I sat down and slowly went through the results of my past experiments.
Looking back now, they were filled with clumsy and absurd hypotheses and experiments.
Among them were findings I had derived through direct experiments, and there were also quite a few abandoned plans.
It was these chaotic studies that ultimately led me to where I am today.
The first experiment.
Back then, I harbored the hope that I might overcome this crisis quickly.
At the time, I tried to overlay other shadows onto the dolls.
It was a simplistic idea—I believed that the more shadows I infused into the dolls, the more power they would wield.
However, as soon as the shadows permeated the dolls, the latter slipped out of my control.
The shadows clashed as they tried to overtake the doll’s essence, grotesquely distorting its form and circuits in the process.
In the end, due to the conflict among the shadows and the doll’s resistance, a massive explosion occurred.
Both the dolls and the shadows were shattered to pieces in that explosion.
After repeating the experiment several times, I realized that viewing shadows merely as tools of power was a flawed approach.
Thus, I decided to explore two new directions regarding shadows.
One was to link a single shadow to a doll, and the other was to integrate all the shadows into one massive entity.
Both attempts failed.
The single-shadow connection attempt failed due to the doll’s extreme rejection.
No matter how many times I tried, the results were the same.
From this, I learned that a single entity could only harbor a single shadow.
Every doll already had a shadow attached to it.
Forcing another shadow onto them resulted in immediate rejection and explosions.
It was an entirely unexpected outcome, one that upended my experimental plans.
All the shadows I had prepared were imbued with strong magical power.
I had gone to great lengths to create these shadows to reduce the doll’s magic consumption, and now I couldn’t even use them.
I tried experimenting several more times out of frustration, but the results did not change.
Eventually, I had to admit that the act of attaching another shadow to a doll was fundamentally wrong.
This meant that the shadow integration approach also had to be redirected.
I abandoned the plan to replace the doll’s shadow and shifted toward weaving multiple shadows around the doll’s existing shadow.
These shadows connected with each other, forming a stable structure and effectively supporting the doll’s central shadow.
Through this interconnected structure, the shadows emitted even greater magical power than before.
I thought to myself, ‘This has to work.’
But when the doll and shadow were connected, the doll’s original shadow became unstable almost instantly.
This created an internal imbalance, and the doll could not withstand the power of the shadows, ultimately collapsing.
I sought the cause by gathering the doll’s fragments.
After extensive investigation and repeating the same experiment multiple times, I finally identified the reason.
The problem lay in my failure to fully understand the intrinsic nature of shadows.
All shadows strive to resemble their host.
Therefore, they always maintain themselves in an incomplete state, a tendency that influenced the connection structure of the shadows and led to their collapse.
***
It took five months to conduct these experiments and analyze the results.
With this as my foundation, I made another attempt—the third experiment.
The bitter memory brought a wry smile to my face.
This time, I tried to create a magical heart for the shadow itself.
Since I couldn’t attach multiple shadows or use external ones, I attempted to endow the doll’s shadow with magical power.
This was quite successful.
However, once I completed the process, the doll and the shadow began rejecting each other.
This was because their respective magical natures had diverged.
Eventually, the shadow lost its magical heart under the doll’s pressure and reverted to an ordinary shadow.
Next, I tried breaking the shadow into very small components and mixing them with magical power.
I predicted that while this would reduce the shadow’s power, it could still serve as a support for the doll.
As expected, the doll functioned with the help of the shadow’s power, reducing its magical consumption.
It seemed like a complete success.
But the issue arose when the doll’s magic circle began to activate.
When the shadow interacted with the numerous spells embedded within the doll, those spells displayed intense resistance.
As a result, the circuits were disrupted, and the shadow separated from the magical power, causing the doll itself to explode.
When I shared this story with Myra, she laughed, calling it an intriguing dilemma.
***
Now, I stood on the brink of the next experiment.
Following Mayra’s advice, I had observed and experienced much in the Shadow Realm.
The insights I gained from it were invaluable.
I reviewed the results of my past research with confidence.
