fine, but…”

Barely keeping her composure, Rudella looked at Yohan’s face and abdomen with worry.

His wounds were getting deeper.

“Are you okay? Your face is pale.”

“I’m fine. I stopped the bleeding properly.”

Yohan placed two rabbits he had caught near the campfire and sat back against the cave wall.

“You caught rabbits again.”

“They’re the easiest to catch and provide good nutrition.”

There was no point in trying to catch wild boars, and they didn’t have the energy for anything else.

Given the environment, finding fruits was also difficult.

“Please bear with it a little longer.”

“I’ve never expressed any dissatisfaction…”

“You seem to be getting tired of rabbits.”

Yohan chuckled, a bright smile lighting up his pale face, which was uncharacteristic of his current state.

Seeing his smile, Rudella found herself wanting to smile back.

Desperately suppressing her honest feelings, she averted her gaze, her ears turning bright red.

“…Only three days left.”

Rudella awkwardly shifted the subject, turning her eyes away.

Yohan, who had his eyes closed, looked at her.

“Yes.”

“What are your plans?”

“First, I intend to wait.”

“What do you plan to do by waiting?”

“I need to let them know our location.”

Seeing Rudella tilt her head slightly, Yohan continued to explain.

“The officials who have figured out our movement route will discover the blown-up bridge. Naturally, they will have to check this cliff as well. We will leave at that time.”

Rudella slowly nodded.

“I see…”

“Please bear with it a little longer, even if it’s frustrating. It’s for the safety of Lady Bismark.”

“I understand.”

After saying that, Yohan smiled softly.

His pale and haggard face radiated a decadent charm that made Rudella’s heart race.

“Ahem.”

She tried to clear her throat to hide her trembling heart, but the emotions swirling inside her did not settle easily.

Feeling heat rise to her ears, Rudella abruptly turned her head and rubbed her wrist.

Every time she made eye contact with him, her heart raced.

It was an awkward feeling, unfamiliar yet oddly not unpleasant.

The excitement and fluttering of her heart felt pleasantly vibrant.

Crackle crackle.

The sound of the campfire crackling filled the quiet cave as the fire blazed, the sound of breaking firewood resonating.

Yohan, looking at the firewood, suddenly broke the awkward silence.

“Lady Bismark, do you have any hobbies?”

His voice was cautious.

Yohan was worried that he might have broached the wrong topic and glanced at her for clues.

“Hobbies…”

Rudella, absentmindedly gazing into the void beyond the campfire, rested her chin on her hand.

Her sky-blue eyes flickered delicately in the light.

“I never had the time to enjoy such things. As a crown princess, I had to handle many duties, and there was much to learn.”

Amid the flickering of the campfire, Rudella’s face darkened momentarily.

Her words were tinged with exhaustion, but they seemed dulled as if her senses had grown numb.

“The fate of becoming a queen did not allow me any time. I had to live each day fiercely, engaging in duties and learning how to serve the monarch.”

To lighten the heavy atmosphere, Yohan asked again, “Did you not have any hobbies during your childhood or while attending the academy?”

“That’s right. I had to balance both study and duties even then.”

“Then how do you relieve the stress from work and studying?”

“…Is it really necessary to relieve it?”

Rudella tilted her head slightly, blinking slowly as she replied with a dry tone.

“No…”

Yohan paused at her answer.

Rudella had an expression of genuine confusion, as if she had never acknowledged the concept of “stress” before.

‘The more I learn, the more I understand why Rudella was that character.’

When a person is under extreme stress, they inevitably collapse.

And the wreckage of those shattered emotions often gets reassembled in distorted ways.

The cold and cruel side of Rudella Bismark that he had seen in the works must have stemmed from this constant oppression and loneliness.

“…I believe it’s good to relieve stress to some extent. One of the main reasons people fall ill is due to stress.”

Rudella looked at Yohan quietly after his words.

The reflection of the campfire danced in her eyes.

“How?”

“Well…”

Yohan scratched his chin, pondering for a moment.

He felt at a loss as to what hobbies he could suggest to her.

The simplest answer would likely be best in this situation.

“Try doing many things and see what you enjoy. It can be anything that has piqued your interest.”

Rudella nodded slightly, stroking her chin with her fingertips.

She appeared lost in thought.

“…Since I’ve only focused on studying and duties, I don’t have any particular interests, and I can’t try many things. I simply don’t have the time.”

“Ah.”

Yohan closed his eyes.

He felt foolish.

After all, Rudella had never been given such options in the first place.

“…I spoke thoughtlessly.”

“That’s not true. I also find it amusing that I said that.”

Rudella looked at the campfire, faintly smiling.

Yet, there was a hint of loneliness in that smile.

“…I’m worried about Lady Bismark.”

“Why is that?”

“Because you feel somewhat broken.”

