Chapter 68 : Secret (3)

I doubted whether I had seen something unreal, but I still knew that it wasn’t entirely a dream.

Even if it wasn’t a dream, it’s possible my brain wasn’t functioning properly due to the choking sensation from the choker.
But Ayla’s words to move to the “next room” were real.

“Looks like you slept in a different room yesterday.”

The next morning, when I visited Ayla’s room, she said that to me.

“It seems like my words to move rooms didn’t sound like a command. Should I have said it more clearly for you to understand?”

“…I’m sorry, Ayla.”

My heart started racing unnecessarily, and I answered while slightly bowing my back.

“Move today. I’ll give you time after breakfast.”

“Understood, Ayla.”

It wouldn’t have mattered if I moved while Ayla was taking a bath in the morning, but Ayla seemed unwilling to let go of washing her own body.

I don’t know exactly what Ayla feels.

But at least, it seems she has developed some sort of “possessiveness” towards me.

This is something I hadn’t expected when I came here.

When I first met Ayla, she seemed to reject me.

Though that was understandable… after all, it hasn’t been a very long time, has it?

It wasn’t that I did something well to build trust; I wonder if Ayla, having been cornered, grabbed onto me.

“You still can’t look at my body properly.”

“I’m sorry, Ayla.”

Was it because of our conversation yesterday?

The conversation with Ayla continued like this.

“Is my body so hideous? So much so that you can’t even look at me properly?”

She probably doesn’t genuinely think that way.

I don’t think Ayla’s self-loathing is that intense. When I look at Ayla’s body, I mostly blush the same way anyone would when looking at the opposite sex.

If I were turning my gaze away in disgust, I wouldn’t blush either.

“No, Ayla.”

“Then, what do you think?”

“……”

“Answer me. It’s a command.”

“……”

If I didn’t answer, my neck would slowly tighten.

It wouldn’t tighten to the point where I couldn’t breathe in an instant.

It would slowly squeeze me, leaving just enough space to breathe, as though Ayla’s will was being directly reflected.

Strangely, I didn’t find it completely unpleasant.

Of course, I do think it’s strange, as I admitted.

No one would be happy having their neck squeezed.

Even if someone did, they would be as perverse as the late Count.

So no, it’s not because of that ‘sensation.’
Rather, it felt like Ayla commanding me in that way was a sign that she didn’t have any more room to spare.

Saying she would force me to listen even if she had to choke me—

“Ayla’s body is beautiful.”

Knowing that was the answer, somehow I felt a little happy whenever Ayla commanded me.

It was the sight of Ayla being different from the moment she had given up on everything.

“…”

For a moment, Ayla couldn’t properly respond to my words.

I saw her throat twitch slightly. Had she swallowed her saliva?

“Is that so?”

Ayla asked back and grabbed my hand, which was wetting the towel on her arm.

Even though she didn’t pull it strongly, my hand had no choice but to follow hers.

My heart, already racing, started to beat even harder.

It might not even be right to just say “racing” now.

The water in the bathtub splashed, and the soap bubbles that had been floating in the water spread in all directions.

The soap bubbles, which had been gathered near Ayla’s chest, were pushed away by her soft skin, and something seemed to be visible through the transparent water.

But the sensation of her hand was much more stimulating than that gaze.

For some reason, my senses were sharper now than they had been when I was a man.

Perhaps this was another talent I was born with when fate changed.

It might be a useful ability when distinguishing objects with my fingertips or when gathering information while hiding like the shadows’ subordinates.

But in front of Ayla, it was a talent I couldn’t control.

Ayla looked at my hand intently, as if she saw something interesting, and with her slender fingers, she traced it all over.

Though I hadn’t been training in swordsmanship before I came here, my fingertips were starting to develop calluses, but they still softly caressed my palm.

“Even after looking again, it seems like your hands grew up without any hardship. I could believe you’re the daughter of some noble.”
“I can’t deny that immediately.”

Ayla turned my hand over and looked at the back of my hand.

She softly stroked the back of my hand a few times.

‘……!’

Ayla’s fingers slipped between mine.
The warm water made her fingers tingle, then become warm.

Ayla’s hand firmly held mine.

“Ayla.”

Before I could stop her, Ayla brought my hand to her lips.

My index and middle fingers touched Ayla’s lips.

It was a place I never even imagined I could touch, even when Ayla and I had been so close.

