The weight of an adult’s contract
‘…A VTuber debut?’
Just yesterday, while casually eating potato chips in bed and chuckling, I never would have imagined something like this.
I, who never once stood in front of others to speak in my whole life, a person for whom luck never came.
I, who had always lived as an extra in events or shows, never even getting a main role.
VTubers are beings who shine brighter than anyone else on the internet, singing songs of hope.
They are called dreams, stars, idols.
Can someone like me, who is nothing special, really do something like that?
“Me…?”
Lying on the soft bed in a daze, I looked up at the ceiling.
It’s not a strange ceiling, just like the one commonly seen. It’s the same ceiling I’ve seen since graduating middle school in my one-room apartment.
I’ve seen it so many times while living alone that it’s not just familiar, but tiring to look at now.
“How did it end up like this?”
Only I have changed.
The world keeps spinning as it always does, but only my body has changed. A new connection with someone named Lee Jiwoo, and the furniture in my home has changed.
If only that were the only change, I might have understood it more.
But there’s the huge lump of fat on my chest, the silver hair, the deep blue eyes.
Does this pale skin still stand out like a light source even at night?
“VTuber…”
And now, the foundation of my life is about to change.
Illustrator Kang Suhyun, who lived quietly drawing pictures while maintaining an air of mystery.
VTuber Kang Suhyun, who now stands with an avatar, smiling and talking to viewers.
Can these two beings be considered the same?
What proof is there that I am not a woman suffering from a mental illness?
In fact, what if the ‘me’ that I’ve always believed to be a man turns out to be fake, and the real me is a woman?
When I think these dark thoughts, I become more confused and my head aches.
A mental illness with such detailed settings isn’t common, but it’s far more common than a man turning into a woman.
Am I really a man?
“No. I can’t think like that.”
Trust yourself.
I muttered the words from my favorite author’s novel and pressed down on my heart.
Would doubting myself only add a “ruined” tag to my life? I still want to be happier.
Let’s only think of thoughts that are good for my health.
Forget the past and imagine a happy future.
My future is definitely going to be happy, that’s already decided.
I can already tell by the increasing number of followers that more people will love my drawings.
What if I even use the beautiful avatar… the avatar I worked so hard on to the point of exhaustion?
A silver-haired, blue-eyed, beautiful girl doing drawing streams with my voice, isn’t that amazing?
Even though I’ve been listening to my own voice for a long time, I still can’t quite get used to it.
When I first saw myself in the mirror, I thought any voice would seem lacking for such a perfect body.
There are many people who are incredibly beautiful but have bad voices.
But since I have the kind of voice that a voice actor would have, I can’t help but wonder why female Kang Suhyun hasn’t debuted as a real idol yet.
Hehe. Actually, after I found out, I laughed for a while at how ridiculous the reason was.
This woman… Her chest is too big.
My guess that it would be around an E or F cup was completely wrong.
Of course, the E cup from anime couldn’t be the same as reality.
When I tried to find a way to wear a bra for the first time, I realized that female Kang Suhyun’s chest was a G cup.
Can a Korean woman really have that?
I’ve talked about some dark things, so to change the mood, let’s look back at my memories. I’ve been cast by famous entertainment agencies many times.
Well, with a body and face like mine walking around, a scout would have to be blind not to notice.
So, after a little hesitation, I tried being a trainee for a few months, but then I gave up.
I received good feedback for singing, but my chest became a huge problem when I danced.
Every time my chest bounced, my shoulders hurt terribly and my body became sluggish.
Of course, if there were other trainees who worked hard and exercised to get a body like this, they could have debuted, but…
For someone like me, who spent most of her time drawing in my room, I couldn’t handle the intense pain in my shoulders.
So, not long after, I gave up on being a trainee. That was actually a relief.
If I had joined as an idol, I would have never been able to manage.
If I had worn makeup and idol clothes… Ugh, I might have bitten my tongue and tried to commit suicide.
Hmm, would people love to hear about this on a stream?
Actually, I was once a trainee, you know…
Of course, it’s hard to believe, and it sounds like one of those internet exaggerations.
Heh. It feels kind of cool to know the truth while everyone else remains in the dark, like I’m some hidden figure.
“Hehe…”
Daydreaming and reminiscing are always great remedies.
