Jealousy.
Ayla had rarely felt the emotion of jealousy in her life.
To be precise, it would be more accurate to say that she never had the opportunity. If you can call it an opportunity.
As a child, Ayla was the best at swordsmanship among those around her.
There were many who were better than Ayla, but she had accepted that from the very beginning.
Becoming the best at swordsmanship meant becoming a hero of the continent.
She simply enjoyed wielding a sword and thought about climbing as high as possible, but never once thought about becoming the best.
So, when someone surpassed Ayla’s skills, she merely accepted it. She even had hope.
Maybe someday, they could reach an even higher level? Perhaps they could become a great swordsman?
It was a world where war was a story from long ago, but still, that skill would be very useful for him to live.
Above all, he did not tease Ayla about his swordsmanship skills.
For some reason, he always looked at Ayla as if she was dazzling. It seemed like he discovered a charm in her that was even greater than the one Ayla believed she had.
So, there was no room for jealousy.
“The book says that sometimes tickling is more painful than any kind of suffering.”
Unlike usual, Ayla had Luna seated on the sofa and was standing before her.
Ayla’s fingertips neared Luna’s neck. Around that neck, there was the choker that Ayla had given Luna. Its name, still, strangled Luna’s neck.
If Ayla said a single word, Luna’s neck would tighten. Luna had no choice but to obey that command to survive.
Somehow, Luna’s actions reminded Ayla of him. He wasn’t the type to harm himself, but somehow, it felt like Ayla could make him do anything to make her believe in him.
But Ayla did not tickle her neck.
It was just an excuse to touch her neck; she had no intention of doing anything so disgraceful.
“Or maybe, is it embarrassment? Yes, you are always vulnerable to embarrassment, just like the maid in the book. You were more embarrassed about leaving some clothes on than completely undressing.”
“Ayla-nim.”
Seeing her hand slowly move down to undo a button, Luna whispered softly.
The neatly gathered hand twitched. It seemed like she wanted to resist, but didn’t.
Ayla also could not understand the reason for the emotions she was feeling.
What Ayla felt was jealousy. It was not about Luna’s skill. Nor was it about her oddly wide connections.
For some reason, Ayla was jealous of Luna being mentioned by others.
Click.
Another button came undone. The gap between the buttons was wide enough that Luna’s skin could be glimpsed through her clothes. It was slightly sweaty.
It wasn’t even the season where it would be hot.
She stopped unbuttoning, but her hand went a little lower. Beneath Luna’s collarbone, it was slightly soft.
“Hmph.”
A faint moan escaped from Luna’s lips. Even though Ayla hadn’t touched a particularly sensitive spot.
It was probably because of the atmosphere.
After that moan, Luna’s face flushed red. Was she just holding it in until now?
Compared to the usual impassive expression she maintained, it was a pitiable expression.
Ayla pulled her hand back.
“Tell me, Luna. You came here to serve me, didn’t you?”
“……”
Luna bit her lip slightly.
“How many years have you spent under the witch? How well does the witch know you?”
“That is…”
“Shadows handle information, don’t they? How much information do the shadows have about you?”
Luna’s eyes briefly looked up to meet Ayla’s. They were beautiful eyes, like jewels carved from amethyst.
Her eyes were different. They weren’t as sharp as his. Her lashes weren’t as long. Her eyebrows were also different.
Yet, just looking into those eyes made Ayla think of him.
Could she be his substitute? She had promised to protect Ayla, but in the end, Ayla had abandoned her. Now, Ayla had no idea where he was.
Maybe he had married? Ayla had imagined it a few times. If so, he would have been a good father.
His face, when he held Ayla’s arms and hands, was so kind.
He probably would have been able to hold both his wife and daughter in his wide shoulders.
Perhaps he was happier without marrying a noblewoman.
A life free from power struggles, just a happy life.
How happy would the woman who married him have been?
“How about the empress?”
Ayla’s hand moved slightly lower. Her body bent down, and her face drew closer. They were probably close enough for their breaths to touch.
Ayla had never really bragged about it, but she thought her chest, which she considered quite nice, had come down. It would likely be visible through the thin fabric.
Luna’s eyes widened at the sight, but she quickly turned her gaze away, seemingly uncomfortable.
“Don’t turn your gaze away. It’s an order.”
Luna’s neck twitched. She held on for a few more seconds, but slowly, her face grew redder, and eventually, her trembling eyes met Ayla’s.
Maybe she thought it would be easier to look at her face than her chest?
But soon, those eyes turned to confusion. Ayla’s face was too close.
