I was the son-in-law of the Ehrenheit family.
Certainly, I was.
But soon after, I was driven out of the family and lived as a porter among mercenaries to survive.
My father passed away early due to illness, and I don’t even know my mother’s name.
To be honest, I don’t have many memories of Yuria.
As time passes, everything becomes blurry.
Childhood memories, even those from early youth, aren’t that vivid when I try to recall them.
Especially since I had already forgotten the last time Yuria showed any concern for me.
But despite all that, even when she abandoned me, I couldn’t let go. I clung to her until the very end.
I thought that even if we fell into the abyss together, as long as she stayed by my side, it would be enough.
And when I finally accepted our separation,
I just pretended to forget, swinging my sword day after day, avoiding the pain.
But the wound still remained.
I kept pushing away the thought that if I had died in her embrace, I wouldn’t have suffered like this.
As time passed, I was lucky enough to survive and adapt.
Then, I was dragged into the battlefield and experienced its horrors firsthand.
A bloodbath where even the purpose of the fight was forgotten.
The nauseating stench of blood, scattered body parts—those are experiences I will never forget.
I survived by recognizing the danger early and hiding, running away. It was a miracle that a mere mercenary like me, not even a proper swordsman, managed to return alive.
But the real miracle came after that.
A brutal battle where everyone but me died.
The one who saved me there wasn’t a member of the Erenheit, nor was it Yuria. It was a one-eyed knight wearing an eyepatch.
But contrary to what I just said, it was me who threw myself in front of her first.
In the hospital room where I woke up, our first meeting began.
“…Huh, you’re still alive.”
“…..”
“If that’s the case… could you move aside? You’re getting heavy.”
“…Ah.”
Eventually, she revealed her identity and introduced herself as a hero.
But her appearance was far from what I had imagined a hero to be.
Instead of shining armor and a holy sword, she wore bloodstained armor that reeked of a nauseating stench.
Her eyes, contrary to what I had heard, had a faint aura of malevolence.
The only thing that glimmered was the well-maintained blade of her sword.
She wasn’t a beautiful swordswoman like a noble lady.
Her face, partially visible under the blood, looked more like a blood-soaked demon than a hero.
In my current state, she was my only hope.
So, I had no choice but to ask her.
What made me indebted to her… was the opportunity she gave me, essentially betting on my life.
I took her hand and said,
Perhaps it was my imagination, but she blinked in surprise for a moment before asking,
“…? Bold of you. Is there something on your mind?”
“I want to learn the sword.”
Ravenscourt Charlotte.
A woman from a prestigious martial family who inherited the hero’s crest and carried on its legacy.
But I didn’t know much about her.
“I refuse.”
She was this cold.
“I’ve seen people like you before. I can’t say they’re all the same, but… most of them are. Still, I’ll thank you for saving me.”
“…I see.”
It seems she doesn’t take on disciples.
If she truly is a hero, as she claims, then she’s not someone who can be explained with simple words.
Just the fact that she accepts disciples would make people line up in droves.
So, it was almost inevitable that I would be rejected.
“If you stay involved with me, you’ll suffer. Live apart from now on. Thanks for saving me.”
But then, something happened.
As soon as she finished speaking, Charlotte stumbled and nearly fell down the stairs.
Clattering sounds echoed from all directions, but in the process, Charlotte didn’t suffer even a scratch.
And the reason was simple.
Someone had caught her before she could fall.
The source of the clattering sound was the teacup she had been holding.
“Uh, a bit… close. Could you let go?”
“…”
In our close proximity, several parts of her body touched mine.
Her disheveled hair, her chest rising and falling with her quickened breath.
Perhaps it was my imagination, but the back of my neck and the tips of my ears felt slightly warm.
After quickly pulling away from me, she said,
“It’s the first time I’ve had such close contact with a man… but let’s leave it at that. It’s better for both of us.”
“Understood.”
“By the way, I didn’t catch your name.”
“…?”
“I said I didn’t catch your name.”
