Xu Duyan felt as if her head had been struck by a hammer, nearly fainting on the spot.
She had never associated her younger brother with death before. For a moment, she completely lost her composure.
Before Su Ziyan was discharged from the hospital, the doctor had specifically warned Xu Duyan that people who suddenly suffered such an accident often experienced extreme emotions.
As his family member, she should take good care of him and prevent him from doing anything foolish.
What she hadn’t expected was that their roles had now completely reversed.
Su Ziyan, who should have been the one feeling extreme and fragile, had found this strange way of coping by performing as his old self.
It might not be healthy in the long run and could even lead to a mental breakdown, but at least in the short term, it was definitely helping him vent his stress.
Yet all the pressure he was releasing had now become pressure weighing down on Xu Duyan.
She never imagined that the one becoming extreme wasn’t Su Ziyan anymore—it was herself, the one desperately trying to take care of him.
So the moment she heard him say he would rather die, everything felt wrong.
Su Ziyan, who should have been heading toward extremes, was calmly and seriously stating his point of view. On the other hand, Xu Duyan, who should have been the calm and rational one, was starting to lose her mind.
The despair Su Ziyan felt in the first month after the accident, along with the forced smiles he wore this past month, had already become a heavy burden in her heart. She thought she could bear it.
She had simply been holding the string in her heart taut.
But the moment he said he didn’t want to keep relying on her and wanted to separate from her, that string inside Xu Duyan snapped. She had never felt this heartbroken before.
For so many years, he had never spoken so decisively. Hearing Su Ziyan say something like that, her first reaction was that she was going to lose him.
And that was exactly what it felt like. The serious way he spoke those words sounded like a farewell letter to her—painfully so.
He said:
We’re both adults now. We should each focus on our own lives and learn to be independent.
But neither she nor Su Ziyan had ever lived that way in their entire lives.
The two of them were like two lines tightly tangled together.
They might argue or have conflicts, but they had never truly separated.
They had never even thought about it.
Even when Su Ziyan had said he no longer wanted to pursue her, she hadn’t felt this way.
Back then, her feeling was less about the two of them separating and more about the fact that they could never be together romantically.
But that was what she had always thought anyway.
She also knew clearly that even if there was no possibility of them being together and even if Su Ziyan stopped pursuing her, they would still remain tightly bound.
Even as siblings, there had always been moments of ambiguity between them. Their sinful fate was something that could never be broken.
Yet now, even though Su Ziyan was saying the same things—still saying they were only siblings—that sudden premonition surged into Xu Duyan’s heart.
It was the feeling that Su Ziyan was going to leave her. That she was going to lose him forever.
She had never felt this way before.
At that moment, Xu Duyan suddenly realized something. She understood why she had that ominous premonition even before she spoke today.
It wasn’t some mysterious sixth sense. It was because of the way they had been interacting this past month.
Although Su Ziyan had been acting like his old self, he had become polite and distant.
He had said more than once that he didn’t need her help washing up…
He had said more than once that she should use her time for more important things…
Although he would say he wanted to sleep with her and take advantage of her, he had never actually touched her inappropriately again…
She had noticed all these wrong signs long ago. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have been so anxious to talk to him and beg him to rely on her more.
In truth, the one who needed Su Ziyan was her—both in the past and now.
In the past, she had pushed him away again and again in a nearly pathological and obsessive way, telling herself she wanted him to find his own happiness, yet she had kept making ambiguous moves toward him and firmly occupied the place in his heart.
Now, she desperately wanted Su Ziyan to rely on her. She wanted him to become a helpless little mascot who couldn’t do anything without her. She wanted him to become someone who couldn’t live without her.
And Su Ziyan had said that if it came to that, he would rather die.
That had made everything go black before her eyes for a moment, but once she came back to her senses, it only fueled her even more frantic, hoarse madness.
Just as Su Ziyan finished speaking and was wondering whether the silence meant his sister had finally listened to him, he was suddenly pushed down hard.
It was true that they only had one dining table and one dining area.
It was the tea table in the living room. After going through so many hardships, they had eaten their quiet meals there more than once.
Su Ziyan had even joked about it more than once—since it was an open-concept kitchen, the living room and dining area were basically connected anyway, so why couldn’t the living room just be the dining room?
And now, Su Ziyan was being pinned down on the sofa by his sister beside him.
What followed was an extremely fierce kiss. Her violent collision split his lip, and the metallic taste of blood filled both their mouths.
Su Ziyan could feel her almost crazed movements, pressing down on him so hard he could barely breathe.
Then Xu Duyan released his lips, but she didn’t get up or speak. Instead, she buried her face in his neck and began biting and sucking.
Every breath and lick sent intense itching through Su Ziyan’s neck, and his blindness had only made his sense of touch even sharper.
Pain and itchiness surged into his mind together. The stimulation made it impossible for Su Ziyan to speak in complete sentences.
“Sis… Sister… What are you suddenly…”
But Xu Duyan pressed close again. The taste of blood rushed back into Su Ziyan’s mouth. Even after she pulled away long afterward, the taste still lingered.
Breathing heavily, Xu Duyan sat straddling Su Ziyan’s waist, her hands still pinning his wrists down firmly.
“Ziyan, how can you say something like that? How can you say anything related to death?”
It was a voice Su Ziyan knew extremely well, yet right now it felt completely foreign to him.
“You can’t die. How could you die? You’re not allowed to die, and you’re not allowed to leave me.”
“Didn’t you say it before? We’re going to be together for a lifetime!”
“Xu Duyan, have you gone crazy…”
“I’m not crazy! Didn’t you say you love me? Actually, I love you too! I’ve loved you for so many years!”
Looking down at Su Ziyan beneath her, an inexplicable sadistic desire rose in Xu Duyan.
“Let’s be together!”
“Didn’t I already say it before? After that accident, we would be together!”
“From now on, we won’t be siblings anymore. We’ll be lovers. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“I love you! So please don’t ever say anything related to death again, okay? We’ll live like this for the rest of our lives. I’ll take care of you forever!”
Yet in the middle of Xu Duyan’s pathological and frantic confession, Su Ziyan let out a soft, light laugh.
So she really did like him. Liked him to the point of distortion and sickness?
But was this really right? Wasn’t it too late to say all this now?
After years of suppressed questions finally receiving an answer, Su Ziyan didn’t feel even the slightest bit of relief. He simply asked:
“Why are you only saying this now?”