What makes a good weapon?
A good weapon needs to have a long reach.
It should be lightweight.
If it’s a sword, it must be sharp, and if it’s a spear, it must be pointed.
When evaluated from various perspectives,
a “hwangtae” (dried pollock) seemed like a decent weapon.
Thwack!
“Ughhh!!”
The dried pollock swung by Park Seokji struck like a flash of lightning.
The sharp fin section slammed into Kim Shinbae’s head.
“You little punk! While abandoning your duties, where were you hiding and chatting nonsense? And now you have the nerve to bring up a ministerial appointment? You young brat, there’s a limit to being disrespectful!”
“Ahh! Please stop! And who are you calling a ‘young brat’? I’m almost 50!”
“I’m almost 70, you punk! And you’re the one leaking to the press anonymously, aren’t you? I knew it ever since you suggested unification! You traitor!”
“It’s not true! I’m being falsely accused!”
Kim Shinbae protested, but Park Seokji, already enraged, refused to listen.
Though he was an old man, he was a large and vigorous one.
Kim Shinbae, being slender, had no chance against him.
Thwack! Thwack!
“Ugh! Stop hitting me! I’ll smell like fish!”
“Rottenness reeks from you, so what’s a little fish smell compared to that?!”
“Come on! Someone, stop him…!”
In response to Kim Shinbae’s plea, party members intervened to “stop” Park Seokji. Or so it seemed.
“Assemblyman Park, please stop.”
“Let’s resolve this verbally.”
“No matter what, hitting someone like this isn’t right.”
“Are you going to destroy him completely with that hwangtae? What a waste of good fish…”
However, that was all they said.
No one actively restrained Park Seok-ji or defended Kim Shinbae.
—
Honestly, it’s a bit satisfying.
Kim Shinbae.
An assemblyman from the Ginkgo Party who joined our party.
Even merging with the Ginkgo Party hadn’t been smooth.
Our party’s excessively long name was a ridiculous outcome of Kim Shin-bae’s stubbornness.
Anyway.
Beating someone with dried pollock wasn’t going to mend divisions, so it was time to step in.
Just as I was thinking this, Han Seoyoung took the initiative to meditate.
“This is not the time for us to fight among ourselves.”
“Manager Han, you heard him! Did you hear what nonsense he spouted after finally showing up after days?!”
“He was simply suggesting that we prepare in advance since our candidate now has a chance of winning. What’s so wrong about that?!”
“This guy still doesn’t get it, does he?”
“Enough! The candidate is watching this as well! Assemblyman Park, put down the hwangtae! Assemblyman Kim, stop saying things that cause divisions and focus on the issues at hand!”
“Tch.”
“….”
Han Seoyoung successfully defused the situation.
At first, she struggled to control people much older than herself,
but after handling a few incidents, her skill had become impressive.
Perhaps it was also due to a change in her status.
Since my TS (gender transformation), Han Seoyoung has been covering the role of party leader.
Though there had been precarious moments, things were running relatively smoothly,
so no one could dismiss Han Seoyoung due to her youth anymore.
“Let’s head back to the office for now. We need to wrap up the memorial and have our strategy meeting.”
The party members headed back to the office.
I followed Han Seoyoung but decided to help clean up the memorial table.
“Secretary Ping…”
“Yes?”
“I… I want to try that…”
I pointed at the yakgwa (traditional Korean honey cookie).
“Hehe, that’s yakgwa. You can eat it.”
“Thank you~!”
Delighted, I quickly picked one up and ate it.
Nom nom.
The small bite of yakgwa tasted incredible, opening my eyes wide in delight.
Overjoyed, I chattered away to Song Yeon, the administrative secretary.
“This is called… yak-gwa!”
“No, not yak-gwa, it’s yakgwa.”
“Yes! Yak-gwa! Yakgwa is sweet!”
Thanks to Kim Shinbae, my mood had soured earlier.
But the sweetness of yakgwa helped heal my heart a little.
—
A certain office in Seoul.
