The road that turns onto Olympic-daero from the southern end of Gyungdong Bridge, crosses Tancheon, passes Jamsil, and runs with Achasan Mountain across the Hangang.
This path was now quite familiar to the two of them.
It was because they had occasionally headed toward Hanam for a short drive to practice the way to Choi Hongseo.
Sometimes they would spend time with the Car parked in the Columbarium parking lot.
As if training to adapt to a new environment.
At those times, Song Hyunsoo would either become very talkative or fall completely silent.
He would chatter excitedly about memories of Choi Hongseo and then suddenly sink into silence.
Other times, he couldn’t even last five minutes in the parking lot and would urge Yoon Jooho to return House.
Was it because the sadness was still so great?
Two years had passed. At the time when he first heard of the death and for several months afterward, it was hard to pull himself together due to grief and shock.
However, the reason he still couldn’t face the death of that fellow head-on was because of the sense of injustice.
Even if he accepted the death as a fact and moved forward, the injustice of that death and life would not be resolved.
And because he had died, it would never be resolved.
Injustice was one of the emotions Song Hyunsoo was most vulnerable to.
“The weather is nice.”
Yoon Jooho, in the passenger seat, spoke while looking at the sky ahead.
Just as he said, the sky was wiped clean, without a single wisp of cloud to be found.
“It is.”
Tension could be felt in Song Hyunsoo’s voice as he gave a short reply.
Yoon Jooho looked back at his Lover. He couldn’t see the gaze because he was wearing Sunglasses, but his profile was unusually stiff.
Would it have been better if it were raining or cloudy?
Yoon Jooho reached out and quietly covered Song Hyunsoo’s right Hand, which was gripping the wheel.
Song Hyunsoo glanced over and gave a thin smile.
The inside of the Car was filled with the scent of Freesia.
They were the flowers Song Hyunsoo had personally chosen to give to Choi Hongseo. Yellow and white Freesia.
Once they took the highway exit at Hanam IC, it was only a short distance to the Columbarium.
Even though there were massive shopping malls and Apartment Complexes just 5 to 10 minutes away by Car, the area around the Columbarium, surrounded by small mountains, was as quiet as another world.
Song Hyunsoo parked the Car in a spot not far from the building entrance. He took off his Sunglasses and stepped out of the Car immediately without much hesitation.
In his Hand, he held a flower basket. In the inner pocket of his jacket was a letter he had spent many days writing, erasing, and worrying over until it was finished.
Yoon Jooho, who had come to his side, turned Song Hyunsoo’s shoulders toward him.
“Look here.”
Then he straightened his clothes.
“You look very handsome.”
“You too, Sunbae.”
Both of them were dressed in simple and clean Suits.
“I’m glad we wore Suits.”
“But that fellow will laugh when he sees us. We didn’t really wear things like this.”
Since it was Sunday afternoon, there seemed to be occasional visitors at the Columbarium.
However, it wasn’t to the point where they would run into people.
The two of them, who had booked their visit in advance, were guided to the VIP Room.
The Staff looked quite surprised the moment they discovered Yoon Jooho, but they tried to act composed as if they didn’t know.
Once the Staff left, the Room was silent. Only Bach’s Unaccompanied Cello Suites was flowing at a very low volume.
Song Hyunsoo slowly looked around the space.
The mountain scenery could be seen through the wide Full-length Window.
Enough sunlight poured in to make every corner of the space bright and airy, and a comfortable-looking Sofa Set was placed in the center.
Overall, it felt like the lounge of a Gallery.
Song Hyunsoo felt like he knew who had placed Choi Hongseo in such a place as a ‘VIP’.
“Shall we say hello together?”
Yoon Jooho, who had approached from behind, asked as he gently placed a Hand on Song Hyunsoo’s shoulder.
Song Hyunsoo turned, met his eyes, and nodded.
Even without searching, Choi Hongseo’s funerary urn was easy to find.
Small artificial flowers were wrapped around the frame, and inside, hand-drawn paintings, letters, and figurines surrounded the urn as if guarding it.
It was the touch of Fans who still hadn’t forgotten him and came to visit.
Song Hyunsoo read the Messages they had left one by one.
You are still loved like this.
Everything you did, never letting go of the thread of hope until the end and believing you could escape while doing your best.
It was never in vain. I was wrong.
Fumbling, he sought Yoon Jooho’s Hand standing beside him and gripped it tightly.
The palm that pressed back was dry and lukewarm as usual, which put his mind at ease.
Holding Hands, they stood side by side and offered a moment of silent prayer.
