Chapter 6 : Pudding is always right

I’ll let it slide just this once.

Of course, of course, our Maru is such a good kid.

I told you not to treat me like a child…!

The commander handed me a pudding, then went back to his seat.

As a bonus, he patted my head before leaving.

Ugh, unbelievable.

Does he think he can solve everything by just giving me pudding? Huh?

-Om nom nom.

…Maybe he’s right.

You’re eating well, our Maru.

‘Nunu, I’m telling you, I’m not a kid…’

Alright, alright. But more importantly, Nunu? That sounds too formal. Can’t you just call me ‘Unnie’? Hm?”

Absolutely not.

You’re so mean…

I could sense Nunu sulking beside me.

But… this can’t be helped.

Unnie?

You’re telling a manly guy like me to call someone ‘Unnie’?

Even if I had to, I’d say ‘Noona,’ but never ‘Unnie.’

If I called her ‘Unnie,’ I feel like my masculinity would start chipping away.

…That is, if I even have any left.

Anyway, it’s absolutely not happening.

Tap, tap.

Oh, the monster extermination fee has already been deposited.

While I was lost in thought, the commander was marveling at the computer screen.

Apparently, the monsters I dealt with had been wreaking havoc around the deserted command base.

They must have been quite infamous because, besides the initial bounty of 100 gems, an additional 100 gems were transferred as a bonus reward.

At this rate… Alright, since Nunu is new here, we should have a small welcome party.

A w-welcome party?!

Hearing the commander’s words, I jumped up and down on the sofa.

A welcome party—does that mean what I think it means?

Lots of delicious food, meat, sushi, sweet desserts, and everything?

Like a cheese fountain, macarons, ribs, and all that good stuff?!

Our Maru just got really excited. Commander, you can’t disappoint her now.

Uh, um… now you’re making it sound like a lot of pressure.

I could hear Nunu and the commander chatting beside me, but their voices didn’t register in my mind.

Hurry, let’s go! I’m hungry!

Hmm, alright…

I’m coming for you, cheese fountain and macarons!

I should’ve noticed when we were heading to the kitchen.

What is this?

I don’t know what you imagined, but this is good too.

Ugh…

Where are my macarons? Where’s the cheese fountain?

Sure, the chicken is tasty, but still…

Maru? If you’re not going to eat it, I’ll take the drumstick.

Huh? No, you can’t!

As Nunu suddenly reached for my drumstick, I quickly took a big bite from it.

-Crunch, crunch.

…!

The crispy sound echoed as my eyes widened.

The crunchy batter stimulated my taste buds, and the inside was juicy yet not too greasy.

In short, it was incredibly delicious.

What is this? This isn’t the chicken I used to know. Was fried chicken always this good?

It’s been a while since I last cooked, so I was worried, but it turned out well.

Haha, surprised? This isn’t just an ordinary chicken.

Seeing my expression, the commander sighed in relief, while Nunu patted my head again.

…It hasn’t even been 30 minutes since I told them to stop treating me like a kid.

More importantly, what does he mean by “not just an ordinary chicken”?

Could it be monster meat or something?

We added components from monsters, repeatedly modified the breed, and after many iterations, we got this chicken.

In a way, you could say it’s similar to us mercenaries.

The only difference is that instead of getting stronger, it got tastier.

So it’s not exactly monster meat, but it’s close.

But is it really okay to eat something that was modified like this?

Isn’t this the kind of thing people used to make a fuss about, like that whole MSG controversy?

Hmm… I don’t know.

Maybe they just gloss over complicated settings like this, typical of a low-effort game.

Alright, let’s dig in.

Yes!

While I was lost in thought, the commander, having finished washing the dishes, sat at the table.

And then… he handed me the last remaining drumstick?

Huh, what? Commander?

Maru, what’s wrong? Are you still sulking?

No, that’s not it…

I held up the drumstick I had taken a bite out of.

I was already eating one—why give me another? That’s what I meant.

Seeing my reaction, the commander suddenly smiled.

Ugh. What’s with that grin?

Hmph.

Huh, huh?!

While I was still confused, my plate suddenly had one drumstick and two wings added to it.

Including the one I was already eating, I now had all the best parts of the chicken.

If you need more, I can fry some, but for now, let’s eat.

Uh, um…

Hm? Maru, it’s fine. I’m on a diet, so I only eat chicken breast these days.

…You’re saying that, but you’ve been drooling the whole time.

As I took another bite of the drumstick, the commander looked flustered, as if I’d hit the nail on the head.

Mmm, it really is delicious.