It was unusual for someone to ask for a name.
Most people wouldn’t bother remembering the face of a commoner, let alone ask for their name.
But for her to ask for my name directly…
Was it a sign that she was interested?
“My name is Yujin. I have no family.”
“Yujin… Yujin. It has a nice ring to it. I won’t forget it.”
//
Perhaps it was because I had been having nightmares.
She shook me awake as I groaned in my sleep.
“What kind of nightmare was it that made you look like you were about to die?”
“It’s nothing.”
“…Don’t lie. I heard everything. Were you thinking of that woman again? Why do you long for someone you can never have?”
The hero’s words, unaware of the bitter emotions, stabbed at my heart.
At the time, I barely managed to suppress the surge of emotions that welled up inside me.
At the very least, I didn’t want to show my ugly side in front of her.
“It’s none of your concern.”
I forced the words out and closed my eyes.
I was afraid that if I didn’t, the emotions reflected in my eyes would give me away.
And as I tried to ignore her words,
“You’re quite injured, aren’t you?”
“…Ah.”
It seemed the calluses on my palms had torn open.
Only after her comment did Yujin look at his palms and click his tongue.
The sight of torn flesh and blood was quite gruesome.
It was no wonder she was shocked.
But this person… Does she usually care this much about others?
‘…This is different from what I’ve seen.’
The Charlotte I had known until then was someone who didn’t care about others at all.
That’s how I remembered her from those days.
But now, she was worried about my injuries and reacting sensitively to my responses… What was going on?
At the time, the only way for Yujin to grow stronger was through real combat experience.
But engaging in real combat meant getting injured, and frequently using cheap potions to heal those injuries eventually made the potions ineffective, leading to situations like this.
Charlotte, who couldn’t possibly be unaware of this phenomenon, had a stiffening expression.
“You don’t seem convinced. Is there something else troubling you?”
“…”
I had been pushing myself with the goal of returning to the Erenheit family.
It wasn’t as if Yujin didn’t find it difficult to keep going.
It was only possible because he had the courage to face pain without fear.
But even his mental strength was reaching its limits.
At the same time, his body was also reaching its breaking point.
No matter how hard he tried, it wasn’t enough.
He had been avoiding the truth, but when he coldly assessed the reality, it was clear.
From morning till night, without a moment’s waste, he poured all his time into training and real combat.
While others drank, visited brothels, built families, or even slept in a little longer in the morning, Yujin was drenched in sweat, taking on requests.
Despite all that, he didn’t feel any stronger.
Back then, I would repeat this to myself and then let out a hollow laugh.
No, I knew the truth.
The world is cold, regardless of how much effort you put in.
The gap between me and others isn’t determined by the amount of training alone.
The difference in innate talent, the difference in the swords we wield, the difference in the swordsmanship we’ve learned since childhood, and even the noble bloodline that follows them—these are walls too high to overcome with effort alone.
But all I could do was keep climbing that wall.
Even then, I couldn’t do anything.
…
Several months had passed since that incident.
“It’s about time you admit it.”
Charlotte shook her head, rejecting my request as usual.
She showed no sign of guilt for the countless times she had refused me.
In a way, it was late for her to finally say that it was time to admit it.
But perhaps out of curiosity, Charlotte paused her sword and looked at me, asking,
“Why does it have to be me, out of all the other women? Is there a special reason?”
She sighed deeply, as if the idea of taking on a disciple was beneath her.
I nodded and was about to leave, but my mind was still filled with questions.
‘At this point, why hasn’t she kicked me out?’
If I were bothering her by following her around and asking to be her disciple, she would usually send me away.
But Charlotte didn’t send me away. Instead, she treated me kindly while still refusing.
I don’t really understand. Yujin
From the first day I joined her, Charlotte had been kind to me.
Well, it’s not like she had feelings for me or anything.
If she did, she wouldn’t have refused my request to be her disciple in front of others.
You might ask why I kept pleading even after being repeatedly rejected.
