A long silence followed.
An unidentifiable stillness stretched out.
Eris lowered her head deeply. Her vision blurred, and her mind went blank. Somehow, she had blurted it out impulsively. She was terrified of what answer she would hear.
Of course, it would be a lie to say she had no expectations, but upon careful consideration, she thought she had been too hasty. Knowing he was polygamous, asking him to give her a chance too?
‘What was that, Eris, you idiot!’
Her shoulders trembled slightly. She bit her lower lip. She felt her foolishness to the bone. She had acted only emotionally, without a shred of reason.
Of course, how many people can make rational judgments in front of someone they like…
“Eris.”
At that moment, Yohan’s mouth opened. He moved the utensils he had paused, cutting into the lamb chop steak.
“…First, I want to thank you for being honest. In any case, it means you have good feelings for me.”
Eris clenched her fist. No matter how clumsy she was, she knew that this flow was heading towards rejection.
“But I don’t think I can reciprocate Eris’s feelings. I’m really sorry.”
“…May I ask the reason?”
She slowly raised her head. Eris’s gray eyes looked at Yohan. He put the grilled vegetables in his mouth with a blank expression and a somewhat bitter face.
“It’s not because I dislike Eris. I like someone as sharp and reliable as Eris.”
Yohan continued, gently wiping his mouth with a napkin.
“The reason lies with me. I already have many lovers.”
He already has three lovers.
Francia, Rudella, Rudbeckia.
He might have even accepted Laryana.
“But my time is limited. So, I inevitably have to neglect someone. So, it’s difficult to give a good answer to that proposal.”
And if Eris comes here too, it might be difficult to divide the love. Everything is difficult to adjust and distribute. Surely, there will be someone who feels left out.
He could do it if he wanted to.
But he wasn’t confident.
“…Wouldn’t even occasional meetings be possible?”
Eris asked in a trembling voice. Her eyes were moist.
“You don’t have to look at me except when the Minister wants to. I just want to live by your side…”
She tried to calm her trembling voice.
“…Well.”
But Yohan shook his head.
“A relationship that is achieved by someone’s sacrifice will inevitably lead to resentment in the end. I’m not saying Eris would, but discord might arise.”
People’s hearts can change at any time depending on the situation. Even if she says that now, who knows what will happen later.
“…”
Eris lowered her head again. Her clenched fist trembled. Emotions welled up, and tears threatened to fall. But she took a breath and strongly suppressed them.
Seeing that, his heart softened again.
‘…I thought this would happen, so I tried not to create the situation.’
It wasn’t just that the relationship between superior and subordinate that they had built up might collapse. This rejection was bound to hurt Eris in some way.
Yohan sighed softly, so that Eris wouldn’t notice, and looked at her. Eris still couldn’t raise her head.
“Well… if Eris can’t give up even after time passes, let’s start by narrowing the distance. I think I’ll need time too.”
Yohan said quietly. He wasn’t giving hope like managing a fish farm. He wasn’t saying things he didn’t want to out of pity either.
He also had feelings for Eris, so he said it with the intention of getting to know each other first.
“…Is that, really?”
Eris widened her eyes and met Yohan’s gaze. Yohan nodded.
“Yes. Things might change over time. Eris only knows me as her superior, right?”
And he smiled awkwardly.
“That’s certainly true… but my feelings will never change.”
“…Tell me that later. Tell me when time has passed and your heart hasn’t changed.”
“Yes.”
Eris smiled awkwardly. Her eyes were still moist, but her lips were smiling.
Yohan turned his gaze back to the food. And slowly sighed.
His head was complicated.
But the conclusion was already set.
‘I said I’d make my attitude clear.’
He’ll just do what he wants.
* * *
Yohan, who came to the mansion, took a shower and immediately lay down on the bed. As he sank into the soft feeling, he sighed at the fatigue that washed over him.
“Hoo.”
He had spent a lot of mental energy thinking so much. Even on days when he used magic, it wasn’t like this. Apparently, the two are separate.
“Did something happen?”
As Yohan slumped powerlessly, Francia, who was reading a book next to him, asked.
“Just, I’ve been having a lot of worries lately.”
“What worries?”
“Trivial worries. I’ll tell you later when the time comes.”
“You make me more curious when you say that.”
Francia chuckled.
Yohan carefully continued the conversation.
“What would you do if more lovers were added here?”
“Here? Are you saying more than three?”
“I guess so…?”
Francia narrowed her eyes and stared intently at Yohan. A cold shiver ran down his spine at the sharp, cold gaze.
Could it be that he asked the wrong question?
Clearly, it was wrong to think about it.
But soon, Francia chuckled.
“Well… I won’t stop you if Yohan wants to bring them in. But if my feelings for me change because of that, or if the love that comes to me decreases, then it will be different.”
It’s not noticeable now that there are only two, but someday the balance will tilt. No matter how much it is Yohan, he was also a person and a man.
“I don’t think that will happen, but Francia being the first is still the same. I can be here now thanks to Francia.”
Yohan smiled lightly. If it hadn’t been for Francia, he might have been sold off in a political marriage, let alone polygamy. He had no ability at that time.
Because she was there, he worked hard, and because he worked hard, he was able to come this far. If it wasn’t for Francia, he would still be in the same place.
“Well, I’ll trust you because it’s Yohan. You’ve been like that so far.”
Francia smiled softly. It must have been a perfect answer.
“But aren’t those people strange? To the outside world, Yohan is about to marry me.”
“They both knew it was polygamy.”
Francia’s eyes widened.
“Oh… they knew? How…?”
“It’s a long story to explain…”
Yohan gently stroked Francia’s slender fingers and continued.
“Princess Laryana used the Special Task Force to investigate me, and Eris inferred it from the conversation I had with
Francia during the former Crown Prince’s execution mission.”
They were scary people.
“Goodness…”
Francia also got goosebumps. Eris was like that because she gave a hint, but what about Laryana?
“Princess Laryana seems to have a problem no matter how you look at it.”
“I think so too.”
She even used the imperial Special Task Force for background checks. Even Yohan thought that Laryana at that time was a crazy person. She wouldn’t be like that now, though.
“Anyway… I want to tell you that I’m okay. Of course, it would be a problem if there were too many. I told my father too, right? That it won’t increase any more here.”
“Ah.”
Come to think of it, he had assured the Duke. Yohan made a small sound. He was about to break his promise in less than a year.
“…We’ll know when time passes. It’s still in the reserve stage.”
“Hehe, yes.”
Francia lay down completely and buried her face in Yohan’s chest. Her body melted languidly at the sound of his heart beating gently.
“Yohan, I don’t have much time left until I’m discharged from public service.”
“That’s right. Two months left?”
“A month and a half.”
“It’s soon.”
Yohan stroked Francia’s soft hair. The texture was smooth.
“Yeah. So…”
Francia raised her eyes and looked at Yohan.
“Let’s do it without contraception from now on. Is that okay?”
Of course, it was welcome.
“I don’t have to hold back anymore.”
“Is that so? Mhehe…”
Francia made a sly smile and took off Yohan’s clothes.