Today’s dream was strange.
There were no grotesque corpses like something out of a splatter movie trying to grab my collar,
nor did food drenched in artificial seasoning disappear before my eyes like Tantalus’ punishment.
All that happened was that I met a beautiful woman in my dream.
Her skin was as soft as white jade—so clear and smooth.
It seemed to glow faintly even in the dark room, as if it was imbued with moonlight.
Her sensual silhouette felt like a masterpiece, full of splendor and beauty.
The two full fruits of her chest swayed with such gravity that I couldn’t help but gasp.
Even if I included the real world, calling her the most beautiful being in existence wouldn’t be an exaggeration.
She literally transcended human beauty.
Yet, in the dream, I was angry.
Very angry.
I roughly touched her body, asserting control and dominance.
I pinned her head down as she cried out apologies, but I didn’t accept them.
We smothered each other’s breaths, explored one another, and pressed skin against skin.
How much time passed like that, I don’t know.
By the time we were leaning into each other, entwined—
Suddenly, I woke up.
Cold morning air filled my lungs.
Through the warm morning sunlight, I saw the dusty view of my room.
I touched my forehead with my hand.
“…At this age, a wet dream?”
And with such an intensely sadistic theme.
Too shameful to tell anyone.
“…Tsk.”
I assumed it was because I had gone to bed with a troubled mind the night before.
Otherwise, it made no sense.
With the liver and stamina of a barbarian, I didn’t even need milk thistle.
Even when I fell into deep sleep, I usually woke up after a few hours.
But now, it was already morning—
Meaning I had slept through the entire day.
“Well, at least it wasn’t a nightmare.”
I tried to get out of bed.
“…Mmm.”
That’s when I sensed another presence nearby.
Just about a hand’s width away.
The unknown intruder slowly raised her upper body.
“…Yaaawn.”
She let out a small yawn with her tiny mouth.
Stretching her body like a cat, she let out a groaning sound that was almost a purr.
As I got distracted by her pale underarm, the worn-out bedding that had covered her slid down.
But she didn’t care and seemed too tired to hold herself up.
…First of all,
it was clear she wasn’t the same woman from my dream.
Not that I had a concrete reason—
But in the important areas, the difference was as vast as heaven and earth—no, more like the core of the universe.
“She’s basically average for the Middle Ages.”
She ate little, so naturally her weight, height, and chest size differed greatly.
Anyway.
As I stared at her silently without a word, she must have noticed my gaze.
She opened her eyes halfway, tilted her head with a sly smile.
“Good morning.”
Then added,
“Even among the eternal span of time, this morning is one of the rare ones that feels truly pleasant.”
“…I don’t remember hiring a prostitute.”
Still, it was an unforgettable morning.
004. The One Who Mistakenly Believes She’s a Goddess
Even if I had ended up living inside a game—
Specifically, a medieval fantasy world—
It didn’t mean my mindset had changed.
So, I kept my distance from the sex workers in this world.
Partly because of the threat of STDs,
Which not even my traits like [Poison Resistance] or [Disease Resistance] might protect me from.
There were times I almost gave in to temptation,
But thanks to their overpowering perfume and the sight of greasy grime stains,
I managed to escape those situations.
Grateful, and… not so grateful, I guess.
The hygiene standards of the Middle Ages… sigh.
At any rate.
It seemed all my efforts had gone to waste.
A man and a woman woke up naked in the same bed—there weren’t many other explanations to consider.
In fact, there was physical evidence left on the bed as well.
I let out a sigh internally.
I couldn’t understand how this woman (too tall to be called a “girl”) ended up in my bed, spending the night with me.
While I was deep in thought, the woman who had been stretching to ease her stiffness turned her head toward me.
Her golden eyes were striking.
I had seen many different types and colors of eyes in this world, but I couldn’t recall many that shone with such intensity.
Her naturally flowing black hair was equally elegant.
It looked like it reached down to her waist—a rare sight in the medieval era, where such long hair was hard to manage.
It reminded me of the night sky.
“…She really is pretty.”
At the very least, she didn’t look like a common prostitute you’d find in this kind of village.
A royal concubine—no, not even that.
There was a kind of divine aura around her that was hard to describe.
We stared at each other without speaking.
Unlike the woman from my dream, perhaps because of her slender figure, I didn’t feel any vulgar lust stirring inside me.
“How much should I be paying a top-class prostitute anyway?”
Just as I was wondering that and focusing on her appearance—
Knock knock.
A knock came from outside the door.
“…Uh, excuse me…”
The tone was polite, but the voice belonged to the innkeeper I saw yesterday.
Even with my superhuman senses, I hadn’t heard her footsteps in the hallway while I was this focused.
Didn’t even notice her coming.
But that wasn’t the important part right now.
Click.
The doorknob began to turn.
Just like last night, I hadn’t locked the door.
I quickly jumped out of bed and grabbed the handle.
The old wooden floor groaned under the weight of my heavy body.
Crack.
My grip was a bit too strong.
That was the end of that doorknob’s life—but I had at least succeeded in my goal of keeping the door shut.
Without flinching at the noise, I said,
“…I’ll be out shortly. Please wait a moment.”
“Ah, yes. Understood.”
She seemed to sense something was off, but thankfully didn’t press the issue and went back downstairs.
