“Uh…?”
“Wow, huh? Oh wow, oh wow?”
“Wow, Siyeon, congratulations.”
When I appeared as the last female nominee for Best Actress, the cast of The Heirs was all surprised.
Everyone, including myself, looked as if they hadn’t expected this.
Of course, it’s not surprising. It doesn’t make sense for an actor who received a rookie award to be nominated for Best Actress.
- Actress Kim Siyeon received praise for showing the acting skills of a seasoned veteran, despite being in her first project. Even as the antagonist, she provided high immersion, dominated the drama, and changed viewers’ opinions solely through her acting, almost overtaking the lead role.
My foolish face appeared on screen along with the narration.
Seeing my face on the screen, I quickly tried to control my expression.
This was such an absurd situation that even I lost my expression.
Looking back, writer Kang Eung-sook and director Kang Shin-yul were nodding.
“Is this… okay, Director?”
Lee Minwoo asked Kang Shin-yul.
It was perhaps a concerned remark about me.
For a rookie actor to be nominated for Best Actress could be controversial, regardless of talent.
It could negatively impact the network and the drama’s or my image.
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Why, Siyeon…?”
“If Siyeon isn’t nominated, should it have been Siha?”
Writer Kang Eung-sook interrupted Lee Minwoo’s words.
She, who had been expressionless until now, seemed to be in a good mood.
“Or should it have been Yuna? Should it have been Sujin? Is there anyone who acted better than Siyeon this time?”
At those words, everyone went silent.
No, it wasn’t just our The Heirs team that went silent; the entire award ceremony hall became quiet.
This was because, at that moment, the MC who came to interview me, the nominee, caught Kang Eung-sook’s voice on the mic.
Upon hearing that, everyone in the hall went quiet.
They were probably all thinking the same thing.
“Kim Siyeon, actress. You’ve been nominated for Best Actress after winning the Rookie Award. If you win here, you will make history as the first to win both Rookie and Best Actress awards, and even a four-time winner. How do you feel?”
The slightly flustered MC regained composure and handed me the microphone.
I appeared on the screen.
I forced a smile and brought the mic to my mouth.
The words of a 14-year-old rookie actor were already decided.
“Uh… Actually, I didn’t expect to be nominated for Best Actress. I think everyone, not just me, would feel the same. There are so many incredible seniors, so I thought it would be difficult for me to win. But it’s truly an honor to be able to stand alongside such great seniors, even if only for a short while.”
“Yes. Kim Siyeon’s humble answer. As she said, just being nominated is a historical achievement. Of course, when considering Kim Siyeon’s acting in The Heirs, I don’t think it’s impossible.”
The MC moved on to the next interview.
The people around me remained silent, lost in thought.
In the meantime, I maintained my composure.
Though I was slightly flustered, my mental strength wasn’t shaken by this.
And as Kang Eung-sook had said, judging by my acting ability alone, it wasn’t strange for me to be nominated for Best Actress.
Objectively, no one could surpass me, who had crossed the line between good and evil.
If we were only judging by skill, I should have won the grand prize.
But I was still a rookie who had just filmed my first project.
And I had just received the Best Newcomer Award and the Teen Actor Award.
It was truly an ironic situation to receive both the Rookie and Best Actress awards together.
“Now, I will announce the winner. The Best Actress Award in the Mid-Length Drama Category.”
The presenter took the stage and announced the winner.
The faces of the three nominees appeared on the screen.
Seo Ae-kyo was smiling leisurely. She wasn’t nervous, as expected from her long career.
Ko Yoo-jung was also smiling faintly, but somehow seemed to be expecting something.
I was staring blankly at the stage.
I didn’t have any emotion to show.
“The winner of the SAS Acting Award, Best Actress in a Mid-Length Drama is…”
The presenter slowly opened the envelope and checked the winner’s name.
After confirming the name, he made a surprised expression.
As the presenter hesitated, the audience couldn’t hold back their gasps.
