“Honestly… I was scared, too.”
Song Hyunsoo’s voice was tightly locked, as if he hadn’t spoken in days.
“What were you scared of?”
“What if you… just gave up like this, sunbae.”
Yoon Jooho gripped his hand firmly, squeezing tight.
“Do you really think that would happen? You’ve changed everything. What would I do without you? Without you, I’m just a top actor with a bad personality. That’s so cliché, isn’t it?”
Song Hyunsoo managed a smile, even with tears clinging to his eyelashes, thanks to Yoon Jooho’s lighthearted attempt to comfort him.
He intertwined his fingers with Jooho’s and nodded.
“Thank you. For saying it properly.”
“I should be the one thanking you. For not giving up and making me human.”
Yoon Jooho’s gaze, looking up at Song Hyunsoo, was full of affection.
Even before they started dating, he would sometimes look at him like this—a gaze so sweet and loving it was hard to bear.
Each playful motion—brushing his hair back, nudging his forehead—was full of warmth, impossible not to notice.
That’s why, even without words, Song Hyunsoo always felt sure of his heart.
But words did matter, after all.
Words filled with sincerity, not empty lies, had incredible power.
“I thought loving someone meant wanting to keep them by my side. But you even changed that.”
A faint white breath slipped from Yoon Jooho’s lips as his thumb brushed over the back of Song Hyunsoo’s hand.
“It’s not that I want to keep you by my side. I want to be by your side.”
He pulled Hyunsoo’s shoulder close, embracing him. Those long arms wrapped tight around his back.
Unlike usual, Jooho’s face was below his own, his movements as he nuzzled into Hyunsoo’s neck and rubbed their faces together so heartbreakingly tender.
Lowering his head, he pressed a kiss to Hyunsoo’s temple.
His lips traced up Hyunsoo’s neck, seeking out his lips.
Song Hyunsoo leaned back, glancing around nervously.
“H-here? You want to do this here?”
“There’s no one around. Why, don’t you like it?”
Peering carefully at the darkness behind Jooho, he checked again.
“Still, outside… we should be careful.”
Yoon Jooho made a disappointed face, but didn’t argue. He got up first, pulling Song Hyunsoo to his feet by the hand.
“Then help me clean up.”
“Okay.”
As Song Hyunsoo picked up the blanket, Jooho stepped in close, grabbing his arm as if seeking confirmation.
“It’s okay if we do it in the car, right?”
Song Hyunsoo looked at Jooho’s anxious, far-from-composed face and nodded.
There wasn’t much left to do; Yoon Jooho quickly tidied up the spot. This time, he pushed Hyunsoo all the way into the third row.
The seats were connected in one long bench, making it even more convenient for skinship than the second row’s VIP Seat.
After adjusting the cabin temperature, Jooho plopped down next to Hyunsoo and turned to him.
“Not cold?”
“Not really.”
“I set the heat high, but there’s no seat warmer in the third row.”
Watching Jooho test the seat with his hand, Hyunsoo shook his head.
“I’m fine. I’m not cold.”
Only then did Yoon Jooho relax, offering a relieved smile.
A brief silence followed.
They sat side by side, enough space between them for a child to fit, listening only to the sound of the waves.
Song Hyunsoo wasn’t shy about skinship, nor was Yoon Jooho. But somehow, right now, it was hard to reach out.
It felt strange, almost awkward, to see Jooho suddenly act reserved—so much so that Hyunsoo started to feel embarrassed, too.
Yoon Jooho’s hand fidgeted, then gently reached over, covering the hand Hyunsoo had resting on his thigh.
When Hyunsoo didn’t pull away, Jooho slowly laced their fingers together.
His movements were so hesitant and awkward that Hyunsoo couldn’t help but laugh.
“What? Why are you laughing?”
“It’s nothing.”
“You laughed.”
“It’s just… you look so innocent, sunbae. It doesn’t suit you.”
“I’m not pretending to be innocent, I’m nervous. Isn’t that cute?”
At Jooho’s unusually serious voice, Hyunsoo’s laughter faded as he turned to look at him.
Jooho was staring at him intently, eyes so earnest it almost felt solemn.
Are you going to kiss me? Is this your warning before the real kiss?
His gaze was so clear, so obvious, like an alert right before a first kiss. But this time, Hyunsoo couldn’t laugh.
Closing the gap between them, Jooho slid over, right next to him. Hyunsoo felt sweat bead between their clasped fingers.
After two or three false starts, Jooho’s lips finally landed softly on his.
It was like the kiss of inexperienced boys, just gently pressing together.
Jooho quietly closed his eyes, and, surprisingly, his lips and breath trembled.
Pulling back just a little, he lifted his eyelids and murmured in a daze, as if dreaming.
“Do you know how scared I was?”
“Scared?”
“That I might never do this again.”
