Usher’s fingertips trembled.
At the question posed to him, his gaze shifted toward Bersia for the first time today.
But all he could see was Bersia’s head, lowered so deeply that only the back of her neck was visible.
“Do you hate me?”
The emotion behind the question was unusually blunt for him.
And the answer she wanted was equally blunt.
Considering that Bersia was generally mysterious or coquettish, this change was even dramatic.
Usher knew the answer to soothe her.
But he couldn’t say it rashly.
An answer that considered Bersia’s feelings wouldn’t provide a fundamental resolution.
Rather, a different answer was needed.
The moment Usher thought this, the question was repeated.
“…Are you disappointed in me?”
Now, Usher had two questions to answer.
They seemed to be from the same context, but the answer Usher would give was different.
He pressed his lips tightly together, then spoke.
“I don’t hate you.”
“…!”
“But, yes. I am disappointed.”
In a flash, Bersia’s head shot up.
Her face, which Usher saw for the first time today, had become hollow in the brief moments since.
Usher felt a pang of regret.
Someone who is revered by all has only one place to lean, and that is why she feels so anxious around Usher.
How could that ever feel pleasant?
It wasn’t trust, it was obsession.
Not understanding, but control.
The absolute ruler, who was ignorant of relationships, had only chosen wrong answers and ended up in this result, still floundering without finding the right one.
When their bodies had changed, Usher hadn’t felt it so clearly.
Perhaps it was because there was no room to do so.
This might have been the price he paid for his lack of virtue.
The anxious blue eyes, the slightly parted lips, the messy hair sticking out.
All of it seemed to fit with her, but also didn’t.
Bersia pondered Usher’s words, her expression becoming more confused.
Her outstretched hand grabbed Usher’s collar.
Her head, which had risen, dropped again.
“…You don’t dislike me, do you?”
Is that the question she’s barely asking?
At this point, Usher was certain that what Bersia was hiding was something unusual.
However, that wasn’t something to discuss right now.
Usher had to think.
She still sought only the right answer she needed, rather than correcting the wrong one.
After finishing his thoughts, Usher grabbed Bersia’s hand, which was holding his collar, and knelt to meet her gaze.
Bersia’s hand was soft and cold.
Of course, even though she had used her hand to some extent, Bersia had led a life far from rough enough to form calluses, so it was understandable.
This fragility might have been something connected to Bersia herself.
After composing his expression, Usher spoke.
“Saintess, don’t you wish to ask me why I am disappointed?”
“Ah….”
“I was hoping you would ask that.”
To have a conversation, one must speak their true feelings.
This was a basic truth that even children knew.
Of course, if he felt some negative emotion and wanted to distance himself from Bersia forever, he wouldn’t have spoken, but that wasn’t the case, was it?
Usher said what he had thought.
“Dogmatism is dangerous. It is a lesson you can hear anywhere in the world.”
“……”
“I don’t think it’s dangerous just because it leads to errors in judgment. The greatest reason dogmatism hurts is because it makes those around you hurt as well.”
Bersia’s lips pressed together tightly.
The tremor in her eyes grew stronger.
Finally, Usher smiled for the first time today.
It was a very bitter smile.
“I thought our relationship was built on trust. In fact, you’ve always listened to my opinions, Saintess. But, this time, I think things have gone awry. A single mistake might be forgivable, but considering the future, shouldn’t we talk more about this?”
“I… I…”
“Please, speak.”
Bersia couldn’t continue her words.
Usher could vaguely understand why.
Her original reason had been ‘because she was worried.’
But through her actions earlier that morning, Usher had realized something.
Bersia wanted yesterday’s events to be erased as if they never happened.
Wasn’t that telling?
Bersia thought of that as a mistake.
But she didn’t want to face it.
It was truly a childishly stubborn thought.
But Usher thought to himself.
Perhaps that very stubbornness was the essence of the women living within the system and position of the Saintess.
“Saintess.”
“…Yes.”
“Do you not trust me?”
“…No.”
“Was I not a trustworthy knight to you, Saintess?”
Bersia shook her head.
She looked like a child being scolded.
It was the first time Usher had seen her like this, and oddly enough, he felt a sense of cuteness from her for the first time.
Of course, Usher wouldn’t torment her just to feel more of that emotion.
“I understand that you’re worried. But, as I told you yesterday, what you feared didn’t happen. I only talked about faith with His Holiness, and nothing else occurred. Even if I were to hear something I shouldn’t, it would be the same.”
One or two words can’t persuade someone.
That’s something only saints who would be recorded in the church’s history can do. Usher knew he wasn’t someone who had reached that level. So, in order to give Bersia the certainty she needed, Usher wanted to provide comfort in the most certain way he could.
“Then let’s make a promise.”
Usher hooked his pinky finger with Bersia’s.
“If I ever learn something about you that you haven’t told me, I will run to you first and tell you about it. And all decisions will be made afterward, and I will try my best to understand your choice.”
Usher shook their hands up and down and smiled warmly.
Bersia stared at the hand in a daze.
Then, she weakly smiled.
It seemed as though all her energy had been drained, and that was all she could muster.
“…Am I a fool?”
“What do you mean?”
“Thinking that a pinky promise would keep us safe is just too funny.”
“This is one of the oldest ways to make a promise. History itself guarantees this promise.”
“A promise is something that’s guaranteed by collateral, right?”
“You’re wrong.”
How cynical she was.
Usher corrected her words.
“Collateral is necessary for a transaction. What’s needed for a promise is trust.”
Both must believe in each other.
Before their bodies were shared, before anything else, they had to believe and try to understand each other.
“I am the one who protects you, Saintess. You are the one who entrusts your back to me. We must trust each other more and try to understand one another.”
The truth will be conveyed.
Usher believed in the power of words and smiles.
It was Bersia who had taught him that.
He might not know what whim she had when she did those things in the distant past.
It was natural since she couldn’t even remember her meeting with him.
But Usher thought,
On that day, Bersia must have reached out her hand to him with pure goodwill.
That whim, or whatever it was, was kind, and since she didn’t expect anything in return, it was pure.
If she had the chance, she would surely reveal such a pure heart and build a relationship based on trust.
“Would you be able to make an effort with me?”
Usher asked.
Bersia took a deep breath.
Only after Usher had spoken to her was she able to do this.
Bersia thought about a lot after hearing his words.
But before that, let’s talk about the past.
In this process, Bersia reflected on herself.
She had been so anxious about whether he was smiling or not, but now, after seeing him smile, she finally felt relieved.
It was really,
“…I’m such a fool.”
She looked foolish.
She couldn’t help it.
“I think I’ve become a fool. Really.”
“Ho, did I say something wrong…?”
“It’s not that.”
It was strange that the anxiety about that person disappeared with just a few words.
But Bersia knew the reason.
It wasn’t because his words became trustworthy.
It was simply because he was the one who said them.
That’s why she wanted to believe.
Even though there was still anxiety in her heart, she leaned on him.
Because the warmth of this moment was too good.
What they called love—wasn’t that what she was experiencing?
Although Usher had returned to his original body, this feeling didn’t change.
He was still the same kind and warm person, no matter what body he had.
That made her happy, but also somewhat sad.
Even while feeling relief, she couldn’t help but wonder if something would happen.
“Promise, I will definitely keep it.”
Bersia embraced Usher.
She buried her head on his chest.
At that moment, Bersia heard it.
Thump, Usher’s heartbeat.