“Eve!“
Ellie grabbed my arm, pulling me into her embrace while putting distance between me and Sua.
“I’ve heard rumors about the Hero being a pedophile, but I didn’t expect it to be this literal…!”
I ended up back in Ellie’s arms, and Sua, looking annoyed, puffed her cheeks in protest.
“Ugh, what’s the deal?! Do you think I’m going to hurt Eve or something?”
“Everything you’re doing is already harmful!” Ellie snapped.
“She’s right!” Harp chimed in.
Now both Harp and Alex had stepped forward protectively, standing between me and Sua.
“Seriously, after all these years, you haven’t changed at all, Sua. You’re still the same,” Alex said with a sigh.
“Aw, thanks, Alex. I’ll take that as a compliment!” Sua replied with a mischievous grin.
“…I told you before, stop calling me Alex. I’m not just some guy. I’m a vibrant young man in my twenties!”
“Twenty-nine is technically still the twenties,” Sua teased, winking.
“Oi.”
Alex let out another exasperated sigh as Sua flashed him a playful smile.
“Well, I guess it’s good we ran into you early. I just didn’t expect you to meet Eve first,” Alex muttered.
“It’s fate, Alex,” Sua said with a smirk.
“Fate, my foot. You probably engineered this whole thing. The fact that clever Eve couldn’t even remember your name is suspicious enough.”
Sua put a finger to her lips, feigning innocence. “Oh, is that what you think? Who knows~?”
Alex groaned in frustration, crossing his arms. “Fine, I’m done talking. So, Miss Pedo Hero, what do you want with Eve?”
At this, Sua paused, seemingly considering her response. Then, out of nowhere, she pointed directly at me and declared, “She’s my wife.”
“WHAT?!”
“What kind of absolute nonsense is that?!” Alex bellowed, his face scrunching up in pure disgust.
He raised his fist threateningly, as if ready to strike.
Even Sua, with all her boldness, flinched at the sight of Alex’s genuine anger.
Her cocky demeanor wavered as she tried to backtrack.
“Uh, well, I was kidding! Just kidding! Don’t take it so seriously!” she said hastily, waving her hands in surrender.
“…A joke? Or wait, a joke? Nuuuuhhhhhh!”
“Stop making weird noises and just get to the point already.”
“Sheesh, you’re no fun. Fine, the reason’s simple. I just… wanted to see the famous Eve for myself.”
“Famous?”
“Of course! You know I have a thing for kids.”
“Yeah, unfortunately, we’re all painfully aware of that.”
Ellie frowned, clearly unimpressed with Sua’s words.
“I mean, I knew about it, but… ugh. Hearing it out loud is just… something else. Can a Hero really say stuff like that when they’re supposed to save the world?”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
“Are you even aware of how messed up you sound?”
“Of course I am! That’s why I’m looking for someone to cure me!”
“And what exactly do you think needs curing?”
“Obviously, the massive, rock-solid—”
“…!”
Everyone froze.
“—sense of justice I’ve had since I got here. Geez, Alex, you’re no fun anymore. You didn’t even flinch!”
Even Sua’s shameless humor couldn’t crack Alex’s stern demeanor.
He just gave her an ice-cold glare, his face etched with frustration.
That glare alone sent shivers down my spine, even though it wasn’t directed at me.
Alex looked angrier than I’d ever seen him before.
“So,” Alex said coolly, biting down his anger, “now that you’ve met her, what do you think of our Eve?”
Sua ignored Alex’s tense expression entirely, her eyes lighting up as she turned to me.
Then, she said something that sent everyone into utter shock.
“I’ve decided. I’m going to become one of Eve’s children!”
“W-what?!”
“WHAT?!”
“Th-that’s completely absurd!” I stammered, utterly baffled.
“Second, don’t touch me without permission.”
“Uh, okay, that’s a little…”
“Third, while you’re at the orphanage, you must act exactly like one of the orphans.”
“Wait a second, Eve, what do you mean by that…?”
“Fourth, no weird behavior or strange remarks.”
“Hey, hold on! That’s my identity! You can’t just take that away from me!”
As I continued listing off conditions one by one, Sua’s previously confident expression gradually shifted to one of growing panic.
But I didn’t stop.
“What’s the matter? Is the great Hero incapable of following a few simple rules?” I said, deliberately goading her.
