Chapter 27: A Nation Strangely Hostile Toward Egg Fried Rice

I was taken aback.

What had I done to deserve this kind of beating?

“Seriously, why was she just standing there while I was hitting her, but as soon as I stop, she starts hitting me?”

[+HurryAndLeave: Because when you’re getting hit, you can’t talk, obviously.]

[You’re such a menace, lol.]

[That’s how normal people react.]

[If someone starts hitting you on the street, you stand there and take it first, because you don’t know what kind of psycho they are.]

[Pepe: Why are you acting like the victim here, lololol?]

“I guess that’s true…”

I didn’t fully understand, but I decided to let it go.

Whack! Whack!

While I was still processing the situation, the Chinese woman started hitting me back—probably payback for what I had done earlier.

Then suddenly.

Whuuuum.

Everything faded to black.

I was abruptly transported onto an airplane.

It seemed the game was finally about to start.

“Oh, looks like it’s starting now.”

[+HurryAndLeave: This is gonna be hilarious, lolol.]

[Let’s kill that Chinese player if we meet her again.]

[Whoa, hold up.]

[But doesn’t mentioning ‘Chinese’ get you banned?]

[Pepe: No, you only get banned for racist remarks, not just mentioning it.]

[If you got banned just for mentioning it, wouldn’t that be even more discriminatory? Lol.]

[Voldemort vibes, lmao.]

Thud, thud, thud.

The airplane’s engine roared as I scanned for a good place to land.

Even though I’d never played this game before, I’d watched videos of it in the past.
I had a general idea of how to play.

“I’ll head to the school and land there.”

Landing at the school seemed like a good choice.

It felt like a place where a lot of players would gather.

[+HurryAndLeave: There are probably gonna be tons of people there, lol.]

[You sure about this?]

[LikeYogurt wouldn’t go in without confidence, come on, lol.]

[With your aim, confidence will come naturally, even if you didn’t have it at first.]

[Pepe: Let’s go for a rampage.]

I marked the school as my target and began my descent immediately.

Whuuuuum.

“Am I doing this right?”

I was a bit confused because I hadn’t paid much attention to the parachuting parts of the videos I’d seen.

I figured I just needed to aim my body downward as much as possible.

[Yeah, that’s right.]

[Just keep going straight down.]

[You’re doing fine.]

[Keep it up, that’s perfect.]

[+HurryAndLeave: To go faster from here, you’d need to use techniques only pros know.]

I descended as quickly as I could, opened my parachute, and landed on the school rooftop.

Compared to the other players, I’d managed a pretty fast landing.

After touching down, I immediately grabbed a gun nearby and loaded it.

Click.

Then, I started taking down the unarmed men and women scattered around the school.

Rat-tat-tat-tat!

Gunfire filled the halls of the school.

“Hearing gunfire at a school feels a bit like… America.”

[?]

[What do you mean by that, bro?;]

[+HurryAndLeave: OMG LOLLLLL.]

[Yeah, it does feel very American, doesn’t it?]

[In America, they do shooting practice at school.]

[Pepe: Shooting practice (real-life combat).]

After taking out the nearby players, I quickly started looting items.

I had only cleared the immediate area, not the entire school.

There were definitely more survivors lurking around.

“By the way, this game’s easier than I thought. I expected it to be harder.”

I’d assumed it would be a complex game with a lot to manage, but it turned out to be pretty simple.

Aside from the looting element, it didn’t feel all that different from other FPS games.

[+HurryAndLeave: Yeah, that’s why so many guys played it back then.]

[Guys were all over this game back in the day.]

[Shoutout to Mincheol from Kyungpook National University, Class of ’21, who played PUBG with me all day at the PC bang! Are you doing well?!]

ᄂ The user has been temporarily removed from chat!

[What’s up with that guy…?]

[He just randomly doxxed someone, lol.]

[Pepe: That’s no different from an online flasher, honestly.]

I didn’t have time to pay much attention to the chat.

The game demanded my full focus—it was intense.

Thump, thump—.

I walked cautiously down the hallway, listening for signs of anyone nearby.

How long had I been walking quietly like that?

Boom, boom—.

I heard footsteps coming from above.

The moment I heard the sound—

Bang!

I took aim and blasted them in the head with a shotgun.

“Gotcha.”

It was a clean kill.

They went down in one shot.

[+HurryAndLeave: That was clean, lol.]

[So good, damn.]

[The great LikeYogurt!]

[Damn, you’re really good.]

[Pepe: Feels like you’re just really good at games in general.]

“I am a bit decent at games like this.”

While I wasn’t at a professional gamer level, I could hold my own in shooting games.
I wasn’t bad at other types of games, either.

[Yeah, you’re crazy good.]

[Every time you play a different game, it’s like there’s nothing you can’t do.]

[+HurryAndLeave: It feels like you’ve stolen all my gaming talent. Damn it, lol.]

[Pepe: Reality check: even if they didn’t, you’d still suck.]

ᄂ The user has been temporarily removed from chat!

[That’s such a petty timeout, lol.]

While keeping an eye on the chat, I started diving deeper into the game.

Meanwhile, something was happening elsewhere.

[Author: HurryAndLeave]

[Title: Even as a woman, I suck at games compared to LikeYogurt <<< If this applies to you, upvote, lol.]

[Content: (Picture of yogurt) Starting with myself.]

L: This is just you fishing for your post to go viral, lol.

ᄂ Yup, exactly, lolol.

L: Isn’t the stereotype that guys should suck at games? Why is he so good?