I let out a quiet breath of relief as I heard her footsteps fade.
Now, the rumor that the barbarian who saved the village had a wild night with a prostitute wouldn’t spread.
Turning around, I saw the woman still sitting in the same posture, silently watching me.
Her gaze was incredibly intense and uncomfortable.
First things first, I hurriedly put on the clothes scattered next to the bed.
Pulled up my pants, fastened my belt.
Put on my coarse linen shirt, draped my dark robe over my shoulders.
Once I slipped on my thick leather shoes, I was back to how I looked when I entered the room.
No armor—
The body of a barbarian was tougher than any poorly made armor anyway.
I grabbed my axe as well…
Now what?
I met the woman’s gaze.
First, a question.
“…About last night—I don’t really remember what happened. Could you explain it to me?”
A perfectly irresponsible line for a barbarian.
So, I quickly brainwashed myself: I am a barbarian. I am a barbarian. I am—
The woman smiled.
The room seemed to brighten all at once.
Her half-closed eyes narrowed even more, and the golden glow in them deepened.
In that mood, she opened her mouth.
“It’s truly sad.”
I had noticed it earlier too—her way of speaking was a bit odd.
“You spent the night with a goddess and failed to recognize her? That’s how much it hurt. The goddess’s body is still aching from it.”
I nodded.
Yeah.
It was clear now—she was absolutely, completely out of her mind.
I went downstairs and tossed a silver coin to the innkeeper behind the counter.
“Repair cost.”
“…Excuse me?”
The innkeeper looked at me, half in fear, half in confusion.
She seemed surprised at the sudden generosity.
It was, of course, for the doorknob I had just broken.
Not knowing this, the innkeeper simply waited for an explanation, unable to ask.
But her curiosity didn’t last long.
“Wait a moment. I need to get dressed too, don’t I?”
Trailing behind me with small hurried steps was the strange-speaking woman—an apparent lunatic who believed herself to be a goddess.
“Uh.”
Upon seeing the woman, the innkeeper made a glitched noise like a broken machine.
Her eyes stayed fixed in place, not moving.
Her gaze followed me all the way until I left the inn.
And that odd phenomenon continued out in the village.
“…Wow.”
“…Insane.”
That’s all I heard.
Everyone I passed—men and women alike—muttered short words of amazement.
And this was them holding back because of me.
If I hadn’t been there, who knows what would’ve happened?
I glanced around at the villagers and guessed:
‘She’s not from this village.’
No one looked like they recognized her.
And she didn’t seem like a courtesan traveling with a merchant caravan either.
As I thought about it, one possibility struck me.
‘…A witch, maybe?’
A being from the game.
They cast more curses than spells, and for some reason, hated all intelligent life—humans, elves, dwarves included.
The reason I suspected she might be a witch was simple.
She had unnatural beauty.
And in the game, witches would disguise themselves with illusions, luring male characters in to steal their hearts—literally.
“This random encounter is getting out of hand.”
Maybe she needed a barbarian’s heart or something.
Still, I wasn’t sure yet.
I turned around and looked at the woman still following me.
“Oh, finally looking at your goddess, are you?”
I ignored her and instead—
Gently tugged on her cheek.
It felt like a handcrafted rice cake made by a master artisan.
“…Ith thith aggresive behavior?”
She looked at me with disbelief, her words muffled by her squished cheek.
In the game, if you physically damaged a witch’s illusion, their true (usually hideous) form would appear.
But nothing changed with her.
The texture was still the same, her squished face still looked… annoyingly pretty.
In fact—
She grabbed my forearm.
And gave a faint smile.
Even though I let go of her cheek, she didn’t release my arm.
Instead, she bit my thumb playfully.
I caught a glimpse of her small tongue tinged with red between her lips.
“Is this what you want from a goddess?”
I quickly pulled my hand back.
Startled.
She reached toward me again like she was disappointed, but couldn’t match my reflexes.
“Hmph, how stingy you are.”
I had no idea what was going on anymore.
A wave of confusion hit me.
Honestly, even when I first fell into this game world, I wasn’t this flustered.
That’s when I heard a voice.
“Ah, Barbarian sir… there you are.”
I turned around again.
A familiar face.
One of the people who looked frightened when I took out the bandit group yesterday.
This middle-aged man, better dressed than the rest, gave an awkward smile.
“I’m Senthos, the village chief.”
He tried not to show his fear of me as he continued.
“I visited the inn to thank you for yesterday’s help, but it seems we missed each other.”
“Mm.”
So that’s why the innkeeper came up earlier.
As he spoke, the village chief looked past me.
“And, uh… who might that be?”
I could tell exactly what he was thinking.
‘This crazy barbarian didn’t kidnap a noblewoman from outside the village… right?’
A reasonable concern, actually.
I opened my mouth, both to clarify and to ask my own question.
“She’s not someone from this village?”
“Of course not. My goodness…”
Just as the chief was about to utter another amazed remark—
“How rude.”
Huh?
The woman—still calling herself a goddess—stood with her arms crossed, wearing a cold, piercing expression.
“No manners. Not even a shred of responsibility. What remains of loyalty or honor when one so arrogantly asserts pride over a mere mortal?”
A sudden, wild escalation.