Chapter 2: This Wasn’t A Dream?

“Let’s get a divorce.”

Yuria’s eyes trembled faintly.

“…What…?”

She barely managed to speak, her voice low and fragile. 

Her unusually long lashes quivered.

I rubbed my stinging hand and looked at her again.

It felt like I had finally released all the resentment I’d bottled up.

A strange guilt flickered inside me, but more than anything, I was just relieved that this was a dream.

So she could make that kind of face too, huh.

“This marriage was something you could’ve tossed aside any time. We never fit together anyway. There’s a gap in status between us.”

“…?”

Yuria stared at me blankly, too stunned to even reach for her cheek.

She couldn’t seem to comprehend the sudden shift in atmosphere.

“…What?”

“You nobles value status above all, don’t you? That’s why you did what you did, isn’t it?”

“Yu…jin…”

“This works out, honestly. I wasn’t planning on staying any longer either.”

“…”

From her completely contorted expression, a quiet sorrow trickled out.

She could no longer maintain the carefully composed facade she had worn all her life.

But I didn’t have enough affection left to care.

“There are plenty of those noble types around you. Go find your next husband.”

At those words, Yuria began to crumble.

The cold woman who never showed emotion now clenched her fists, swallowing her feelings.

“You never loved me anyway.”

There was no empathy, no concern, not even the barest courtesy left between us.

“It was a marriage of convenience. That’s all. So let’s end it.”

To be honest, if this weren’t a dream, I wouldn’t have been able to say any of this.

It wasn’t that I hated her enough to talk to her like this, far from it. 

But these were words I’d held back for too long.

And in a way, this was also what she had wanted.

She must have suffered just as much from this marriage. 

She would have eventually asked me for a divorce too.

And only now, after meeting her in this dream, did I finally realize that.

You never wanted this, did you?

I felt a strange relief wash over me, and the corners of my mouth lifted slightly.

But Yuria shook her head.

“…Didn’t you hear me say I want a divorce?”

“…I… can’t go back.”

“I’ve already made up my mind.”

“…Yujin.”

Yuria’s expression twisted as she grabbed my collar. 

Her eyes grew cloudy with emotion. 

She bit her lip, and the tension in the air shifted.

But then she quickly realized what she was about to do and took a few steps back.

After a deep breath, she asked quietly—

“…Do you want a child with me?”

“What?”

This time, the confusion was mine. 

The question had come so far out of left field that all I could do was blurt out a dumbfounded response.

It was phrased delicately, but let’s be honest, what she really meant was, If that’s what you want, I can give you a child.

And yet, we weren’t even sleeping in the same house. 

We didn’t even live under the same roof.

…And she was a noble, trying to have a child with a commoner.

It was a ridiculous question, completely beside the point. 

Still, I didn’t hesitate.

“If we had a child… what did that child ever do to deserve it?”

“..!”

“They’d be born with my half-blooded lineage… and they’d be tormented even worse than I was.”

“…That’s…”

She hadn’t expected that kind of answer.

Yuria’s face flushed with surprise at my blunt reply.

“That’s exactly why you shouldn’t be with me. If you want a child, find someone else a noble. That would be better in every way.”

“……”

At my words, her composure started to crack again.

“Why are you saying all this? You weren’t like this before… Is it because you hate me now?”

Her tone had changed no longer the cold, stiff formality she always used.

It was like she’d turned back into the girl I’d known ten years ago, when we were childhood friends.

“I’m just… tired of this.”

I didn’t even spare her a glance.

But the more I looked away, the more her strained expression began to crumble.

“The heir of a magic household, willing to bleed for you even knowing it would hurt… But not anymore. I don’t want to bleed for you anymore.”

It was over.

Even this dream, playing like a reel of memories, would soon disappear.

I turned to leave.

“Don’t go.”

Yuria grabbed my arm.

Her eyes were filled with desperation.

She had even thrown away her pride, but I couldn’t bring myself to believe her.

“…Just because you say you’re tired doesn’t mean you can decide to divorce on your own.”

“I don’t have magic. It never made sense for me to be here in the first place. You’re part of a magical noble family. Your goal is to produce superior circuits. There’s no reason for you to hold onto me.”

“High society isn’t as simple as you think. You think noble divorces are easy?”

“Let’s not twist things. You’re the only noble here.”

When I cut her off mid-sentence, Yuria’s words halted too just like that.

I used to believe she was the only one who ever truly cared for me.

But that wasn’t true.

Every now and then, she’d just pretend to care out of obligation, nothing more.

Looking back, it’s clear she really did hate me back then.

…She only started acting strange toward the very end.

“We’ve both held back a lot, haven’t we? But we don’t have to stay tied together anymore.”

“…”

“You know what your brothers did to me. How they’d call me into mock duels just to use me as target practice.”

“…”

“Even the servants just treated me like garbage. You knew all of that.”

“…”

“There was no place for me in your family. No one cared. I didn’t even have decent magic circuits, so there was no reason for anyone to bother. That’s why you didn’t, either, right?”

“…Yujin… That’s not—”

“I clung to you in the end. I begged you.”

Even after losing one eye.

Even when I was ready to give up my sword.

