Chapter 33: Zombie Horde

“Ta-da! Kids! Ellie’s here!”

The orphanage door swung open as a cheerful voice echoed throughout the building.

Sure enough, it was our eternal friend, Ellie!

“Ellie!”

“Hello!”

We all shouted excitedly and ran to her.

Ellie beamed, happily opening her arms wide to welcome us.

“My squishy little ones, did you all sleep well last night? …Oh my, Alex, that head of yours… pfft, what is that?”

Ellie’s gaze naturally landed on Alex’s head.

A giant bump was prominently perched on top, gleaming as if to flaunt its presence.

“…What?”

Alex frowned in annoyance, attempting to cover his head with his hand.

The sight was oddly reminiscent of a squished potato, and I couldn’t help but let out a stifled laugh.

“Hehehe, how does a bump fit you so perfectly? Oh, wait. Did you do it on purpose? To impress a hero?”

“No, I didn’t!”

Alex snapped, raising his voice, but Ellie was too busy suppressing her laughter to take him seriously.

“Pfft, I’m just joking. What happened to you, anyway?”

“I just… bumped into the kids, that’s all.”

“Ahaha, haha—hah!”

“Don’t laugh.”

As usual, the two of them were as close as ever.

“Anyway, the wagon’s all set. We’re ready to leave whenever you are.”

“But… who’s going to drive?”

“…What?”

“Huh?”

At Alex’s comment, the room suddenly fell silent.

For some reason, the two adults exchanged awkward glances, their expressions growing more peculiar by the second.

There’s no way… They can’t seriously not know how to drive a wagon, right?

“Obviously, it’s you, Alex,” Ellie declared matter-of-factly.

“Me?”

“Yeah.”

“Me?”

“You.”

“Me… what?”

“…That’s harassment, Alex. Wait, do you even have a wagon license?”

“Uh, no, I don’t.”

Ellie stared at Alex with a baffled expression.

“What? How do you not have one? What have you been doing all this time?”

“I mean, I’ve never needed to drive a wagon. And besides, getting a license is such a hassle.”

“Then who’s been driving wagons for you until now?”

“The hero.”

“…”

Ellie’s expression darkened, as though she was dealing with an overgrown child who just couldn’t get it together.

“Haah… I guess I’ll have to drive the wagon, then.”

“Wait, Ellie, didn’t you say you couldn’t come because of… uh, those bad guys causing trouble?”

“Oh, that? I dumped all that on my younger sibling, so it’s fine.”

“Ellie, didn’t you say your sibling’s been working overtime every single day lately? Are you sure that’s okay?”

“Eh, they’re always busy. Adding one more thing to their plate won’t make a difference.”

“That’s so heartless.”

“If they don’t like it, they should’ve been born first.”

Wait a second.

Does that mean Ellie is coming with us to the capital?

“Ellie, do you have a wagon license?”

“Of course I do. It’d be weird if I didn’t. Every adult has one.”

“…Why are you looking at me?”

“Right? With how he acts, Alex is just a big kid, isn’t he? Our precious golden child.”

“…”

“Seriously, though. Why didn’t you get one?”

“…Well, I was busy protecting the world from the Demon King—”

“Excuses denied.”

“Fine. Truth is, I didn’t get it because it was too much trouble.”

“Figured.”

So, a wagon license must be like a driver’s license.

The kind of thing every adult is expected to have.

Ah, speaking of driver’s licenses, that reminds me of something.

My friends used to say, ‘A real man gets a Class 1 license.’

And I totally agree. If it’s not Class 1, you’re not a man.

Of course, I got a Class 2 license.

…Why?

You can do everything you need with a Class 2 license, okay?

It’s not that I couldn’t get a Class 1—I could have if I wanted to.

So, yes, I am still a manly man.

“Tsk, if only I had gotten a license, I could’ve had all the snacks to myself…”

“Wow, Alex. That was actually kind of heroic just now.”

“How could you say something so cruel!”

“Oh, so you know when you’re being insulted?”

“Of course I do! What do you take me for, an idiot?”

“…You seem like one, though.”

“Harp! I heard that!”

“I didn’t say anything. Right, Teacher?”

“Mm-hmm, Harp didn’t say a word.”

“This can’t be… Does no one take my side?”

Alex collapsed dramatically to the floor, assuming an OTL posture of pure defeat.

Harp quietly approached him and gave his belly a little poke.

“I’m on your side, Mister.”

“Really?! Who is it?”

“Here, this rock.”

Ta-daa!

With a lifeless sound effect made with her mouth, Harp held up a small pebble.

“Rocks can’t talk, you know,” Alex muttered.

“Really?”

