Mom, Dad, and Emila unni went out to help Grandma and Grandpa with farm work.
Yuri unni and I were given the important mission of guarding the house.
…Though, honestly, it was mostly because we wouldn’t be of much help.
Anyway, after hearing Mom’s story, my misunderstanding about Dad turned into immense respect.
I wanted to make such an incredibly cool choice in the future too.
But then—
‘Wait, I’m not a guy. I shouldn’t think like that.’
I suddenly realized that my gender had changed.
Up until now, I hadn’t really thought about it.
But imagining the future made me feel a bit overwhelmed, and I sprawled out on the wooden floor.
‘…Will I get a boyfriend? Is it okay if I still like girls?’
Honestly, after disappearing in my past life, I hadn’t really thought about romance.
Being paralyzed from the waist down… well, you know.
Things down there didn’t work.
And my long hospital stay didn’t exactly leave room for those kinds of thoughts.
Even if I try to accept who I am now, that only applies to social relationships.
I still don’t really know about my gender identity.
‘Whatever, I’ll think about it later.’
…
Maybe fate will bring someone to me.
Thinking vaguely about that, I looked up at the blue sky.
“…A season of full-body paralysis.”
“Cheongomabi.” (Autumn, a season of abundance.)
“…The season of cheongomabi.”
It was just a joke, but Yuri unni immediately corrected me with a serious face.
She lifted me up from the floor and placed me on her lap.
“You always say that when autumn comes.”
“…Because it’s funny.”
“It’s not funny at all. Do you know how scary it is to see a paraplegic kid looking up at the sky and giggling about full-body paralysis?”
“……”
Now that I think about it, yeah… that would be kind of terrifying.
A worn-down paraplegic patient, looking at the autumn sky, saying,
‘Heh, heh… the season of full-body paralysis…’
That would send shivers down anyone’s spine.
“…I won’t say it anymore.”
“You’d better not.”
Since we were already reminiscing, we continued talking about our past lives.
Things that happened at Grandma’s house—
“That time, unni, you tripped and fell in the rice field because you were scared of the loach.”
“Yeah, and I got scolded by Mom because I was covered in mud.”
“Then I started throwing loaches at you, and you beat me up.”
“…Ahem, well, that was your fault.”
“True.”
Stories from when I started elementary school—
“You acted like a kid with no emotions back then.”
“Yeah, I did.”
“That’s why your entrance ceremony photos look so funny.”
“Oh, now that you mention it, didn’t I look kind of dazed?”
“Yeah, your eyes were half-closed.”
Yuri unni laughed as she reminisced.
“But at least in your graduation photos, you’re smiling.”
“I worked hard to make you like that, you know.”
“…Yeah, thanks, unni.”
“Don’t mention it.”
We kept talking, flipping through our memories like an old photo album.
The time I entered middle school.
The time unni brought her first boyfriend home and made a fuss about marrying him.
Of course, that guy turned out to be a player.
I spent so much time comforting her when she cried over him.
Then the topic shifted to my love life.
The first confession I ever received—when I was transitioning from middle school to high school.
That autumn day, Gaeul walked up to me, holding her graduation bouquet.
She handed me a letter, her face flushed red, looking so shy as she confessed.
And at that moment, I fell for her.
“What was it like back then?”
“…Hmm… It was nice.”
Unni looked down at me from above and smiled gently.
I let out a hollow laugh in her embrace.
I wondered how Gaeul was doing.
Was she living well?
Had she met a good man?
Lost in thought, I absentmindedly asked Unni,
“Was Gaeul okay?”
“Gaeul?”
Unni looked at me in shock, staring blankly.
“…I thought you didn’t care?”
“…Of course I cared.”
I lowered my head and let out a deep sigh.
It hurt so much that I had never been able to tell her the truth, to tell her I didn’t mean it.
At the very least, I just hoped she had lived happily.
I really, really hoped she did.
But even as I wished for that, a selfish thought crept up from the depths of my heart—
I had never been able to forget Gaeul,
And I wished that she hadn’t been able to forget me either.
“…Do you really want to know? Minho… No, Minho, this will be hard for you.”
“…It’s okay. I’m Minho now.”
I grabbed Unni’s hand and gave her a grin.
“Tell me.”
“…Alright.”
And so, Unni began telling me how Gaeul had lived,
How she had changed after I died.
“Gaeul… cried the hardest at your funeral.”
“Even as she cried, she still came up to apologize for bothering you one last time.”
“…Said you would’ve hated that.”
Unni gently stroked my hair as she continued.
“Even when she couldn’t reach you, she always thought your relationship would mend someday.”
“…That sounds just like Gaeul.”
“…If she had known you were terminally ill back then, do you think things would’ve been different?”
No, they wouldn’t have.
Even if Gaeul had known I was dying, she would have acted the same way.
Maybe it was even better that she never knew.
“…No, I don’t think so.”
“…Yeah, I figured you’d say that.”
“That’s why I kept it from her.”
“…You shouldn’t have. You should’ve given her time to prepare.”
Unni let out a bitter laugh and stopped stroking my hair.
“…Anyway, after that, Gaeul struggled a lot.”
“She’d call me all the time, saying it was hard to build her career after graduating from college.”
“…She even developed depression and had to take a lot of medication.”
“I helped her for about a year, but then I got busy with my own wedding preparations.”
Unni mumbled under her breath, as if regretting what she couldn’t do after that.
“About two years later, she contacted me out of the blue—she was preparing to open a bakery.”
“…A bakery?”
“Yeah, a bakery. She worked really hard, saved up money, and eventually became the owner.”
“…I see.”
“She said she was really disappointed… because originally, she was supposed to run it with you.”
“…Gaeul never dated anyone after that?”
“No, she was too busy. And… she couldn’t forget you.”
Guilt started digging into my chest.
But at the same time, I felt relieved.
The person I couldn’t forget… also hadn’t been able to forget me.
A part of me was glad that she hadn’t moved on to someone else.
‘…Is this how I really feel?’
That thought wouldn’t leave my mind.
…It probably was.
Because back then, I had cried myself hoarse in the hospital room every single day.
Every night, exhausted from fighting my illness, I couldn’t sleep—I just wept.
Telling myself that this was the right choice.
That it was better for Gaeul to forget me.
I still wonder, will they still date in this new life?
I mean, their genders got flipped, so their relationship would be brand new lol