Just as humans transition from being unemployed to becoming office workers,
cats also have their own way of leveling up from street cats to “Chamtigers” (a play on “cham” meaning “rank” and “tiger,” referring to a seasoned, well-respected street cat).
The first step in this transformation?
A purification bath.
Some might laugh, thinking it’s too obvious.
A purification bath?
Doesn’t everyone do that?
But do you think it’s easy for a cat to wash with water?
Overcoming their instinct to avoid water and cleaning themselves with something other than their tongue is no small feat!
“Me, me! Save meeeee!”
“Stop being so dramatic, you idiot. The water isn’t even that deep—it only comes up to our necks if we sit down.”
No matter how much cats hate water, there’s a limit to the fuss.
I let the waterfall-like stream hit the top of my head and smacked the brown-furred cat on the forehead with my paw.
“Ow, that hurts…”
“Shut up and just wash.”
Who knows how long it’ll take to get rid of all the garbage smell soaked into our fur.
We don’t even have soap or shampoo, so I have no idea how long we need to soak.
“Ah, this feels refreshing.”
“Re-refreshing? Are you sick or something?”
“What are you talking about? You’re just not used to soaking in cool water. Once you get used to it, there’s nothing more satisfying.”
Even though it’s a bit startling at times, it’s true.
My words seemed to calm the brown-furred cat a bit, and it started walking around the fountain more quietly.
“Ugh, it’s heavy…”
Well, of course, your fur is soaked with water.
But seriously, this grime isn’t coming off.
“Maybe I should go steal some soap.”
“Soap?”
“Humans use it instead of their tongues. It gets rid of smells really well.”
“Humans are so weird. Using their tongues would be so much easier.”
From a cat’s perspective, I guess it is strange.
But for someone like me, who used to be human, it’s a different story.
“Anyway, hurry up and wash. If someone sees us, it’ll be a headache. They might even chase us out.”
“Why?”
“Because humans hate dirty things.”
That’s the biggest reason why stray dogs and street cats are treated differently.
Stray dogs are seen as dirty and dangerous, so people avoid them, but cats look clean, so they’re less off-putting.
Of course, old, sick, or injured cats are a different story…
But unlike dogs, who stick their noses in other creatures’ butts, cats are naturally clean.
“I see…”
“So hurry up and wash. Thoroughly. At the very least, get rid of the stench of rotting garbage that’s crawling with maggots.”
A Chamtiger must always be clean.
As the brown-furred cat finally started washing itself properly, I stopped nagging and focused on my own bath.
The night sky was gradually turning brighter, so dawn wasn’t far off.
“Nine! Look at this! It’s a bug!”
“That’s just a bug, you idiot.”
Sigh.
Why do I have to deal with the responsibilities of parenthood without any of the perks?
As I washed myself while reflecting on the absurdity of my feline life, the sunlight began to greet us.
It’s about time to wrap this up.
“Let’s get out now.”
We’ve been here too long, and my body’s starting to feel chilly.
I led the brown-furred cat out of the fountain and shook myself dry.
“Feels like I might actually live after washing up like this.”
It wasn’t easy to get a proper bath like this back in my hometown.
Even though the city was overflowing with water, most of it was seawater.
Freshwater was precious even to humans, so cats rarely got the chance.
At best, we’d sneak out to a stream on the outskirts of the city at dawn to wash up.
“Nine, what do we do now?”
“We need to dry off first.”
We’re soaked to the bone, so what else can we do?
I quickly scanned the area for a suitable bench.
A bench in a sunny spot.
“This bench looks good.”
The bench I found was in a moderately open area, a fancy wooden one with decorative carvings.
Probably meant for people to relax and enjoy the garden.
From here, you could see the fountain and, beyond it, a flower bed.
This is what you’d expect from the wealthiest academy.
They really went all out decorating the school garden.
I jumped onto the bench and curled up.
“You should get some rest too. Once the humans start moving around, it’ll be hard to relax.”
Since Orca just arrived, I guess there are still a few days left until the entrance ceremony…
But it’s hard to know for sure.
“My body feels heavy…”
“Then shake yourself more.”
Why are you so talkative?
I closed my eyes, letting the chirping of birds in the distance serve as my background noise.