I was no longer the same person I had been.
This experiment was destined to succeed.
I was certain.
And yet, it failed.
The explosion was massive.
If I hadn’t activated protective barriers when I sensed the foreboding signs, I might have been obliterated as well.
“This time… what went wrong again?” I muttered, sighing as I dismantled the layers of protective magic.
Approaching the site where the doll had been, I touched the remnants of the explosion.
Even the shadow had been consumed by the blast, leaving no trace.
I had thought this experiment had gone quite smoothly compared to the others.
In earlier experiments, I concluded that the autonomy of the shadow was a destabilizing factor in its integration with the doll.
Therefore, this time, I attempted to suppress that autonomy as much as possible.
This direction was inspired by observing how shadows in the Shadow Realm dissolved into magical power.
Just as dead shadows lost their will and merged into a vast flow of magic, I sought to dissolve the doll’s shadow and suppress its autonomy to the maximum extent.
This approach was quite similar to a previous experiment where I had glimpsed potential.
At the time, the shadow blended well with the magical power.
Had it not been for the rejection by the doll’s magic, I was certain I could have achieved substantial results.
Hence, I harvested the doll’s shadow and turned it into a sort of liquid magic.
I then infused this into the doll.
This time, I created a separate pathway to prevent direct friction with the doll’s circuits.
The shadow would function like blood flowing within the doll’s interior.
But it failed.
The shadow I had liquefied and stripped of its essence regained its autonomy the moment it connected with the doll.
The shadow deviated from the path I had created, seeking contact with the doll’s magic.
This triggered magical rejection, resulting in yet another explosion.
‘Why did this keep happening?’ No matter how many times I experimented under different conditions, the results were the same.
Another sigh escaped me.
In these repeated experiments, I realized something profound: the autonomy of the shadow was, in fact, its dependency on its master.
Every shadow, once connected to its source, rejected everything else—even my magic.
The ‘dead shadows’ I saw in that world were objects that could not exist in reality.
A shadow without a master simply couldn’t exist in this world.
The reason it was possible in that realm was that it was a subspace created by Professor Heisen.
Its laws and nature differed from reality, making such a miracle feasible.
I could feel my confidence rapidly fading.
I had believed this would be a guaranteed success.
Slowly, I unrolled the scroll and began recording the results of this experiment.
More than ten silver blossoms were used just to liquefy the shadow.
Altogether, over five hundred rare materials had gone into this experiment.
When counting the other components, even more precious resources had been consumed.
‘Why is it that no matter how much I earn, it’s never enough?’ I thought, rubbing my face in frustration.
There was no time to rest.
Slapping my cheeks, I forced myself to refocus.
I needed to prepare for the next experiment quickly.
***
For the past month, I had worked tirelessly to make today possible.
I couldn’t afford to waste this precious time I had painstakingly carved out.
My shadow, which had been standing by, quickly brought over the next doll.
It was roughly the size of my upper torso.
Dolls of the exact same design lined one wall of my workshop.
I placed the doll onto a magical array layered with numerous protective spells.
This array existed for one sole purpose: to perfectly block any external interference.
The doll had no visible shadow because I had already extracted and stored it separately.
My shadow handed me a glass jar labeled 25.
Inside the jar, a mist-like substance swirled faintly.
This was the doll’s shadow.
As I stroked the jar, a bitter smile crossed my face.
At least this experiment had yielded some insights.
Shadows always connected to their masters.
Therefore, I decided to abandon my previous plans to suppress their autonomy.
‘I’ll have to approach this from a different direction,’ I thought.
I had already considered an alternative plan.
Glancing at my shadow, which was moving as if to assist me with the array, I solidified my new approach.
To proceed, I first needed to reduce the shadow’s resistance to my magical power.
Every explosion thus far had stemmed from the clash between the shadow and my magic.
Unless this issue was resolved, I couldn’t move forward.
I began delicately infusing magical energy into the glass jar.
The magic flowed from my core at a controlled density, filling the jar.
It seeped into the faint patterns within the shadow.