“Ha! Who do you think you’re talking to…” Sua started, but her words trailed off.
After a brief moment of silence, she hung her head in defeat.
“…Fine. If that’s what it takes to stay by your side, then so be it. I’ll do it.”
“Wow, that was easy,” I replied, barely hiding a smirk.
“Yeah, pretty easy,” Harp chimed in.
“Too easy,” Ellie added.
“Really easy,” Alex said with a shrug.
“Hey! I can hear you all, you know!” Sua protested, visibly pouting.
“Ba-bam ba-bam! Hero Baby Sua has officially joined the party!” Sua declared dramatically.
“Rejected.”
“You’re so mean!”
“I told you—no weird behavior or remarks,” I said, glaring at her.
“Hmph, fine!” Sua huffed.
“For now. The conditions only apply once you enter the orphanage. Until then, it doesn’t count,” I reminded her, crossing my arms.
Sua’s expression shifted to one of mild frustration as she glanced at her tiny form.
“…This baby body, though… seriously, what’s with this?!”
I really wanted to ask about Sua’s bizarre childlike body, but I knew better than to expect a proper answer.
Instead, I decided to let it slide.
“Alright, everyone, now that we’re done here, let’s head back to the inn. We’re returning to the village tomorrow,” Ellie said, still holding me protectively.
Sua’s repeated attempts to “target” me had kept her on high alert.
“Okay,” I replied.
“Aww, already? Do we really have to leave?” Sua whined.
“It’s getting late, so yes,” I said softly, stepping out of Ellie’s arms.
The inn wasn’t far, and relying on Ellie’s protection for such a short distance felt a little too much.
But the moment I freed myself from Ellie’s embrace, Sua darted forward with a mischievous grin and hopped over to stick right by my side.
“Hey, Eve, don’t you think it’s a little boring to just head back to the inn? Let’s chat!” she chirped.
“Um… I guess it’s a little dull, but…”
I hesitated, and Sua immediately latched onto my slight agreement.
“See? That’s what I’m talking about! Everyone, freeze!” she suddenly shouted, clapping her hands.
“What now?” Alex groaned.
Sua dramatically placed a hand over her mouth as if to deliver an earth-shattering revelation.
“We’re seriously just going back? We came all the way to the capital! Shouldn’t we at least check out the market?”
“Come on, what’s so special about the market? We’d be better off resting at the inn,”
Harp interjected, crossing her arms.
Sua smirked, clearly enjoying herself.
“Harp, was it? Hate to break it to you, but your precious teacher already agreed with me.”
“What?!” Harp’s eyes widened.
“Uh… well, I guess visiting the market could be fun,” I said, scratching my head.
“See? Even Eve thinks so!” Sua beamed.
Harp blinked a few times, then quickly turned to me with renewed enthusiasm.
“Market it is, Teacher! Let’s go!” Harp cheered.
Harp seamlessly changed her stance and moved right next to me, causing a small laugh to escape my lips.
Harp, you adapt so quickly. You’re going to thrive in society.
“See? Even Eve agrees,” Sua chimed in.
“Sigh…”
Meanwhile, this so-called Hero… Ugh, she’s technically an adult, but her behavior is just like a kid’s.
Wait, scratch that—now even her body matches.
“Teacher, hold my hand,” Harp said, extending her hand toward me.
“Okay.”
“Hey, that hand’s mine!” Sua interrupted, puffing her cheeks.
“Then take the other hand,” Harp shot back confidently.
“Fine. Eve, give me your other hand!” Sua demanded.
“Uh, sure…”
Suddenly, I found myself being tugged on both sides as Harp and Sua bickered over which direction to go.
“Harp! That’s the wrong way! The market is over here!” Sua insisted.
“No, it’s not! This is the right way, Teacher, isn’t it?” Harp retorted.
“Uh… wha—?”
And so, I was dragged back and forth between the two of them, caught in their tug-of-war.
From behind, I could hear Ellie sighing deeply.
“What are they even doing…” Ellie muttered, clearly exasperated.
“Poor Eve. She’s got her hands full—literally,” Alex added with a chuckle.
“Couldn’t you step in and help me, instead of just watching?” I called out.
Being pulled in two different directions was starting to hurt.
“Ouch! Seriously, it’s starting to really hurt!”
“Hey, let go! No, you let go!”
And just like that, my poor arms were stretched to their limits as I was dragged around like a ragdoll.