As Ayla had said, my hands were still soft.
Even though I practiced swordsmanship, they didn’t easily crack, so even with fate’s change, it seems my veins didn’t change.

But Ayla’s lips were even softer than my fingers.

My wet fingers moistened Ayla’s soft lips.

I don’t know what I was thinking.

Is this what a master and maid relationship is like?

For someone like me, who had even rejected the idea of having a servant as a noble…

“Fufu.”

Ayla smiled slightly, and her lips moved.

At the fingertips, which were particularly sensitive, I could clearly feel how Ayla’s lips moved.

I could feel Ayla’s breath slipping through my fingers.

“That’s right. This is fair.”

What on earth is?

“Because I touched your lips first.”

“…Ah.”

“Yes. When I was putting makeup on your face—”

As Ayla said that, her face suddenly stiffened.

Right. Ayla wasn’t the first to put makeup on my face.

Before that, Helena and the other maids had done it first.

Of course, their fingers must have brushed against my lips as well.

“……Well, in that sense, I guess I’m not the first either.”

Ayla’s eyes narrowed slightly.

Only her pupils moved as she looked at me.

Her blue eyes shimmered under the distinct lighting of the bathroom.

But it was completely different from the way Seila’s eyes had sparkled as she looked up at me.

Even though they were shining, the emotions trapped inside were dark.

At least, I had the ability to recognize that much.

Was it bothering her that she wasn’t the first to touch my lips?

For some reason, Ayla looked at me with possessive eyes as she continued speaking.

Her lips, touching my fingers, moved softly.

“There were people who did my makeup too. Isn’t that right?”

“…….”

Only after Ayla emphasized it once more did I suddenly recall the image.

Someone sitting across from Ayla, gently chatting while applying rouge to her lips…

Thinking about it… made me feel a little strange.

I thought I would be fine with it.

Wasn’t that right?

I kept making excuses, postponing things again and again, and in the end, I couldn’t even stop Ayla from marrying another noble.

I rationalized it, telling myself that it was fine.

That even if I wasn’t her first, it couldn’t be helped.

Even if she had affairs with the Count or other things happened, I still loved Ayla.

So, why would I feel jealous just because someone else had touched her lips?

Even if I had stayed close to Ayla, even if I had remained by her side, it wasn’t like I would have had the chance to do her makeup.

Only when Ayla’s eyes curved slightly did I realize—she had said those words on purpose.

Ayla was slowly reading my thoughts.

And yet, I could barely read hers.

That was a little terrifying.

“Besides that, I’ve learned many other things too. There are things one must know to become a bride, aren’t there?”

I quickly averted my eyes.

At this rate, she’d realize that I was here because of Ayla.

No, she had already figured that out.

There was no need to think about the debt I supposedly owed to the Count anymore.

No matter what debt I had incurred, it wouldn’t be enough to bring a knight, who had even earned the Empress’s trust, all the way back to the Count’s domain.

Especially not after the Count had already passed away.

Even though I looked away, I couldn’t stop my lips from pressing tightly together.

The words bride training lingered in my mind.

I knew.

To imagine those kinds of things just from hearing that phrase was the kind of ridiculous thought that only someone who had read too many of the same kind of books the Count had collected would have.

But in this atmosphere, with those words…

Wasn’t she implying something?

“……Ah, Ayla!?”

Lost in my own imagination, I suddenly shouted.

Ayla was lightly biting the tip of my finger.

“You seemed too lost in thought.”

Only then did Ayla let go of my hand.

“Well then, let’s finish up, Luna.”

“……Understood, Ayla.”

I could only hope that she’d think my flushed face was because of the steam.

Of course, she never did.

What kind of maid would include that in bride training?

More than that, Ayla had learned to do her own makeup.

Whether in the Baron’s domain or the Count’s, she had refused to have a personal maid by her side.

After all, any maid would have either been on the Baron’s side or the Count’s.

Still, it seemed to have had an effect.

Luna, her face red, couldn’t even meet Ayla’s eyes properly.

And because of that, Ayla’s curiosity only deepened.

Why did Luna react this way to her?

But more than curiosity, one thing was becoming clearer.

Perhaps, more than anyone, Luna had never even considered betrayal.

But even so, Ayla had no intention of removing the choker yet.

It still wasn’t enough.

Because Ayla wasn’t certain yet.