ᄂ Yeah, seriously…

L: If LikeYogurt is this good, then what does that make me, someone who grinds ranked for 10 hours a day to barely hit Master? Damn it.

ᄂ That makes you trash, doesn’t it?

ᄂ Facts only.

[Title: LikeYogurt taking out two people back-to-back with a shotgun, lolol.]

[Content: (CLIP) This guy is nuts.]

L: But aren’t shotguns kind of bad nowadays?

ᄂ Nah, shotguns are fine.

ᄂ: I heard shotguns are actually good, though.

L: Why is a guy good at games? Why is a guy good at games? Why is a guy good at games? Why is a guy good at games? Why is a guy good at games?

ᄂ: Inferiority complex.

L: 2033.

L: Honestly, LikeYogurt might be the best male gamer on Twis.

ᄂ: Yeah, I seriously think he’s the best.

[Author: Pepe]

[Title: But when did LikeYogurt get so many viewers?]

[Content: (Screenshot of 330 viewers) When did this happen? How did he suddenly blow up?]

L: Because he’s entertaining, duh.

ᄂ Pepe: No, but no matter how entertaining you are, this kind of growth doesn’t make sense.

ᄂ: If you’re fun to watch, viewers come flooding in. That’s just how streaming works.

L: His voice is great, too.

ᄂ: Let’s be real—he’s probably super handsome. There’s no way someone with that voice is ugly, lol.

ᄂ: [Acknowledging his voice is fine, but let’s not fantasize about his face, damn it.]

[Title: LikeYogurt]

[Content: (Picture of Lusha staring intently ahead) “Durahan energy, you wanna die?”]

L: Fact: Lusha also played a duo with LikeYogurt once.

ᄂ: Stop lying, it was just random queue matching.

ᄂ: So does Lusha play better than LikeYogurt?

ᄂ: Yeah, she’s good.

ᄂ: Then why didn’t she perform better last time, lol.

ᄂ: Blocked.

L: Durahan, the GOAT of VTuber energy… nothing but respect for Lusha.

ᄂ: But what was that duo with LikeYogurt about?

ᄂ: It wasn’t a duo, you dumbass.

ᄂ: Understood!

[Title: LikeYogurt clbears everyone around him and escapes the school, lol.]

[Content: (CLIP) This guy is nuts.]

L: LikeYogurt <<< This dude is just naturally good at games.

ᄂ: And on top of that, he has a nice voice.

ᄂ: It’s practically cheating at life.

ᄂ: He’s also great at drawing.

ᄂ: If he’s good-looking, too, then he’s perfect.

L: Didn’t he say this was his first time playing the game?

ᄂ: Total lie—how can anyone believe that, lol?

ᄂ: But his playtime stats actually show it’s true.

ᄂ: He’s just naturally gifted.

[Author: HurryAndLeave]

[Title: LikeYogurt just entered the top 10 live, lololol.]

[Content: (CLIP)]

L: Oh, I misread the title and thought it said “top-tier escort,” lol.

ᄂ: Dude, come on;

ᄂ: You’re seriously asking to get sued, HurryAndLeave.

ᄂ: I’m a citizen of the United States—go ahead and sue me, lol.

L: He’s probably about to snag that chicken dinner, for real.

“Alright, I’m swapping my shotgun for a sniper rifle and a rifle. Shotguns don’t seem that great anymore.”

I personally liked shotguns, but as the game went on, they seemed to lose their effectiveness.

Reluctantly, I decided to make the switch.

[+HurryAndLeave: Can’t be helped…]

[+HurryAndLeave: Shotguns are trash in the late game.]

[Yeah, with other guns, you’re good even in the late stages, lol.]

[Let’s go for the chicken dinner!]

I felt a bit sad about it, but it was fine.

Winning was what mattered.

I could always go for a shotgun win some other time.

Click.

With that thought, I loaded my sniper rifle and started moving carefully, keeping my body hidden within the surrounding buildings.

Step, step, step—.

I crouched low, walking slowly and quietly to avoid making any noise

As I crept forward—

Rat-tat-tat-tat~!!!

A deafening barrage of gunfire erupted, and the kill log lit up on my screen.

“Oh, a lot of people just died.”

That was good news for me.

It meant fewer competitors.

As I was sitting quietly, waiting, I suddenly heard a sound.

Rustle, rustle.

The sound of grass moving came from nearby.

At the same time, I heard a familiar voice:

“Lu guo ni zai zheli deng, mei ren hui zhidao.”

(“If you stay here, no one will notice.”)

“…Wait, is that person still using their mic?”

Judging by the voice, it seemed to be the same Chinese woman I had traded punches with earlier.

[+HurryAndLeave: Wait, she’s still alive and still has her mic on? LOLLLLL.]

[That’s actually impressive in a weird way.]

[How is she still alive while broadcasting her location with her mic on?]

[Pepe: Just go smack her in the back of the head already.]

Even though her voice was familiar, she was still an enemy.

I carefully approached the source of her voice, moving closer to the bushes.

There she was—lying flat on the ground, probably thinking no one could see her.

“…Hold on.”

I suddenly had a brilliant idea.

I opened the settings and turned on my mic. Then, I picked up a frying pan.

Sneak, sneak, sneak—.

[+HurryAndLeave: No way, you’re not seriously going to do this, are you?]

[LOL this guy is something else.]

[Just tell her you’re making egg fried rice with that pan, haha.]

[Careful, egg fried rice is dangerous territory.]

[Pepe: This is just cruel, lol.]

Getting closer to her, I leaned into my mic and said.

“Nihao.”

Then, without hesitation, I started smacking her head repeatedly with the frying pan.

THWACK! THWACK!