Carefully observing how the shadow reacted to the magic, I gradually added more energy.
The magic began to overflow inside the jar, but I directed it entirely into the shadow.
As the magic filled the shadow’s interior, it started forming a specific flow, and natural circuits began to etch themselves within the shadow.
The circuits resembled an upside-down tree.
The concentrated magic intertwined with the shadow, exuding an independent vitality.
These circuits were nearly identical to the ones my shadow had formed when it first gained self-awareness.
“Phew… success.” Letting out a deep breath, I relaxed my tense body.
While I had theorized this outcome, it was the first time I had successfully executed it.
This was the culmination of countless refinements across numerous experiments.
Thankfully, the shadow maintained a stable form.
I removed the jar’s lid and carefully placed it at the doll’s feet.
The shadow, momentarily disoriented, quickly sensed its master and flowed to the doll’s base.
I swallowed hard.
The critical phase was about to begin.
I cautiously injected magic into the doll.
Its magical core started to beat vigorously, spreading energy throughout its body.
Gently, I controlled the doll.
One step.
Two steps.
Three steps.
Even after multiple movements, there were no abnormalities.
The magic flowed seamlessly through the doll’s circuits, and the shadow exhibited no issues.
“Did it work?” A smile began to form on my face.
Still, I couldn’t let my guard down just yet.
The reason I wanted to integrate the shadow with the doll was to allow the shadow to manage the doll’s energy consumption.
I carefully directed the doll’s magic toward the shadow.
In response, the shadow began to react.
It absorbed the magic, extending its roots throughout the doll’s structure.
After confirming that the connection had stabilized, I tried moving the doll again.
It worked.
The doll operated without depleting its internal magic.
Instead, the shadow powered its movements using its own energy.
What I had dreamed of was finally happening!
And then the doll exploded.
The magic suddenly reversed its flow, surging back through the connection and even impacting me.
I coughed up blood as my core took a minor shock.
“What… just happened?” I muttered, staggering in disbelief.
‘It had worked—why had it failed?’
I placed another doll and meticulously repeated the process from the beginning.
The doll exploded again, shattering into pieces.
‘Is it the magic?’ I wondered, trying to adjust the amount of energy.
I also experimented with tweaking the doll’s magical systems.
When that didn’t work, I built an entirely new doll and started over.
The results remained the same.
The shadow erupted violently and destroyed the doll.
After observing countless reactions, I finally realized the truth.
The magical core formed within the shadow could not sustain itself and eventually collapsed.
This was due to the shadow’s inherent instability as a formless entity.
I looked at my shadow.
“Then why was this one able to maintain its circuits?” I pondered, determined to figure out the difference.
***
After destroying the thirtieth doll, I finally began to grasp the concept.
My shadow, too, must have possessed this instability in its early stages—and likely still did.
However, it had one defining trait: self-awareness.
This gave it a foundational anchor to sustain its magical core.
Centered around its self-awareness, my shadow absorbed my magic and gradually developed its own form.
Thus, it became an entity that resembled me but was distinct from me.
Ordinary shadows, devoid of intellect, could never achieve this.
Exhausted, I coughed up more blood and collapsed into my chair.
At last, I understood the uniqueness of my shadow.
This was why upperclassmen flocked to Professor Heisen’s lectures.
This shadow was different from common shadows.
Born from the professor’s hands, it was an independent being with its own self-awareness.
And yet, it retained the characteristics of a shadow, always linked to its master and growing alongside them.
For magicians who trusted nothing but themselves, acquiring such a familiar was an invaluable opportunity.
‘Yes, this shadow is a precious existence—far beyond anything I could ever create.’
To succeed in this experiment, I needed to form a self-awareness within the doll’s shadow.
‘But how could that be possible?’ If I could do that, I would have already applied it during the doll’s creation.
Once again, the experiment had ended in failure.
Today’s session was over.
Starting tomorrow, I would have to tackle the mountain of work I had postponed.
‘Who knows when I’ll find time for this again?’ With a heavy sigh, I called it a day.