Birthday, a birthday….
It’s called the day to celebrate the day you were born, but no matter how much I thought about it, it didn’t quite resonate with me.
“Somehow, it feels like a line from a protagonist saying ‘Ah, this is what a birthday is.’ Like something from another world.”
If I say it like this, I might sound like one of those people from another world who doesn’t have the concept of ‘birthday’. But still, I knew that when my birthday came, I would be congratulated by someone.
That, well… what should I call it?
Isn’t there a scene that’s often depicted in dramas or comics?
A typical birthday party scene.
The person sitting at the center of the table is the main character of the day, surrounded by heroines and extras, all celebrating while wearing party hats (though I don’t know why they wear them) and gathering around the cake… Or maybe, does that sound too cringy?
‘It’s just how it’s depicted in webtoons, anime, and dramas.’
Anyway, I had a vague idea of what it looked like.
Like how a person who’s never driven a car still knows what a car chase in a movie looks like.
What I wanted to say was,
Despite all the media depictions, when it comes to actually experiencing it myself… Honestly, I didn’t know.
‘…You should’ve actually experienced it to know.’
My birthday. One, one, two, two.
November 22nd, the day the doctor said was easy to remember.
But in the life of Go Hun, birthdays didn’t hold much meaning.
During my childhood, spent playing in PC rooms and getting an early education in secondhand smoke, the best happiness I had was a chicken my uncle brought home. Even in my teenage years, when I was spending money on art academy fees, that was still a rare treat. And after I unexpectedly ended up alone as an adult, no one ever congratulated me. Of course, I never told anyone, so it’s not surprising.
So I didn’t really know what a birthday was supposed to be.
The taste of a birthday cake.
The meaning of candles and party hats.
All of that was a mystery to me.
…
Oh, right.
There was the rice cake the Ministry of Defense gave me.
It was moist and sweet, and it tasted really good.
I wish I could’ve eaten more, but I didn’t get the chance.
‘Ugh, Sergeant Kim, you little bastard… You ate it all, even though you said you’d only take one bite…?
Of course, I never forgot about that until the day he got discharged. And to get my revenge, on his last day, I gave him a little “reward,” pressing down on his 190 cm frame for an hour.
– “You’ve completed the mission, so now it’s time for your reward~☆”
– “Aaaah! What did I do wrong?!”
– “Heh heh, the perpetrator usually forgets.”
– “Sorry! Sorry! Hun-hyung! I’ll pay you back the 20,000 won I secretly took from your wallet!”
– “That was you?!”
Anyway,
As someone who had lived that kind of life,
I felt like birthdays were just some sort of ‘information’. So, I thought it would be a good time to share this ‘information’ with my friend.
But…
‘Was it really such a big deal?’
I saw Mari in front of me, starting to choke up.
As soon as Mari heard what I said, she began to tremble, like a super aunt discovering a person collapsed from a heart attack. Then she called Manager Kang.
“Hello?”
“Uncle!”
“Yes, dear, I’m on my way to the hospital now.”
“Uncle, uncle…!! There’s a big problem…!!”
“What do you mean?!”
“Uncle, I need your help…!!”
“I’ll go with some people right now!! You need to get to a safe place…!!”
Manager Kang, always so gentlemanly, was speaking so loudly that it seemed like his breath was going to give out on the other side of the phone.
I felt dizzy for a moment from that conversation.
‘Wait, does he really need to speak like that?!’
Just as I was wondering whether I should step in and clarify,
Mari, with the dramatic air of an opera actress, shouted.
“Hana… It’s her birthday tomorrow, and she just told me! What should I do? I haven’t prepared a present…!! Please help me!!”
“…..”
“…..”
“Uncle?! I’m so scared I’m going to lose my friend!! Should I rent a restaurant now? Or should I book a suite room?! ”
“…..”
“…..”
Well…
Excuse me,
But what exactly did you experience in America…?
‘She’s not joking, she seems really shocked…’
I was incredibly curious, but
I couldn’t bring myself to ask.
And it seemed like Manager Kang felt the same way.
“…..”
“…..”
Silence.
A long silence lingered.
“…..”
“…..”