“I will announce it now. SAS Acting Award. Best Actress in a Mid-Length Drama.”
The sound of drums echoed.
The award hall was filled with tension.
“The winner is… The Heirs’ Kim Siyeon. Congratulations.”
Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap-
The applause erupted late.
I sat there for a moment, dazed.
“Siyeon, congratulations.”
The first to stand up was Kang Eung-sook.
Following her, the others who had been in a daze quickly stood up and began to congratulate me.
“Si… Siyeon, really, congratulations.”
“This is really… wow… congratulations, Siyeon! Amazing.”
“Congratulations!”
As I received congratulations from my colleagues, I walked back onto the stage once again.
I was trying to manage my expression, but I was still filled with doubt.
…Did I really win Best Actress? Did I defeat those people?
It’s obvious that my acting is better, but…
To win both Rookie and Best Actress awards? Does that even make sense?
I wondered if they would announce a mistake during the announcement, but nothing like that happened.
I safely walked up, accepting the bouquet and the trophy.
The MC was still narrating about my award, as if there was more to say.
- Actress Kim Siyeon, despite being in her first project, received instant recognition for her perfect acting and unique cold charm. In just her first work, she became an undeniable rising star and, of course, was nominated for Best Actress, proving her talent confidently…
It seemed that the broadcast network had struggled with various thoughts during the process of selecting the winner for Best Actress.
I greeted the presenter and slowly stood before the microphone.
It didn’t make sense, but I had received it, so I had to say my acceptance speech and step down without any trouble.
Just as I was about to speak…
- “Siyeon, I love you!”
A shout came from somewhere.
In one corner of the audience, my fan club ‘Siyeonhada’ had gathered.
Although they were far away, one person was shouting at the top of their lungs.
“Siyeon, I love you. You did well. You’re amazing.”
Following that one person, the fan club began shouting toward me.
…Once again, tears began to well up in my eyes.
The confusion I had felt earlier disappeared, and an indescribable feeling began to rise within me.
They love me. They think I’m amazing.
I had never heard such words before.
Never once in all the missions I’ve carried out, no matter how great the achievements, had I ever heard words like that.
I had simply shown some acting.
A rookie receiving an absurd award like Best Actress, and so many people sending their love toward me.
What was the reason for this?
What did this shining space mean?
I couldn’t understand it.
I was just an assassin who killed people in the dark, damp corners.
I had trained my acting to kill people, too.
“…First of all, thank you for such an undeserved award. I don’t know if I deserve it.”
In my acceptance speech, I had to be as humble as possible.
After all, this situation was completely unreasonable.
If a rookie really did win Best Actress, that rookie would surely be more confused than touched.
Acting, after all, is life reflected.
Unlike veteran actors, a rookie doesn’t have much life experience to look back on in a moment like this.
That’s why I should also act bewildered, but…
I couldn’t do it well.
I’m an assassin and spy with the acting ability to fool anyone.
But for some reason, being cheered under this bright light made me feel like the painful past was passing before my eyes, like a film.
…Painful? I’m thinking it was painful?
Why am I thinking this now?
I had always thought that my life as an assassin was just a mission. No pain, no happiness, no suffering—none of it.
No, that was just the mindset I had to have as an assassin, and I certainly didn’t feel anything at the time.
But why now, at this moment, am I looking back and thinking it was painful?
Was it painful back then?
And now, as Kim Siyeon, as an actress, receiving undeserved love and an award, I don’t understand what emotion I’m supposed to feel.
No, what emotion am I feeling?
What emotion am I feeling, that swallowing back my tears is so difficult?
Drip-
In the end, I couldn’t hold it back, and a single tear fell.
The tear I couldn’t hold back was just that one drop.
I endured the lump in my throat and somehow continued my acceptance speech.
The words were probably very cliché.
Even then, considering my image, it might have been something an assassin or an actress would do.
But despite all the clichés, there was something I remember from those words.
“…The light on this stage is blinding.”
The single tear that fell wasn’t caught by the camera.