Chapter 64 : Do you hate me now?

The time was late in the early morning.

Bersia swallowed her embarrassment and took a deep breath.

What immediately appeared on her lips was, none other than, a faint smile.

‘Ah…’

Normally, she would have felt uncomfortable with this phenomenon, but not now.

After all, the discomfort she would usually feel was caused by the thought that ‘the reason to be together, somehow, disappears.’

If there was a possibility, like now, that Usher might push her away, it would be better if her original body returned.

Though she didn’t use it intentionally, in this relationship, having the body of a saintess meant having command over things.

In other words, if he attempted to distance himself from her, it would become possible to block him with her position.

Bersia felt relieved by this fact.

Her heart, which had been racing with anxiety, regained its calm.

A small smile bloomed on her lips.

Would he come looking for her right away?

No, he was likely still asleep at this time.

If he came looking for her, it would probably be tomorrow morning.

Having finished her thoughts, Bersia slowly bent down and buried her head in the pillow.

‘It’s okay.’

She probably wouldn’t need to worry, as Usher would have been too absorbed in the fact that his body had returned and would have forgotten about what happened today.

As always, he would probably be flustered and confused.

‘I just need to act as usual. As if nothing happened. Then later, yes, later, we can talk. It’s even better if he forgets.’

The anxiety about tomorrow decreased, and her strength left her.

Ah, this favoritism really does have its use sometimes.

She thought and drifted into sleep.

And then, the next day came.

And unfortunately-

“Did you come..”

“Yes.”

The reality of the next day was far from what Bersia had imagined.

“Good morning, Saintess.”

His tone was businesslike and cold.

Straight posture and a neutral expression.

This was the appearance he showed when he appeared in the early morning.

For Bersia, this was the first time seeing Usher like this.

She couldn’t understand.

‘Why?’

What she had thought the night before was that Usher should have been looking flustered in the morning, wanting to share what had happened the night before. He would probably try to avoid talking about it and drag out a conversation about their bodies.

If the conversation had gone on, the tense atmosphere would have naturally softened.

Then, everything would have been fine.

But why?

‘Why is this happening?’

Why was it not like that?

The words she had planned to say were all erased from her mind at that moment.

Just by the fact that his mood seemed bad, and the thought that the cause might be her, Bersia became terribly anxious.

Her gaze wavered.

Having lived her life the way she wanted, she had no ability to deal with a situation she hadn’t anticipated.

She couldn’t even swallow her panic.

In that state, she did what she could do.

Without any logical reasoning, instinctively.

“We… switched bodies again.”

She muttered while looking down at her hand.

At the same time, it was a forced topic, an attempt to steer the conversation in a way she thought it should go.

But it wasn’t enough to get the answer she wanted.

“Yes, it seems so.”

Usher remained unchanged.

Bersia felt as if her heart had frozen.

Just as Bersia had thought a lot about the events of the previous night, Usher had also thought quite a bit.

To make a long story short, what Usher recalled was a remark from his close friend Marvin.

They’ve been spoiled since childhood, and now they all have bad habits.

Though the expression was harsh and biased, part of its meaning managed to convince Usher somewhat. What he sensed in her actions—reckless, self-centered—was undoubtedly selfishness.

Why was that? Everyone knew the answer.

‘How great you are. You’re too high to face others.’

Bersia’s divine power was a natural disaster.

She was born too superior to understand or be like others.

Her environment didn’t try to pinch her for it either.

She was a saintess to all, an angel of the deity who was to be revered.

Not trusting herself must have stemmed from the same context.

She probably saw herself as weak and fragile.

It was something that could have been overlooked.

Though Usher had a vague idea of this fact, he never pointed it out to her.

But now things were different.

Above all, in a relationship where they both needed to rely on each other, such arrogance would poison both of them.

He had thought about this before going to sleep.

When he woke up, he intended to have a serious discussion about the matter.

Bersia must have trusted him to some extent, though he didn’t know how.