Somehow, this conversation felt familiar.

Déjà vu, maybe?

“Alright, everyone, start loading up the wagon! We’ve got a long journey ahead.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

I was still tilting my head, puzzled by the strange sense of familiarity, when Ellie’s sharp voice brought me back to reality.

Packing, huh.

Well, I already knew what I wanted to bring.

“Alright… my bed—”

“Eve?”

“Yes?”

“A bed isn’t luggage.”

“Wh-why not?!”

“Because it’s too big! It won’t fit in the wagon!”

No way.

Does this mean I can’t bring my dear friend, Mr. Bed?

“But… Mr. Bed—”

“Teacher, it’s okay. While we’re away, Mr. Bed can stay behind and guard the orphanage in case of burglars.”

“Y-yeah, I guess so…”

There was no choice.

If Mr. Bed couldn’t come, I’d just have to move to Plan B.

“Eve…”

“Yes?”

“Blankets aren’t luggage either.”

“…What?”

Why?!

“Whew… finally, everything’s loaded. Eve, you sure have a lot of stuff.”

“This is me cutting back!”

“Eve, for the last time, Mr. Bed is not coming.”

“…Fine.”

“And looking at me with those sad puppy eyes isn’t going to change that.”

“Even if Harp gives you that look?”

“Nope. Not even if Harp does it. Look, I’d love to bring the bed, too, but the wagon’s too small. If we overpack, it might tip over—it’s just not safe!”

“Ellie, is there really no way…?”

“Sorry, no matter how much you insist, the bed is a bit too…”

“Such a shame…”

I’d heard the saying, ‘Sacrifice the small for the greater good,’ but I never thought the moment to make that choice would come so soon.

“Goodbye, Mr. Bed…”

My precious bed, full of my scent…

“Did you just say something weird?”

“Huh? No, not at all!”

“Oh! Look over there! Baldy Alex is trying to steal my ABC soup!”

“What? Are you saying I can’t even have some soup now?”

“There’s not much left! I was going to share it with Ellie later!”

“Ellie, Ellie—ugh, fine, I’ll just eat it all myself!”

“Ah, no!”

I lunged to grab his hand, but it was already too late.

When I looked down at the soup pot, it was completely empty.

Alex had devoured it, leaving only traces of vegetable bits stuck to the corners of his mouth—proof of a clean finish.

“Oh no.”

“Delicious. Truly, the taste of heaven.”

“You selfish glutton! I told you to save some for Ellie, and you just scarf it all down?!”

“It’s fine. Ellie’s driving, so she won’t know.”

“…What do you mean, she won’t know?”

“Uh, well, you know, nothing important. Haha…”

“Alex, let’s talk after we stop.”

“…Oh, uh, sorry. My bad.”

“Apologies won’t cut it.”

…Huh?

A chill ran down my spine.

Even though she was up front driving the wagon, I could feel Ellie’s burning fury radiating all the way to the back seat.

Her ominous aura crackled through the air, as if promising divine retribution.

“Oh… oh wow…”

“Ellie might be scarier than I thought,” Harp whispered.

“Agreed.”

Whatever happens, I should make a mental note to avoid angering Ellie in the future.

“…Uh, Mister Alex?”

“W-what is it?”

“I just have a little question…”

As I watched Alex nervously glance at Ellie while fidgeting awkwardly, a random thought popped into my mind.

“Didn’t you tell us to come down to the village to catch the wagon last time?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Then why did you bring the wagon all the way to the orphanage this time? The road’s rough, so it must’ve been hard to get here. Did something change?”

“Ah, well, you see—”

“There they are! That’s the wagon with Eve and Harp!”

“Oh no, they’ve already spotted us! Ellie, full speed ahead!”

“Darn it, those geezers are too sharp for their own good!”

“Huh?!”

Just as Alex was about to explain, a booming voice roared from behind us.

The ground trembled as a cacophony of shouts and commotion filled the air, reminiscent of the chaos during morning roll call.

“W-what’s going on?!”

“Eve! Don’t stick your head out the window!”

“Why not? What’s— HIIII?!”

Unable to resist my curiosity, I peeked out the window.

A massive horde of zombies was right in front of us.

“EVEEEEEEEEE!!”

“There they are! Catch them!”

“Charge!”

“Where do you think you’re going, Eve?! Don’t leave us!”

Even though the wagon was racing forward at an incredible speed, countless people were chasing after it.

Their speed wasn’t enough to match the wagon.

Yet somehow, by shoving and pushing each other, they managed to close the gap.

It didn’t make any sense.

It was a completely absurd sight.

And yet, the villagers’ sheer determination made it possible.

Unbelievable.