With his left hand—the one not holding Hyunsoo’s—he cupped Hyunsoo’s cheek.
In the darkness, Jooho’s eyes glittered like stars. Maybe it was a cliché, but to Hyunsoo, it really did look like that.
So close their noses almost touched, Jooho grinned.
“Of course, no matter how long it took, I was always going to come find you.”
“How were you so sure?”
“Idiot. I meant I’d be willing to invest my whole life.”
Jokingly, he bumped their foreheads together, then kissed Hyunsoo again.
His lips, still cool from the night air, brushed over before he turned and kissed more deeply than before.
The soft friction of their lips, flesh pressing together, sent a shiver down Hyunsoo’s spine.
Yoon Jooho alternately nibbled and sucked on Hyunsoo’s upper and lower lips, gently working at them with his mouth before letting go.
“Mmm…”
A moan slipped from Hyunsoo’s throat, eyelids relaxing. Clutching their joined hands, Hyunsoo squeezed, and Jooho squeezed back.
Carefully, Jooho’s tongue slipped in.
He traced the inner side of Hyunsoo’s upper lip with the tip of his tongue, gliding along Hyunsoo’s teeth.
“Ah…”
Opening his mouth to accept Jooho’s tongue always made Hyunsoo think of sex with him.
A kiss was definitely another version of sex.
A secret act that connected them through moist, unshared membranes—drawing them both into a state of arousal. What else could that be but sex?
He pursed his lips around Jooho’s tongue, filling his mouth with it.
Yoon Jooho’s taste.
Only after holding him in his mouth did Hyunsoo realize just how much he had missed this taste, this feeling.
The faint awkwardness between them melted away as soon as their tongues met. Eagerly, they touched, groped, and clung to each other.
Yoon Jooho’s left hand slipped inside Hyunsoo’s jumper, sliding over his shoulder and pushing back the fabric.
While accepting Jooho’s kisses, Hyunsoo helped him strip away the outer layers.
“Hmm, hh, mmm.”
Pressed by Jooho’s weight, Hyunsoo’s body tilted back. Lying nearly flat on the seat, Jooho half-covered him, bunching up Hyunsoo’s puffer jacket to use as a pillow behind his head.
Jooho kissed and nipped Hyunsoo’s lips all over, plunging his tongue deep to ravage his mouth, teasing the inside of his cheeks, until Hyunsoo felt like he would melt.
Sluuurp. After a deep kiss, Jooho pulled away for a moment, looking down at Hyunsoo’s glistening lips before giving a short, relieved smile.
“You still like it, huh? Kissing me.”
He kissed the tip of Hyunsoo’s nose.
He ran his fingers through Hyunsoo’s messy hair, kissed his forehead, and then slipped his hand under the thick hoodie, baring Hyunsoo’s stomach.
“Ah.”
The feel of Jooho’s hand against his bare skin made Hyunsoo’s waist jump.
He bit his lower lip hard and wrapped his arms around Jooho’s neck as the kissing resumed.
The cramped environment wasn’t ideal for two grown men to roll around in, but the limitations only made it more desperate.
Twisted together in the tight space, both tried to press even closer to each other’s bodies.
Tightly embraced, they flicked the tips of their tongues against one another, twisting together as if trying to tie their tongues in knots.
He stroked Jooho’s neck, ran his fingers along the hairline at the nape, and fiddled with his earlobe.
“Mmm, hnn.”
In an instant, Jooho pulled Hyunsoo’s tongue into his mouth, sucking so hard his entire tongue throbbed.
Loosening the suction to gently lick the back of Hyunsoo’s tongue, Jooho would press down hard again if Hyunsoo tried to pull away.
“Ah, hngh. Mmm… hh.”
A distant, sweet pain echoed from deep in Hyunsoo’s throat.
He slipped his hands under Jooho’s knit, feeling over large and small muscles, broad shoulders.
Jooho squeezed Hyunsoo’s chest, twisted his nipples, stroked his sides.
Every time Jooho thrust his hips up as if penetrating him, Hyunsoo’s mind was stabbed by desire for sex. Hyunsoo locked his legs around Jooho, squeezing him tightly.
He cupped Jooho’s cheeks in both hands, pulling him back from the frantic kiss.
“Hy—sunbae.”
“Yeah.”
Jooho’s short reply was thick with desire. As soon as Hyunsoo’s tongue left his mouth, he couldn’t bear even that gap, showering kisses all over Hyunsoo’s lips.
“Touch me… down there.”
“…”
“I want to rub against your hand, sunbae.”
Hyunsoo grabbed Jooho’s wrist, the one kneading his chest, and guided it down. He pressed Jooho’s hand over his already bulging front.
“Put your hand in and touch my cock.”
Jooho’s brow furrowed deeply as he licked his lips, looking down at the pleading Hyunsoo and clicking his tongue.
“I told you, right? Bibitan, the one that could kill a man.”