“This… What is this?”
I muttered, staring at the dazzling light in my hand as if I were seeing something absurd and unbelievable.
“No, no, this can’t be… I must be imagining things…”
Frantically, I rubbed my eyes, hoping I was seeing things.
It had to be a mistake.
But…
“It’s not…”
Reality was cruel. The radiant, pure white light still clung to my hand, shimmering beautifully.
I shook my hand, but it wouldn’t fall off.
I clenched my fist, but it didn’t vanish.
After trying every method I could think of to get rid of it, I had no choice but to accept the truth.
This light was coming from my body.
“Haha… Ha, damn it.”
I wanted to cry.
A hollow laugh escaped me as I pondered why such bizarre things kept happening to me.
Why did I have to go through all these absurd situations, one after another—situations even high-ranking demons rarely faced in their lifetimes?
I mentally screamed at whatever god might exist.
Hey! Did I do something wrong? Is this punishment for impersonating a saint? If so, could you at least explain why this is happening?!
Then I prayed silently.
Please just die. If you’re already dead, resurrect yourself and die again.
If there truly were a god, I wished they’d keel over.
While I was silently cursing the heavens, Agnes ran toward me in a panic.
“Ruina, are you alright?!”
I’m not alright, damn it!
I wanted to shout at her, but I couldn’t. I was still pretending.
Suppressing my frustration at the reality where even my emotions had to be carefully controlled, I forced myself to respond calmly.
“Yes, I’m fine… for now.”
I managed a strained smile, though the effort made the corners of my lips tremble.
“That’s a relief…”
Agnes sighed, her voice filled with genuine relief. Then, after a moment of hesitation, she asked cautiously, “That technique you used just now… Was it something Sir Ares taught you?”
“Oh… Yes, that’s correct,” I lied smoothly.
“I see… I’m sorry for earlier. Your aura and appearance reminded me of someone I know, and I reacted more strongly than I intended. I’m truly ashamed.”
“It’s alright. Please, raise your head. No one was harmed, so let’s just be more careful next time.”
I replied with a smile, as if her outburst were a minor inconvenience compared to the mess I was dealing with internally.
“Thank you… I know it’s shameless to ask after causing such trouble, but I have a favor to ask. Would you be willing to grant it?”
“A favor?”
At my question, Agnes hesitated before replying, her face apologetic.
“Could you keep what happened today a secret from the others?”
“What? Why?”
“I don’t want anyone else to know about… this side of me. I’m a bit embarrassed, but more than that, the current mood among the group isn’t great. I don’t want to add to their burdens or make them worry unnecessarily. Please, keep this between us.”
She bowed deeply as she pleaded.
Suppressing a sigh, I nodded and answered, “Alright, if that’s what you want, I’ll keep it a secret.”
“Thank you… Let’s end today’s training here. I’ll head back first.”
Agnes, her voice heavy with exhaustion, turned and left.
The moment she disappeared from view, I groaned loudly, ruffling my hair in frustration.
“Ugh, seriously!”
Clenching my fists, I exhaled sharply and muttered, “Alright… So this is how it’s going to be?”
I pointed at the sky and shouted, “I’ll make the most of this, you hear me? If you gave me this by mistake, too bad for you! Understand?! Answer me!”
Of course, there was no reply.
Only the occasional chirp of birds broke the silence.
“Ruina? What’s wrong?”
Startled by my sudden outburst, Reina approached hesitantly, her wide eyes full of worry.
Adopting a stern tone, I addressed her, “Reina.”
“Yes!”
“We’re starting special training.”
“What?”
Her voice was filled with confusion, but I didn’t pay it any mind.
I immediately assumed a meditative position, sitting cross-legged on the ground.
Strange power or not, I could figure out how to use it.
Actually, this might be good. It’ll make my act as a saint more convincing.
But first, I needed to understand this power.
Know thyself, know thy enemy, and you shall win every battle.
To wield this foreign energy effectively, I had to learn everything about it.
For that, I needed to focus and study it thoroughly.
Great sages of the past had often meditated to gain insight.
I decided to follow their example.
“Ruina? What are you doing?!”
Reina shook me in alarm, but her interruptions didn’t matter. Nothing could break my focus.
Thinking this, I closed my eyes, shutting out the world.
I felt Reina’s hands on my shoulders a few more times, but the sensation eventually faded.
That must have been my mind slipping into the realm of inner consciousness.
“Agnes! Agnes! Something’s wrong with Ruina!”
I heard Reina’s voice faintly in the distance, but I ignored it.
Tonight, I will discover the truth.
The night stretched long before me.
The Next Day.
After spending the entire night studying the divine energy, I managed to learn a few things about it.
First, this power was remarkably similar to mana.