I remained silent from the awkwardness,
while Manager Kang stayed silent from his frustration.
Mari eventually calmed down after Manager Kang promised he would try to convince Hana.
*
I bowed my head to Manager Kang, who appeared with a bitter smile.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to make things turn out like this. I didn’t expect Mari to be this surprised…”
“It’s alright. I think the young lady was mentally startled because it’s the first time she’s had a friend… or perhaps, such a situation is rare.”
“…Thank you for understanding.”
“It’s nothing. This kind of fuss is nothing. On the contrary, I’m relieved.”
“Ah, I see…”
‘Did that guy just almost say, “Mari is the first to make a friend”?…’
It was something both of us knew, but being a person who understood principles and ethics, he didn’t say it outright. No matter how funny it seemed, he was someone who had to maintain dignity.
I could empathize with such an adult’s intentions. So, we didn’t discuss it any further.
“…..”
“…..”
We silently agreed with our gazes and then looked at Mari at the same time. After the panic passed, she now seemed to be in a state of sadness.
–Sniff…
Mari had burrowed back under the blanket, lying down gloomily. The way her head barely peeked out from the now-tighter blanket cave looked a bit comical.
‘Did she get so flustered that she went into overdrive, and now she’s feeling down about it? She’s really emotional.’
I felt a little sorry for Mari, but I couldn’t help thinking that if it wasn’t for the arts, she’d probably have a hard time handling her own personality. Her sensitivity was so intense that she’d go into overdrive…
‘But that’s also what makes her suited for her calling.’
Deep in the shadows of the blanket.
In the darkness, I could hear faint sniffing sounds.
–Sniff…
‘The sound of sniffling seems to have subsided. Is she calming down a bit…?’
I confirmed that the tremors of the giant blanket igloo were starting to settle down. Then, I looked into the cave where her flowing hair had slipped out and spoke.
“Mari.”
“…Hmm?”
“I don’t need a suite room or a restaurant reservation.”
“…Then what should I do?”
“Well, I didn’t specifically ask for anything.”
“This is the first time I’ve properly made a friend, so I don’t know.”
Ah.
She just said it herself.
It was something Manager Kang had covered up.
“Well, I’m not really sure either.”
“Why? You’re really good at making friends, right?”
“Huh? Not really?”
“When I went to school, I was always alone. But you, even at the same school, were making friends… But I was like… um… ‘like the morning sun’, just staring at the window on my bed.”
“I see.”
Another random metaphor.
It sounded like she was referring to an Edward Hopper painting.
He was a realist artist who expressed the alienation of modern individuals.
“Honestly… to be honest, I don’t really know how to make friends well either. I just try my best, and somehow it works. Maybe it’s just luck. So in that sense, there’s not much difference between Mari and me.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah, that’s how it is.”
“So what should we do now?”
“There’s nothing special we need to do. Because, honestly, I don’t even know what to do on my birthday.”
“Huh? Why?”
“I’ve never really celebrated my birthday properly since I was a kid…”
I paused for a moment.
‘Ah, wait a minute…’
Right now, I am an 11-year-old kid.
If ‘Go Hana’ who is living her childhood right now says something like this, it would probably make me sound like an unlikable adult. But this is just the memory of ‘Go Hun’, who lived alone until 30, after adolescence.
‘Talking about a time that no longer exists will only cause misunderstandings.’
I had to correct myself a bit.
‘Because I’m an adult who understands ethics and principles…’
“…..”
In situations like this, rather than focusing on potentially misleading facts, it’s enough to approach with genuine feelings.
I looked at Mari, who had hidden under the blanket again, and spoke.
“I wanted to ask you, Mari. What should one do on their birthday to be happy? I’ve always been unsure about it.”
“…..!”
“What would make you happy on your birthday, Mari?”
*
The next evening
Mary’s hospital room quickly turned into a banquet hall filled with packaged food from a department store, not a modest one as expected. Inside the room, I, my uncle, Manager Kang, and Mary were all intently looking at the laptop on the table.
“Ah, it’s reconnected.”