“How about the empress? What did she think of you? Even if she didn’t marry you, didn’t she plan to keep you as her servant for life? Someone with that kind of immense power could surely have a lover, even if she were a woman. After she found out you were a woman, what do you think she did?”
“Ayla-nim, that’s…”
“Oh, yes. It’s in the book. How women enjoy it with each other.”
In truth, even without anyone teaching her, Ayla could have imagined how it was done. No matter how little Ayla had been educated about sex, she still knew how to feel pleasure.
“Wouldn’t she have wanted something like that?”
Luna didn’t respond.
‘No,’ was all she needed to say, but for a moment, Luna hesitated.
That made Ayla’s feeling of jealousy deepen.
“Like this.”
Ayla grabbed the skirt with her hands again.
Unlike the one Luna wore during the day, this was a properly long skirt, so it took more time to lift.
But perhaps because of that, Ayla felt even stranger.
Unlike the clothes that existed solely for “that” purpose, this was truly the kind of outfit she normally wore.
As the hem of the skirt rose above her knees, Luna stopped it with her hand.
That hand was trembling slightly.
Was it because of fear?
That, too, was frustrating.
Luna had initially come to the mansion claiming she had a debt to the Count.
She had approached Ayla, who knew nothing, and declared that she would become her maid.
Before Ayla could even refuse, Luna had completely managed the mansion, brought in people, and improved the surrounding environment.
Just that alone had greatly improved Ayla’s life.
“Move your hand. That’s an order.”
When Ayla pressed her multiple times, Luna eventually placed a choker around her own neck.
Perhaps she knew a way to take it off herself.
Ayla never ordered her to reveal that.
If Luna were to actually remove the choker—
Well.
Ayla thought it wouldn’t matter if Luna betrayed her.
This life was like that anyway.
Even when she had the chance to escape, she couldn’t bring herself to abandon a mere child, and in the end, she endured until she was ruined.
Ayla was a person who was neither one thing nor the other.
So even if she were to be stabbed in the back and it all ended like that, she figured there was nothing she could do about it.
And yet, for some reason—
Thinking about it made her chest ache.
“It’s soft. Do you take special care of it?”
“N-No, I don’t.”
When Ayla’s fingers touched Luna’s thigh, Luna’s voice trembled.
She stuttered.
That was only natural.
If her fingers moved further and slipped inside the already lifted skirt, anyone would react that way.
But why?
Was it because of those eyes?
Or was it because, no matter what Ayla thought, Luna seemed completely devoted to her?
Perhaps it was because, like the future she once idly imagined, Luna was an excellent swordsman?
Well, Luna would still lose to Ayla.
But if that was just an act, or if she was simply a different person altogether, then there was nothing to be done.
…Ayla suddenly recalled how he would always panic whenever she got too close.
The way those violet eyes quivered, the troubled expression as he looked at her—
It was so similar to his.
Even though they had completely different faces, the expression was the same.
That was why Ayla had never been able to resent him.
Because she could make him flustered like this—
“……!”
A little too late, Ayla withdrew her hand.
The way the skirt brushed against the back of her hand told her just how dangerously far she had reached.
If Luna hadn’t been wearing an apron, half of her chest would have been exposed.
Seeing Luna, her face red, gasping for breath, Ayla felt momentarily startled.
But Luna was only flustered—she didn’t glare at Ayla or anything.
Instead, she steadied her breathing and stood up, buttoning her clothes.
Then she returned to her usual polite posture.
“……Lady Ayla.”
Luna spoke to Ayla, who remained silent.
“I apologize for not telling you everything.”
At those words, Ayla felt a little empty.
The jealousy still hadn’t subsided.
But her rationality had returned.
“Luna, move your room.
As my personal maid, you can’t be so far away that you can’t act immediately when I need you.”
Even so, she couldn’t put off saying those words.
“Understood, Lady Ayla.”
Luna simply answered as she always did.
Her face was still red, and she was sweating—
But Ayla only hoped that wasn’t her way of expressing disgust.
Am I dreaming?
With a slightly dizzy head, she seriously pondered.
Did Ayla just… desire my body?
Or was this simply another way to torment me?
Had Ayla ever been tormented like this before?
Countless thoughts swirled in her mind.
A fierce emotion raged deep within her heart.
But Ayla effortlessly erased those complicated thoughts with a single command.
“Luna, move your room.”
She was telling her to come closer.
She still suspected me.
And it was too soon for me to tell her everything.
But at the very least—
This much, she trusted me.
“Understood, Lady Ayla.”
And so, pretending to stay as composed as possible was my best option.