Office worker Oh Suhyuk was typing furiously on his keyboard.
Tap tap tap.
He was so focused that his brow furrowed deeply.
His intense concentration and fervent work pace made everyone avoid disturbing him.
But the truth was rather trivial.
Oh Suhyuk was actually engaged in an online argument.
User1: “A children’s policy? Honestly, it’s lame. The best performer in yesterday’s debate was Yoo Hang-cheol, lol.”
During a peaceful moment in the Kang Jiwoo gallery, where people were enjoying Jiwoo Ping memes,
a random troll appeared, praising Yoo Hangcheol and causing a stir.
I should have just ignored it.
But I couldn’t help myself and fired back right away.
Nongdongnyeong Jiwoo Yoo: What has Yoo Hangcheol even done? Other than trading negative attacks with Jo Seyoung?
OO: That’s just your perspective because you’re a Jiwoo supporter, haha. A clueless candidate telling people to “look up the manifesto on their own” ranked first in the debate? Did your brain just vanish?
‘This bastard.’
Clenching his teeth, Oh Suhyuk started furiously typing a reply.
Nongdongnyeong Jiwoo: Manifestos don’t matter. They’re meaningless anyway since they never get followed. But Jiwooping’s cuteness? That stays consistent throughout the entire term.
OO: What nonsense is this? They age day by day. By the end of the term, puberty will hit, and they’ll drive all the public Pings mad! Mark my words, haha.
Nongdongnyeong Jiwoo: TS Syndrome doesn’t cause physical changes, you idiot~ Nwooooooong, hahaha.
OO: It’s not that they don’t change; it’s that they might not. Also, living your whole life with that intelligence? That’s the real tragedy, haha.
Nongdongnyeong Jiwoo: Sure~ But Jiwooping still crushed Yoo Hangcheol even with their childlike smarts~
OO: Meanwhile, Yoo Hangcheol is probably laughing in his office right now. Jiwoo’s approval rating will tank soon enough, and they’ll come crawling for consolidation. ^^
The sheer mental gymnastics from the Yoo Hangcheol supporter made Oh Suhyuk snort involuntarily.
Nongdongnyeong Jiwoo: What nonsense are you spouting? Yoo Hangcheol is totally furious right now, hahaha.
OO: How would you know? Are you one of Yoo Hangcheol’s inner circle or something? Haha.
At that moment, a voice interrupted.
“Oh, Secretary Oh. Did you give the compiled materials to the president?”
“Oh, I just finished them!”
‘I was so distracted by Jiwooping’s cuteness that I forgot.’
Oh Suhyuk grabbed the documents and headed to the president’s office.
Knock, knock.
“President Yoo, it’s Oh Suhyuk.”
“Come in.”
As he entered, Yoo Hangcheol was glaring at his monitor as if trying to burn a hole through it.
“I’ve brought the materials you requested.”
“Leave them there.”
“Yes, sir.”
Yesterday’s debate clearly hadn’t gone as Yoo Hangcheol had hoped. His mood was obviously foul.
As Oh Suhyuk tried to tiptoe out of the office, Yoo Hangcheol stopped him.
“Hey, Suhyuk.”
“Yes?”
“…Have you quit yet? Smoking.”
“Haha… Not yet, sir.”
“Quit while you’re young. Don’t regret it later.”
With that, Yoo Hangcheol held up two fingers.
“Give me one.”
“Uh… Didn’t you quit completely, sir?”
“Listen, quitting smoking is a lifelong struggle.”
Oh Suhyeok handed over a cigarette and even lit it for him.
“Well, I’ll be heading out now.”
“Alright.”
Click.
The office fell into silence once more.
Sssssss.
Yoo Hangcheol inhaled deeply, letting the nicotine hit him hard after such a long time.
The dizziness was almost nostalgic.
He opened the window and flicked the ash onto the office floor carelessly.
The weather was bright and sunny—a day that would normally lift his spirits.
But not today.
His mind was too tangled to care about something as trivial as the weather.
