The car we were in drove over the suffocating roads of New York, heading toward a children’s psychological therapy center in the outskirts of Manhattan.
Soon, the driver, still holding the wheel, glanced around and spoke.
“We’ve arrived. I can see the sign over there.”
“!”
“!”
Among the red brick buildings, one particularly old building stood out. A metal sign stuck out from the outside of the building, which was surrounded by vines and a small fence.
「J.W Child Therapy Center」
The sign, with its simple design, was named after Dr. Joseph William, the head of the center. It was so minimalistic that it was almost terrifying, providing no information other than what was absolutely necessary.
‘This looks like something that would appear at the start of a Hollywood horror movie…’
What’s more, unlike the bustling city center we had just come from, this place was eerily quiet. The sounds of staff and children’s laughter gently echoed through the air beyond the small fence surrounding the building.
– Should Jack try it this time?
– Yes, Teacher Anthony!
…Haha!
…Ahaha!
For a moment, Mari and I listened to the sounds from inside the car. It was the pure laughter of children, free from any worries about the world.
Mari made a small sound when she heard it.
“…Ah.”
“?”
But she didn’t say anything more after that.
“…”
“…”
The innocent laughter of the children and our silence, as we had come to this distant place after a long journey, created a strange atmosphere.
I casually glanced at Mari.
‘…Could it be that she’s remembering some bad experience from her childhood?’
But Mari seemed surprisingly calm.
“…It’s morning playtime.”
“Eh?”
“It’s morning playtime right now.”
“….”
Mari spoke with a distant look in her eyes. She seemed to be almost returning to the past.
“When Mr. Kang, the manager, used to drive me, Teacher Rosemary, who wore a pink scarf, would greet me. She would say, ‘Hello, Mari?’ and I’d reply, ‘Hello, Rosie Teacher.’ That was the first thing we’d do.”
“Mari?”
“Yeah, my name. The teachers would always pronounce ‘Mari’ as ‘Mary.’ So, I just wrote it as ‘Mari,’ like it was originally meant. Actually, it wasn’t my decision, but Mr. William, the director, and I decided it together. They said it was better if everyone could pronounce it easily.”
“….”
“Then, after I put my bag down, I’d go into the playroom. Everyone would look at me.”
“Because you were pretty?”
Mari shook her head.
“I was the only Asian there. I was the tallest too, so everyone was scared of me. They thought I looked strange.”
“…..”
Wait, is there a racial discrimination issue here…?
‘Well, it’s probably because all the kids here are extreme introverts since they’re at a psychological therapy center.’
Mari continued talking, her voice flat.
“I think the kids were scared of my skin color, so I wore all pink clothes, but… after that, they wouldn’t even talk to me. I guess wearing a pink cape and a hat was too much. Only Rosie Teacher, who liked pink, seemed to like me.”
“Hmm, I see.”
The more I listened, the more sadness crept up on me. But the person telling the story remained indifferent, and that only amplified the sadness.
“So, every morning during playtime, the teachers would play with me. They said I was too quiet. I tried to talk with colors, though.”
“….”
Mari continued speaking, her face distant as she rambled on.
“I’d sit at the red table and count about nineteen white shining clouds, and then the teacher would come in. It was Teacher Theodore, and he always wore a blue shirt.
He has a habit of shaking his ring finger, and he said he got hurt while traveling on February 11th, 1997.
A big gehan bit him hard, he said. Next to Teacher Theodore was a huge purple vase, much bigger than me. When I stood by it, morning playtime would begin.”
“….”
Her explanation, which had become a bit scattered and color-focused, was still understandable.
‘So the other kids didn’t play with her, and when she was just zoning out by herself, the teachers would come over and play with her. So she always waited in a corner until they came.‘
A fragment of a lonely childhood memory had surfaced. The fact that she had such a clear memory made it even more vivid.
“….”
I silently took Mari’s hand.
But Mari tilted her head.
“Huh? I haven’t finished explaining yet…?”
“Uh, yeah? Oh, I see. Your hand is cold.”
“Ah~ right. It’s a bit chilly in New York.”
Mari nodded.
“….”
Awkward…
‘That’s what happened.’
‘I forgot that Mari can be a bit indifferent about things other than art…’
Mari continued her explanation calmly until the very end. About five minutes later, her explanation was fully wrapped up.
“So, Director William, Rosie Teacher, and Teacher Theodore were busy in the morning.”
“……I see.”
To sum it up, the point was clear.
‘The teachers are probably busy with group activities right now, so we’ll need to wait a bit before we can go.’ That was the main message. She had spent a good ten minutes sharing her story just to say that one sentence.
It was a very ‘Mari’ way of speaking.
Well, it’s fine. People get excited when they talk about what they know.
‘Since I asked Mari to guide me, I guess it’s my responsibility. She wouldn’t be interested in things like directions or where the facilities are.’
I felt like I was the one who made her dig up bad memories, and that was my fault.
I decided to think that way.
“…..”
Even after the story ended,
the distant sound of children’s laughter lingered softly in the air.
Ahaha!
– Hahaha!
Morning playtime.
It was a time when children with emotional scars could freely chatter and laugh.
“…..”
I suddenly said to Mari.
“How about we go in together now?”
“!”
Mari looked surprised and responded.
“Huh? But, the director and the teachers…”
“Then let’s go and join them.”
“What?”
“If Dr. William and the teachers can only talk to us after this session, wouldn’t it be better to spend time together up front?”
“What do you think?”
“…..”
Mari seemed to hesitate a little.
I grabbed her hand gently.
“Do you think it’ll be too hard?”