Through countless experiments, I discovered that this energy could be used in all the ways mana could—magic, aura, and other mana-related techniques.
Second, it originated from a different source than mana.
Typically, demons’ mana flows from their lower dantian, located in the lower abdomen. This is true for me as well; my mana stems from my lower dantian.
But this divine energy was different.
Through careful examination, tracing the flow of energy backward, I found its source:
My middle dantian.
In other words, the energy was rooted in my heart.
What the hell.
The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry.
Honestly, I nearly lost my mind. For a moment, I felt dizzy, my vision blurred.
The only silver lining was that the divine energy wasn’t rooted in my lower dantian. Had it been, I’d have lost the ability to use mana altogether.
But that was merely a small comfort amidst a sea of misfortune.
Damn it.
Lastly, and most frustratingly, the quantity of this divine energy was abysmally low compared to my mana reserves.
Perhaps because it had appeared suddenly, its total volume was laughably small—barely a fraction of my mana reserves.
To put it into perspective, it was less than one percent of my mana reserves, perhaps even less.
I didn’t even have enough to imbue a single strike with aura, let alone cast spells.
This made me angrier.
If this power was going to manifest, couldn’t it at least have done so in abundance? Instead, it appeared in such pitiful amounts that it was practically useless—a liability rather than a boon.
So I racked my brain.
Is this really all there is to it? Isn’t there any way to make it more useful?
Desperately, I searched for solutions.
There had to be a way to increase the quantity or find a unique application for it.
But despite spending the entire night thinking, I found nothing.
In the end, I decided to seek help from an expert in the field.
“Are you asking how to increase the amount of divine energy?”
Bliss asked, her tone tinged with curiosity.
“Yes.”
I nodded firmly.
She hummed thoughtfully before flashing a bright smile.
“If you pray with a sincere heart, it’ll grow over time!”
“Not that,” I replied immediately.
Bliss tilted her head, pondering for a moment, then asked, “Hmm… Besides that, why do you ask?”
I hesitated.
The truth was, I didn’t understand this divine energy at all, but admitting that as a supposed saint could cause problems.
If I say I don’t know anything about divine energy, they might figure out I didn’t have it to begin with.
What should I do…
Suddenly, a past lie surfaced in my mind.
—“So, Lady Ruina, are you truly cursed?”
I had claimed that my mana was the result of a curse.
That’s it!
I could spin this situation as the curse being gradually lifted.
I could say that the divine energy was evidence of the curse weakening, and I needed to figure out how to cultivate it further.
If Bliss believed that, she’d have no choice but to help. As a devout believer, she’d see assisting me as her duty.
Even if she asked how such a miracle was possible, I could simply attribute it to divine intervention. They’d believe it without question.
This lie would not only solve my current dilemma but also help deflect future suspicions.
I smiled inwardly.
Perfect. Time to execute this plan.
“Actually…”
I hesitated for effect, feigning discomfort.
After a few moments, I leaned closer and whispered, “Could I borrow your ear for a moment?”
Bliss leaned in, her curiosity piqued.
“Last night… I think the curse is starting to weaken.”
“Is that true?!”
“Shh! I’m not certain yet, so please don’t shout,” I said, placing a finger to my lips.
Bliss nodded eagerly, and I continued.
“I noticed a small increase in divine energy last night. That’s why I believe the curse might be lifting. I want to find a way to cultivate this energy further.”
“Oh, my goodness! That’s incredible news!”
Bliss’s face lit up with emotion as she clasped her hands together.
“So you’re looking to increase divine energy to help break the curse?”
“Yes,” I nodded, and Bliss placed a hand over her heart with newfound determination.
“Leave it to me! Let’s see… Prayer takes too long, and we don’t have holy water or relics here. But I do have one method!”
“Really?!”
My face brightened.
“Yes, but… it’s a bit unconventional. Are you okay with that?”
“What kind of problem are we talking about?”
Bliss hesitated, scratching her cheek nervously before finally explaining.
“It’s not dangerous or anything. But it does require… physical contact.”
I blinked. “Physical contact?”
“Yes,” she nodded enthusiastically. “For the energy transfer to work, there needs to be direct skin contact.”
I stared at her blankly as she added, “You’ll need to remove your shirt.”
“Do I really have to…?” I asked hesitantly, my voice trembling.
“Yes, Ruina,” she said with a radiant smile, her narrowed eyes oddly intimidating. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it? Besides, this is the only way to increase your divine energy quickly.”
Her cheerful tone sent a shiver down my spine.
“Uh, but…”
“Come now, it’s just your back. I’ll only place my hand on it. No big deal, right?”
Why does everything always end up like this?!
Cursing internally, I reluctantly gripped the hem of my shirt with trembling hands.