Unlike typical funerary urns, the word ‘Late’ was not attached before Choi Hongseo’s name.
For some reason, that brought comfort to Song Hyunsoo.
An embrace that didn’t bother to distinguish between the living and the dead.
Or, it felt like a resolve that while his physical death couldn’t be helped, they would not allow him to be forgotten.
Choi Hongseo, you were really loved by that Ajusshi.
“Sunbae.”
“Yeah.”
“I should have come sooner.”
Song Hyunsoo looked back at Yoon Jooho and smiled. His eyes were moist, but it wasn’t a forced smile.
Yoon Jooho also smiled back gently. Then he looked quietly into his eyes that were brimming with tears.
Today, Song Hyunsoo had stood in front of the Mirror for 30 minutes to style his hair himself.
He had also changed his clothes several times. Yoon Jooho lightly rubbed the tips of his hair between his fingers.
“Should I go out first and wait? Do you want to have some quiet time?”
Song Hyunsoo nodded with wet eyes.
“Will you be okay?”
“I’m okay. I wrote a letter to that fellow… I want to give it to him when I’m alone.”
Placing a Hand over his left chest where the letter was kept, Song Hyunsoo smiled as if embarrassed.
Taking in the face of Choi Hongseo, who was smiling brightly in the frame inside the urn once more, Yoon Jooho left the place.
As soon as he stepped out of the Columbarium main entrance, a long breath escaped him. It wasn’t that the air inside was particularly stifling.
A smoking area was set up in a spot away from the entrance. Yoon Jooho, who had taken out and put on his Sunglasses, went there and lit a cigarette.
He recalled Song Hyunsoo’s face as he stood before the funerary urn. It was an expression he was seeing for the first time.
Sadness, longing, guilt, tension, resentment, love, regret… an unusual emotion where all of those were tangled together.
Perhaps the sadness caused by someone who left without finishing their allotted life can never be overcome.
It’s just that one gets used to living with it little by little.
An airplane flies low overhead. Birds fly freely in the air. The noise of Cars running on the highway not far away can be heard distantly.
Yet, this place where the dignity of death had descended seemed as if it were surrounded by layers of thick silence.
Like a treasure ship that had sunk and rotted in the very deep sea.
In the interior and exterior of the Columbarium, traces of trying hard not to look bleak were evident.
It even looked like a park at a glance. Nevertheless, the deep shadow of death could not be entirely removed.
Even though the sunlight was intense enough to require Sunglasses, it felt like standing in the shade.
Yoon Jooho took out his Phone.
An interview article of Song Hyunsoo released by a Press outlet a few days ago was still pulled up.
It was content he had already read carefully dozens of times, but he read through it again slowly as if savoring it.
At a certain passage, Yoon Jooho’s gaze lingered for a long time.
Beginning: What kind of Actor do you want to become in the future?
Song Hyunsoo: Although I’m not at a young age for a Debut, it’s true that I’m still a fledgling as an Actor. That’s why Ten Years, 20 years, 30 years from now feels like a very distant and vague future. But at this moment, my heart’s desire to do good Yeongi and to improve is sincere. If I encounter a Role that I feel I can do better than anyone else, I have no intention of ever giving it up. Because I am desperate.
‘I have no intention of ever giving up a Role that I feel I can do better than anyone else.’
Behind his Sunglasses, Yoon Jooho blinked slowly. Song Hyunsoo, as an interviewee, stimulated the Actor Yoon Jooho. As if there were nothing but Yeongi, desperately…
After throwing the cigarette butt into the provided Ashtray, Yoon Jooho lingered near the main entrance. He didn’t want to go back to the Car.
He wanted to wait for him in a place even a little bit closer.
By the time about two groups had come out of the Columbarium and passed Yoon Jooho, he saw Song Hyunsoo walking out of the main entrance.
Ridiculously, he looked as if he had grown thin in the meantime.
Yoon Jooho took off his Sunglasses and stood still in that spot to wait for him.
Song Hyunsoo, whose energy had been drained by struggling with emotions, walked down the stairs steadfastly with a weary look.
When he came close enough to meet Yoon Jooho’s eyes, he showed a smile.
It wasn’t the refreshment of having finished a postponed chore. Nor was it the relief of having finally overcome it.
Toward Song Hyunsoo, who had come within two or three steps, Yoon Jooho wordlessly opened both arms.
His reddened eyes curved as he spilled into the embrace with a brighter smile.
They hugged each other tightly.
With ear to ear, cheek to cheek, and chest to chest, they felt each other.
In the sky, there was still not a single wisp of cloud.
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