“….”
*
“….”
Hmm?
I wonder if it’ll be okay?
Strangely enough, I didn’t feel particularly anxious. My heart, which would usually pound whenever I thought about being around people, wasn’t beating fast at all.
Should I do it?
Why was that?
Suddenly, the eyes of the children who were laughing and playing during morning playtime came to mind. But looking back, those kids were all shorter than the purple vase. I had somehow grown taller than that vase.
‘If they’re that small… I don’t think it would be a problem to look over here a little….right?’
And besides, isn’t Hana right next to me?
“….”
Before I knew it, words of affirmation slipped out of my mouth.
“Maybe…?”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I think it’ll be okay if I go with Hana.”
“Great!”
“!”
Uh-oh.
I messed up.
‘I said whatever came to mind.’
Then Hana smiled and opened the car door. The warmth from her small hand made me feel like I was being gently pulled along without even realizing it.
Hana turned back with confidence and spoke, her eyes filled with the blue sky.
“Let’s go together and at least say hello. If we just stay in the car, they’ll think it’s strange. Theo and Rosie might be really happy to see us.”
“Do you think so…?”
One of them said that confidently, walking briskly forward. The small legs, though cute, were quickly outpaced by the bold steps. Before long, the familiar front gate of the center was right in front of them.
Huh.
Huhh.
Is this the right place?
Can we really go in?
-Screech!
With the rusty hinge creaking, the children playing in the small yard stopped and looked over. The little ones hid behind the teachers. Several teachers, dressed in colorful clothes, came forward.
“Who…?”
“Who are they…?”
Under the weight of their stares, a sudden urge to run away rose.
But the warmth of the small hand gripping hers kept her planted, like a stake in the ground.
Confidently, one of them spoke up.
“Hello, Dr. William. I’m the writer I mentioned earlier. Sorry for the sudden visit, but I brought a friend who has some memories here. Would it be alright if we took a look around together?”
… Dr. William, covered in dirt and worn out from playing with the children, dusted himself off and answered cheerfully.
“Ah…! Of course. If that’s the reason, you’re more than welcome.”
Then, a middle-aged Black woman in a pink outfit approached from beyond.
“…Mari?”
“!”
Rosie looked different from her memory—her wrinkles had deepened, and she had gained weight. But the kindness in her eyes hadn’t changed.
Rosie, almost in disbelief, spoke.
“Mari…?”
-Hello, Mari?
Hearing that familiar voice, without realizing it, she answered.
“…Hello, Rosie.”
“How…! Mari! Oh my goodness, look how beautifully you’ve grown! That tiny little thing!”
“It’s been 10 years.”
“Has it really been… Is the child next to you your sibling?”
“….”
With tears in her eyes, Rosie walked over and gently touched her face with both hands, her expression just like the one in the memory. The sweet smell of candy lingered on her warm, dark hands.
Ah…
It’s exactly the same.
“….”
Fragments of memories began to flow in her mind.
– Mari, today let’s find a friend to play with.
– But whenever they see me, they all run away.
– If you find a child you can be friends with, hold on tight so they can’t run away. Once you start talking, you’ll be friends in no time.
But a few weeks after that, she ended up going to the city with a certain artist. In the end, she hadn’t followed that advice. And it became a memory, something she lived with as a past for the next 10 years.
“….”
Hana had been silently watching with a smile on her face for a while.
“….”
Without realizing it, she lifted the hand she was holding.
‘It was Hana who held on to me…’
For some reason, she felt like she needed to say this.
“……I finally found a playmate, Rosie.”
“!”
Rosie smiled brightly and embraced her.
Somehow, she felt a bit relieved.
Though it had been a sudden turn of events, that made it easier to shake off. It felt like finishing a sketch that had been left untouched for 10 years.
*
Riding the momentum, I decided to visit, and to my surprise, Mari was having a smooth conversation with someone named Rosie.
“Then, has Theodore stopped working here?”
“Yeah, he joined an overseas volunteer organization recently…”
I watched them with a contented smile.
“Hahaha! You’re so tiny, big sister!”
“Small, small!”
“I’ll make you my servant!”
“…”
…While being swarmed by the little kids.
These kids, who couldn’t do anything to Mari, who was taller, were all over me, grabbing me and pulling me around, showing off their collection of things.
“Look at this! These are the rocks I collected!”
“Look at the blocks I made!”
“…Oh, I see. That’s great.”
Someone came to offer me help.
“Alright, snack time! Everyone, go wash your hands!”
“Yes! Dr. William!”
“Yes!”
Dr. William chuckled as he looked at me, disheveled.
“Well, well… I heard you were a young genius, so I imagined you to be quite extraordinary. But you’re really kind and friendly.”
“Haha…”
“And you’re even friends with Mari.”
“Mari, you remember her?”
“Of course. I can remember all the kids who come to the center. Mari, especially, stood out for her talent in art. She was quite impressive.”
“I see.”
Dr. William sat next to me, his mood shifting from earlier’s casual vibe to a more serious one, with calm eyes.
“…Thanks to this strange connection, I think I can ask you for one more favor.”
“A favor…?”
“Instead of us transporting all the leftover TVs, monitors, and equipment from the center, would you be willing to…”
“…!”
It was a surprisingly bold proposal. The financial aspect was almost entirely overlooked, which felt like more of a favor. The offer was almost intimidating in its generosity.
-Gulp…!
I wondered what kind of request he’d make.
Dr. William hesitated before speaking again, his expression a little awkward.
“Would you be willing to teach the kids some art in the afternoon?”
“…”