The engagement ceremony was handled in a simplified manner.
Originally, it should have been officiated by a member of the clergy, but the Emperor took over the role, and even that ended in less than a minute.
What actually took time was the painting of the portrait.
As a tradition of the Empire and a proof of the engagement, the portrait had to be painted, both before and after the regression, and it was something that couldn’t be refused.
Ironically, the Emperor had kept a painter on standby just for that one tradition.
So, Ilia and I had to spend hours with forced smiles, arms linked.
Naturally, that time was unbearably boring.
Unable to move, the only thing I could do was lose myself in thought, but even that was impossible because of Ilia.
In the past, and even now, I couldn’t help but be conscious of the arm and hand touching Ilia’s.
Moreover, the way Ilia looked at me had changed significantly compared to before the regression.
Instead of being filled with deep anger and resentment, her eyes now held a calmness.
When she looked at the Emperor, I could sense her anger, but when she looked at me, there was no trace of it.
Ilia was strangely compliant with this situation.
As if she already knew about it.
That was what puzzled me.
Unfortunately, as I mentioned earlier, it was very difficult to lose myself in thought.
Especially since Ilia was staring at me so intently.
After about an hour, I had no choice but to speak up first.
“Why are you staring at me like that?”
I asked Ilia in a voice low enough that the painter wouldn’t hear, and Ilia, maintaining her pose, whispered back to me.
“Well, it’s hard not to pay attention to the person who’s going to be my husband in the future.”
“…Ah.”
I stopped thinking.
This was so different from the Ilia before the regression.
Strangely, her actions made my heart race.
“What, what do you mean by that…”
In response to my words, Ilia asked instead.
“Should I not look at you or talk to you, even though we’re about to get married?”
“…Ah…”
Surprisingly, in the past, Ilia had told me not to look at her or talk to her.
That was after the engagement ceremony, when I was leaving the Rigmond family, so hearing those words from Ilia now was shocking.
“Did you really think that?”
Ilia’s eyes narrowed.
I could tell her mood had worsened.
“N-no, I didn’t think that. It’s just that I wondered if I deserved it…”
Ilia frowned, looking incredulous at my words.
“Why would you think that?”
“This engagement was unilaterally pushed by the Emperor, wasn’t it? I thought you might not like me…”
I trailed off.
After all, there was a past where Ilia had disliked me.
“Of course, I don’t like you.”
I was at a loss for words at Ilia’s blunt statement.
Of course, I already knew that, but I didn’t expect her to say it so frankly.
Even if I didn’t show it, did she still dislike me?
“Don’t make that hurt expression.”
“…I’m not hurt.”
“Yes, you are.”
“…I already knew you didn’t like me.”
“I don’t dislike you.”
“…Huh?”
When I reflexively asked back, Ilia relaxed her expression and spoke.
“Not liking someone and disliking them are different things.”
“I know that, but…”
“You—no, Aren.”
When Ilia called my name, I flinched for a moment.
Even before the regression, she had called my name only a handful of times.
So, I couldn’t help but flinch reflexively.
“Looking at you, Aren, it seems like you have low self-esteem.”
I couldn’t refute Ilia’s words.
It was only natural.
I was someone who couldn’t protect my lord and the person I loved.
Even though I was lucky enough to get a new chance, those memories were already etched into me, so when it came to Ilia, it was inevitable.
‘Is that why I act so strangely when I’m with Ilia…’
In the end, it was because of my guilt towards Ilia that I couldn’t help but be passive around her.
“Aren, you said you like me, right?”
I flinched again at Ilia’s words.
“I… never said that.”
I had never actually said it out loud, so in a way, she was right.
But Ilia snorted and said,
“I made it so obvious, hoping you’d notice. Do you think I’m an idiot?”
“Yes.”
This time, I couldn’t back down.
Who was Ilia?
A genius in swordsmanship, and despite being only 15 years old, she was a capable leader who managed the Rigmond family well.
But when it came to love, Ilia was more clueless than anyone.
In the past, during the war, Ilia and I had once stumbled upon a scene of two knights in love.
They were holding hands, sitting under a large tree, whispering sweet nothings—just an ordinary scene of lovers.
I still remember what Ilia said after seeing that.
“They fought last time, so I guess they’ve made up now.”
Ilia didn’t even realize they were dating.
She just thought they were close friends.
When I later told her they were a couple, she said she already knew, but I still remember her being late to the realization.
At that moment, I couldn’t help but realize.
Ilia was what you’d call “love-blind.”
“…”
Ilia glared at me.
But this time, I stood my ground.
“So, have you ever been in love?”
At my question, Ilia made a dumbfounded expression.
“W-well, what about you! You haven’t been in love either, right?”
“I have.”
Even if it didn’t last a day, I had confessed to Ilia, so I figured that counted.
I decided to be shameless about it.
“R-really? Seriously?”
Ilia, who asked that, had lost her composure, and for some reason, that felt very satisfying.
“Of course, naturally. Did you think I was a virgin?”
“T-that’s not…”
Unfortunately for Ilia, this was the truth.
After all, I had been married once, so I was definitely not a virgin.
Definitely not.
“…You playboy.”
“…What?”
“How could you cheat on me…”
Ilia pretended to wipe away tears.
Seeing her like that, I was about to say something, but someone else beat me to it.
“Don’t break your pose.”
The painter, frowning, glared at us, and Ilia quickly took my hand again.
“And please refrain from talking. It’s hard to focus.”
“…Sorry.”
In the end, we had no choice but to spend the remaining time in silence.
…
The portrait was finally completed, and we were able to move as the sun began to set.
It was what you’d call twilight.
The Rigmond estate was built on a massive mountain, so the view was truly breathtaking.
But unfortunately, I couldn’t focus on it.
The Emperor, having finished his business, prepared to leave with the portrait, and we had to see him off.
“Then, I shall take my leave.”
The Emperor left with his usual unsettling smile, and my brother, Ilia, and I only raised our heads after the Emperor’s carriage was out of sight.
“Then, we should be going too.”
At my brother’s words, Ilia spoke up.
“It’s getting late. Why don’t you stay the night?”
It was just a formal offer.
My brother and I weren’t so clueless as to not understand.
Even if my attitude towards Ilia had changed, other things hadn’t.
Ilia had just finished a funeral a few hours ago, and she was still wearing black mourning clothes.
Her voice, compared to when we first met, had improved slightly, but it was still subdued, and the redness around her eyes remained.
‘She needs time alone.’
Come to think of it, Ilia had gone down to the village alone earlier that day, the morning of the engagement ceremony.
I couldn’t even begin to imagine what she had been feeling when she went to the village.
“Your consideration is appreciated, but we must decline.”
My brother said that and turned his gaze to me.
“We won’t be seeing each other for a while, so it’s better to say goodbye.”
Before I could respond, Ilia spoke first.
“It’s fine. We’ll see each other soon enough.”
I was puzzled by Ilia’s words, but with my brother present, I couldn’t ask.
“…Then, we’ll be on our way.”
My brother got into the carriage, and I followed.
As the carriage slowly picked up speed and passed through the gates of the Rigmond estate, Ilia’s voice came from behind.
“I’ll send you letters, so don’t ignore them!”
“You two seem close.”
“Already sending letters? Kids these days are so fast. Back in my day, it took a month after starting to date Raila before we started sending letters—”
“Be quiet.”
“…Alright.”
For some reason, today, my brother seemed a little pitiful.