The feeling of depression has already disappeared!
Stretching my body, which had been curled up, I glanced at the messages from Biheung that were piled up.
They were mostly about worrying and giving advice. Maybe I had pressured them a bit too much.
Hmph. Well, they should have said something from the start.
But still…
“…I was almost a real idol, you know. It’s different from being a virtual idol, but still. I should try to stay positive.”
In the first place, I can debut whenever I want, right?
That person just wants to call me for a special broadcast on LumiLive.
It means I still have plenty of time to think and prepare.
I already have an avatar with incredible quality, so I just need to have the rigging done.
I’m already starting with hundreds of thousands of won saved compared to other VTubers.
“Since it’s come to this, let’s do it seriously.”
There’s a saying, if you can’t avoid it, enjoy it.
I’ve already signed the contract like an adult.
I glanced at my bank balance.
The food expenses are fine. About thirty thousand won a month is enough to eat well.
Then with this ten million won, I can finally buy what I only dreamed of when I was a man…
A gaming computer.
A graphics card.
A high-end microphone.
Motion capture equipment.
Let’s buy it all. Yeah. Let’s make the investment of the century.
“Yeah. Let’s go!”
“Ha, this is a first for me.”
29-year-old Qpangman Kang Mincheol muttered as he struggled to carry the delivery packages. Behind him, a mountain of large and small boxes piled up.
High-end gaming chairs, graphics cards, microphones, headsets… it was clearly a setup for preparing to be a broadcaster.
In a way, Kang Mincheol was a little excited. Who knows? Maybe he would be witnessing the early days of a famous person.
His tough day always ended by watching internet broadcasts, so he was hoping for a calm broadcast. Maybe something like ASMR or counseling, he imagined with a smile.
“Here it is.”
Mincheol carefully rang the doorbell, his heart pounding.
He was finally meeting a rookie broadcaster!
“Please leave it and go.”
“Yes.”
…
Mincheol’s excited heart deflated with a hiss as if pricked by a needle. The voice was definitely gentle, but…
It was so cold.
It wasn’t nervousness or shyness, but a coldness from sheer composure and calm.
It seems like this isn’t the kind of broadcaster I was hoping for. What a shame.
Mincheol bitterly smiled as he walked down the stairs.
The blonde hair swayed gently. In a white t-shirt and jeans, the cold beauty with a slender figure cut open the box with a utility knife.
Without even glancing at me, she effortlessly shoved the utility knife into the box like it was nothing.
…It’s uncomfortable.
This atmosphere… It’s uncomfortable!
“Kang Suhyun. Why did you ask me to do this if you can’t even handle it?”
“S…Sorry, Jiwoo.”
Tsundere Lee Jiwoo.
The one I find so hard to respond to… someone I don’t even know.
I felt like I had to say something after suddenly being contacted, so I told her I ordered the delivery.
“Seriously, what would you have done without me?”
Lee Jiwoo said that, but…
Her golden retriever-like blonde hair swished, looking quite pleased.
The memory of female Kang Suhyun spoke. That woman is very pleased right now.
“Since my schedule was free and I know how to assemble computers, I came to help. What would you have done on your own?”
I could see her mouth turning upward, but she was pretending not to.
She probably had a part-time job at this hour…
“Yeah. Thanks. I really can’t do it without you.”
I gave a small smile, expressing my gratitude.
“As long as you understand.”
Jiwoo barely suppressed a smile as she assembled the computer. Somehow, she seemed to think that the easy-going female Kang Suhyun was quite easy to handle.
If Kang Suhyun had been a bad girl, this woman would have been exploited.
Clink. Thud.
The computer case was put together, but I didn’t have the ability to come up with a conversation topic.
No matter how much I ransacked my memories of her, I never once led a conversation.
Always…
“By the way, Kang Suhyun, have you thought about my suggestion from last time?”
Yeah. It was like this, she always took the lead.
I just had to respond.
By the way, what was that suggestion from last time…? I don’t remember.
“What suggestion?”
Jiwoo finally turned to look at me.
She tried to sound indifferent, but her voice was filled with excitement.
“The web drama that a senior of mine is doing. You just need to show your face. They’ll pay you, too.”
…A web drama?
So, acting?