‘I shouldn’t have lost that debate.’
The memory of last night’s presidential debate lingered relentlessly.
‘I didn’t expect them to come prepared with such a strategy. I underestimated Jiwoo’s team.’
He thought carefully, recalling their faces.
Park Seokji. Kim Shinbae.
They were veterans, no doubt.
‘But they’re old dogs. They wouldn’t have come up with something like that.’
He dismissed their faces from his mind.
Next came Han Seoyoung.
‘She’s rumored to be competent, but she’s just a rookie.’
It wasn’t Han Seoyoung either. She lacked creativity.
And then, one face popped into his mind.
The shabby, slouched woman who had stood next to Han Seoyoung.
Yoo Hangcheol remembered her name.
‘Bong Soohee. This must be her handiwork.’
He exhaled a long plume of smoke and immediately picked up the phone.
“President Geum, it’s Yoo. Can you look into someone for me?”
The gears of Yoo Hangcheol’s network began to turn.
“Her name’s Bong Soohee. Used to work in commercial advertising… Yeah, no, not just surface-level details.”
He took another deep drag, holding the smoke for a moment before releasing it slowly.
Toothpaste.
The cigarette burned down to the filter.
Exhaling the hot smoke through my nose and mouth, I stubbed the cigarette out in a glass.
“Dig up everything, from the household to the people around them. Until you find something—anything. You know what I mean, right?”
Black ashes floated to the surface of the water alongside the soaked cigarette butt.
The once-clear water slowly turned a murky yellow.
“Let’s start by assessing the current situation.”
The strategy meeting, led by Han Seoyoung, began.
“There’s about a 10% point difference with the leading candidate and around 4% with the second-place candidate. These figures haven’t fully reflected the effects of the debate yet.”
“We might surpass Representative Yoo by the end of this week.”
“That’s right. It’s no longer wishful thinking. The data clearly supports it.”
The surge in approval ratings was remarkable.
The wordplay challenge and the stone wall challenge were still trending on social media.
Articles covering my debate performance had just begun flooding in.
“We can expect further momentum from social media and online communities. We’ve already seen its impact once before.”
Previously, Jiwooping’s Grand Adventure had stirred up quite a storm.
Its ripple effect was undeniable.
This time, my stellar performance in the debate would spread widely.
“Making Cho Seyoung cry was incredible. What other candidate could move their opponent to tears of admiration?”
Surpassing Yoo Hangcheol seemed inevitable.
There was no disagreement about it being just a matter of time.
“We need to maintain this momentum.”
“It might be time to make an appearance on major YouTube channels…”
“Challenges would also be a good idea. Our candidate excels in that area.”
“Still, we can’t neglect street campaigns.”
Election campaigns ultimately boil down to a few key activities:
Street campaigns.
Community visits.
Appearances on news and TV programs.
YouTube appearances.
Social media promotion.
In the past, the problem was not having enough to do.
Now, the problem was having too much.
Can’t we just do everything?
Not when time is so limited.
‘The outcome will depend on the choices we make going forward.’
The presidential campaign period is less than a month.
Ultimately, the strategy had to focus on quality.
“I’m not sure which choice would be best.”
“Rather than hesitating like this…”
“It’d be more efficient to pick one and push forward decisively.”
At that moment, a scream came from outside the office.
“What’s that?”
“Did something happen?”
Everyone turned their heads toward the door.
Fortunately, it wasn’t an accident.
It was Administrative Secretary Song Yeon, who had let out a scream of joy.
Song Yeon came rushing in with a clatter and shouted,
“A TV variety show just called with an invitation!”
“A TV variety show?”
Even presidential candidates appear on variety shows these days.
While TV may seem outdated, a significant portion of middle-aged and older viewers still watch it.
Popular shows are also consumed by younger audiences through social media.
Depending on the program, it could be an excellent opportunity for exposure.
And the invitation we received fit the bill perfectly.
“It’s a Young Quiz!”
A popular talk entertainment show.