He had a faint belief that if they had a serious conversation, it could be resolved.

The reason his plan went wrong was simple.

The body had switched, and immediately after realizing this, Usher’s mind was filled with seriousness.

Early in the morning, the first thing Usher felt after returning to his original body was pain.

His fingertips were all torn and covered in blood.

There were bite marks on his fingertips.

In other words, it was easy to guess what Bersia had been like just before the bodies switched.

While healing his fingertips with divine power, Usher’s expression hardened with each passing moment.

It wasn’t normal to bite one’s nails until they were in that state.

He tried to figure out why.

The conclusion drawn was not pleasant for Usher.

‘It’s not communication. What the Saintess was trying to do.’

Usher wasn’t a fool.

Though he was naive and tended to trust others, he had keen insight.

He already knew that Bersia’s way of thinking wasn’t normal or healthy.

He could also guess that the conversation from the previous day had caused her stress.

But if the result was this kind of injury, wasn’t there something to see?

She was twisted.

Bersia’s feelings toward him were clearly favorable, but it wasn’t the usual kind of favor.

‘She wants control.’

What Bersia wanted was control.

The reason she was stressed was that she, who should have everything go her way, wasn’t getting it.

Why?

‘Did you start to see me as an object?’

No.

Bersia simply didn’t know any other way.

Her bonds with others had always been in that form.

It evoked great sympathy.

Usher closed his eyes and furrowed his brow.

At the end of it, he made a decision.

‘It can’t be like this anymore.’

Bersia needed to change.

For the sake of her remaining life, someone had to do it.

And that someone could only be him.

Because he was the only one who could get Bersia to listen.

That was the reason for his coldness.

Usher wanted her to think for herself and be able to understand others’ hearts.

It was an action born from a firm resolve on Usher’s part.

However, once again-

“Your expression doesn’t look good.”

His heart hurt.

Bersia, still unsure of what she should say, trembled with anxiety and stumbled over her words.

Her pitiful appearance forced Usher to chastise himself repeatedly.

“I’m sorry, for treating your body carelessly, Sir.”

It was an incredibly difficult thing to say.

Bersia could barely breathe.

It was the first time in her life that her body was reacting uncontrollably to someone else’s emotions.

Usher was certainly putting some kind of pressure on her.

He seemed to want to talk about something.

Bersia only understood that much.

What he wanted to hear, though, she had no idea.

In her ongoing thoughts, Bersia reached a conclusion.

‘As I thought.’

She had clearly heard about the Astalion royal family from Igor the previous night.

That moment was filled with anger.

Her fists clenched tightly, and a murderous aura appeared beneath her eyes.

‘That old man…!’

He ruined everything.

He took Usher away.

But she couldn’t release the boiling emotions.

If she went directly to the Pope and killed him now, she would definitely lose her position as the ‘Saintess,’ which kept Usher bound to her side.

Above all, she wanted Usher to stay with her in some form, no matter what.

Her obsession suppressed her feelings time and again.

That time stretched into the afternoon.

Usher always stood behind her right side.

It was a position of protection, a place where she couldn’t see him unless she turned her head.

If she lowered her head, she could barely see his shadow.

Bersia kept her head lowered the whole time because she needed to confirm that his shadow remained beside her.

She spoke intermittently.

As if nothing was wrong, she asked something, received a brief answer, and continued to hurt herself with her actions.

It didn’t take long before even that became impossible.

It was during a time when they sat together at the outdoor tea table in the garden, just staring blankly.

The silence lasted for about an hour.

During that time, Bersia’s heartbeat only grew faster.

The thought that maybe just being together would be enough seemed increasingly hollow, as Usher’s silence became unbearable for her.

The more she realized he no longer held any favor for her, the more her throat burned.

Eventually, Bersia’s gaze grew hollow.

She turned weakly to look at Usher.

He was staring straight ahead, not at her.

That indifference cut through her like a knife.

And so,

“…Do you hate me now?”

She asked the question suddenly.

It was less of a question and more of a plea.