You still wouldn’t look back at me.

Whatever it was—it’s all in the past now.

‘And Yuria probably doesn’t even remember it anymore.’

Maybe I was being too abrupt. Yuria’s expression went blank for a moment.

So I added,

“…I really did want to make things work between us.”

“…”

“Even if your family treated me like trash… I was ready to see only you.”

“…”

“…But I’ve realized now—it doesn’t mean anything anymore.”

“…I don’t understand a single thing you’re saying.”

“You don’t have to. It’s not like you ever tried to understand. Just stay as you are.”

“…”

“Because I’m the one leaving.”

The moment I grabbed the doorknob, a voice called out from behind.

Tension laced her voice, but I didn’t turn around.

“…Yujin, do you remember?”

“…”

“The night the moon fell, you made me a promise…”

“…”

“You held my hand and said you’d always stay with me…”

“You.”

I held my breath.

It’s just a dream. 

The fact that I’m feeling so much in a dream honestly, it’s pathetic.

But to me, it had been a moment of real resolve.

Just the thought that I could be with Yuria it felt like I had the entire world in my hands.

…Looking back, though, maybe it was all just amusement for her.

“…Even back then, you thought I was a joke.”

“…”

“Of course, it is laughable. A commoner confessing his feelings to someone like you. Is that why you smiled at me then?”

Yuria’s eyes trembled.

Her lips moved faintly, a small voice escaping but it never reached my ears.

The more I had loved her, the greater the sense of betrayal after she left.

“…Don’t say anything else.”

“…”

“I can’t—”

Trust you anymore.

I turned around and left the room.

There was no longer any reason for me to stay here.

///

I spent the time alone.

It wasn’t often in my life that my composure broke.

Yuria tried to recall the peace she had felt the day before.

She had entered the room tense but also filled with hope that she could spend some time with him again.

…No, to be exact, she had wanted to forget the string of unpleasant dreams she’d been having. 

Being near him let her do that, even if only for a little while.

Had there ever been a time recently when being beside someone didn’t hurt?

Being at ease with a man this was something she had never experienced before in her life.

…Maybe even to the point that the feeling itself scared her.

For someone who had lived her entire life so coldly, this warmth was unfamiliar, uncomfortable.

Was it because of those feelings?

“…”

Yuria couldn’t even tell what she was feeling anymore.

She couldn’t put it into words.

All she knew for sure… was that her eyes had never once left him.

When she thought back to that moment—

She had been desperate, chasing after him with her gaze.

Her lips had twitched.

And instinctively, she knew this would be the last chance to stop him.

She thought, just for a second, that he had looked back at her.

He seemed relieved on the surface, but there was disappointment etched into his face.

She didn’t even need to ask who that emotion was meant for.

‘…Ah.’

She didn’t say the heartbreaking thought out loud.

So many tangled feelings and confusion—

If she tried to write them down, she’d fill pages and pages.

They churned in her head… but in the end, she hadn’t been able to stop him.

Whenever she thought back to that moment—

“…Should I have locked him away?”

But then, the moment she realized what she had just said, she took a few steps back, startled.

“What am I… even thinking?”

A wave of dizziness swept over her.

…Why am I like this?

She was never someone who let emotions like this affect her.

To be served divorce papers and be left reeling…

Could there be anything more pathetic?

…All I wanted just once was for him to look back at me.

At that moment, she caught sight of herself in the full-length mirror.

Her face, uncharacteristically flushed, looked as if it might burst.

Maybe it was just in her head, but the back of her neck was burning, and her eyes welled up with heat and moisture.

A stark contrast to her usual cold, cynical demeanor.

Yuria slowly tucked the loose strands of hair behind her ear and closed her eyes gently.

“…Haa…”

She let out a long sigh, her gaze settling on the narrow gap of the closed door, lost in a tangle of thoughts.

It felt like quite some time had passed since he left her side, yet there’d been no word of his return to the estate.

The conversation about getting divorced kept flashing through her mind, leaving a strange tightness in her chest.

Then suddenly—

Yuria raised her hand and brushed her cheek.

For the first time, her expression subtly shifted at the sting of that unfamiliar, numbing pain he had inflicted.

“…I don’t want this.”

By the time her emotions had calmed down, she found herself murmuring those words.

A small box pulled from the drawer held their rings.

She meant to throw it in the trash—

But couldn’t bring herself to let go.

They had gone through such trouble to engrave each other’s names.

Her ring, the one bearing her name, showed faint traces of having been worn a few times.

The other ring…

Still sat there, untouched, not a single mark to suggest it had ever been used.

Now it simply waited aching for the one who would never return.

“…”

Yuria couldn’t bring herself to speak.

She had always gone speechless in front of him.

His retreating figure, striding away from her without hesitation.

When she recalled that sight—

Her heart pounded.

It hurt. 

So much.

Just imagining a future divorced from him left a gaping hole in her chest.

Her nose stung.

Her breathing turned ragged.

She could barely stand upright, staggering as her temples throbbed.

If they were to assign blame in this divorce…

“…It was my sin.”

Her voice trembled, thick with longing and regret.

And in the end—

She had no choice but to admit it.