Yohan remained silent.
For Laryana, it felt as if time had stopped. Her breath caught, and she fidgeted with her fingers. A mix of fear, anxiety, and anticipation swirled within her.
Logically, there was no way she would receive a good answer. After all, she had only ever treated Yohan as a mere tool. That was why he resented her.
The poor impression she had left on him would not be undone.
And yet, she still wanted to convey her feelings to him. It felt like now or never, as if this was truly her last chance…
A chill settled in her chest. No matter how much she tried to suppress it, regret and unease kept surfacing.
“Your Highness.”
Yohan called out to her in a low voice.
“…Yes.”
Laryana’s voice trembled slightly. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him. If she did, she felt she would already know his response, and she wasn’t ready for that.
“I’m sorry.”
“…”
As expected, the answer she had hoped for never came. She had known it would be this way. Their relationship had never been good. Expecting him to accept her feelings had been foolish, even shameless.
But why?
Was it because this was her last chance?
A strange and unfamiliar mix of emotions bubbled up inside her.
Her chest tightened. She clenched the fabric of her dress in her hands and bit her lip. It was fine. Their bond had never been deep anyway. Nothing in her daily life would change.
Yet, a single transparent tear slipped down her cheek.
It was sorrow melting away.
It wasn’t just because he had rejected her feelings. It was the realization that her world would remain exactly the same that nothing would ever change.
And so, Laryana was consumed by sorrow.
The disappointment she had always kept hidden in the back of her heart finally overflowed.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cry. Haha. I must seem strange, right? It’s not like we were close or had known each other for long… I’m sorry.”
She wiped away her tears. As her small, delicate fingers brushed against her cheeks, her makeup smudged.
“Hah, this isn’t what I meant to do. What is this… I keep crying for no reason… I’m sorry…”
With her head bowed low, she apologized again and again. She wanted to look at Yohan as she spoke, but she couldn’t lift her head. She didn’t want him to see her tear-streaked, ruined face.
“It’s not strange.”
Then, Yohan spoke softly. His gentle voice made her body stiffen. Cautiously, hesitantly, she lifted her gaze to look at him.
Yohan was smiling, just a little.
“There is no need to apologize for crying. You are not strange, nor are you in the wrong.”
He carefully handed her a handkerchief. She took it with trembling fingers. There was no embroidery on it, just a simple, plain cloth.
“Your Highness was honest with your feelings. They say that pain is sometimes necessary for growth. If I, in any way, have helped you grow as a person… then that alone is meaningful to me.”
Laryana had once been arrogant, looking down on others without a second thought. But now, she was different. She was finally facing people with sincerity.
“Though I cannot give you the answer you wish for, please do not lose your precious heart. Even if it is not me, there will surely be someone who walks the same path as you.”
Laryana wiped her tears with the handkerchief and listened to him in silence. His voice was gentle. The tears that had been flowing endlessly finally ceased, and the hiccups that had welled up in her chest also stopped.
“Thank you for sincerely liking me and for expressing your feelings so honestly. Just knowing that I was the man you truly loved makes me feel like a fortunate person.”
Yohan smiled softly.
Only then did Laryana look at him. His expression was different from before his voice kinder, his gaze no longer sharp. Had she made the right choice in revealing her feelings? He didn’t see her in a negative light.
“You are really…”
He had every reason to coldly reject her after everything she had done. Yet, instead of simply walking away, he had stayed, handed her a handkerchief, and even comforted her. Laryana let out a small laugh.
“Is it because you don’t want me to hate you?”
“Of course not. If that were the case, I wouldn’t have told you how much you displeased me before.”
Yohan rose from his seat and offered a composed yet polite bow.
“I shall take my leave now.”
“Alright.”
Laryana gave him a bitter smile as she watched his back.
They say first love never works out. And it was true. She had been clumsy and immature in many ways. Yohan was the first man she had ever truly loved with all her heart, so perhaps this outcome was inevitable.
‘Who would have thought it would end like this?’
Her smile deepened.
