Chapter 67 : Masturbation?

Life never seems to go as planned.

Sometimes, even when you give your all, the results fall short, leaving you sighing in frustration.

Usually, such outcomes are caused by external variables.

This moment was one of those situations.

After the diagnosis, the greenhouse returned to silence.

Usher sat across from Bersia with a very serious expression.

It was only natural. Although things were still under control, if they continued to escalate so easily, that stability would soon disappear.

Judith had taken additional measures, such as strengthening the seal, but, as with any illness, the will of the person afflicted was the most important factor.

One night—no, technically two nights—and this happened, so seriousness was warranted.

So, Usher opened his mouth to speak.

But it wasn’t easy.

“I’ll ask directly.”

“Yes, go ahead.”

“Saintess, did you…”

The words stopped abruptly.

‘Did you, uh, resolve sexual excitement by yourself last night?’ was not something easy to say, even as a joke.

It wasn’t surprising; Usher had no immunity to this kind of talk.

Sure, he had heard many vulgar words from Bersia, but hearing them and speaking them aloud were two entirely different experiences.

“Did you, uh…”

Usher’s face turned increasingly red.

His expression twisted in embarrassment.

His body even started to tense up, and the conversation stalled.

At that moment—

“Masturbation?”

“Ah!”

“What’s so embarrassing? Masturbation, self-pleasure, solitary release…”

“Ah! Ah! Ah!”

Usher flinched at the sudden barrage of words.

Bersia let out a hollow laugh and said,

“I didn’t do it.”

“…Ah?”

“I didn’t. Do you think I’d do something like that while this curse lingers on me?”

Usher looked doubtful.

Given her usual behavior, she seemed like someone who would absolutely do that.

Bersia propped her chin on her hand and raised one eyebrow.

“What’s this? That’s oddly insulting.”

“No… I mean… if you didn’t do anything, why did the mark grow longer?”

Usher only spoke with his eyes, but Bersia caught his meaning.

“I didn’t do it.”

“You didn’t… uh…?”

“Eek?! Yes, I get it! Stop!”

Usher’s lips trembled.

He covered his face with his hands, and Bersia sighed.

“Just…”

“Yes…”

Bersia fell silent.

Usher peeked at her through his fingers and noticed an unfamiliar expression.

“…Saintess?”

“……”

Bersia still had her chin propped on her hand.

She was also staring off into space with a sullen look.

That was fine, but…

“…Saintess, are you okay?”

Her face seemed oddly red.

Out of concern, Usher asked, and Bersia replied,

“Anyway, I didn’t do it. I’ll be careful from now on.”

Careful about what, if she hadn’t done anything?

The question lingered unanswered, but Bersia didn’t seem inclined to explain further.

In the end, all Usher could do was suppress his doubts and nod.

Bersia felt out of place.

After all, it had been so long since she was back in her original body, and adjusting to it was proving to be quite the challenge.

Usher’s body had been strong.

His senses were sharp, and his stamina was nearly endless.

His body maintained peak condition at all times, but now that she was back in her own body, all of that was gone.

The feeling of decline is always sharper than the feeling of growth.

Just as Usher had adapted to Bersia’s body, Bersia was now experiencing this adjustment.

It was worst in the morning, right after waking up.

Her whole body felt stiff, heavy, and sluggish—like wet cotton.

That alone was exhausting, but there was something even more troubling.

‘…Ah.’

It happened again.

Another dream.

Bersia pressed her lips together tightly.

Slowly, she sat up and grabbed the small hand mirror on the bedside table.

She turned to look at her back.

It had grown again. About the length of a fingernail.

Cold sweat trickled down her forehead.

And her face turned slightly red.

If Usher saw her now, he would be shocked by her shy reaction, but at this moment, Bersia was alone in her bedroom.

Why had the mark grown?

Did she masturbate? Or perhaps she had an erotic dream?

All wrong.

Bersia recalled the dream she had last night.

It was an embarrassingly sweet dream, even by her standards.

—”I like you, Saintess.”

In the dream, Usher had taken her hands and confessed his feelings.

His smile radiated boyish innocence, and his eyes gleamed with untainted love.

And then, he kissed her.

That was it—that’s where the dream ended.

So… she had that dream, and the mark grew.

How could she possibly explain this to someone else?