Rudella blinked and quietly accepted his words.

A moment of silence passed between them.

“Oh, I don’t mean to belittle Lady Bismark. It’s just that you seem like someone whose emotions and sensibilities are broken, perhaps…”

In any case, that is what I mean.

For a person, two essential things are immediate and tangible responses, emotions.

And the emotional tendencies that arise from the accumulation of such feelings, sensitivity.

Rudella had both of these things broken.

“Hmm. Perhaps that could be true.”

She simply smiled calmly.

That smile was a self-deprecating acceptance of her own brokenness.

“I may not be able to help, but I must say this.”

“What is it?”

“If such a life continues, one day you will become properly broken, and it will be irreversible.”

“…Is that so? Will I break?”

Rudella hugged her knees tightly at his serious words, her face hardening.

“Well, please don’t take it too seriously; just think of it as my meddling. I can’t take responsibility for Lady Bismark.”

Rudella drew lines around her eyes as she spoke.

“Can’t you take responsibility for me?”

“…What?”

Yohan’s face went blank.

For a moment, the scent of lilies wafted through.

Despite being in this musty cave, the scent of lilies engraved on her did not fade away.

“You are asking me to take responsibility for you.”

‘What is this person talking about?’ Yohan’s eyes widened.

He didn’t know what to say.

“Ha ha, I’m just joking.”

Seeing Yohan’s reaction, Rudella chuckled softly and caressed her wrist with her fingertips.

It was an unconscious action to hide this strange excitement.

Me.

“I never expected you to make such jokes.”

“Is that not allowed?”

“Not that it’s not allowed, but…”

It’s just unfamiliar.

Who would have guessed that a person designated as a top priority like the crown prince, Cassis, would make such a joke in this situation?

Rudella said, “You mentioned earlier, right? To think of ways to relieve stress. I feel like this is it.”

“Right now?”

“Yes. I’m enjoying this time spent having a small conversation with you. It’s a bit strange, but I feel a peculiar emotion.”

She buried her lips in her hugged knees.

Seeing her ears turn red, it was clear she was feeling shy.

“Then call me when you’re feeling stressed. Didn’t you say you would call often?”

“I would like to, but unfortunately, if I have official duties, I won’t have time for that.”

“You are mistaken. Time is not something that is given; it is something that is made.”

“Is that so?”

“Indeed.”

Yohan added while looking at the ceiling of the cave.

“You should find a way. Just say you have something to do while you briefly look around the area and then call me for guard duty.”

“Isn’t that… deceiving others?”

“That’s how you create time. What does it matter if you deceive someone? It’s not like you’re harming them with this.”

As Yohan gazed at her with bright eyes and a refreshing smile, Rudella quickly turned her gaze away.

“I will keep that in mind.”

“Yes. Remember.”

As the conversation ended, an awkward atmosphere began to flow.

Feeling the air grow heavy, Rudella muttered softly.

“It’s getting cold.”

“Ah, that makes sense.”

It was right after the rain, and everything was damp, causing the temperature to drop.

Yohan stood up and moved to sit beside her.

“Hold my hand.”

“…My hand?”

“It’s a simple magic.”

Yohan lightly smiled and extended his hand.

Rudella hesitated, but when he gently wrapped his hand around hers first, a slight current flowed through her fingertips.

As she distinctly felt Yohan’s touch, Rudella momentarily lost her breath.

His fingertips were rough, yet surprisingly soft and warm.

Realizing that his slightly loosened blue eyes were directed at her, Rudella’s heart raced uncontrollably.

She tried to exert strength to hide her trembling hand, but her heart didn’t calm down.

As Yohan’s blue eyes met hers softly, the sound echoing in her chest grew louder.

“I’m glad it feels warm.”

Yohan looked at her with a cheerful smile.

Rudella’s breath momentarily caught.

“…Thank you.”

Tap tap.

The campfire crackled.

“But is it alright to use magic? Didn’t you say your mana could be tracked…?”

“After some time, it should be fine. Still, I can’t stay in one place for too long since it might be against the rules.”

Holding Rudella’s hand, Yohan gazed at the gentle light of the campfire.

“It’s warm like this.”

With his words, warmth slowly seeped into her body.

Yohan’s body had a faint scent of rain and earth.

The warmth transmitted through their hands felt awkward at first, but gradually, Rudella felt herself becoming drowsy in that warmth.

Her heart continued to race as she stole glances at Yohan’s profile through her half-closed eyelids.

She subtly leaned over and rested her head on Yohan’s shoulder.

Yohan flinched for a moment but did not firmly reject her.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

Rudella’s heart pounded wildly.

Was it because of that, or was it the campfire that was warming her body?

She couldn’t tell if this feeling was excitement or just simple comfort.

However, she thought it unnecessary to define that meaning.

For now, she just wanted to enjoy this comfortable and peaceful time.