Chapter 60: You Won’t Miss Out For A Week, Limited Time Only!

Despite my efforts to maintain a light-hearted atmosphere throughout, the battle turned out to be much rougher and more challenging than I had anticipated.

Taking down enemies without killing them is no easy task.

Even in modern times, with advanced tools like tasers, there are still criminals who ultimately need to be subdued with live ammunition.

In the midst of rabid dogs—no, rabid cats—with half-rolled eyes and sharp fangs, holding my ground was anything but easy.

Still, I managed to come out without any serious injuries…

“Ah, Saha! You’re bleeding on your thigh!”

“Ah, I see. Thank you for pointing that out. A bandage should take care of it quickly, or I could ask Johanna for help.”

…Well, there were a few injuries, but nothing life-threatening, which was a relief.

Especially in Saha’s case, since we confiscated her usual weapon and replaced it with a non-lethal one, she had to be extra careful with her strength.

“Johanna! Over here! Take a look at Saha!”

“Coming~!”

Today’s MVP.

The greatest contributor to the non-lethal route.

The living legend, the Saint herself.

I called Johanna over to tend to the wounds of our brave warriors, including Saha.

After all, the prisoners of war are still alive.

As long as they’re alive, that’s what matters. They could have been dead.

We spared their lives.

As I thought about giving Johanna a praise sticker on her forehead later, I turned my attention back to Ruyen.

“J-just kill me already…! You bad dog! Pig dog! Gluttonous dog!”

Ruyen, with her limbs tightly bound, was slamming her tail on the ground in frustration.

That repetitive way of speaking is so cringy; it’s hard to get used to.

“It’s… edible, I guess! One more? One more! King!”

Rumi, the brave general who single-handedly broke through enemy lines and captured the enemy leader with her ingenious clone technique.

She was pulling out Churu sticks one by one from the pouch we confiscated from Ruyen, munching on them with delight.

With each Churu that disappeared, the empty wrapper would plop down.

“Meow…!”

It landed perfectly in front of Ruyen’s nose.

Five wrappers had already piled up.

“Rumi, how many are left?”

“Just a few left, Jooin-nim!”

At Rumi’s words, Ruyen’s face turned pale.

Her trembling pupils shifted from the pouch in Rumi’s hand to my face, then to the empty Churu wrappers that had been drained of their contents, leaving only the scent behind.

“T-those are really precious…! Y-you can’t eat them all…!”

I see.

I see.

With the most villainous smile I could muster, I scratched my chest and replied sincerely.

“Don’t care.”

There’s no such thing as courtesy toward a captured enemy leader.

You should be grateful we’re not committing war crimes by being excessively cruel.

“Meow! I’ll talk, I’ll talk…!”

There’s still one left.

“Really? Sounds suspicious. Rumi, eat one more. If it’s not tasty, throw it to Renatel.”

“Hmm, it’s not that great, but still edible! Nom!”

“Why am I suddenly…?”

“How… how can you be so cruel…! Sob, waaah…!”

I successfully broke her.

Ruyen began to sob.

Regret for daring to defy the hero party, relying on Neb.

Despair at seeing her Churu stolen right before her eyes.

And the lingering attachment to what remained.

After feeding her this much despair,

it was time to give her the promised cider.

“Alright, since lying won’t get you anywhere, let’s go through everything again, one by one.”

By the way, today’s lie detector is Tina.

If she says, ‘That sounds plausible! Seems true!’ it’s a lie.

If she says, ‘That’s weird. Isn’t it too obvious?’ it’s the truth.

Damn it, Tina.

Are you the strongest even at detecting lies…?!

***

Ruyen, with tears and snot streaming down her face, passionately confessed.

Her testimony earned Tina’s stamp of approval: ‘What kind of obvious story is that? It’s even more suspicious!’

Meaning it was 100% trustworthy.

I gave Tina a Churu as a reward, but she took one bite and spat it out.

She’s good at using cat-speak but hasn’t quite mastered the feline eating habits.

“Meow…! Only seven… only seven left…!”

As Ruyen clutched the retrieved Churu pouch, counting the diminished supply and sobbing, I felt a tiny bit of sympathy.

But a prisoner is a prisoner.

If I let her go, she’d just cause trouble again on the 19th floor.

“Enya, keep a close eye on her.”

“In honor of the Rangin tribe, I’ll make sure to watch the Myoin tribe closely.”

“Don’t cut their tail fur.”

“……”

What’s this silence?

Did Renatel pick up the habit of looting in the meantime?

I’m a bit worried.

But for today, this is enough.

My finances are on the verge of collapse.

I need money, money…!

The shop owner, always struggling with a lack of gold.

Is this really okay?

***

Thud —

My BB gun revolver made a refreshing sound as it struck an empty liquor bottle.

It didn’t even knock it over, let alone make it stagger.

In other words.

My spiritual pressure.

Meaning, the lovely pile of gold coins in my chest is nearly depleted.

“Sigh.”

Ironically, the problem lies with me.