Haha. Maru, you’re sharp. But you’re still growing, so you should eat a lot.

That’s right, that’s right. The commander is right.

I wanted to share my chicken while saying, “Don’t treat me like a kid,” but the temptation of the drumsticks in front of me was too strong.

No, honestly, who can resist golden, crispy drumsticks? And there were two of them.

“Uh, um… If you insist that much…”

…Okay, just this once.

I’ve been starving all day and even fainted, so it’s only because I’m hungry.

Just this one time, and after that, I will never forgive this again!

• Press.
• Munch munch.
• Press.

What now?

I was enjoying my chicken when Nunu, who was sitting next to me, kept poking my cheek.

…Nunu, don’t press my cheek. It’s getting in the way of eating.”

“Ah, sorry. It was just so soft and squishy that I couldn’t help myself…”

Hmph.

I turned my head away.

“Huh? Maru? Maru…?!”

I said I wouldn’t forgive this next time.

Of course, I didn’t say it out loud… but at least have the sense to know that I hate being treated like a kid.

Anyway, I’m sulking. Super sulking.

I won’t talk to Nunu ever again.

…Actually, forever seems a bit too much. Maybe just for today.

“I even brought pudding for Maru, but I guess you’re full.”

Flinch.

The word “pudding” sent a shiver down my spine.

My body, remembering that sweet and smooth taste, reacted automatically.

Saliva was already pooling in my mouth.

Chicken and pudding… that’s kind of a weird combo.”

“Shhh, Commander.”

Oh no.

This is bad.

To eat the pudding, I have to talk to Nunu.

But it hasn’t even been a full minute since I decided not to talk…

Ugh, ugh… What do I do?

“Oh well… Since Maru is full, we’ll just eat the pudding ourselves, right?”

“Ah, yeah. No choice. Since Maru is full.”

The sound of pudding wrappers being peeled filled the air.

If I hesitate any longer, it’ll be too late.

I’ll be left staring blankly at an empty pudding container.

“No! I’m not full! Give me the pudding!”

And I made my decision quickly.

…Let’s go with three strikes. Two times is still acceptable.

For real, really really, next time, I won’t forgive it.

Got it?!

“Hehe…”

“Hahaha.”

I puffed up my body as much as possible to look scary and fierce, but they just laughed and patted my head.

…My intentions weren’t conveyed at all.

In the end, I had to endure endless head pats until I finished both my chicken and pudding.

This is driving me crazy.

Oh, but the pudding was really delicious. If I had missed out, I would have regretted it forever.

After a chaotic mealtime, Nunu and I were walking toward the mercenary dormitory.

It wasn’t even that late, but the reason we were heading back was because of the commander’s orders.

Since Maru is short, sleeping early helps with growth, so I was told to sleep early.

Considering I fought monsters all day and was exhausted, plus there was nothing much to do on the first day, I was dragged away without protest.

I wanted to argue back… but everything they said made too much sense, so I couldn’t.

Now I understand why kids want to stay up late.

This bedtime is way too early.

Sigh… Is being short a crime?

Just wait. I’ll grow taller and taller until I’m taller than the commander.

Then I’ll look down on them and call them shorty.

Imagining the tiny commander struggling to hide their frustration and embarrassment… it’s the best.

A smile crept onto my lips.

Just thinking about it made me feel like I had already grown taller.

I am Long-Legged Maru! I will dominate the commander!

“We’re here. Let’s see… My room is… oh, it’s right next to Maru’s!”

Huh?

Snapped out of my daydream, I turned to look at Nunu in shock.

“…Really?”

It was true.

A nameplate with Nunu’s name was now attached to the door next to mine, even though it was empty before.

Looks like the headquarters updates room assignments whenever new characters join.

Not sure how that works. Maybe some staff I don’t know about comes by and sticks the names on?

“It’s a shame we’re not in the same room… I wanted to sleep together.”

“…Ugh. That sounds kinda dangerous.”

“Sleeping together… while endlessly poking Maru’s warm, squishy cheeks…!”

I suddenly got chills.

Nunu’s eyes seemed to gleam with a terrifying glint for a moment.

“No way.”

“Really…?”

Even with puppy-dog eyes, the answer is still no.

“…Okay, fine.”

As I firmly refused, Nunu smacked their lips in disappointment and opened their room door.

“Good night.”

“Mm, good night, Maru.”

With that, Nunu disappeared into their room.

Alright, then I should…

Wait.

“Nunu, don’t peek through the door crack. Close it properly.”

Slam.

…Only after Nunu was really inside did I finally enter my own room.