This experience would help her grow. It would shape her into a more mature person. So, she couldn’t see this love as merely painful.
It had been sincere, and it would become a cherished memory.
Laryana raised her hand and waved toward Yohan’s retreating figure.
“Goodbye.”
To the one who awakened me…..my first love.
* * *
After the long banquet had ended, Yohan and Francia were returning to the Rahardt imperial mansion.
“Phew. It’s been a while since I could finally relax.”
“It really has. No matter how luxurious the inn was, it was still uncomfortable in many ways.”
It wasn’t simply because the inn’s environment was bad. The fact that there were people in the next room and many others staying there meant they could never truly be at ease.
Francia gazed into the air as she ran her fingertips along Yohan’s thigh.
“Hmhm, now that there’s no one around to hear us… we can finally share our love, right?”
It wasn’t just a simple question it was an unspoken pressure. From the beginning, Yohan had no choice in the matter. After all, Rudella had already conceived a child before Francia.
Of course, it wasn’t that Yohan disliked being with Francia. He enjoyed it who wouldn’t want to share love with the woman they adored? He was just… exhausted. It was happening too often.
But there was no way he could say that.
“Of course…”
Yohan closed his eyes and nodded.
“Hehe. Good.”
Satisfied with his answer, Francia smiled and clasped Yohan’s hand resting on his thigh. Her soft, delicate fingers intertwined with his.
“By the way, I saw you with Her Highness the Princess. You two seemed to be having a serious conversation… What were you talking about?”
Even while she was with her friends, Francia had been keeping an eye on him. Now that Yohan had become the Duke of Rahardt, approaching him wasn’t as easy as before but one could never be too careful.
Yohan answered casually.
“Nothing too grand. You could call it… a life consultation?”
“Her Highness sought life advice from you…?”
Francia tilted her head at the unexpected response.
“Everyone has worries they can’t easily share with others. The princess is no different.”
“Hm…”
Francia narrowed her eyes and gazed at Yohan intently. Her ruby-like, crimson pupils pierced through him.
“Well, it doesn’t seem like anything serious. I was just worried she might be flirting with you.”
“Nothing like that happened.”
Yohan remained calm as he answered, but inwardly, he sighed in relief. If he had told her what really happened with Laeriana, Francia might have burst into anger and ordered the carriage to turn around.
“We’ve arrived.”
While they had been talking, the carriage wheels had come to a stop. Looking outside, they saw the front gate of the Rahardt estate.
Yohan stepped out first, offering his hand to help Francia down. Once she descended the steps, she smiled and placed a soft kiss on his cheek.
“Thank you.”
“Think nothing of it.”
They exchanged brief greetings with the guards at the gate before stepping inside the mansion.
In the lobby, Rudella stood at the center, dressed in a light gown, surrounded by the head butler and a line of attendants.
“Welcome home, Duke. Welcome, Lady Francia.”
—Welcome home, Duke. Welcome, Lady Francia.
Because she stood in front of the butler and servants, Rudella maintained a formal and respectful demeanor as she greeted them.
“…What’s all this?”
Yohan asked with curiosity, and Rudella gave a small smile.
“We’ve hired a new head butler. Now that this estate is truly befitting of a great noble house, I’ve set some rules accordingly.”
It was true that respecting the head of the house was an important matter. If Rudella, who held the highest status in the mansion, acted this way, the butler and servants would naturally follow suit.
“Thank you, Rudella. You always think ahead.”
“Hehe, I’d prefer to be thanked with a kiss later.”
Rudella’s gaze toward Yohan was filled with sweetness, and the gentle curve of her lips exuded an affectionate warmth.
“Ahem, Miss Rudella? I’m standing right here, you know.”
Francia narrowed her eyes and glared at Rudella. She didn’t appreciate being completely ignored while Rudella was so absorbed in her conversation with Yohan.
“My apologies, Lady Francia. Welcome home.”
Even under Francia’s sharp gaze, Rudella simply smiled and greeted her smoothly. She could afford to remain composed after all, she carried Yohan’s child.