The floors of the conquered tower are accessible not only to the heroes contracted with me but also to others freely.

Of course, it’s not like the missions I receive near the Revelator, where I clear areas one by one.

Instead, vast open-world-like fields are freely accessible, and non-contracted heroes can hunt monsters, mine minerals, or engage in various production activities there.

But?

Most of the byproducts from those activities are bought by us.

If we don’t buy them, the shop’s popularity and reputation plummet, so we have no choice!

No matter how much we squeeze the hard-earned money—no, alcohol-soaked money—from non-contracted heroes, it’s like pouring water into a bottomless pit.

This can’t go on.

We need a fundamental change…!

In the end.

“Hey, Ellis?”

“Our master, Ark-nim, sought me out first, and with such a pitiful expression too. Hehe, should I hug you? Or kiss your cheek? Or have you finally decided to perform a sacred act?”

The girl’s action-packed flirting came at me immediately.

But I couldn’t succumb to such light temptations.

Johanna would shove a holy book into my head.

…Well, looking is fine, but touching is still a bit too much for me.

Otherwise, I would have already graduated from being a virgin.

Probably. 

Or not.

“Never mind that… Do you happen to have any alchemy potions that could sell for a high price at the shop?”

“Hmm.”

Ellis’s eyes narrowed.

“Not the kind that boosts stamina.”

It would definitely sell well, but…

“My, my, excluding the best-selling item? Are you testing me? Let’s see, what would be good.”

As Ellis hummed and fiddled with the potions on the display, I glanced at my smartphone.

…Somehow, I had already reached Alchemy Level 3.

She’s really talented.

“Hmm, how about this?”

Ellis handed me a few potions to examine.

– Temporary Sleep Liberation Potion.

“If you drink this, you can go without sleep for about three days and still function normally.”

That sounds tempting…

But there’s no such thing as a free nap loan.

This is a lesson I learned the hard way, working nearly 90 hours a week.

“Side effects?”

“Well, once the effect wears off, you’ll have to sleep for all the time you missed.”

“Rejected.”

Look at her, spouting nonsense with that bright smile.

Next.

Among the various potions with outstanding effects but insane side effects that could turn you into a half-wit,

I began to wonder if alchemy’s max level wasn’t 99.

Maybe that’s why Level 3 results are so mediocre.

A perfectly reasonable deduction.

But then.

“This, this is…!”

“Oh my, Master Ark-nim, have you been having hair troubles lately? It’s a big deal if you’re already losing hair at such a young age.”

Ellis’s barking voice barely registered in my ears.

I felt like I had stumbled upon a rare opportunity.

***

In the city of heroes, Celestia, of course, there are many people living here besides the heroes.

Originally, it was a city that existed long before, and in terms of ratio, the non-heroes make up the vast majority.

It’s safe because the heroes are here!

You can easily find things that are hard to get elsewhere!

Safety and economic stability are enough reasons to willingly leave your hometown and settle in a new city.

And in Celestia’s market district.

“Here, here! The legendary medicine has arrived!”

A hooded man appeared.

Even the Saint, revered by all in the city, was with him.

All eyes in the district turned to them.

– Legendary medicine? Does such a thing exist?

– His tone sounds like a cheap medicine peddler, but the Saint is with him.

– Is that the Revelator next to him?

– No, it’s the owner of that general store, the one the heroes frequent. I saw it with my own eyes.

Murmurs.

Everyone shared their thoughts on the unusual scene they were witnessing.

Once a decent crowd had gathered,

the suspicious hooded medicine seller opened his mouth.

“Every morning. When you see the pile of hair on your pillow and in the bathroom, it stresses you out, doesn’t it?”

A wide-area provocation!

The bald, the balding, and the soon-to-be-bald all erupted in anger.

If it weren’t for the Saint, they would have grabbed that crazy medicine peddler and…!

Ignoring the disrespectful atmosphere,

the suspicious skinny medicine seller dropped the bomb.

“First, let me tell you about the side effects of this legendary medicine. If you take this, your appetite will increase so much that if you don’t control yourself, you could quickly become a pig.”

What on earth is he talking about?

Who in their right mind would take a medicine that turns them into a pig?

The citizens fell into even greater confusion.

“How can that be a legendary medicine?!”

Even with the Saint present, voices of protest began to rise.

But the suspicious skinny medicine seller stood firm.

And dropped the final bomb.

“If you drink this, your hair won’t fall out for a week! Only 20 bottles, limited sale!”

Immediately after.

The plaza was engulfed in madness.

In the midst of the frenzy,

Johanna, unable to overcome her rising embarrassment, bowed her head deeply.

“Y-yes… it’s true that it’s effective…”

As the Saint, who couldn’t lie before the goddess, she added the holy seal of approval to the medicine seller’s authority, answering the citizens’ questions.

It took less than 10 minutes to sell out.

And Ark’s Capitalism-Howitzer-Revolver became powerful enough to easily shatter a liquor bottle and still have energy to spare.

Though it was still only about 0.1 Rumi in power.