I’ll rest until all this fatigue washes away.
“Nine, Nine…!”
“…What is it? If you’re calling me for something stupid, I’ll beat you up.”
“There’s a human coming! A human’s coming!”
A human?
I opened my eyes at the brown-furred cat’s noisy wake-up call and stretched.
A human in the garden.
Not exactly a rare occurrence.
This garden was made for humans to relax in, so of course they’d come here.
“What do we do?”
“Why are you panicking? Just chill.”
The most important skill for a Chamtiger is the art of push and pull.
A Chamtiger never approaches first.
If you’re too friendly, you might get caught and turned into a house cat.
I have no intention of falling into the trap of domesticated life, so I avoid actively approaching humans.
Even though I’ve gotten used to being a cat, I don’t want to live a life of begging for food by acting cute.
To avoid that, a strict balance of push and pull is essential.
Push them away, then pull them in.
Only when these two are in harmony can the carefree, pleasure-filled life of a Chamtiger truly begin.
“But…I’m hungry…”
“Look at their hands. Do you see any food?”
They’re clearly just a student out for a morning stroll before breakfast.
“Then what do we do? Should we go hunt for mice?”
“Let me show you how it’s done.”
I started grooming myself with my tongue.
The sensation of my tongue brushing through my fur wasn’t exactly pleasant, but after three years, I’ve gotten somewhat used to it.
“Groom yourself quickly. Your fur’s all over the place from rolling around in your sleep. If you approach humans looking like that, they’ll be too weirded out to care about you.”
“Okay, okay.”
This should do.
Once I finished grooming, I turned my attention to the female student who had entered the garden.
Hmm…I don’t recognize her.
I thought she might be one of the characters from the original story, but…
This school is too big for chance encounters like that.
I shifted my posture to make myself more noticeable.
A poised sitting position, with all four paws neatly together and my upper body raised.
And then…I opened my eyes wide.
Why do humans love cats?
Because they’re cute.
Despite all the derogatory nicknames like “fleabag” or “furball,” the reason cats are loved is simple.
They’re cute.
That’s it.
Humans will even keep predators or pit bulls just because they’re cute.
No one expects cats to do housework or cook.
They’re just cute, so humans willingly become their servants.
“If they don’t have a cat allergy, they’ll come to us. So once you’re done grooming, just sit there and pretend you don’t care.”
“Allergy?”
“Some humans hate cat fur.”
Luckily, our first target didn’t seem to have a cat allergy, as she started walking toward us with a smile.
Let’s see how this goes.
When the unnamed student was about five steps away, I let out a meow.
“Meow.”
“Oh my, how cute. Hi there.”
The tired-looking student, with bags under her eyes, seemed completely charmed by my meow. She crouched down and reached out her hand.
Oh, she’s handled cats before.
I stared up at her, my chin slightly raised.
In situations like this, it’s better not to be too eager.
Instead, adopt an attitude of, “I’ll allow you to touch me, but only lightly.”
Seeing that I wasn’t running away and was allowing her to approach, the student cautiously started scratching under my chin.
It’s ticklish, but also kind of nice.
To show I was enjoying it, I closed my eyes.
“Where did you come from, little one? Hmm, where’s your home?”
“Meow~”
I can’t exactly say I came from Port Rock Harbor, so all I can do is meow.
“You don’t look like a stray…you even have a collar…are you someone’s pet?”
“Meow~”
“If only my professors were this cute. When will I ever graduate…I hate writing papers…”
Oh, right there.
Scratch there.
Ah, that feels good.
How much time passed like this? When the hand scratching my chin pulled away, I opened my eyes.
“If I’d known there was such a cute cat here, I would’ve brought some food.”
Yes, that’s what I wanted to hear.
“Will you be here next time?”
“Meow~”
A meow that’s hard to interpret.
But humans tend to interpret it as they please, and the student seemed to take it as a yes, nodding with a smile.
“I’ll bring some food next time. Bye for now~”
Guess she was just passing by.
I watched her walk away, then curled up again.
Time to get some more sleep.
“See? That’s how you reel them in slowly.”
“That was amazing! The human didn’t even kick us!”
Ah.
I sighed at the brown-furred cat’s overly realistic street cat reaction.