Yuri noona is quite perceptive.
I realized this quickly, even though I hadn’t met her many times.
Perhaps because neither Mom, I, nor Ayun noona ever said anything about our house, Yuri noona stopped mentioning wanting to visit after a while.
Of course, we still met up and hung out in various places, and occasionally ended up in the neighborhood where we lived.
But she never brought up visiting our house again or staying over.
Did Yuri noona figure out why we didn’t show her our home?
…No, I don’t think so.
Sure, if we had ‘shown her,’ she would have understood immediately why we disliked her coming over.
But until then, she wouldn’t be able to grasp it.
Yuri noona was completely different from anyone else I had ever met.
She carried herself with effortless ease, laughing off mistakes or failures and trying again.
I heard she failed her driving test almost five times.
Even when taking the TOEIC exam, she approached it casually, complaining but retrying until her score gradually improved.
She didn’t concern herself with how much money her friends had.
If someone was short on cash during a meal, she’d coolly pay and say, “You can get it next time.”
And then she’d completely forget she even paid.
Yuri noona… was a good person.
At the very least, she wasn’t someone who judged others by money.
But that personality came from living in a world different from ours.
Driving tests, TOEIC exams—they weren’t free.
In fact, they were costly enough to make frequent attempts unreasonable for us.
Ayun noona and I couldn’t afford to take such risks.
We had to study hard, get the best possible results in one shot, and make full use of them.
If we didn’t, we’d lose money, and losing money meant finding ways to earn it elsewhere, which ultimately cost us time too.
Even if we wanted to treat a friend to a meal, we couldn’t.
Our wallets only ever held just enough for our own share.
Yuri noona’s perspective on money was different from ours.
While she might think, “I’ll just work hard and get by even if I lose a little,” for us, losing that “little” meant being unable to live.
That’s also why Ayun noona seemed so admirable to me.
Whenever we passed a Salvation Army kettle, Ayun noona never walked by without donating, just like we used to when we were kids, sparing even a little for those less fortunate.
I did the same every time she did.
How could someone be so kind, even in a tight situation? As I learned things I hadn’t known as a child—or didn’t have to know—I realized just how amazing noona really was.
After Mr. Park Sanghyun left, Ayun noona continued to look at the wedding invitation with a delighted expression.
It seemed like it had been a long time since she’d been this happy.
Just watching her made me feel warm inside.
As I kept glancing at her, she caught me and smiled.
“So, do you want to come with me?”
“Huh?”
I blinked.
Honestly, I had been thinking of going.
Though Yuri noona hadn’t visited our home, she had run into Mom a few times in the neighborhood, and her outgoing personality meant they quickly became friendly.
Knowing Yuri noona, she had probably sent an invitation too.
So…
“Ah, would it feel awkward since you don’t know her?”
While I was lost in thought, Ayun noona seemed to think she had gotten ahead of herself.
She looked a bit embarrassed as she spoke.
“This is kind of like a workplace obligation…”
“No, it’s not that!”
Worried that noona might drop the topic, I quickly interjected.
She blinked a couple of times, surprised at my sudden outburst.
“Oh, really?”
“Yes! I like buffets, after all!”
Because who doesn’t love buffets?
Well, there were always exceptions—those who kept eating at wedding buffets while complaining nonstop about how tasteless they were.
But I wasn’t like that.
Buffets were places filled with foods I couldn’t normally afford.
Not just in this world but even in the otherworld, it was unimaginable.
Even after defeating almost all the Demon King’s generals and the church’s desperate efforts to purify the land, cattle, pigs, and chickens didn’t just magically appear.
They had to be raised before they could be supplied.
Near the end of the war, food conditions improved somewhat, but in the early days of my time in the otherworld, the kingdom collected all the food and distributed it sparingly.
Only soldiers on the frontlines, right before battle, had access to protein-rich meals—and even then, only a select few.
Being able to eat what you want when you want is a blessing.
For me, that’s what a buffet represents.
…Of course, what I really wanted now was to see Mom again.
“Is that so…”
Maybe because I spoke too enthusiastically, noona looked a little dazed.
“Well then, I’ll cover your gift money.”
Earlier, Mr. Park had said I didn’t need to pay for a gift, but noona didn’t seem to agree.
Knowing her, that was expected.
“No, I should pay for what I eat…”
“It’s fine. You wouldn’t even be going if it weren’t for me. Besides, you don’t know them.”
She spoke lightly.
…Ah, right.
To Yuri noona, I was just a stranger.
While I might be looking forward to seeing her again, to her, I’d only be the younger sibling of a friend tagging along.
“But…”
“Really, it’s fine.”
I thought it was wonderful that Yuri noona was getting married.
She was such a good person, after all.
Her partner, whom she’d dated for a long time, was a good person too.
Judging from today’s encounter, he seemed to have a stable job as well.
As the good people around me moved on to happy marriages, I remained just an outsider.
When I suddenly grew sullen, noona seemed to think she might have said something wrong.
“I’m sorry. To you, it probably just feels like you’re tagging along to a wedding for someone you barely know, but… ah.”
As she was speaking, noona muttered as if something had just occurred to her.
For a brief moment, her expression stiffened.
Had I made some mistake?
“…Shihyun,” noona called my name seriously.
“Yes?”
Suddenly adopting a serious tone, noona spoke to me.
“This time, don’t worry about the congratulatory money. Later, when you really get to know them, there will be another chance to celebrate properly—like at a first-birthday party or something. You can celebrate properly then, so this time, can’t you just do as I suggest?”
I wasn’t sure why noona had suddenly become so serious, but… there was probably a reason she couldn’t avoid.
I’d only ever been to Mom’s wedding when I was a kid, but noona must have attended many such events as an adult.
There must be customs or etiquette that I didn’t know about.
“Alright, I understand.”
In the end, I nodded and answered her.
For a moment, I had forgotten that the person in front of me was entirely different from the person I used to know.
Though they were the same age, their gender and appearance were completely different.
Sometimes small habits reminded me of him, but that was likely because I was still thinking about it.
The real problem was that this person’s name was also “Cha Shihyun,” just like his.
It wasn’t an impossible coincidence.
Not impossible, but…
If someone noticed an envelope for the congratulatory money with the name “Cha Shihyun” on it… or if someone saw the name “Cha Shihyun” in the guest book…
What if his mother found out?
I could explain.
I’d say it was just a coincidence, that they were completely different people.
Everyone would probably understand.
But concern about me would flare up again.
After years of thinking I’d moved on, they’d believe I was still clinging to it.
I couldn’t make them worry again after how much anxiety I had already caused.
Yes, someday everyone will know.
I can’t hide it forever, and I know I can’t keep acting indefinitely.
…So that’s what it was.
That’s why Hyunseung said I didn’t need to pay the congratulatory money earlier.
Yuri must have already noticed.
…She must be worried.
I’d said that name so many times during our cheerful conversation.
A bitter taste filled my mouth.
Forgetting everything… That’s impossible.
How could I forget that day? How much I had been looking forward to it?
“Noona.”
The “Shihyun” in front of me spoke.
“Is something bothering you?”
“Hm? Oh, no.”
I smiled bitterly.
“I just remembered something I almost forgot.”
No… maybe it’s not something I can forget.
It’s just something I don’t want to forget.
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