“It disconnects often because it’s overseas…”
On the now-restarted laptop screen, Mary’s father, Han Taejin, was running his hand through his messy hair and speaking. He was hastily having a video call from abroad at his daughter’s request.
– “I… just woke up, and I look like this, but I hope you’ll understand.”
There was something pitiful in his voice.
The two middle-aged men, who had somehow been dragged into the situation, let out bitter smiles.
Manager Kang and Park Tae-o offered words of comfort to the man on the screen.
“We all know that you’re struggling abroad, sir.”
“Really, you’re doing a great job.”
Perhaps due to the comfort from the two middle-aged men, Han Taejin seemed a little relieved as he held a paper cup in his hand.
– “No… it’s my daughter’s request. Even in the middle of my busy schedule, she asked me to wish her friend a happy birthday. So… even though I’m far away, I’ll raise a toast.”
Mary tilted her head and said.
“Dad, you’re the ‘dummy president’ and you don’t even have work to do.”
– “Still saying that…? Sigh, anyway. Hana-ya.”
“Yes!”
– “Thank you.”
“….!”
It was an unexpected gratitude, but somehow, I felt an emotion I couldn’t quite place.
– “Happy birthday.”
As he lifted the paper cup on the screen, my uncle, Manager Kang, and Mary all raised their cups at the same time. Then they all offered their congratulations.
“Happy birthday!”
“Happy birthday!”
“Congratulations!!”
“…Thank you.”
Finally, Han Taejin, saying he was sleepy, asked for understanding, and the man on the screen disappeared into the darkness. We continued with the birthday party, now enjoyed by just four of us.
…….
Mary tore into a chicken drumstick with both hands and said.
“I really like sitting together like this and eating. Hehe.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“Really? I’m glad. But, um… I didn’t prepare a gift…”
“It’s okay. I already have everything I want.”
“Really…?! That’s amazing.”
The granddaughter of a wealthy family looked at me in surprise.
I couldn’t help but laugh at how ironic that fact was.
“…..”
My uncle kept bowing to Manager Kang, expressing his gratitude.
Manager Kang occasionally wiped Mary’s mouth and offered good wishes.
Mary, now able to move her hands, picked up delicious food and ate.
Watching that ordinary scene, I couldn’t help but smile. It resembled the birthday parties I had seen in the media, but it was more serene and warm.
“…Heh.”
For some reason.
I don’t know why, but I felt incredibly proud.
At that moment, my phone rang. I opened it and saw several messages from my seniors and Juri.
「Yujin: I saw the dorm nameplate, and it’s your birthday today! Congratulations~! ^^」
「Juri: “Sis told me! Happy birthday!”」
「Jina: “Happy birthday! Happy birthday!”」
「Aeri: “Congrats~ When you come back, I’ll share the English tea I brought from England!”」
“…Hehe”
Mary came up to me, smiling. Then, she suddenly placed something on my head. It was a red birthday hat.
“Ta-da!”
“…”
“I made it myself!”
“By the way, I’m suddenly curious—what exactly is the purpose of wearing this…?”
“Huh? Don’t you know? I heard from America that in the old days, people wore tall hats to connect with God and receive blessings!”
“…?”
So that’s the Christian reason behind it?
“…”
To connect with the heavens… I thought it was a rather emotional, yet ridiculous reason.
I doubted that just wearing a tall hat could somehow connect with the heavens.
“…….”
But.
If it meant even a tiny bit of closeness to God, personally, I wanted to ask for just one thing.
“Please, show this scene to the ‘Go Hun’ of 20 years later.”
I prayed like that.
“Hana! Come over here and eat this!”
“Hana! Should we set off some fireworks?”
“Miss, fireworks in the hospital… not a good idea…”
I looked at them and glanced toward the hospital window.
“Ah.”
It was already snowing.
Snow was quietly piling up under the dark sky.
I saw the first snow drifting between the red lights.
I muttered absentmindedly.
“First snow…”
“Really? That’s amazing!”
“This is going to make driving harder.”
“Haha, when you’re driving, that’s the first thing you think about.”
I’m sure.
It didn’t seem like there was ever snow on my birthday before.
“…Amazing.”
So, three years after the regression.
A blessed winter was passing by.