“…”
Knowing that, Francia’s expression darkened. Her eyes turned cold, and her lips pressed into a thin line.
“The water has been heated. If you’d like a meal, please let us know, and we’ll prepare it immediately.”
Rudella’s eyes curved gracefully as she spoke. Her face was filled with ease and composure. No matter what Francia did, she could never surpass Rudella. Because Rudella carried Yohan’s child.
There was no point in clashing any further. The outcome was already decided.
Francia’s gaze shifted toward Yohan.
“…Are you going to bathe right away?”
“I think that would be best. The banquet hall was warm, so I ended up sweating a bit.”
With so many people gathered, the temperature in the banquet hall had inevitably risen, even in the middle of winter.
“In that case, I’ll show you the way.”
Rudella smiled softly and linked arms with Yohan. Francia stood on his other side, but Rudella paid her no mind.
“…..”
“…..”
Their gazes collided in midair. Sharp eyes met cold ones. The tense, dangerous atmosphere between them spread like an invisible force.
“…Well then, Francia, I’ll see you in a little while.”
“Yes…”
At Yohan’s words, both Rudella and Francia withdrew their gazes as if nothing had happened. The attendants, who had been stiff with unease at the palpable tension, finally let out subtle sighs of relief.
Rudella led Yohan toward the bathroom, her steps graceful and unhurried.
“Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m fine. The physician checks on me regularly, so there hasn’t been any difficulty.”
“What about morning sickness? You haven’t been eating well.”
“I’ve been choosing foods that I can handle.”
Rudella rested her head lightly against Yohan’s shoulder, her fingertips gently stroking his arm.
“There’s no need to worry. The physician is always with me.”
“Hm…”
“If you’re that concerned, you could ease my worries with a kiss.”
“I suppose I should. You’ve worked hard managing the estate.”
Their steps came to a stop in front of the bathroom. Yohan glanced around to ensure no one was watching before pressing his lips to Rudella’s.
Their lips met softly, tongues entwining in a slow, heated exchange. Saliva mixed as Rudella stood on tiptoe, her arms winding tightly around Yohan’s neck.
Overcome by the long-awaited kiss, she melted into him, pressing her body closer. Her arms tightened around him, silently demanding more.
“…That’s enough.”
Just as the kiss was growing deeper, Yohan pulled away. If they went any further, he might end up taking her to the bedroom.
“Hm, such a shame.”
Rudella licked her lips, savoring the lingering taste of Yohan’s saliva. There was a faint hint of wine.
“If we continue, I might not be able to stop.”
“Hehe, I wouldn’t mind if you didn’t.”
“…Now isn’t the best time.”
Yohan chuckled awkwardly, gently stroking Rudella’s hair before turning away.
“I’ll be back after my bath. I’ll come see you before bed, but if you’re tired, you can sleep first.”
Rudella shook her head.
“I’ll wait. I’ve missed seeing you.”
“Alright, then I’ll come quickly.”
Yohan bent down and kissed her cheek before stepping into the bathroom.
“Hehe.”
Rudella touched her cheek, savoring the warmth that lingered on her skin. A soft blush spread across her ears.
* * *
Dressed in a light gown after her bath, Francia sat waiting for Yohan, idly flipping through the letters that had arrived in the meantime.
They were all the usual invitations requests to attend social parties, debutante balls, and various gatherings.
‘The letters are always the same.’
Of course, Francia had no intention of attending such events. She had no close acquaintances among them only people who sought the prestige of Ferbache. Why would she bother?
As she was skimming through the letters….
‘—This one…?’
She noticed a familiar sealing wax.
The crest of the House of Fritsche, one she had seen countless times before her regression.
‘It couldn’t be…’
A tremor ran through her fingertips as she carefully tore open the envelope.
And the moment she saw the name inside, her heart nearly stopped.
[Rudbeckia Friché]
Beneath the cold, precise handwriting, only a single line was written:
[Give me back my Yohan.]