But I had my reasons.
‘I will become stronger, no matter what.’
I will learn something and train it to the end.
I do have some memories of her teaching me.
But what she taught me was so basic that it was almost laughable.
What professional knight cadets could master in a few days, she spent days beating into me, saying that mastering the basics was important.
She never taught me any flashy techniques or the special skills of heroes.
Time passed.
I went from being a teenager to an adult.
Seasons and years flowed like water.
The vibrant autumn faded, and before I knew it, spring had arrived.
She and I were still on the front lines, carrying out dangerous missions, holding each other to ward off the cold in life-and-death situations.
Through it all, I became certain of one thing…
“…Why are you so desperately clinging to me?”
Charlotte, does this woman even have emotions?
She wasn’t swayed by men’s advances, nor did she show any interest in handsome men or powerful figures.
She ignored them all without a change in expression.
She had no intention of giving her heart to anyone, nor did she want to receive anyone’s heart.
Understanding someone’s heart is as difficult as untangling a complex knot.
But just as slowly unraveling the thread eventually leads to the end, a person’s heart is eventually revealed.
After years of constant rejection, even Charlotte couldn’t help but notice.
“…Or is there a reason you have to be like this?”
After so much rejection, she must have known it was impossible.
Even to her eyes, Yujin’s relentless training seemed nothing more than stubborn determination.
“…I don’t understand why you’re like this. You’re quite popular, aren’t you?”
It’s almost annoying.
Given the time we’ve spent together, she continued to show no interest, but constantly rejecting me wasn’t easy.
Especially since we saw each other every day.
But despite her consistent attitude, I placed my hand on her shoulder and met her eyes.
“I was looking forward to spending some time alone with you, but you keep doing this.”
“…!! Th-that’s…-
But, contrary to the expected reaction.
Charlotte couldn’t continue and just looked at me.
Perhaps she saw the sincerity in my eyes.
For a moment, she was overwhelmed with discomfort and embarrassment, but at the same time, her face flushed red.
What’s this? We were just talking about training alone together.
“But, Yujin. You and I…”
She finally spoke, placing a hand on her forehead.
But she couldn’t finish her sentence.
The fact that she was showing such weakness in front of a subordinate made her even more ashamed.
Charlotte’s fingertips trembled slightly as she avoided his gaze.
“Don’t say such things again. I have no intention of sending you away, but this must end here.”
However, as she turned her back, she unconsciously tried to cool the heat on her cheeks with her hand.
Two years had passed since then.
“Since you call me ‘Hero,’ it’s not like it’s doing you any good, so from now on, call me Charlotte. Sorry for saying this so late.”
“…?”
“…It’s nothing.”
I noticed that her attitude had changed drastically.
Her cheeks and the tips of her ears were visibly flushed.
“Did you… Yujin, ever wonder why I didn’t take you as my disciple?”
The sudden question made me tilt my head in confusion.
“The reason I didn’t teach you any techniques was obvious. I wanted to keep you away from the sword.”
“…Keep me away from the sword?”
In response to my question, Charlotte continued as if she wanted me to hear everything.
“But… as time passed, my thoughts changed.”
“…”
“Maybe it was the first time…A man who clings so persistently… Yujin… you… you’re the kind of man who would hold onto a woman once you’ve set your sights on her… Should I have pushed you to the limit…?”
“Yes, yes???”
At my bewildered response, Charlotte cleared her throat and spoke.
“If you’re still single by the time you’re 25… I’ll acknowledge our relationship.”
“Yes?”
“You’ve been turning away from me all this time, haven’t you? So… I’m saying I’ll turn around and accept you.”
Another half a year passed after that.
And what came to me was a familiar misfortune.
Of course, such a promise was never meant to be fulfilled.
She met her death in the next war.
Her remaining eye was gouged out, her arm was severed, and her hero’s crest was taken away.
Her honor was trampled into the dirt, and the funeral was filled with nothing but angry faces.
That was the last bit of happiness in my tragic life.