Sex, masturbation, penis, boobs—Bersia could say those words with a snicker.

But because she was that kind of person, pure emotions felt even harder to express.

It felt unbearably corny and cringeworthy.

Honestly, it would’ve been easier to say, “Yeah, I had a filthy dream and rolled around in passion. Got a problem?”

But to say, “I had a dream where the knight confessed to me, and I got excited,” was utterly impossible.

She’d rather hang herself than say something like that.

Bersia didn’t know whether to be relieved or dismayed by the realization that there was still some innocence left within her.

It was in the midst of this turmoil—

“Saintess! It’s time for your—oh, you’re already awake?”

Darlin entered the room.

Her face was bright with a cheerful smile, something Bersia still wasn’t quite used to.

In her memory, Darlin was always a child who nervously glanced around, trying to gauge Bersia’s mood.

Honestly, that had been more comfortable for her.

After all, Bersia was someone who preferred silence over conversation.

She only became talkative around Usher.

Even she found it strange how much she spoke when he was around.

In any case, now that she was back in her original body, should she make Dallin quiet again?

She thought about it but didn’t act on it.

—”Why don’t you try being kind to others?”

Usher’s gentle suggestion occasionally resurfaced in her mind.

And she couldn’t help but think of the events from the previous day with Usher.

It wasn’t out of pure goodwill, but with a clear purpose in mind—because it was Usher’s opinion, and she wanted to respect it.

“Good morning.”

For the first time, Bersia greeted Darlin first.

Darlin’s face lit up with a bright smile.

“Yes! It’s a good morning!”

Darlin’s naturally sunny personality made her beam with joy.

She reminded Bersia of a little puppy wagging its tail at every human it met.

Bersia couldn’t help but smile faintly.

She’d never done something like this before, but as Usher said, greeting others wasn’t such a difficult thing.

Because of the mark, she didn’t allow anyone to assist her in bathing.

After Darlin finished tidying the room and left, Bersia washed herself and changed clothes.

She met Usher in the afternoon.

“Good morning, Saintess!”

“It’s afternoon.”

“Haha, well, today we had joint training, so…!”

She already knew.

The only surprising thing was how smooth and refreshed his face looked after all that sweaty, exhausting training.

Well, he was still a knight, after all.

At that moment, Bersia realized for the first time just what kind of person Usher truly was.

Immediately after, she absentmindedly recalled the events of the morning.

Should she tell him about greeting Darlin first?

But she stopped herself.

Saying it out loud and expecting praise felt far too childish.

“Yes, well. Good work.”

In the end, their conversation ended with a typical greeting.

That’s how the day began.

There was still no sign that her body would change back.

Maybe she’d stay like this forever.

That thought gave her a strange feeling.

There was a time when such thoughts would have filled her with crippling anxiety, but not anymore.

It was all thanks to Usher.

A stable mental state—it felt appropriate to describe it that way.

Bersia found this version of herself both fascinating and unfamiliar.

She was lost in those thoughts when—

“Ah, there’s a meeting today. I’ll escort you to the conference room!”

“You seem to be in a good mood.”

“Of course! Now I can truly serve you as your knight!”

“Hmmm…”

In the end, people are creatures who react to what they see.

The same words, the same actions—but coming from a man’s body, they looked different somehow.

Well, this wasn’t so bad.

Usher was an excellent knight and an even better partner.

With him by her side, life in the Order and any upcoming crises didn’t seem so daunting.

Maybe everything really would turn out okay.

That thought crossed her mind, but it didn’t take long for her to realize it was a mistake.

“Greetings! Hello!” Therbion called out.

“Ah, yes.”

“Kyaa!”

On the way to the conference room—

At that moment, Bersia felt her emotions curdle and rot away.

She realized where the lingering, sticky gazes of the priestesses, which had grown more frequent when she was in this body, were now directed.

When those gazes were on her, she hadn’t thought much of it.

After all, they were directed at her, and Usher’s irritated reactions were amusing.

But now, things were different.

“…Ah.”

“Hm? What’s wrong, Saintess?”

Bersia looked at Usher.

That innocent face, completely unaware of the issue.

If those priestesses harbored indecent intentions and made a move, this clueless man wouldn’t even notice.

Someone other than her might touch him, embrace him, or seduce him.

And since they weren’t together 24 hours a day…

The more she thought about it…

The worse she felt.